Gouge My Eyes Out
NIGHT 33: HELL TRULY FREEZES OVER...
...because Abi-Maria actually
THANKS the others for keeping her around. She doesn't know if Lisa,
Denise, Michael and Malcolm believed her shlock about the "Fourth
Hidden Immunity Idol"...but she's grateful nonetheless that
they let Carter take the bullet for her. Not all are happy about
it, though. Lisa (naturally) feels bad that such a good man had
to go. But if she had a choice to bring back someone she LIKED and
someone she could BEAT...she'd go for someone she could beat. Malcolm
realizes that now Lisa is playing the game...and that is making
her dangerous...especially to HIM.
DAY 34: BUY OR SELL?
Abi announces (like she
always does) that she's going into the woods. As soon as she disappears,
the other four talk about her and her so-called 3I. Malcolm had
already guessed that she DIDN'T have one because she never revealed
it the previous night when there was a LOT of pressure on her...not
to mention she was relieved that she wasn't voted out. Abi knows
of only one person who is not going home on Night 36: Malcolm, who
has an ACTUAL 3I. She also knows of who needs to go home if the
Immunity Necklace doesn't come their way: Denise. AND she knows
who she needs to lean on to make that happen: Lisa.
So, while the boys and
Denise head off, Abi tells Lisa to watch out for them since Lisa
is STILL on the bottom of that alliance. Lisa listens...but she
doesn't believe her. Still, it would be profitable to keep her close,
no matter when or if she stays all the way. She intends to use Abi
for her own advancement in the game. And if that means keeping HER
and dicthing Denise...well, we'll see.
REWARD CHALLENGE: SLIDERS
Challenge Beach and Uncle
Jeff await that last of the Dangrayne Tribe. Uncle Jeff describes
the final Reward Challenge of this game:
You race up and over a
slide and then into the water to collect a bundle of rings. Haul
it back to the mat and go up and over for the other one. Once you
have all five rings, you play "ring toss" with them and
get one on each of five pegs. First to get that right wins a helicopter
ride to a boat for some whale-shark watching and a pizza dinner.
AND, unlike other Challenges, Uncle Jeff tells them right off that
two others of the winner's choosing will join said winner on this
Reward. They draw for spots...and they get ready.
The men take the lead
over the slide and after they grab the rings. Denise and Abi follow...and
Lisa has trouble with the knots and lags behind. Michael gets the
second bundle quickly, with Malcolm a few seconds behind. Denise
is in third, Abi in fourth...while Lisa still smiles as she works
on the second bundle.
Michael gets the first
ring on a peg but has to collect the other four. Malcolm does the
same, but Michael charges ahead by getting his second and third
rings on before Lisa even returns with her rings to start tossing.
Malcolm gets his second...and Michael gets his fourth! The ladies...no
luck so far. Michael JUST misses the last one when Lisa and Denise
get their first. Then Malcolm gets HIS fourth! Near miss by Michael...near
miss by Malcolm...RINGER! SKUPIN WINS REWARD!!
on a helicopter...and, this time, he's NOT leaving the game! But...who
will join him? Michael repays Malcolm for the LAST Reward by taking
him. And the lady joining in this sausage-fest...will be Lisa. Abi
and Denise haul back to Dangrayne Beach themselves with nada. But,
as they leave, Abi DOES give Michael something to chew on besides
pizza crust: "I guess my vote doesn't mean anything."
AFTERNOON 34 - WINNERS: DIGESTING
Everyone seemed to get
what they wanted out of the auction. While most had fuller bellies
than this morning, Abi did what she set out to do: got something
to get her ahead. So while everyone was happily talking about what
happened,...Abi opens her Brazilian gob as she and Jonathan get
into a "conversation" about what was said last night AND
at the Auction. Abi wants an apology, Jonathan wants her to be less
blunt, Abi apologizes for being truthful, Jonathan apologizes that
it was her turn to get slammed...and so forth. This is actually
just fine for Jonathan because, to paraphrase him, "the bigger
b*tch she is, the better he looks to the rest of the tribe".
The two rivals hug (doubtful EITHER means it) and Abi still trusts
no one...thinking the "advantage" is all that's making
everyone speak to her in a friendly way now.
