Episode 29.17 - Shut Your Mouth, Hollie
May 14

Chico: Hey, this is Chico Alexander, and this ep of the big show is going out to all the moms out there. And to my mom... I love you... I miss you...
Gordon: Hey Chico.
Chico: Yes, Gordon.
Gordon: I'm called a mother a lot. Does that count?
Chico: About as much as it counts to count Shaft, because as we all know, Shaft is one bad mother...
Gordon: well I won't tell you to shut your mouth, but Hollie can shut hers. For good.
Chico: From somewhere in Liverpool... WLTI... is... ON!. And Hollie... is... OFF.
Gordon: Gordon Pepper and Chico here, and Hollie is...off somewhere.



Chico: Hollie had a big misstep this week. She sang the song well, but it's not enough to sing the song well, you have to tell the story. She failed to tell the story.
Gordon: It's also about your fan base. As you could tell during the season, Hollie had problems with hers.
Chico: Yep. And she didn't really do anything to expand her base and snipe a few votes from, say, Jessica.
Gordon: No She didn't. She had to impress and she failed miserably at that. Notice we didn't have someone in the bottom with her, but I'm guessing it would have been Jessica.
Chico: She slipped to her default setting. When in doubt, just sing the damn thing, but there's a disconnect that will cost you every time.
Gordon: You have to sing like your life is on the line. She didn't and it cost her.
Chico: Yep. That leaves three people in her wake: the Belter, the Hot Guitar Dude, and the Wailer. Who does Hollie's ouster help or hurt?
Gordon: I still think it's going to be a sausage party.
Chico: Now a crazy thing i noticed. Usually during the round of 4, something weird happens. Something weird DIDN'T happen. So I'm guessing it's going to happen this week and Phillip, if he doesn't show up, will get shipped out.
Gordon: Not a chance. I think he's safe, regardless
Chico: We'll see. Meanwhile, the most predictable final in talent competition history came to pass...



Chico: Chris Mann, Tony Lucca, Juliet Simms, and Jermaine Paul all sing their solos and coach tributes on The Voice. Like we called it...oh, months ago, it comes down to Juliet vs. Jermaine. The winner, perhaps to the chagrin of anyone who was hoping against Javier Colon part 2.... JERMAINE PAUL.
Gordon. Yay. We called Jermaine winning from the beginning of time, so that wasn't a surprise
Chico: No. If you remember Javier won.... and was forgotten not soon afterwards.
Gordon: Who?
Chico: Exactly. I guess the only question left to answer is... will the same thing happen to Jermaine?
Gordon: I think that based on the ratings, Jermaine will have the exact same level of success as Javier did,
Chico: Maybe a little more, because a little more people watched this go around. But the big winner of this season of The Voice would be... the Voice itself, which has as we do this show right now, secured a spot on the fall schedule in advance of upfront week.
Gordon: So maybe 300 albums sold instead of 250.
Chico: While I have the highest of confidence about how The Voice will do, remember the last time a singing competition was put on in the fall. Just saying'.
Gordon: I have zero confidence, It looked like it was losing steam at the end of this season
Chico: It was losing steam at the end of last season, too. I think it's built like that. I don't know why, whereas Idol builds steam as you go to the end.
Gordon: Well, I think it depends on what the audience feels in the Fall. I wonder if it and X-Factor will work or kill each other off.
Chico: We'll see in the fall. Meanwhile, we go from kids singing to kids answering questions... or questioning answers...


CHAMPIONS EDITION!

Chico: In perhaps the most-heated thing to come out of Washington since the latest budget battle - yeah, I went there - we have three girls going for $75,000.
Gordon: Actually, you could call it the latest assault on equal rights
Chico: No, that would just be MY state.
Gordon: Yeowch.
Chico: We're gonna get LETTERS!!!!. =p
Gordon: Better you than me.
Chico: Anyway, Catherine Briley, Rose Schaefer, and Elyse Mancuso are your finalsts. At the end of the first day, we have $10,000 for Catherine, $12,400 for Rose, and $23,200 for Elyse. It's all set up for Elyse to take it. Heading into day 2's FJ! we have Elyse: $28,400 Catherine: $15,400 Rose: $11,800. Let's do some quick math in our heads here. Let's say Rose bets it all, she has $23,600, added to her $12,400, gives her $36,000. Catherine does likewise, she ends up with $40,800. Elyse bets NOTHING.... and she still has $51,600. It's HER TOURNAMENT TO LOSE.
Gordon: So this one's over.
Chico: But you probably want a final...
Gordon; It would be nice.
Chico: How's your American History?
Gordon: Stinky, but lets hear it.
Chico: Here we go.

