Episode 29.2 - On Fire
Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper,
and...wait a second, it's cold out?
Chico: *in full winter gear* ... yup. Here's hoping it's warm where you are. We
hope you have a warm beverage and a warm breakfast and a warm blanket.
Especially the warm blanket.
Jason: And a scarf.
Gordon: Good transition, because we will help you guys scarf down this week in
game show action.
Chico: Meanwhile, we're going to keep you warm with our brand of rapid-fire
analysis with fiery wit... and toast. I'm Chico Alexander, and from somewhere in
America... WLTI... is... ON!
Jason: WOO HOO!
Gordon: Yay! Gordon Pepper here, along with Chico and this week's special guest,
Mr. Jason Block
Jason: BRRRR. And thank you.
Chico: Keeping warm?
Jason: Trying to.
Chico: You really know who was hot and cold at the same time this week? Dan
McShane. We lead off the Opening Round with...
Chico: We began 2012 with Jason Keller, then there was Dave Leach, and now comes
Dan McShane, who rode a crazy streak to a probable tournament berth this week.
In four days, he picked up $62,001, but his inability to close would prove to be
his undoing. Thursday's show had him leading at the end of regulation with
$18,800 to Stephanie Walker's $13,400 and Brandon Libby's $11,200. Now... Let's
say you're Brandon Libby.
Everyone: You're Brandon Libby.
Chico: What's your bet?
Gordon: You can play Mars or Venus here. I'd play Venus and hope for a triple
stumper. $2201 would be the optimal bet.
Chico: Well, I can tell you right now that NEITHER of those end up happening,
but in Brandon's case, it's a good thing. The Final Jeopardy! category: Women
1 OF THE 2 AMERICAN WOMEN AUTHORS NOMINATED FOR THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR LITERATURE
Jason: Who is Pearl S. Buck? (for The Good Earth)
Gordon: What is Sarah Palin for 'How to succeed in Alaska (and not get caught by
Chico: That would make her... 80 years old at least. Hey, she keeps well.
Chico: Jason got one. Who was the other one?
Jason: Ms. Margaret Mitchell (for a little novel called Gone With the Wind)
Chico: Might've heard of it. Now if you're Brandon Libby, you bet $2201 and hope
for a triple stumper. There was no triple stumper... and Brandon did NOT bet
$2201. Brandon bet $8000 AND he was the only one to get it right. Good thing
too, because if he wasn't, then Dan would've gotten his fifth win.
Gordon: Good for Brandon. Now what usually happens to Giant Killers?
Jason: One and Done.
Chico: They don't last too long, but here's the weird thing; We've seen nothing
BUT giant killers in 2012.
Gordon: And the Killers have gone on a long streak themselves
Chico: Dave Leach killed Jason Keller and lasted for another six days. Dan
McShane killed Dave Leach and lasted another three.
Gordon: How does Brandon do on Friday?
Chico: He was again the only one to get Final right.
Gordon: Can we se a FJ please?
Chico: Sure can. The category: Presidential Running Mates... oh dear.
THE TRADITIONAL INAUGURAL LUNCH FOR THIS PRESIDENT & VP FEATURED BOILED STUFF
LOBSTER & PRIME RIBS OF BEEF AU JUS.
Chico: Both tasty.
Jason: Who is JFK and Lyndon B. Johnson?
Chico: JFK & LBJ from JIB. GMP?
Gordon: I would have said who was George W. Bush and Dan Quayle, but they were
already stuffed with something else made from a bull.
Rob the Cash Cow: Moo?
Gordon: Yes Rob. You call it fertilizer.
Chico: Jason is right. As usual. But Gordon with the more entertaining answer
and explanation behind it.
Jason: You are on "fire" there, G. :)
Chico: *fans G off* Take a knee, man. Now it's Brandon's turn. He has $31,600
after two games, and he'll be back on Monday for game #3. If he makes it to #4,
then we can talk tourney, but what do you think about Dan's chances in
Gordon: Dan's chance isn't too good, as we have already seen a few big monsters
in the field. That being said, he's knocked off one of them, but we'll see how
they both do rested against each other.
