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May 7, 2007
 Chico: It's on the PS2, right?
Gordon: It is on the PS2
Chico: Woo-hoo! Okay, we're back... and it's time for the doctor... me... to
answer all of your probing game show related ethical quandaries.
Gordon: I have some letters for you. Is the papaya hat nice and snug?
Chico: Very nice. Very snug.
Gordon: Very good. I have the first letter right here.
Dear Dr. Chico...I am an ex NFL player who's bored, so I am one of the contestants on Pirate
Masters. Unlike Gary Hogeboom, I am a pretty well-known player. Will my status
help me or hinder me?
Signed, Christian
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Chico: Well, NFL stars have had a checkered past on reality TV. We have
Gary... whose identity was divulged only by a fangirl... and then there's Jesse
Palmer the Bachelor... the less said about him the better. So the lesson here...
play the game as a player, not as a former NFL player, and just go with your
gut. It'll take you where you need to go.
Gordon: And he's got a pretty big gut.
Chico: Mm-hmm. After all, it got you that lucrative deal after college,
didn't it?
Gordon: Sure did.
Chico: Next?
Gordon: next one...
Dear Dr. Chico -
Little Charlie wants to be on the 5th grader show as a 5th grader, but he
doesn't have a SAG Acting card. Should I even bother taking him to the
auditions?
Is there anything I can do to combat this?
Signed, Anxious parent
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Chico: You know what? I've often preached that anything is possible if you
put your mind to it... and I'm going to do it here too. Remember that old
saying, it's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in
the
dog? That applies. Why wouldn't they hold open casting if they didn't want at
least one kid from the street in the class? You think your kid has the stuff,
you go to Fox.com, you fill out the application, you tape your kid in action,
you go down to the open call, and you FIGHT LIKE HELL. And if you're
exhausted afterwards, it just means you did a good job.
Gordon: Thanks for the inspiring speech, General Patton. Now let's wake up.
Does the kid actually have a shot?
Chico: He's got as good a shot as anyone. I'm not saying it's going to be as
easy as all that, but come on, let's be real. If he believes he has a shot,
then he's got a shot. And, you know, it doesn't really matter at this point. If
Fox sees potential, they'll snatch him up. Call it 5th Grade Idol.
Gordon: We'll see. Next one...
Dear Dr. Chico -
My town hates me, and I don't know why. They have cast me aside like a ship
sailing in the night. I don't even get my own day. What do I need to do to get
into good graces with my hometown of Federal Way, Washington?
Signed, Sanjaya
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Chico: Well, getting a stylist who gives a damn wouldn't hurt.
Gordon: You didn't like the Cock-a-doodle-do?
Chico: You liked the cock-a-doodle-do?
Gordon: No, but I'm not the doctor
Chico: But seriously, Sanjaya... some things you just can't change. I bet
there've been famous people from Federal Way to come down the pike... Off the
top
of my head I can't remember any, but the law is the law and there's nothing
really you can do about it. Besides, if all your attention amounts to "Where's
my parade?", then you entered the American Idol for the wrong reasons, and you
should go home and rethink your life.
Gordon: Fair enough - but I think he's got a nice life ahead of him
Chico: True dat.
Gordon: Next one...
Dear Dr. Chico -
Yes, I know I played it all the way through for charity, but rate my Deal Or
No Deal skills. I'm not the worst celebrity player, am I?
Signed, Oprah
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Chico: Of course not! Two words, O... Can I call you O? Two words,
O...Regis...Philbin...But I can't really assess your skills as a celebrity DoND
player... because you're probably the only one to be.
Gordon: I don't know. Celine Dion and Brett Favre and even The Donald were
pretty good advice givers
Chico: But as a regular DoND player... You should've taken the deal. The risk
was just too big and the reward was too small.
Gordon: True. But now she knows why its so hard to stop on the show. Next
one...
Dear Dr. Chico -
I dont need advice. I need some marketing skillz. Whats the best name for my
new video coming out?
Signed, Toastee
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Chico: Toasted. Next?
Gordon: You buying the movie?
Chico: Why have porn when I have a woman?
