Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I'm feeling Super.
Chico: Me too. *puts on Hakeem Nicks jersey*
Gordon: (Puts on Tom Coughlin Jersey). I'm ready to get cerebral.
Chico: Word. Okay, we're both pulling for the Giants, so who's pulling for the...

(Brobot wheels out in Tom Brady jersey)

Chico: ... oh.
Gordon: Well, he does have to represent the Vegas line.
Chico: Because he's a machine.
Gordon: There you go. But we have other clashes this week. Some of which are impressive, and others...notsomuch.
Chico: We're going to go over them, as from somewhere in America, the X's and O's edition of WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: YAY! Gordon pepper here, along with Chico Alexander. We start with a battle not on the Grid Iron, but in a TV studio
Chico: Now if you've been reading this show for any breadth of time over the last year or so, you've noticed that we've put a few characters from Simon Cowell's "The X Factor" on notice.
Gordon: If we're talking football, that's a game marred with turnovers.
Chico: Steve Jones, Nicole Scherzinger, and Paula Abdul all make like Tim-who-shall-not-be-named against the Patriots, and get turned over.
Gordon: The reasons being, in no particular order...sucked, sucked and couldn't play by the rules, and sucked and took way too much time sucking.
Chico: More or less.
Gordon: Was getting rid of all 3 of them the right decision?
Chico: All three? No. Two of them, yes. Steve needed to go and Nicole needed to go.
Gordon: I'm going to slightly disagree here, but let's go with our choices of agreement. Steve definitely needed to go. He played up to a UK snarkiness that doesn't play in the U.S.
Chico: Not to mention he overplayed his role as host.
Gordon: He sure did. To be fair, his judges were problem judges, but that should have been dealt with by the producers, and not him.
Chico: When you're dealing with this motley crew of jokers, what are you left to do but overplay your hand?
Gordon: He just couldn't warm up to the audience and he didn't have that charisma.
Chico: No, he was as stiff as a board. Comparatively, Pat Finn was a flippety flopping trout. As for the other person who needed to go... What is a judge there to do? They're there to judge. And this is a problem that Nicole brought with her from "The Sing Off" - she couldn't judge effectively.
Gordon: The booting of Nicole was also a good move. She made arguably two of the worst moves in the season and was responsible for the ratings dropping.
Chico: Two moves.
Gordon: Move #1: Of course, the decision to go to deadlock and see Rachel Crow be eliminated.
Chico: Of course. That falls in line of "not being able to judge".
Gordon: And #2. The decision to NOT go go deadlock and send Simon Cowell's Drew home out of spite.
Chico: This is a talent contest. You have to be a judge of talent. Remember that saying, "Nothing personal, it's just business." You have to be about business when the cameras are rolling. she was too soft. Steve was too hard. And put it together, it's not right at all.
Gordon: Not at all. Now what about Ms. Paula Abdul?
Chico: Now I think she just got caught in the crossfire. I mean, her and Simon are like siblings, but I imagine where this could have been way too much for her. I don't remember off hand Paula doing anything to disrupt the chemistry or the flow of the show...
Gordon: 'Paula, We're running out of time'
Chico: Oh yeah, that.
Gordon: Yeah. Way too long. Your advertisers don't get too happy when you run over - especially your news broadcasts.
Chico: Unless you're American Idol, which I've said for years.
Gordon: And in this case, it's not.
Chico: So there you go. Now the question remains - who gets the vacancies? If you're looking for host with charisma and purpose... Mario Lopez doing anything?
Gordon: We had a chat on this on an earlier show. I'd go Mario Lopez.
Chico: And judges?
Gordon: Go big. There's an article saying that Beyonce was offered 100 mil. I'd go bigger and say Lady Gaga.
Chico: WHY NOT BOTH? LA, Simon, B and Gaga in one room. Imagine the cattiness.
Gordon: That would be awesome - and a definite ratings grabber.
Chico: Speaking of ratings, hey Gordon!
Gordon: Yeeees Chico?
Chico: Did you know it was sweeps?
Gordon: Why yes, yes I did.
Chico: And you know what that means? STUFF!