Chico: I think we'll have to wait another 9 months for that. Speaking of, it's
time for a baby shower.
Jason: (plays Rock a Bye Baby)
Chico: Wednesday, TPIR held its World's Biggest Baby Shower episode. No models
were pregnant but the entire audience WAS. Contestants playing for 2 were the
order of the day with baby prizes and prizes for AFTER the baby makes their
Jason: Pretty much
Chico: And because it makes sense, a playing of Eazy as 1-2-3. Heh. I have the
stats right here. Let'em Roll for a Jeep Patriot was a loss. Switch? for trips
to Palm Springs & Santa Barbara was a win. Cliffhangers for a Pottery Barn Kids
nursery was a BIG LOSS. The player forgot the most important rule of
Cliffhangers: start LOW.
Chico: A baby bathtub is NOT $45. That gives us a 23-step disadvantage. Already
we have the next of kin on line 1.
Chico: Eazy as 1-2-3 for a PC, a pair of strollers and a washer/dryer was a win,
One Away for a Ford Focus was a loss and Safecrackers for a new kitchen with
baby food and baby monitors was a win. So we had a breakeven with $64,611 in
prizes won, which is much better than your usual very special episode.
Jason: It was fun to watch.
Chico: Very much. Also fun: the Showcases. First up, a Sears portrait bundle, a camcorder, a trip to Jamaica, and a
Dodge Grand Caravan. Gordon, you look like the Gerber baby, you biddin' or
Gordon: I'll bid.
Chico: Go right on ahead.
Chico: Jason, you have a Baby Einstein DVD package with HDTV, home theatre &
portable DVD player, music classes, and a Hyundai Elantra Touring GLS, even
though your baby will probably be born knowing all there is to know and then
some. Your bid?
Chico: Okay, Jason, your Showcase is... $22,193.
Chico: No baby Einstein for you. Gordon, your Showcase.... why you bet $28,282, I don't know, but your
Showcase.... is.. $39,801!
Gordon: I'm sorry, did I win?
Jason: Yes you did
Gordon: So I could have bet $69 and still win then?
Chico: Yes, yes you could've. Elisangela Thomas is going to Jamaica and getting
a car. Gordon, you're going nowhere and getting nothing.
Gordon: I should get something for you making fun of my winning bid.
Chico: Who said I was making fun?
Gordon: I think you should talk about Face-Off Season 2.
Chico: You know what... I will. Because you're good people. Time for Story Time
Gordon: Ooh! I like story time.
Jason: READ US A STORY!
Chico: And because you've been good fanboys and girls, I get to read you a story
of... "The Wizard of Oz". You've been waiting a good long time for this, haven't
Gordon: Yes, daddy!
Jason: (sits down legs crossed)
Chico: Ok, that was creepy. Anyhoo, once upon a time, the princess of a
Hollywood special effects dynasty sent a call out through the looking glass for
the best artists in the land to compete in a glorious contest for $100,000 and a
year's supply of make up. Fourteen ventured through the looking glass and saw
their first challenge as reimagining the characters from the Wizard of Oz. There
was a scarecrow there, and his name was Jason. There was a Tin Woodsman there,
and his name was Gordon. And there was a Cowardly Lion there, and his name was
Chico. Put'em up, put'em uuuuuuuuuuuuuuppp!
Gordon: Is this the part where it's Friday the 13th, I go psycho and start
swinging the axe around?
Chico: That comes later!
Gordon: ...oh. Sorry. Continue.
Chico: The charges had to reimagine these iconic characters in a way that would
be most pleasing to the princess and her royal court, all of which returned from
last season. They also had to reimagine the Wicked Witch of the West. And
THIS... is what they came up with.
Chico: The Tin Woodsman looked like Fireman from the first Megaman game. The
ladies team came up with this...
Chico: Tin Man went all Steampunk.