Gordon: Oh - The doc has got a new nurse?
Chico: Hello nurse =p Next letter?
Gordon: Last one...
Dear Dr. Chico -
I want to find true love after The Bachelor and I want to make this
relationship work and last. I have found true love. Please show me the way.
Signed, Andy Baldwin
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Chico: I quote Wesley Snipes: "Listen to the woman." That failing, whatever
you do, don't put yourself too much out there in the media. Learn from the
mistakes of other bachelors
Gordon: We've gone from Cinco De Mayo to Love Connection.
Chico: Don't look at me. I'm just the Doc.
Gordon: And that's all the mail we have for this week
Chico: We'll take two-and-two so we can pay for the Big Finish.
Gordon: We'll get to YOUR mail - after this
(Brought to you by Horse or No Horse. Don't forget that
as we start the Triple Crown, to bet with your head and not over it, as for
today's fine steeds will be tomorrow's main courses on the Grizzlebees Menu)
Chico: you'llwishyouhadlessfun. Okay, not much time left, so we're going to
the Speed Round known as... the Big Finish!
Gordon: Dancing With The Stars - we're down to 5. Who leaves now?
Chico: Well, now that John is gone (awwww...) We have Ian, Apolo, Laila,
Joey, and... Billy Ray. Let's get rid of Billy Ray, kay?
Gordon: MmKay.
Chico: Okay, we've picked Eric & Danielle to win the Race. Are we sticking by
that?
Gordon: Of course we are sticking by them. What about Idol - whos leaving
this week?
Chico: As for Idol... we said Melinda's going round of 4... I'm sticking by
that. You?
Gordon: I'll say Lakisha. What if the upset was...there was no upsets?
Chico: I think there'll be an upset. For the first time in quite a while, we
have a top four everyone likes.
Gordon: It could be upsetting. but we are never upset by opuir mail
Chico: And we thank everyone who writes for sticking by us.
Gordon: We start With Louise O'Hara. Thanks, Louise!
TO: WLTI
FROM: Louise O'Hara
Can you please tell if Identity is coming back and also if 1 vs. 100 coming
back? Please let me know, as me and my husband really like game shows. Thank
you.
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Chico: Thanks, Louise. We don't know if Identity and/or 1 vs. 100 is coming
back, but anything is possible in the NBC 2.0 universe.
Gordon: I would think they will be coming back, maybe in a few short weeks.
Chico: We won't know ANYTHING for sure until a couple of weeks time when they
have their upfront presentation when they release the fall schedules.
Gordon: True. Thanks for the letter though. Next letter?
Chico: Next email is from...Josh Johanssen. Thanks, Jake
TO: WLTI
FROM: Josh Johanssen
Not to dwell on a subject (no pun intended), but "5th Grader" last week
(April 26) had a question within that had me asking one question... "In what school district in these United States is a
question asking about John Adams' role in the trial on the Boston Massacre a 5th
grade question?!"
The question in question was supposedly a 5th Grade U.S. History question.
Not to offend the show, but that question sounded less like a question for that
show, and more like a question for the game of Millionaire. And I believe
it's kind of a bad sign when NONE of the 5th graders knew the answer, even with
the help they get before the show. Anyway...can you identify any school district
where that question is a 5th grade question? Because I sure don't remember
learning that in 5th grade... Thanks.Can you please tell if Identity is coming back and also if 1 vs. 100 coming
back? Please let me know, as me and my husband really like game shows. Thank
you.
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Chico: Fort Huachuca (AZ) Accomodation Schools.
Gordon: What is that?
Chico: ... That's where I went to school for 5th Grade. That's when I
learned about the Boston Massacre. So me, coming from that, I think it is a
valid
question. One of the things I'll remember from that year. That course was a
ballbuster.
Gordon: I see. I have another letter, this one from our good UK friend David
Howell. Thanks, David!
TO: WLTI
FROM: David Howell
Regarding Set For Life......the episodes are already in the can, and I was at
one taping (my first one, yay!), and......I wouldn't get your hopes up.
