Episode 29.13 - Things That Make Gordon Ill
April 16

Chico: What's good game show fans. I'm Chico Alexander... and I have a giant novelty check for Jason Block!
Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I'm...cough...suffering...cough cough...from allergies...gasp wheeze...
Chico: *whaps Gordon with novelty check* That help?
Gordon: ....no. Now I also have a headache.
Chico: Ah. Sorry. Maybe you need a little game show therapy.
Gordon: So we'll be theming this show, 'Things that get Gordon ill'.
Chico: Doesn't take much, does it?
Gordon: This week? No.
Chico: I see. So from Somewhere in Gordon's medicine cabinet... WLTI... is... on!
Gordon: Thanks, and I may have needed some good drugs to get through the week. That comes on later, but first...It's SUPER PLINKO!
Chico: Now i have a question for you..



Chico: What's the WORST thing that can happen to a week-long event?
Gordon: It fizzles out after Day 1
Chico: Bingo. And that's what happens with this particular one. Now don't get me wrong, it was a good idea... but someone had to go and hit it on the first shot. Giggity.
Gordon: That wools be Summer Johnson, who wins a check for $21,500. now good for Summer, but, no more $100,000.
Chico: Nope. Now the best that can happen is $80,000. That... doesn't happen either. But we're not finished.
Gordon: It would be, if anyone hit the center Plinko slot.
Chico: But...
Gordon: No one does leading up to Friday, which makes Plinko very lucrative...if anyone hit it on Friday.
Chico: And no one did.
Gordon: (losing horns)
Chico: In fact, the player who did play Plinko won NOTHING.
Gordon: That would be a Plink$o.
Chico: A Plinko stinko. But because no one hit the Super Plinko on Friday, Publishers Clearing House, who was sponsoring the whole thing decided to throw in a Priceless Bonus for anyone who won the Showcase on Friday of $25,000.
Gordon: AKA You all sucked, so we're going to give out money anyways
Chico: Pretty much, yes. So it was a good idea. As is many a gimmick, but like many a gimmick, the execution was a bit lacking.
Gordon: It was - and so was the singing this past week. Let's start with Idol.