AFTERNOON 34 - LOSERS: TWO
GIRLS, ONE "ULP!"
of which, Abi goes off by herself and opens the scroll...and it
reads as follows:
ROUND IN THIS CHALLENGE.
A ONE-IN-THREE SHOT
Well, now...that's always good. Of course, she's going to tell the
tribe whatever she has to to break their alliance against her.
DAY 29: TO TELL THE TRUTH...NOT!
Bright and early (once
all that food finally settles), Abi woke up early with the mindset
that, if she's gonna go down, she'll go down swinging...and lying!
She hides the "advantage" and marches back to camp to
see everyone else talking about staying unified against her. Her
first attempt at deception is with Malcom and she tells him she
doesn't think she'll be heading home at the next Tribal. Malcolm,
of course, doesn't believe her for an instant, comparing her to
a spurned girlfriend. Abi says that "advantage" was a
clue to a fourth 3I...and she HAS it! She essentially tells Malcolm
that the tribe will HAVE to kick someone else out now. Whether Malcolm
believes THAT or not, who knows?
DAY 30 - IMMUNITY CHALLENGE:
BRAINS AND BRAWN
lot of ropes and wood...and Uncle Jeff. Just like last time, this
is a three-part Challenge for the Immunity Necklace. First round
has everyone (except Abi) attached to a rope wound around a hitching
rail. Go up and down and over and out and get to the end. First
five through move on. Second round has everyone (save Abi) attached
to a DIFFERENT rope to go through a bamboo maze. First TWO through
move on. Final round has those two PLUS Abi each go through a multi-level
obstacle course. First one out of the course gets to chill while
the others sweat at the Pagoda of Doom. Oh...one more thing. Before
each round, Uncle Jeff will ask a question. Get the question wrong
and you will have 5% of your body weight attached to you while you
run the course. And it's CUMMULATIVE...meaning you could be lugging
15% of your weight through the obstacle course.
Abi tells the tribe that
her "advantage" was a two-parter...with the first part
being that she goes to the final round. She then tears the note
up, not wanting anyone to know what the second part was. Now,...Uncle
Jeff KNOWS she's lying her Sao Paolo ass off...but all he says is
for Abi to wait for the others to finish.
First round. Each player
has an "answer cube" in hand and Uncle Jeff reads the
The Philipines consist of how many islands?
A) About 50
B) About 500
C) More than 5000
Each player turns their
cube to what they think is the right answer...which is C) More
than 5000. All the men get it right so Lisa and Denise get weights.
As stated, they go up
and down and over and out, getting dizzy going around the hitching
post. Despite what can be assumed to be about five or six pounds
in a sacthel over her shoulder, Denise flies through the course
and finishes first. Carter comes from far behind to go second. Michael
and Malcolm are in third and fourth, leaving Lisa and Jonathan fighting
for the final spot. They're both just about neck-and-neck...but
the weight was just too much for Lia. Jonathan is the last to advance.
Second round. Next question...is
cut for time, apparently. But Denise, Michael and Carter missed.
Denise has 10%, Michael and Carter have 5%, Jonathan and Malcolm
just have to pull their OWN weight.
Much tighter spaces to
work through at times...and with ten-plus pounds on her back, even
the svelte Denise has problems. The men are worse off, especially
Michael who gets stuck. Jonathan powers through and is first out
of the maze. And Carter, looking for his second straight Immunity,
just BARELY beats out Denise. So it's Jonathan vs. Carter vs. Abi
in the triple-threat obstacle course match for Immunity!
Michael mutters to the
others that Abi can't climb and, thus, can't win this final round.
Question cut for time again, but Carter missed it so he's stuck
with 10% while Jonathan and Abi are running with just themselves.
No rope to navigate this
time. Just a Donkey Kong-esque wooden scaffold with ropes blocking
the way. They can't climb THROUGH the ropes, though; they're "gates"
which must be untied before moving on. Abi and Carter get through
the opening "gate" first. Abi doesn't seem to NEED climbing
skills as she tears through the gates, though Carter is just seconds
behind. Jonathan starts to lag a bit. Going into the second half,
Abi has a decent lead but Carter (despite about 30 pounds on his
shoulder) starts gaining on her. Even Jonathan cheers for Carter
as he continues to lag...but it's all for naught. With the best
$500 purchase she's ever made, ABI-MARIA WINS IMMUNITY!