Rules: a couple is bought onto stage, and after the obligatory introductory
interview, they pick one of three envelopes which contain three different
predetermined amounts between £100 and £200 (there is seemingly no rhyme or
reason
as to what these are, which just looks WRONG, but there seems to be one within
the range £130-£165 and one either side of that from what I recall), and
that's their base amount for round one, which I'll refer to as x.
There are eleven 'lights' - literally silver torch-type affairs in a matching
stand to conceal it, organised haphazardly on a circular raised stage area.
Eight are white, three are red. One player picks the numbers, the other picks
up the lights (which can be, and are, waved around enthusiastically, the best
bit of the show). In every game I saw, the man picked the numbers. Make of this
what you will. Anyway, pick a white and you gain x, pick a red and you lose x
(unless you're on zero anyway, you can't go negative), hit all three reds and
you go home with nothing. Once you get to 4x you can quit at any point (this
is a mutual decision, but the number-picker has the final say); Nicky Campbell
seems to casually dismiss the mere thought though, which was by far my
biggest bugbear with him (the only other complaint I had was that he didn't
always
keep the game moving, but that may have been too apparent in recording, and
it's probably Endemol to blame for this. And possibly the emphasis on gambling,
if UK DoND is any guide...). The money earned in round 1, if anything, is your
monthly payment.
I can't speak properly for the second round, because none of the games I saw
made it there. That's not a spoiler, because the shows are being put together
from multiple recordings - and, incredibly, not straddling, so anyone who
starts their game after the final commercial break will win nothing. However, I
do
know that you climb up a money tree (the cornily named 'Time Ladder')
determining how long the monthly payment will continue; I gather one player is
kept
in an isolation booth while the other is on stage, both make decisions and the
first bailout counts, but obviously the hidden player's decisions remain
unknown.
The show's being burned off here in a 3pm slot, which I can only presume is
to avoid competition from DoND (understandable, they're both Endemol shows) and
Weakest Link (which incredibly is now sometimes beating DoND in the ratings
even in reruns...), and I think it'll be a failure - but I'm not certain. It
might work out, and it may work better in the US - host neutrality won't be an
issue for a start, and the emphasis on couples might be used well - but I'm
predicting dismissal as a DoND clone.
Incidentally, Show Me The Money was never a really big international hit. I
think the only country with a version pre-Shatner was Italy, and they had a
notably different version with no trivia. The UK version that actually never got
aired - from what I've heard about the pilot, I'd have to call budget issues
as the reason - was like the Italian version but with trivia shoehorned into
round two, and that ruleset would have worked better in the US than the actual
ABC version.
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Gordon: Thanks David. Thoughts?
Chico: Ditto, ditto, ditto. I'm guessing ABC saw this and the failure of
Show Me the Money and thought... you know... I think we're good. Then comes
National Bingo Night, so get from that what you will.
Gordon: I don't know about either Bingo night or Set For Life. I guess we
have to wait to see it unfold. We end the show with our stat-boy, Mr. Jason
Wuthrich.
Chico: Wuthrich mail!
TO: WLTI
FROM: Jason Wuthrich
I tried to imagine "Someone else" hosting TPiR, after that announcer poll on
CBS.com a few years ago listed "I haven't heard him yet" as an option. Sounds
like a host-announcer combo I'd trade to Fox for "Future considerations." :-)
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Chico: ... okay. That's certainly an idea.
Gordon: I would do it if it means we avoid certain hosts again
Chico: JD Roberto making you sour again?
Gordon: wWho me?
Chico: heh...Okay, we're out of beer and the burros are starting to stink up
the place... so I think we're going to call it a day.
Gordon: Remember the e-mail address:
wlti@gameshownewsnet.com
Chico: Jason Block, wherever you are, thanks for hanging out.
Gordon: Thanks to Jason, and thanks to you, the audience for reading
Chico: Be back for more next week. I'm Chico. He's Gordon. The show is We
Love to Interrupt. Game over and what?
Gordon: Spread the Booze!
Chico: Remember.. Drinking plus driving equals game over... *falls over*.... I'm okay
Gordon: Happy Cinco De Mayo, everybody!
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