Jason: This is why I like the show so much
Chico: The princess LOVED the Women's creations. The Men's... Not so much.
Chico: I told you Tin Man looked like Fireman.
Gordon: And Greg got send home because he did a poor job on my chest.
Chico: THEN... The Tin Woodsman hoisted his axe in the air and chopped Greg's
head off like a limb on a bowling ball. THE END!
Gordon: Oooh. I liked the ending.
Chico: I knew you would.
Jason: BTW...this is one of these shows you SHOULD be watching. I LOVE the
Chico: Absolutely. It picked up very nicely from the first season, It was worth
Gordon: Very true. And I did agree with the judges.
Chico: Yeah, I mean, look at the ladies' models, and then look at the guys. We
know what the score is, thank you very much.
Gordon: And now we bounce over to Millionaire. This week, we send people off on
Chico: It was Disney Cruise in & Win Week
Gordon: What I liked this week was that some of the civilians had shots at
cruises if the contestants didn't get to them on their stack
Chico: I think that was the idea. One audience member a day can walk in to watch
a game show and leave on a cruise aboard the Disney Fantasy.
Gordon: Cruises for everybody. However, did anyone cruise to big money?
Chico: On the first four days, we gave away some cash and some cruises, but no
one passed the first 10. And no one would do so on Friday, either. Margi Rice
would pin the leaderboard this week with $52,600 going into this question...
Raised in Nantes, France and London, England, who was the only First Lady in
American history to be born in Europe?
A: Martha Washington
B: Louisa Adams
C: Martha Jefferson
D: Dolley Madison
Jason: I am guessing D. Dolly Madison
Chico: Jason, the former millionaire champion. Gordon, the guy who knows a guy.
Gordon: I'm going to have to school the Jeopardy champion. Again. B. Louisa
Chico: CORRECT !! You're going on a cruise!
Chico: You know where you're going?
Gordon: With our budget? The dry dock right outside of Millburn, New Jersey
Jason: If that.
Chico: You should BE so lucky. You're going to the DEALYS!
Gordon: Whoo hoo!
Chico: Let's Spread The Love.
Chico: This week was the THIRD Annual Let's Make a Deal Awards, where random
players get random awards with random amounts of cash attached. It's become
somewhat of a thing.
Jason: This season has AGAIN ramped up the fun, excitement and prizes.
Chico: Yep, and for what's probably the best episode of LMAD every year, they
went big on it. We had a movie premiere given away, Tiffany watches, a few cars,
one of them flying and some bobbleheads. But the Big Deal is worth $26,382.
Gordon, pick a door.
Gordon: (points to Chico's Garage Door) I want what's in there.
Chico: Trust me, you don't. Apparently they don't make parts for it anymore.
Gordon: Oh. I don't want it then. Door #2.
Jason: I will take #1
Chico: No one took #3... a classic arcade gaming suite worth $6449. Jason you
went with #1... which we'll see AFTER #2. Gordon, you get a new bedroom collection worth $3174.
Gordon: I don't want to win everything. I want you to torture Jason with all of
the fabulous prizes he's not getting.
Chico: Fair enough. Jason, you're NOT getting a ski trip to Vermont and a Ford
Fiesta. Thank Gordon.
Jason: Thanks, Gordon. :P
Gordon: You're welcome. Now Jason can't win that - and he can't win a Million
Dollars on Wheel of Fortune, because he's been on that show before. However, we
could see someone else do it in our...
Jason: May I take this?
Gordon: Take it, Jay.
Jason: Friday the 13th saw Mark Motzik win $13,515 in the front game which
includes a nice trip to Hawaii. But in the game, he gets the Wild Card and the
Million Dollar Wedge
Chico: The stars are aligning.
Jason: so for the 5th time this season we have a shot at the $1M with the best
scenario possible. He lands on the 1st A in AMERICA'S. His category is PERSON.
With the RSTLNE and his choices of P D M A and the WC of H we have:
_ _ L D E N _ _ _
Chico: What I've been called plucked from college to the world of lab
medicine... a GOLDEN BOY.