Denise mutters, "I
wanna throw up," as Abi happily takes the Immunity Necklace.
The feeling seems to be mutual for the rest of the tribe...especially
AFTERNOON 30: WELL,...NOW
Malcolm says it best:
"Hell hath frozen over today." And, no, there's no condom
dispenser at the Vatican and the rich haven't said, "Tax the
@#$% out of us". Abi is safe from the wrath of the tribe. But,
in truth, Malcolm's HAPPY about this...because it means that Jonathan
- a REAL threat - can be ousted instead. Lisa's torn (natch) because
she doesn't want to HURT Jonathan. For the umpteenth time since
arriving, she claims the game is "too big for her". And,
of course, she makes the mistake of TELLING Jonathan. "Cut
the crap," he all-but-yells. "Really?!". He then
talks a walk with her to discuss this. She confesses her "dual
alliance", one with the returning Survivors, one with the others-minus-Abi.
Jonathan...does NOT take this well. And he's left wondering WTF
he's gonna do now?! Lisa suggests, "Go do your magic that you
do." After all, he swayed HER...maybe he can sway ANOTHER.
Jonthan decides his mistake
was not choosing a side...so his best bet now is to make enough
allies tout de suite to stay in the game. His first targets: Abi
and Carter. Abi's fine with voting for Denise with Jonathan...though
Carter stays quiet. He then talks to Michael about this, calling
him the "swing vote" this time. Michael's a little perturbed
that Lisa would go against their own alliance and vote for Jonathan...but
he's more concerned about how the vote will effect HIM in the long
run. He thinks he could beat Jonathan in the Final Three...but could
she ALSO beat Denise?
TRIBAL COUNCIL: WHO'S YOUR
RC, Artis, Jeff and Pete
file into the Jury Box to watch the mayhem. Uncle Jeff claims to
be Nostradamus, predicting last time that Abi could still rise above
the tribe's turning against her. Denise says they weren't "brutal"
towards Abi; they just couldn't tolerate her anymore. Jonathan says
that the original plan was ditching Abi but, without her to vote
for, "lines in the sand" emerged. He told about the alliance
of Malcolm, Denise, Lisa and Micahel...and Malcolm admited they
didn't trust Jonathan enough to have him join. He looks Lisa and
Michael in the eyes and plainly says, "Please don't vote me
Malcolm calls Jonathan's
talk a ploy to get Lisa to turn on him and Denise and knows Malcolm's
in Lisa's heart as well. Lisa admits she's about to hurt someone.
Then Jonathan goes on that keeping him in the game will help Lisa
and that kicking him out will "give the million to" Malcolm
or Denise. Lisa shuts him up, saying, "That's definitely part
of my consideration."
Uncle Jeff thinks it's
time to let the cat out of the bag and asks Lisa if this Council
has any paralells to her life in the past. Lisa isn't falling for
it; she says that it does but that it's too personal to tell WHEN.
Uncle Jeff asks how difficult it was and, after thinking and nodding
for a few seconds, she tearfully says, "Huge." She says
she might disappoint not only someone she cares about...but also
As for Michael, he'd like
to be friends with everyone post-game but, DURING the game, he's
out to win. He admits, though, there is validity to what Jonathan
It is time to vote! Seven
Dangrayne members march to the alcove. We see Abi voting for Denise
(still angry at Denise judging her) and Jonathan actually SHOUTING
his vote ("Denise") back at the Coucil area and getting
laughs out of everyone. Michael is last...and he thinks about it.
The tally, the request for 3Is, the silence afterwards, the reading
of the votes:
...and Michael's swing
PENNER! (thought at first
it must've been Lisa's given the heart around it)
The man who fought back
from an infection in his leg for a third chance at the million,
Jonathan Penner has been ushered to the Jury in yet another close
vote. He hugs Carter and wishes him luck...but he denies Abi a hug
as he brings his torch to Uncle Jeff to get snuffed. He marches
down the Walk of Shame with one last quip to the remaining players:
"Keep your sunny side up...and suck eggs!" The game is
up for grabs and Jonathan whistles he way to get cleaned up.
(Well, maybe he can try
once more. After all, it took Bahstin Rob four times to win.)
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