WHEN THE FUTURE STATE OF IOWA BECAME PART OF THE US, THIS MAN WAS PRESIDENT.

Gordon: (Puts on Mother Goose Outfit) Who was Thomas Jefferson?
Chico: Awwwww. cute. Now he's going to put on something else...
Gordon: (Puts on Anthony Perkins Mother Psycho Outfit) Who was Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce.
Chico: ... That's Klinger!
Gordon: Don't you like the outfit? Or is the dress too ruffly?
Chico: Someone has his M*A*S*H characters all crazy.
Gordon: Well was I on the Radar?
Chico: GROAN...yes.
Gordon: Nice
Chico: And so was Elyse. She bypasses the $75,000 guarantee for $79,600 and this...



Gordon: Very well done. It's interesting that we're awarding her the MVP over 2 people who just split a million. Making this the...



Gordon: ...of morons



Chico: For at least the second time, the end of the Amazing Race takes us to Hawaii. It's Brenchel's to lose... and they lose it. I believe it was on a roadblock, where they had to slide down a hill on a pole (which is harder than it looks) and then roll a rock to a goal (again, harder than it looks).
Gordon: Well it's always a combo. In this case they lose it, but Dave and Rachel also win it
Chico: They do and they have no problem doing so. Just a matter of taking things calm and cool, rather than the muddled mess that the Big Brother couple left us with.
Gordon: We thought it could be a problem with the end of a stress-filled race, and it was.
Chico: It's a wonder that Art & JJ only came in second.
Gordon: Not really. They had their own problems.
Chico: They had more of the same problems that Brenchel did. Though they didn't have nearly the amount of incessant whining.
Gordon: True. but the point is that Dave and Rachel won as a team because they were the only ones who at the end acted like a team.
Chico: And their win is a bit of a historic one.
Gordon: Do tell
Chico: Dave & Rachel won eight legs. This comes from the other Jason on our agent's list, Jason Huhn...So here's what they win, trips to Grenada, Costa Rica, St. Lucia & New Zealand, a 2013 Ford Taurus, and $1,020,000. "No worries on paying taxes on all that loot."
Gordon: Heh. So do we give out another MVP?
Chico: Yes. Yes we do.



Chico: As for who gets the MVP for Survivor... well, that's to be decided.
Gordon: But it won't be a guy.
Chico: Nope.



Chico: We're left with five women.
Gordon: And the women actually did the right move here. The longer Tarzan sticlks around, the more valuable he becomes, and as we said, if he gets to the end, he wins.
Chico: And they took him as far as they could.
Gordon: So now with 5 ladies left, we do one of our favorite segments on the show. Big Board please?

Gordon: Time to play Who Wins If...
Chico: I like this game.
Gordon: Let's start with Kim. If she gets there, she wins.
Chico: Easy.
Gordon: But what if she doesn't? Who has the edge?
Chico: Chelsea cannot win a jury vote, because everyone on the jury was there, because of her.
Gordon: Or maybe she can, if she spins it.
Chico: It'll be fun to see how she spins it. How about Christina?
Gordon: I think she's a factor also if it's her and Chelsea and Alicia. Alicia is a wild card here
Chico: She's gotta make it to the end to stand a chance, though, and it has to be against Christina AT LEAST and Chelsea, who will not win a jury vote. Against Kim... no chance.
Gordon: Agreed.
Chico: Now - gonna make you think a bit, G - SABRINA.
Gordon: She was a mastermind at the beginning of the game and she has made inroads with the guys at the start. She is dangerous and the girls should think about getting rid of her.
Chico: Agreed. So what happens if Kim and Sabrina make it to the end?
Gordon: Kim will win because she'll get the women's vote, but it'll be close and I wouldn't be surprised to see the upset.
Chico: I think Sabrina has more of the guys in her pocket on the jury, and if Kim REALLY wants to win, she'll find a way to get rid of Sabrina.
Gordon: I agree. I think Kim wins, but it will be a lot easier if she wins without having to go up against Sabrina.
Chico: Right. Now... a preview of coming attractions... Let's go back to Jeopardy! for a spell. One of the most awaited events of the year is this week: DC Power Players Week. We have the matchup. the Big Board is already lowered. You thinking what I'm thinking?
Gordon: Yes, but Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney can't get married in North Carolina anymore.
Chico: And they really had it for each other, too, with the way they were fighting. Anyway, let's Power Play..

