Episode 29.17 - Shut Your Mouth, Hollie
May 14

Gordon: I'd watch.
Chico: ... because he was in IG2. The direct-to-video sequel. Welcome back to WLTI. Thanks for being a part of our weekend and allowing us to be a part of yours. Now we're going to go on a pre-summer, summer vacation. If that makes any sense.
Gordon: It does, and I want to go island hopping. I want to go to the island of Sternlandia.
Chico: Love it. Now we need neighbors. Neighbors.... we want to leave there. Who's first?
Gordon: Here's what's first...

Howie Mandel or Sharon Osbourne, Both people, according to newspaper reports, are insanely jealous of Howard. Who do we send over there?

Chico: Howie. It's getting old, his ideas.
Gordon: Well not only that but there's no Piers to save us, so send Howie to Howieland.
Chico: Bye Howie. Next...

Drew Carey and Steve Harvey. We've been waiting a good long while for them to strike Daytime emmy gold. We'll be waiting a while longer still. Who'll wait on the Island?

Gordon: Drew Carey. He may be there forever. Steve Harvey will get up there. What are the game show nominees?
Chico: Glad you asked. Cash Cab, Let's Make a Deal, Wheel, Jeopardy!, Millionaire, and in a shocker... Nick's BrainSurge.
Gordon: Nice.
Chico: So send Drew and give him a tape of the nominees so that he can learn.
Not that he's bad right now. He's better, but against Brady, Bailey, Newton and Vieira? No contest. Next?
Gordon: Next one....

Brendan and Rachel or Ralph and Vanessa. It's the battle of the whiners!

Chico: Brenchel. And if I ever see them on my TV again, I'm holding you personally responsible.
Gordon: Sure. Blame me for everything,.
Chico: Heh.
Gordon: I'll send them over, because we always need to give them more press. Next one?
Chico: Next one...

We're at the "Just Pick One" phase of the game. Tarzan or Troyzan. Just pick one.

Gordon: Troyzan. At least Tarzan had some brains in his head near the end of the game
Chico: Agreed. Troyzan played like an idiot. Perhaps of the highest caliber. So he's in. Next?
Gordon: Next one...

NBC or the CBC. The CBC gets rid of Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. NBC gets rid of the Biggest Loser and almost all of its good programming.

Chico: CBC. Sorry, but it takes about 10 Minute to Win Its to equal one Jeopardy!.
Gordon: I would agree here. NBC needs a lot more help than The Biggest Loser.
Chico: And who can wait until midseason anyway?
Gordon: NBC can't
Chico: They need help. Hence AGT on a season Monday. Finally...

At least 18 big Brother staffers who defected to ABC for Glass House or ABC? Do you punish the cart or the horse?

Gordon: I punish the horse. ABC should know better, The staffers are only trying to make a living, I can only hope they have enough 'new' so they keep their livelihoods.
Chico: Ditto. So now Gordon... try and make sense of all this mess.

It's Apprentice Vs Apprentice on the Island of Sternlandia! ABC features captain Drew Carey as he tries to make Brenchel into comedians. Over on CBC, Canadian Howie Mandel puts Troyzan through the paces in a hidden comedy show! And we do this all for you! Special singing performance by Jermaine Steewart and Javier Colon, because they need work too.

Chico: YES!
Gordon: And eerily enough, it all fits.
Chico: I throw the ball, you knock out a homer.
Gordon: And then Chico will walk us into a break.
Chico: It's Trios on the other side. After this!

(Brought to you by The Chasers: Earth's Greatest Game Show Contestants... Six all stars assemble in the heart of Hollywood to save the game show industry from itself and maybe a really angry demi-god if they still have the time afterwards.)

Chico: You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss $10 goodbye. $12 if you spring for 3D.
Gordon: Starring AJ Benza, Scott Hostetler and Jason Block
Chico: And introducing as Nick Fury... me. Hee. While we're talking 3D, let's talk about more dimensions in threes. It's Trios. Starting with an easy one...

Michael Aspel, Liza Tarbuck, or Simon Mayo.

Chico: The question: These three are no Bob Holness, and if I said they were anywhere near Bill Cullen, I'd get my head ripped off. But who would end up being the second best host of the UK Blockbusters?
Gordon: SInce I don't have the option of Clive Andersonm I'll say Simion Mayo.
Chico: I'll go with Simon Mayo as well, but it's a DISTANT second place. No disrespect. Bob Holness is the thing.
Gordon: None taken. I'll put Clive as my write-in
Chico: There you go.
Gordon: Next one...