Chico: Now I liked this week, because I correctly called it. Round of 7 was songs from the last two or three years. I bring that up because, what usually happens in the round of 7?
Gordon: That's usually when we start having...THE CHAOS THEORY!
Chico: Or as we call it, "The Gordon Rule". If you sing lights out, you're assumed to be safe, and no one votes for you.
Gordon: That would be Rule #1.
Chico: Gordon, Part 2?
Gordon: Rule #2: If you sing badly (and usually don't), the audience will know you're in trouble, and will call to rescue your sorry butt.
Chico: Rule #3: If you just stand there and not show up... don't expect any votes from us. And since it's the round of seven, we get the two groups. One group has Hollie Cavanagh, Colton Dixon, and Phillip Phillips. The other has Joshua Ledet, Jessica Sanchez, and Elise Testone. Skylar Laine... is safe. So she has the insufferable task of standing next to the top 3. Skylar, perhaps seeing the writing on the wall, heads back to the couches.
Gordon: Smart move.
Chico: Now if it was me, I'd stand next to the judges. Because they're going to be back next week. See what I did there?
Gordon: I did. Also a smart move.
Chico: Hollie, Colton and Phillip are SAFE. Meaning, of course, Joshua, Jessica, and Elise are your bottom three. The person left to sing for their life, and unless you weren't paying attention, you probably saw it coming... JESSICA SANCHEZ.
Gordon: For the reasons mentioned above. She mailed it in, and as a result, the audience mailed her a ticket home...or not, because the judges use the save.
Chico: The judges for the first time execute their One Save... wisely.
Gordon: They do, and I think Jessica will get the votes to stick around next week. And of course, the pulse of this would be that the audience used their votes to bail out both Elise and Hollie, who should be packing their bags for next week.
Chico: Yep. Everything will be back to normal next week. Though because of Jermaine's earlier elimination, I doubt that there will be a double elimination next week.
Gordon: I agree with that. On a side note, there are 2 people that have yet to be in the bottom: Philip Phillips (The person Jason called to win the whole thing) and Colton Dixon (The person who I called to win the whole thing). Are those your favorites?
Chico: Two hot guys with guitars. One of them will be in the final.
Gordon: I'm going to say they both will be. Because they are both in separate genres. One courts the rock vote, the other country
Chico: The race to the Nokia Theatre just became that much more interesting. I don't expect Jessica to be back in the bottom any time soon.
Gordon: Blah blah blah go vote blah blah blah
Chico: And I'm actually surprised that Randy would say that he hasn't seen anything like this before. Two words: Jennifer Hudson.
Gordon: Chris Daughtry, Tamyra Gray, LaToya London...
Chico: You lie so hard, Randy. And with that, let's go to Part 2 of Talent Showdown.... The Voice. This week, we had a guest performance by Jessie J, who happens to be a coach on "The Voice UK". Other than that, it was all about Adam's team and Cee-Lo's team.
Gordon: And I have to say, honestly, there's no surprises in either group's bottom 3.
Chico: Nope. Bottom three for Adam's team: Kim Yarbrough, Karla Davis, and Katrina Parker.
Gordon: So who's the person who gets to sing next week only to get eliminated?
Chico: But getting the save for Team Adam... Katrina. Meanwhile Kim was sweating on Spotlight and Karla ended up with a performance that should've been on the live show to begin with. As for Cee Lo's team, we have Tony Vincent, Cheesa, and Erin Martin. Tony went with the Marilyn Manson version of "Sweet Dreams"...
Gordon: Yucky.
Chico: Cheesa sang "All By Myself"
Gordon: Yuckier.
Chico: And Erin had "Your Song".
Gordon: Teriyucky.
Chico: Which was good... but not as good as Cheesa.
Gordon: Says you. Again, an early punt-off in the next round.
Chico: Next week is the quarterfinals. I got Mathai from Adam's team, Jordis from Blake's team (because Burnett wants it that way), Lindsey from Christina's team, and Jamar from Cee-Lo's team.
Gordon: I'm actually going to agree with you - which is scary, though I think we may disagree on who wins the whole thing
Chico: Hasn't failed to happen so far. And now for the finale of Talent Showdown... This was a rather eventful week on the dance floor.
Gordon: And we went from highest scores ever in te first week...to crap.
Chico: On the one hand, Melissa Gilbert gets escorted off the dance floor... into a waiting ambulance for a concussion. I think the highest score of this week was Donald Driver & Peta Heavenstomurgatroyd - a 27 out of 30. Good enough to knock favorite Katherine Jenkins off her high horse for the week.
Gordon: It is - but - of the 10 people who are still alive in the competition, less than half of them have had scores better this week than week 1, And now make it 9, as Sheeri Shepphrad was shown the gate.
Chico: The Newlywed Game host has an amicable divorce from the show. If I was Gladys Knight, I'd be the most concerned, as she had the lowest score this week. Melissa Gilbert was down there with her, but the events of this week are going to push more votes for Melissa than for Gladys.
Gordon: I agree with your thinking, though I'd like to add if William Levy , if he stays near the bottom, may have some issues.
Chico: For the love of god, Gordon... WHO!?
Gordon: ...exactly. Telenovela can only take you so far.
Chico: And that... is.. (thunder clapping)... TALENT SHOWDOWN. Next, a Showdown on the island... the mens vs. the womens.



Gordon: Not much of a showdown. I called it 2 weeks ago after Jonas got booted. The women are clearly in control of the game, and if the men didn't know it then, they know it now when supposed ringleader Jay got booted.
Chico: Now in all fairness, both Jay and Troyzan were targeted (here's a protip: if someone says you're not in danger, you're in danger) Troyzan knew this, so he decided to play his insurance marker. Now Troyzan's the leader, and he's going to rally the men to his cause, if he's smart.
Gordon: The problem is - he's not smart. At all. If he WAS smart, he would have wrangled some women for his cause. Now he needs to find the women outside of Kim's allioance to have any shot of staying in the game. My money's on him not finding it.
Chico: My money's on his behind getting nailed to the cross.
Gordon: Now that the women know his immunity idol is gone, he needs immunity in the challenge. If he doesn't get it, then Troyzan is going to be slain by Jane, so to speak,
Chico: Very clever.
Gordon: Thank you. That can't be said for most of the stalwart racers this week.