Chico: Who Wins If?
Gordon: I've seen this before somewhere
Chico: a little Deja Vu for ya?



Chico: .... Graphic. For. Everything.
Gordon: I'd do the shtick, but we're running out of time for this segment. You have the days and matches?
Chico: I do.

MONDAY: Former WH PS Robert Gibbs vs. Hardball's Chris Matthews vs. CNN's Lizzie O'Leary.

Chico: I give the edge to Chris, he's got Deja Vu. He's played the game before. He knows what to do to win.
Gordon: I agree 100%. I'd be surprised if he doesnt win
Chico: Right.

TUESDAY: NBA legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar vs. CNBC's David Faber vs. Fox News' Dana Perino.

Gordon: I'm going to go Dana Perino here in a mild upset over Faber,
Chico: Again, Kareem has played the game before, but I betcha anything that that one answer that he couldn't get about HIMSELF is still plaguing him.
Gordon: He's played the game before, but he wasn't that good when he played it.
Chico: No. As for the other two. It's going to be hard facts. I hate to be THAT GUY.. but CNBC commentators have more hard facts at their disposal. So I'm going to go with David.
Gordon: Difference of opinion. Interesting. Wednesday?
Chico: Wednesday...

Wednesday: BBC News' Katty Kay vs. Dr. Mehmet Oz, vs. Fox News Sunday's Chris Wallace

Chico: I'm going to go with Chris Wallace. Games are in his blood. He is the son of the great Mike Wallace, if you didn't know.
Gordon: I'll say Oz just because I think he's more pop culture savvy
Chico: I don't doubt that. I betcha one thing though... Dr. Oz is going to play the game with his whole body. He's that animated.

Thursday: The Daily Show's Lewis Black vs. columnist Clarence Page vs. NBC News' Chuck Todd

Gordon: Black in a romp
Chico: Agreed.

Friday: Anderson Cooper vs. NY Times columnist Thomas L. Friedman vs. MSNBC's Kelly O'Donnell.

Chico: I'll give it to Anderson, because I think he's due. He's got the broader base of knowledge.
Gordon: I'm going to go with the upset and say Friedman. He's NYC
Chico: New Yorkers go with their own?
Gordon: Usually
Chico: Well, usually cats hate hamsters... Ain't that right, Eve... well, in Eve's case, she hates everyone.
Gordon: That's why we love her
Chico: Well, you anyway. Okay, Choppler is loaded.
Gordon: Roll that beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. First up, the Datebook. Monday is circled like a billion times. Why, G?

That's for all the people who listen to Howard Stern. on Monday he's on your TV as America's Got Talent Debuts.

Chico: It'll be the first regular season debut because NBC needs all the help they can get.
Gordon: And I think they will get it.
Chico: Oh yeah. You thought you had it bad competing against "The Voice". Against AGT? Fuhgeddaboudit.
Gordon: I think this sparks them up. And if not, Howard can always wield this (Gives Chico a bat)
Chico: Iron Bat of Justice with an axe on the end. Hey Gordon!
Gordon: Yes Chico?
Chico: Did you know that this week is Upfront Week?
Gordon: I did yes
Chico: Now for those who don't know what upfront week is, it's the presentation of the upcoming season's schedules to ad buyers.
Chico: now one by one, the networks will reveal what they have in store for the fall, but we've got the scoop tonight.
Gordon: I want chocolate
Chico: You'll take cake batter and like it. :-)
Gordon: Fine. :P

FOX has renewed "X Factor", "Idol", and "Hell's Kitchen". So they're perfect. CBS is also perfect renewing "Survivor" and "Amazing Race". ABC.... not as perfect, but a good three-for-three on regular season shows with "Dancing with the Stars", "Shark Tank" and "The Bachelor". No word on "The Bachelorette" or "Wipeout" as of yet. CW is bringing back "Top Model".

Chico: Now the interesting schedule.

NBC's entire fall schedule has been leaked to the web. The Voice is on it. Fashion Star and Celebrity Apprentice will be on it after tackle football... The Biggest Loser is NOT, BUT sources say it will return int he spring with "a tweaked format".