Carpentry, Pottery, Lawnscaping

Gordon: We've seen Top ____ shows on everything from movie make up to floral arranging. We haven't seen one on any of these 3 professions. Which one should get the next Bravo TV Treatment?
Chico: I'm going to go with Carpentry, because I can relate to it, even though there's more of an audience for pottery.
Gordon: With the Summer coming up, I think you could be really creative with lawnscaping, and you could add the other 2 elements into it. I'd go with that.
Chico: Sounds cool. Next..

Demi Lovato, Miley Cyrus, and Avril Lavigne.

Gordon: 2 Bud Lights, 1 Shirley Temple and a Daiquiri
Chico: Cute. Fox won't admit it, but Britney Spears is a done deal for X Factor. Which one of these pop tarts joins her?
Gordon: The troubled singer that joins her I think is Demi. She's very different than Britney and I think she'll be a good counter clash. Miley is too sickeningly sweet and Avril is too much on the loopy train with Miss Chaotic
Chico: You think so?
Gordon: I do
Chico: I think she's nuts, but not chaotic nuts. Still, she's out.
Chico: Miley is too much sideboob for 8pm. I think Demi joins.
Gordon: Avril is Almond Joy and I want Mounds. Demi's Mounds.
Chico: NEXT QUESTION!
Gordon: Next...

A dancing dog, a youth dance squad, a rapping crew.

Gordon: All of these things have won Britain's Got Talent, et al. If a non-singing act was to win America's Got Talent, which one would it be?
Chico: Dance squad. I think they're overdue. Still think dog kick ass, though.
Gordon: Ok, the Dog has no shot here, I'd actually go with the rapping crew, if they are good enough.
Chico: Sounds like they'd be right up the panel's alley.
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next one...

A Japanese game show, a British game show, or a remake of an American game show.

Chico: The question... Jeff Sutphen at his best. Where do we see it?
Gordon: Definitely not the British game show. I'll say Japanese and Brain Surge.
Chico: Good job. Though I can't wait to see the remake. I hear it's going to be something awesome.
Gordon: It should be. Last one...

His Belly, His height, His baldness.

Chico: Hey now...
Gordon: ...what?
Chico: ... No, go on...
Gordon: Someone a little insecure?
Chico: Just a little.
Gordon: Now I could say why aren't the Jeopardy Coordinators picking Chico Alexander to be on their show.
Chico: My height. I'm too short for television.
Gordon: But the question is....What will Howie Mandel use to market himself over Howard Stern?
Chico: I'm going to go with his baldness. Again, the OCDness. He wants perfection. Every time.
Gordon: He does. Maybe he'll like this break.
Chico: Okay. Here it comes!

(Brought to you by The Bald and the Beautiful, Howie Mandel is going to find the most beautiful bald person in America. Is your chrome dome worth cold hard cash?)

Chico: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe.
Gordon: Nice, Before we start the Speed Round, I'd like to say something.
Chico: Stage is yours.
Gordon: one of my favorite sites on the web is Reality News Online. After 12 years of reality show coverage, it's shuttering it's doors. I just wanted to say that RNO was one of my favorite sites on the web and I will miss David Bloomberg and all of the other writers there throughout the years. You guys did a heck of a great job.
Chico: *applause*
Gordon: Big Finish starts....now! Idol: Who will not make the finals?
Chico: I'm calling Phil in an upset.
Gordon: Ok Jason Block. I'm calling Joshua in a not so upset. DWTS: Who'll be watching the finals from home?
Chico: William Levy.
Gordon: That one I'll agree with. Jeopardy this Week: Will we get our dumb answer of the week from there?
Chico: I have a feeling you're going to get it on MONDAY.
Gordon: We shall see. Any email?
Chico: Nope, but you can change that by mailing us, wlti@gameshownewsnet.com or if you want to hit us up on Twitter, we're @wltiongsnn.
Chico: It's FUN.
Gordon: As are we. That ends the show. Special thanks to no one in particular, as it was just the 2 of us this week.
Chico: Next week, which DC power player should've stuck to their day job, saying nothing loudly? PLUS... the Howard Stern era of AGT begins, and two people are singing for a title.
Gordon: We deal with Power Players, Penultimate episodes, and other things that begin with the letter P.
Chico: I'll have a P, please, Gordon.
Gordon: P for Peace out - and Game Over - and Spread the Love