Chico: The good news... non-elimination leg. The bad news... the cat's out of the bag for Nary & Jaime And since they're bringing up the rear, expect them to be targeted.
Gordon: Well not completely out, but I expect it to go free soon. And I agree that they will be targeted
Chico: You can see the cat's head poke out of the bag. It's cute.
Gordon: As there's a Double U-Turn on the next lap, I expect Brandon and Rachel to be targeted along with them,
Chico: Wouldn't surprise me. After all, it's Brendon & Rachel. If they're going to lose the race, it'll be because they're a self-defeating team.
Chico: Always have been. Meanwhile Other Rachel & Army Dave win the leg and with it... a trip to Costa Rica.
Gordon: Very nice tri...ok, who put Eve in a travel case bag? The hamsters?
Chico: No, I did. I'm taking her with me to the vet. Awww... Eve looks so cute in that ba.. OWWWW. BAD KITTY! NO SCRATCHIE!
Gordon: You put her in a bag to go to the vet. What exactly did you expect she was going to do?
Chico: I don't know. Sleep?
Gordon: (stares at Chico)
Chico: Guess that would be too much, would it?
Gordon: Sigh.
Chico: (loads Eve into her Choppler compartment)
Gordon: You're lucky she didn't gouge your eyes out.
Chico: Guess so. Let's DO THE NEWS!
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage
Chico: ... Please and thank you.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. First thing's first... I need the Yankees bat.
Gordon: (Gives Chico the bat)
Chico: I put a lot of green LEDs on it for a lot of green lights.
Gordon: Look purrty - almost Christmas in April

RuPaul's Drag Race, Hell's Kitchen, and The Substitute all earn new seasons. No date for the Drag Race or Hell's Kitchen's 11th and 12th season... but, in a prelude to the Calendar this week... The Substitute begins season 2 MONDAY.

Chico: There is ONE more greenlight, and I think it's a big one...

The pilot for The Chase... team of challengers versus one iron trivia expert.

Chico: You may like it, you may hate it. But you better love it, because it's going down, my friends. Here's a Casting Couch link: TheChaseCasting.com
Gordon: Sort of remiinds me of Ken Jennings Vs. The World
Chico: Yeah, sorta. Only a lot quicker. But yeah, it's a favorite around here.. and I personally lobbied Jason to call ITVSA about being a Chaser.
Gordon: It's a favorite of mine, definitely. Note top networks: PLEASE do NOT screw this up. Here's a quick Date Book for you

In addition to The Substitute on Monday, Friday April 20th has Season 4 of The SInging Bee.

Gordon: Both shows are worthy of checking out.
Chico: Very much so. Now let's get loaded... for a good cause.

24 Hour Game Show Marathon for American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. It starts Friday, April 27 at 3p ET and continues for 24 hours. A donation of $10 gets you to play games over Skype. The event will stream over WSINRadio.org and UStream.TV (keyword: WSINRadio). Note of disclosure, one of the event organizers is a former GSNN contributor.

Gordon: It's for a worthy cause, so please go out there and contribute.
Chico: Using your talents and your hobbies for the greater good. Always a good thing. I've already given my $10.
Gordon: Are you going to play?
Chico: Probably not. I have to work that weekend. :-( But you should. Donations can be made online at WSINRadio.org OR you can hit up the page on Facebook: 24 Hour Game Show Marathon, is the keyword. We'll link it from our Twitter @wltiongsnn.
Gordon: That is a good thing. This... is a bad thing. (Wheels in Smartboard)
Chico: "That's not a remote, that's an ice cream sandwich"
Gordon: Someone's been watching the new LMFAO / Lil' John video, have they?
Chico: Hey, I had to. :-)
Gordon: So we go from 'YEAH!' to 'NO!"

Are YOU Smarter than...Lisa Lampanelli, who after the whole Ozzie Guillen mess in Florida, decided to call her fellow (and former) ex-Apprentice Teammate Dayana Mendoza something that fills the blank of ____ and Span. This from E Online: "I would actually love to see [Dayana] giving birth. She's a spi(bleep)!" Lampanelli said on Sirius XM last week. "She's going to do it (bleep)ing soon anyway. She'll be knocked up before the end of the week."

Chico: Now here's the thing... You know who Lisa Lampanelli is. You know what you're signing up for. On the other hand, Lisa knows what SHE'S singing up for.
Gordon: Lisa can be Lisa without getting personal. That crosses the line and I think could affect her in terms of her gigs.
Chico: I think so.
Gordon: I don't think she should be playing in Miami anytime in her future.
Chico: And in a competition for charity? Good luck in South Florida.
Gordon: Exactly. If she goes down there, she may be looking like this...