Gordon: What Chico has also been called in the world of Lab Medicine - A MILDEW
Chico: .. ewwwwwww.
Gordon: Seriously, _ _ L D E N can only be Golden. There is no way you should
miss this one.
Jason: Chico is right. So is Mark. Is Mark a Millionaire?...............NO.
Jason: But he does win $30,000.
Gordon: That's good money
Jason: He leaves with $43,515 in cash and his trip to Hawaii.
Chico: But where was the big money?
Jason: but...he was 7 wedges away in the ' in AMERICA'S.
Chico: That would be the "apostrophe".
Jason: So Michelle Loewenstein can keep her champagne as the only MDW Winner in
Wheel History so far.
Gordon: Actually speaking of mildew and mops, The Hammies are doing their own
Chico: How cute!
Jason: In January?
Gordon: Hey when you do news, you do the work when you have time for it and they
have off on Monday. Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day to all of those celebrating
it! (Goes into the Brainvision Choppler), hey guys (cough), that's way (cough
cough) too much (cough gag) Chlorine (Gag wheeze)
Jason: (tosses Gordon the Gas Mask)
Gordon: (Puts on gas mask) Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage
Jason: That works :)
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your
frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico
Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: ... Okay, that should take care of the chlorine.
Jason: You hit the vent button. Nice.
Chico: Of course. Didn't you know the Choppler had a vent button? It's right
next to the Datebook. In fact.. *tosses G the Datebook*
On Monday, we're going back to the Fort. Boyard, that is, and New Tattoo show #1
debuts - Ink Master. That's followed by 300 pound gorilla American Idol on
Tuesday, Shark Tank on Friday and Bud United's The Big Time on Sunday.
Chico: So to recap... Fort Monday, Ink Tuesday, Idol Wednesday, Shark Friday,
Gordon: I'm sensing Maximum Strength Capsule Reviews this weekend.
Chico: Maybe. Or I could have a baseball bat that's actually... a baseball bat.
Now you can't wait until the baseball season opens up again, right? *puts on
Gordon: If it's what I'm thinking you're going to talk about, let's play ball.
Chico: Well.. you don't have to.
MLB Network has greenlit a new show, Baseball IQ. It's going to be a
single-elimination tournament with 32 of the unsung heroes of day-to-day
operations for Major League Baseball (one for each team, MLB.com, and the
Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown). Matt Vasgersian hosts.
Jason: If you do this right, this COULD be the next great sports quiz. 32 fans
of teams going one on one for a cash prize? That is MONEY.
Gordon: I really like the idea of this show. I hope it pans out well.
Chico: Pretty much looking at the next coming of Sports Challenge if they do it
Gordon: Yes. What about a production company that did it all wrong?
Chico: ANOTHER ONE?
Gordon: Oh it gets better...or worse.
Jason: Let's hear this.
Are YOU Smarter than...Talkback Thames, who gets a bunch of people axed over
their lack of background checks.
Gordon: First of all, you have the person on Take Me Out who has a criminal
record. And of course you had the person on Red or Black with a criminal abuse
record. But this one...this is intriguing. Aaron Withers, the next contestant on
the show Take Me Out...is a $50 an hour hooker.
Jason: CHECK PLEASE!
Gordon: But WAIT! It gets better!
Chico: Story's not over yet.
Jason: It isn't?
Gordon: It isn't. The date / winner of the show, Wen-Jing Mo...is a $200 an hour
Jason: HOLY COW.
Gordon: So you can say that they are the perfect combination. Either way, the
dates won't be on the cheap side, as this is a Million Dollar Matchmaker's dream
Chico: Unfortunately, we probably won't hear of this on the show. Even MORE
unfortunately, we probably won't hear the end of this ANYWHERE ELSE.
Gordon: You guys need some Haterade. And a Zombie.
Jason: AH! He's looking...cold.
Chico: And right at home.