Chico: That's ... NEVER a good sign. Perhaps the biggest non-game-show shock of all... CBS canceling CSI Miami, which wasn't really a shock, since they lost me after season 7 or 8.
Gordon: It's a bad call for both the show AND NBC on this one. Granted, the show is going the wrong way, but I think it is salvageable.
Chico: I think so too. I mean, it just needs to get back to basics.
Gordon: True Any greenlights?
Chico: Nothing's official yet, but...

It looks like GSN is going to shoot 40 episodes of it $100,000 Pyramid reboot this summer.

Chico: Again, take cum grano salis.
Gordon: It does make sense though. Of course I have here people who make no sense
Chico: (lowers whiteboard)

Are YOU Smarter than...ABC, who doesn't listen to CBS's cease and desists and gets sued for their creation of Glass House looking a little too much like Big Brother.

Chico: Boom. Lawyered.
Gordon: Now who's up for Haterade?
Chico: ME!
Gordon: Now as you've seen there's no Biggest Loser on the schedule. However, that's not the only thing missing from the lineup. WHo's up for a horde of zombies?



Chico: Let me get my shotgun. WHO WANTS SOME?

The following shows are MIA from the schedule: Escape Routes, Fear Factor, It's Worth WHAT?, Marriage Ref, Minute to WIn it, and Who's Still Standing?

Chico: And that's just on NBC.
Gordon: There'll be more mass exoduses in the weeks to come.
Chico: And you're going to have all of them.
Gordon: I will. Right now I need to get Fully Loaded.
Chico: Gotcha covered.

Sarah Monson is a casting associate for reality TV. She has a new e-Book out giving you the secrets of how to get on a show.

Gordon: Oooh Nice
Chico: That'll help. Especially if you put in life skills, "Makes a good media ho."
Chico: (plays Luda)

In this week's Media Ho Report, Steve Austin is looking for a few good rednecks, Rihanna signs on for the American Idol finale, Taran Killam's footage of being on the Price is Right is found...

Chico: Hey, we all have some.

Todd Newton is hosting The Price is Right Live, William Shatner has news for you, Chris Harrison will NOT be the Bachelor on his own show...

Chico: Awwww.

Hell's Kitchen's new cast is announced, Britney Spears abnd Demi Lovato are rumored to be signing on to X-Factor and there's bgeen a Kanye West and Kardashian sighting at a jewelry store. People just don't learn here, do they?

Chico: No.
Gordon: But none of them earn the high honor this week.
Chico: Who does?
Gordon: Your hoes are Ben Bailey, Todd Newton, Wayne Brady and Meredith Vieira
Chico: Or as we like to call them, the law firm of Bailey, Brady, Newton, and Vieira.
Gordon: And one of them will win the Emmy for best game show host this year.
Chico: Two of them, strangely enough, for shows that come Fall will no longer be with us.
Gordon: But still well deserved. They are for Cash Cab, Let's Make a Deal, Family Game Night and Millionaire. And those..are your hoes.
Chico: Now let's head north to Canada...

CBC will not have Wheel or Jeopardy! in the fall, but they will have their own version of "Over the Rainbow", based on the BBC format.

Chico: Great.
Gordon: You know I have an idea, Why don't we Tweet the Canadians and ask them for their opinoin?
Chico: Let's do that. We're tweeting over @wltiongsnn. Anyone want to throw in their two cents are welcome to do so.
Gordon: We'll get the best responses and use them in a future show.
Chico: And that's Brainvision. shut her down, G.
Brobot: Beep beep boooop
Chico: Still to come, fun with threes, but first... a trip to a Deserted Island. Going into the break, a BRAINVISION BREAK! (window crashing)

Congratulations to Kim Spradlin, WINNER... of Survivor: One World.

Chico: Gordon calls it. Again.
Gordon: I'm a sexy sexy beast
Chico: We'll talk more about that next week.
Gordon: So what do we got coming up?
Chico: Coming up is Trios, but first, we're going to a Deserted Island. I have a Gordon shaped tiki. Brings me good luck.
Gordon: Looks lifelike. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22 people who I really don't want to see as my surrogate mom. Ma Parker.
Chico: Ivana Ma from old school Apprentice?
Gordon: Yes. and Ma Bell

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