Chico: This week on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, we had the crew of the Time Bandit from "The Deadliest Catch", a favorite of ours. Andy & Johnathan Hillstrand, the co-captains of the vessel, were playing for the Seattle Fishermen's Memorial. They end up making it to round 2 before facing these questions. First up, $100,0000...

Before becoming a celebrity doctor, which of the following advice-givers was a trained sniper?
A: Dr. Oz
B: Dr. Laura
C: Dr. Ruth
D: Dr. Phil

Gordon: I know this one. She was this because she was in the Israeli Army. It's C.
Chico: I know it too. You're right. Andy knows it too. They move to the Friday show and .... this for $250,000.

What did Charles Darwin once call "the most peculiar and the most human of all expressions"?
A: Yawning
B: Crying
C: Blushing
D: Laughing

Gordon: Logically speaking, we're the only people who blush. I'm going to have to go with that.
Chico: Andy & Johnathan don't know it, so they walk with $100,000. Can't say that I blame them. The next contestant on board... Pam Mueller. Name ring a bell?
Gordon: It does, actually. Sounds sort of Jeopardy-ish
Chico: It should, actually. Ultimate semifinalist.
Gordon: Ah ha
Chico: Very smart lady. AND she was in the audience for Ken Basin's stack. Love in the Jeopardy!. She ends up winning $63,100 and will return for round 2 Monday. We'll see how she gets on next week.
Gordon: Let's go to her old haunts next, How did we do this week on Jeopardy?
Chico: This week, it was all about the College Championship. We had three of the five prelim games. And if I may say so, some pretty stiff competition.
Gordon: Very good play by everyone involved. This tournament hasn't disappointed.
Chico: Wednesday's show featured Weston Mangin from Cal Poly, Charlie Rooney from Loyola Chicago, and Carrie Tian from Harvard. Weston went all sorts of crazy on the board. It was a runaway after a slow start. He had $29,400 to Charlie's $10,800 and Carrie's $4800. Charlie & Carrie are basically playing for Wild Card at this point. Those spots were theirs to lose... and they lost them. They bet almost all of their stash. It's what you have to do really, but leave SOMETHING. You know, in case you completely whiff it.
Gordon: If you play to not win, you won't. If the Giants play to not win, I'll beat their (^_^).
Chico: You got $20 on the Giants?
Gordon: I don't bet on sports. Only the Magic Square thingies.
Chico: Right. Anyway, Weston makes it in, and if you ask me, he's got a chance to go all the way depending on how the seating goes. Next up, Jaime Alayon of GWU, Jason Block's alma mater. He faces Anne Bizek of EIU and Connie Shi of Michigan.
Gordon: That means Jaime loses in the first round, doesn't it?
Chico: He leads with $18,800 to $12,400 for Connie. Anne has $7200.
Gordon: Ah.
Chico: Now this is the first real competition of the tournament. The question is, of course, do I want to be assured of a spot OR risk it on a wild card.
Gordon: Can I win $100,000 at the end of this episode?
Chico: No. Can't even come close, and as we all love to say...What's the point of this week?
Gordon: To get to week #2. So hence, $18,000 is pretty safe. I'll bet at most, $2,000
Chico: Good call. Meanwhile, we get bets of... $4300 for Anne, $6600 for Connie, and $6001 for Jaime. As it is, right now, Anne is on the bubble for a RIGHT response, while Jaime... Jason Blocks it for a wrong one. The category is 19th Century Authors. Here's the clue...

