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Today is

Way Too Scary For Me - October 13

Today is Friday the 13th. Ooooooohhhh. Aaaaaaah. Last year at this time, I did a movie review for the reality horror movie 'The Scorned' and I found that it wasn't that scary. What was much scarier was to see a Bai Ling performance on But Can They Sing. So with that thought in mind, and with tongue firmly planted in cheek, it's time to talk about some of the scarier things that have happened so far this season...

Tyra Banks as a Diva, America's Next Top Model - It was great to see Tyra Banks back, and her impression of a Diva was hysterically funny on the first episode. Her 'evil' face would scare me if that's what answered the door while Trick or Treating.

Hans going over the cliff, The Price is Right - There are some pricing games that are ridiculously easy if you've seen them before on The Price is Right. Hit Me, Ten Chances (The last number is ALWAYS a zero) and Cliffhangers. Make the three prices 25, 35, 45, and you will almost always win. What do we get instead? 50 for the first guess, and 55 for the second guess - and we don't even get a third guess. Hans goes flying over the cliff as he decides to dress up this year as buzzard chow.

Brigitte Nielsen, Midnight Money Madness - She wasn't scary as frightening, or even bad-scary. She reminds me of the new mistress of late-night, if she gives it a chance. She could be someone like...oh I don't know...Elvira?

Cheech Marin, Celebrity Duets - In every talent show, there always seems to be one underdog singer who just doesn't belong. The trend started with Nikki McKibbin and has moved to the celebrity shows, where Bai Ling took the stage. This year's version? Cheech Marin, who decided to be Leatherface and butcher almost every song he performed.

Call-in Contestants, Midnight Money Madness, Playmania, Et Al. - When you're watching a show at 1:30 am, does it feel like you're a zombie? Apparently, you're not alone, as we get callers who insist on repeating wrong answers (maybe in the hope that when they say it, they will be right) or saying ridiculous answers that won't be remotely correct. This show is perfect if you want that 'Night of the Living Dead' feel.

Fat Joe on Wild 'N Out - He acted like he was on Mars and it seemed like he didn't know where he was. Is it just me, or did it look like Fat Joe, before appearing on Wild 'N Out, attended a Paris Hilton Girls Gone Wild party before-hand?

$196,000 down the toilet, Deal or No Deal - Amounts have been lost before, but usually, even when you lose over $100,000, you've dealt for something decent. not this time, as the contestant tried to press her luck with $300, $750 and $500,000 left...and found the $500,000 in a suitcase that wasn't hers. She winds up with $750, but at least that's more than enough for a bald cap to dress up like Howie Mandel. Frightening, indeed.

Clay Aiken's hairdo - Now you know that I am a Clay Aiken fan, and although I may not enjoy his music as much as Clay Nation, I will stick up for him and defend him with the situation that he is dealing with right now. That being said, with that hair cut, he looked like he was going to a Rocky Horror Picture Show party dressed up as one of the creatures of the night.

Flava Flav as...'The sexiest person alive'???? - Until Saw 3 comes out, This is probably by far the scariest thing out there right now. According to the aforementioned Tyra Banks, Flava Flav is the sexiest person around. That alone would be scary enough, but what's scarier is that the producers could easily find 20 women who will fight, spit, and defecate in the hopes of making Flava Flav their man. Yikes.

GSNN at TPIR, October 5, 2006 - The most twisted horrifying images may have come on that day, when the whole lot of us appeared on your television set. Urban Legend has even suggested that the sight of us has caused some television sets to crack. EEEEK!!!!!

So that's 10 scary things that I have seen so far this year. Join us next week to see some more treats...though if you know me, you should be prepared for a trick or two...

If you see Gordon Pepper dressed as Tyra Banks this Halloween, do yourself a favor... give him all of your horror DVDs and run. E-mail him at


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