With no word of its existence in over a year, GSN's 1 Vs. 100 has been put on
the Zombie watch, which will warm up his belly. And if you had the insipid 'Work
It' lasting only 2 weeks, you win!
Jason: I had it at 1.
Chico: I had it at 2.
Gordon: You just have to shake your head and wonder how in the world that got
Chico: Someone who watched Bosom Buddies on DVD and thought it could work in the
here and now.
Gordon: Forget the fact it had Tom Hanks. The show was awful.
Chico: Yep. I have a quote...Paul Lee, unapologetic president of ABC
Entertainment "thought there was room for a very, very silly show." And then he
says something about being British. So there's that. HE needs to get loaded.
Gordon: You can be silly without being foolish
Chico: Yep. Example...
IFC is taking an idea fro the New York Television Festival and giving it a
tryout. It's called "Bunk".
Chico: Hosted by comic Kurt Braunohler, it's said to be a cross between "Whose
Line Is It Anyway" and "Remote Control" for prizes like, and these were in the
pilot, "dental work" or "a mother's love". Should be fun. IFC's always good for
a laugh. Though if you're still irked about the direction that AMC took in
recent years, you'd probably think this was bunk on principle.
Gordon: I hope it's good. At least give IFC guts for trying.
Chico: They struck gold at least twice with Portlandia and Onion News Network.
Gordon: We'll see if Kurt can become the next media ho
Chico: If he's anything like the Todd Alan Crains and the Jon Gabruses of the
world, it's a certainty. (plays "Ludacris")
In this week's Media Ho Report, Cat Cora and Curtis Stone go around the world in
80 plates, Bob Barker wants to keep the elephants together, Colby Donaldson
returns to Season 4 of Top Shot...
Jason: Top Shot is another GREAT show.
Stefano Langone signs with Hollywood Records, Ace Young and Diana DeGarmo may be
an item, Kelly Clarkson does the National Anthem...
Chico: For some large-scale football game to be held in Indianapolis in February
whose name we can't legally say.
Jason: Which I hope to see my Boys in Blue win :)
Chico: Though I can say that Gordon's a super... bowler.
Scotty McCreery goes Platinum, Nick Cannon gets released from the hospital (feel
better Nick!) and Isaac Mizrahi gets married in NYC.
Chico: Good for Isaac. He deserves it.
While Paula Abdul and Jeff Bratton don't get married
Gordon: But none of them are the hoes of the week.
Gordon: Your Hoes are Wayne Brady and Tiffany Coyne, who will be crossing over
into the Bold and the Beautiful. But what makes this different is that some LMAD
contestants may ALSO have roles on the Bold and the Beautiful as prizes.
Chico: It's actually less complicated than it sounds.
Gordon: BATB Star Jack Wagner (who was also on The Price is Right) will be
crossing over to LMAD to give out those prizes.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And finally, let's go on a trip.
Jason: Where are we going?
Chico: To Britain. Unfortunately, it's to bury a friend.
Richard Hopkins, who developed "Strictly Come Dancing" for the BBC and helped
bring it to the states as "Dancing With the Stars", has died.
Jason: HE was very young if I am not mistaken
Chico: Succumbed to cancer at 47. His projects included Dancing, Big Brother,
Fame Academy, Fear Factor, and the People's Quiz.
Gordon: Can we have a moment of silence please?
Chico: Thank you. Shut it down, J.
Jason: (shuts Choppler Down)
Chico: Still to come, just when you thought it was all over for the toilet... It
Jason: One more time right?
Chico: One more time. And then that's it. I'm cutting you off. But first...
Letters. Numbers. Sentences. It's all fun.
Gordon: You're reading WLTi. You give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you 22
people who already use Talkback Thames services. Like the U.S.Congress.
Chico: And Fox. Joe. Fricking. Millionaire.
Jason: LOL You win.
(BrainVision has been brought to you by Alex and Men-Jing's dating services.
Because we can probably set it up better than any other group - and we only
charge $250 an hour, with a guaranteed happy ending.)
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