ONE OF THIS AUTHOR'S GREATEST SUCCESSES CAME AFTER REMARKING, "I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT A FELLOW WHO WAS TWO FELLOWS"

Gordon: Well, it's either Robert Louis Stevenson writing about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or Tom Brokaw writing about Mitt Romney sprouting more faces than a hydra.
Chico: Or Tom Brokaw writing about Mitt Romney full stop.
Gordon: True. Is it Stevenson?
Chico: It IS Stevenson. Jaime thought it was Kafka. That very quote sounds... NOTHING like Kafka.
Gordon: Um...no.
Chico: Meanwhile, I don't see much in the way of progress for any of these players. How about from Tyler Benedict of Columbia, who had $20,600 to $11,600 for Sarah Bart (Goucher) and $9600 for Zack Terrill (Vanderbilt).
Chico: Now if I was Tyler, I'd go ahead and bet nothing, because $20,000 in any context is a GOOD week one score.
Gordon: $20,600 is safe.
Chico: And depending on what I knew about National Parks, I'd either lowball it for a good wild card, or try for the golden number. Me, having been to at least five of the national parks, I'd go for it.
Gordon: Again, there's no advantage of getting a high or low wildcard. I bet $69.
Chico: The clue...

A BIOSPHERE RESERVE, THIS SOUTHERN NATIONAL PARK IS THE LARGEST IN THE LOWER 48 COMPLETELY WITHIN ONE STATE.

Gordon: What is the Exxon Valdez Zombie Everglade Biohazard Park?
Chico: ... did you go to Florida for New Years?
Gordon: No I did not. But I've heard stories that the magic confetti down there and the high ultra-powered noisemakers set them off.
Chico: Yep. Like Godzilla. I think I saw one when I was in the EVERGLADES.
Gordon: Exactly.
Chico: Tyler could also be an in for the final. But we'll have to see how the rest of the field plays out. Up for Monday... .... Dook...
Gordon: YAY!
Chico: .... Let's finish the audition tour, shall we?



Chico: Now Marsha Ambrosius released a song called "I Hope She Cheats On You With a Basketball Player". Said song could describe Brittnee Kellogg, who was married... to a basketball player. She's a very bluesy character, her. But it serves to undercut the whole "You can't be a contestant on TV without a sob story" vibe. As does her choice of "You're No Good". Seriously. What's up with that?
Gordon: Hi. I have personality. I'm not going to win, but I make an interesting story as I get booted in the next episode
Chico: Interesting you say that. Next up is the Hollywood Round. I'm guessing she has a total breakdown before Vegas. Any favorites on your end?
Gordon: The guys. All of them. No Girls. There should be a Top 20 guys and 4 females.
Chico: Money on hot guy with guitar again this year?
Gordon: Yep. The guys got by on talent. The girls got by on being ogled by Steven
Chico: I think I can pinpoint it with one theory. Guys concentrated more on sounding good... girls concentrated on looking good... or rather, STEVEN concentrated more on looking at girls. You know what I mean, right? Again, no one's taking the job seriously. I mean... really? I can't be the only one who notices this.
Gordon: I think it boils down to the judges can find the 10 people they think will win and then put in 14 good stories. It really feels like that.
Chico: Well, in that case... *bangs gong* Hams, wake up! We're going early!
Gordon: I'm getting ready for the SUperbowl. Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. We start with a greenlight, which comes with a bit of a caveat. Now Gordon and I are fairly tolerant people. We respect the diversity of all beliefs and credos so long as they are based on love and self-sacrifice. So the criticism that comes with this item is strictly on the idea and the pitch behind it...
Gordon: And not sacrificing other people's beliefs or bodies. I'm not into the whole human sacrifice thing.
Chico: Of course not. THAT SAID...

GSN has greenlit a pilot from Michael Davies called "American Bible Challenge".

Chico: I'm gonna go ahead and say it now...Bad Idea Jeans.
Gordon: Well I don't have a problem with the show itself. I think it's a good idea in terms of people reading the bible. My only question is - is this the right network to air the show on, and is GSN willing to alienate the non-Christian segment of its audience?
Chico: Hence my original assessment: "bad idea jeans." This could be a very well produced show, but it's for totally the wrong audience.
Gordon: Agreed.
Chico: Besides that, when has a religion-based game show worked?
Gordon: I can see one working on the right network. You know where this show should be? CMT
Chico: Squeezed between reruns of Trick My Truck and Trading Spouses?
Gordon: Why not give the people in the Southern Bible belt a show about the bible?
Chico: You could. And Viacom would have the cash to blow on it if it faltered. But GSN... no, they need something more suited to its audience.
Gordon: What audience?
Chico: HELLO AND GOODNIGHT, AMERICA! Next?
Gordon: Here's a Datebook of shows we want to see.