We start with a Love Zombie. Adam Levine's 2 year relationship is now bye bye. Anne Vyalitsyna ended it after claiming that Adam didn't give her enough attention.

Chico: He had to remember the golden rule. Even with a hit TV series and a band... you listen. To. the woman. Now she gets to be Gordon's woman. =p
Gordon: She's in NYC. I'm available. Call me.
Chico: what WHAT.
Gordon: Want to know something else that was quick?
Chico: Dancing with the Stars on GSN?
Gordon: That would be Dancing With the Stars time on GSN. Game Show Network just spent 7 MILLION dollars on 12 seasons worth of shows which lasted...less than 4 months. OUCH.
Chico: Not even four months.
Gordon: Whoever decided that was a good idea should start writing up their resume.
Chico: ... TOLD YOU IT WOULDN'T WORK.
Gordon: That would be from all of us at GameShowNewsNet by the way.
Chico: Now GSN has to go back and rethink this whole shiny floors vs. real life games thing. (plays the Hives' "Hate to Say I Told You So")
Gordon: What's so bad about shiny floors?
Chico: Nothing! I like shiny floors! The shinier the better!
Gordon: Shiny floors, if executed the right way, can make you gobs of cash. The problem isn't that people don't like shiny floors. The problem is that you can't execute a good shiny floor game.
Chico: And you haven't been able to do so since Bob left.
Gordon: Again, I'm available. Call me.
Gordon: And then go global - which is good for shiny floor games.
Chico: What about shiny floors that fall from under the contestant?
Gordon: Ouch.

NBC and Armoza Formats have signed China up for "Who's Still Standing." giving new meaning to the phrase "a hole that goes all the way to China".

Gordon: Does that mean they've given up on the US version?
Chico: Not necessarily.
Gordon: They should.
Chico: Now the US version wasn't bad. it just wasn't produced well. And I blame the whole crank-out-self-contained-episodes-and-edit-them-to-death 2010s way of producing game shwos for that.
Gordon: It's a generic quizzer that with some forethought, could have been a lot better.
Chico: Really could've been.
Gordon: But instead, we have to settle for media hoes falling through holes.
Chico: (plays "Look Out Below")

In this week's Media Ho Report, Merv Griffin's 7 million dollar estate is for sale, Bob Eubanks speaks st a sponsorship dinner, Yul Kwon (Survivor) has a new show called 'America Revealed'...The X-Factor is extending to online auditions, Carol Vorderman fronts a 'revolution'-ary pilot, Britney Spears is THIS CLOSE to singing with X-Factor...

Chico: How close?
Gordon: (holds arms out) THIS close.
Chico: Ah.

Melissa Gilbert is back at Dancing Rehearsals, Jillian Harris says thanks but no thanks to Harry Styles, and Howard Stern claims he's the 'Gold Factor' in judging America's Got Talent.

Gordon: Based on the other 2 judges, I don't disagree with him.
Chico: And based on witness accounts, I wouldn't either. But who is the biggest ho of them all this week?
Gordon: So let's say that you get a whole banquet in your honor for your birthday, you get a white pickup truck, and you get $10,000 a month for spending money.
Chico: I'd call that a party.
Gordon: You would be Casper Smart, who gets that for his 25th birthday by being the new boyfriend of...J-Lo.
Chico: Dude. American Idol MONEY!
Gordon: Hey J-Lo, if that whole Casper thing doesn't work out, I'm available. Call me.
Chico: Or Chico. :)
Gordon: Or Chico. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Okay. let's go to a break. Shut it down, Brobot.
Brobot: Beep...beep...LSI...Shamen...(SHUTS DOWN)
Chico: Still to come on the program... Stuff! You can buy! But first, Gordon?
Gordon: First, we gove over programming moves - or lack of them. you're reading WLTI. you give us 22 minutes, and well give you 22 reality shows more engaging than anything new GSN is putting on the air. Like the national lint licking competition.
Chico: Ick.

(Brainvision is presented by 48,880,800 Minutes. The main story: the industrious life and career of Mike Wallace. We'll miss you...)

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