This week, we have the Jeopardy Tournament. on Sunday we have Season 3 of Worst Cooks in America, as well as...wait for it...Full Metal Jousting.

Chico: That sounds hot.
Gordon: Probably is if you did it in 80 degree weather
Chico: This came to us from an eagle-eyed agent Brian Sapinski. Basically, jousters trade medieval metal for the modern day stuff.. Test of nerve and last one standing wins. It's jousting on television.
Gordon: Could be entertaining...but I doubt it.
Chico: Well, we did like Extreme Dodgeball, but we'll see.
Gordon: We shall. And then we shall get fully loaded
Chico: Yes we shall.

An update on the Jeopardy! College Test situation. Due to issues beyond the pale, the test will not be held this week as scheduled. Stay tuned to Jeopardy.com, Twitter.com/jeopardy, and of course, GSNN for further details.

Gordon: Of course. It's smart for Jeopardy to postpoine if they are not ready to do so. However, I have dumb right here.
Chico: *wheels in Smartboard*

Are YOU Smarter than...Anyone associated with Red or Black, as now the Casino Commission in the UK has stepped in and threatens a lawsuit. I'm guessing we're not going to see this show in the U.S.

Chico: Let me think about this for a moment. I'm done thinking. Next?
Gordon: Next up - some Haterade

NYC is all ready for the Super Bowl. American Idol? Not so much, which is why you didn't see a NYC audition show - THERE WASN'T ONE. Instead. the people who auditioned in the city got moved to different cities in the US, which is why you saw east coasters in Pittsburgh and Portland amongst places. No love for the big apple.

Chico: Well, in Idol's defense... NYC was a late add and they couldn't get the judges back in time.
Gordon: I don't care. NYC should never have been left off to begin with.
Chico: I'm just saying.
Gordon: The idolers took a trip. I want to take one also. Where to?
Chico: Turkey. To which Gordon says...
Gordon: Gobble
Chico: Thank you.

Jeopardy! will launch over there in the spring.

Chico: It was one of the deals made for the show last year. We get to see a third treatment from the Turkish later this year.
Gordon: We do. And maybe we'll get Media Hoes in it.
Chico: Yay.

In this week's Media Ho Report, it's Super-Ho Week, with Steven Tyler, Carrie Underwood, Jordin Sparks, Deion Sanders, Katy Perry, Neil Patrick Harris, David Arquette, and other people who have either starred in or participated in a reality show being there! Whoo hoo!

Gordon: But none of them is the Ho of the week.
Chico: Who you got?
Gordon: I got Katharine McPhee, who in addition to singing National Anthems, will be playing the lead in NBCs new show 'Smash'
Chico: I heard about that show. It's on after the Voice... and it's got Debra Messing, Anjelica Huston, a couple of Broadway semi-vets, and that guy from Coupling. The UK version, not the US version. As a native Californian who's a New Yorker at heart, and a singer to boot (not unlike Katharine McPhee), I'm interested.
Gordon: We'll see if anyone else is. It's a good place to put a show behind the Super Bowl.
Chico: Yeah, up against Castle & Hawaii Five-0. Thank god for TiVo.
Gordon: Yep. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: But given that I have no interest in Castle... sorry ABC... I'll catch it. Speaking of TiVos, as soon as the Brobot shuts it down for Brainvision...
Brobot: Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooppppp Tom Brady
Chico: ... we'll see what your TV's playlist has to say about your TV. But what do we have first, G?
Gordon: First, we have a bunch of job openings that we need filled. You're reading WLTI. you give us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22 out of work singers who think they can judge new talent.

(BrainVision has been brought to you by Final Answer Fantasy XIII-2. A quiz show contestant's odyssey leads up up the classic Millionaire ladder and into danger. And his only companion... whoever is in the companion seat, of course.)

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE