Down and Dirty (Tandang)
TO READ THE HAPPENINGS AT KALABAW
DAY 15: RICE, RICE, BABY...
Not much rice left for
our now-seven tribe. Mainly because Michael's been eating it dry
out of the bag. Pete thinks this is ridiculous and, as Michael is
useless, he needs to be shipped back home. Abi-Maria stops Michael
from doing this, even saying that they shouldn't even have something
before the next Challenge. Artis agrees with Pete in this respect,
saying it's "Tandang plus one" with Michael as the "one"
and that this returning player IS expendable to keep them from starving
to death out here.
REWARD CHALLENGE: BOG ROLL
Dawson was the one given
the heave-ho to give Kalabaw a two-person disadvantage. And we stand
beside a mosh pit with what almost looks like a giant rubber-band
ball in the middle and two goals at either end. The ball is actually
wooden and it is up to the Tribes - or, rather, three members of
each Tribe - to roll said ball through the muck and into their colored
goal. This is FULL-CONTACT, by the way; the Tribes can do EVERYTHING
they can to stop the opponent and/or get the defense out of the
way. First to three goals wins a lovely Reward: a dry hut on the
beach and all the sammiches, soup, potato chips and brownies they
could ever want after two weeks of near starvation. Tandang sits
out Artis and RC to even the tribes at three men and two women each
(yeah, I'm shocked, too, that Abi ain't sitting this out).
Round 1: Lisa, Pete and
Michael (TAN) vs. Denise, Carter and Jonathan (KAL). On "GO!"
the teams rush the ball, with Jonathan and Carter arriving first
and shoving. Carter tries to take down Jonathan...but Pete takes
down Carter first. Lisa and Denise wrestle (and I'm sure SOMEONE
out there is happy about this) with Lisa finally bringing Denise
down. The girls actually get RUN OVER by the ball as the men continue
to push. Carter finally manages to shake off Pete and get the ball
closer and closer...until Michael body-slams him. It is an ugly
mess...and it lasts a LONG time, the teams at an impasse after an
But, then, the two exhausted
"comebackers" meet like Reagan and Gorbachev on opposite
sides of the ball. And Michael offers a solution. Tandang will throw
this challenge and give Kalabaw the sandwichs and other goodies...IF
Kalabaw surrenders the rest of their rice. Uncle Jeff says he's
fine with this as long as the feeling is unanimous. Jonathan isn't
worried about not having rice, as long as they can fish. But Artis
is against this 100%, wanting to win and not wanting to give up
anything (especially on his birthday). Carter is OK with it as long
as Jonathan is SERIOUS about the fish. Artis finally just says to
Michael, "Do what you want." Abi is the same way. After
a few minutes, the deal is struck. KALABAW WINS...er, I mean,...TRADES
FOR REWARD! They get the hut and the good eatin', Tandang gets more
rice for Michael to eat raw!
(Gee...if only the NHL
owners and players could work it out this easy...)
Jeff says they'll work
hard to keep their bellies full. UNCLE Jeff send the red tribe on
their way and tells the yellow tribe that Kalabaw's rice will be
sent to their Tree-Mail later on.
AFTERNOON 15: CRAPPY BRITHDAY TO YOU...
Artis is STILL not happy
about the deal. Not just that they missed out on food (and, as it
turned out, letters from home) but that Michael, who has done jack-squat
for the Tribe, deemed to make decisions FOR the Tribe. He is so
angry now that he's fighting to keep his temper in check. And, when
the rice from Kalabaw DOES arrive,...it's hardly more than what
Tandang already HAS! Lisa thinks it COULD be interpreted as a "double
loss" since they actually gave up the Challenge. And Abi agrees,
saying this was a physical AND pshychological victory for Kalabaw.
But RC goes to Michael's
defense, saying that the Outback veteran did nothing wrong to earn
Artis' and Abi's ire. Michael says that he didn't make the decision
without consulting everyone else...and Artis and Abi essentially
abstained from the "vote", leaving the other five to agree
to it. RC's plan is to just play it cool while Abi makes like a
"Brazilian bomb" and blows up enough to make her being
on the Tribe intolerable.
DAY 16 - IMMUNITY CHALLENGE:
Just from the looks of
Challenge Cove, I think I can figure out what this Challenge will
be. And, when Uncle Jeff takes back the gull-shapped Tribal Immunity
Idol, I find out that I was absolutely right. One Tribe member launches
a ball from an Angry Birds-esque slingshot and the other four members
try to catch it with lacrosse-like nets. Catch a ball (regardless
of color)before it hits the ground, get a point. Get five points,
take the Idol back to your camp and chill out for a while longer.
This time, Abi DOES sit out along with Michael (who loses Roshambo
with Malcolm). The Tribes split as follows: Lisa/Denise are launchers
while Artis/Jonathan, Malcolm/Carter, Pete/Jeff and RC/Katie in
TWANG! The balls go up,
the balls go down...and Jonathan runs in to grab one before it hits.
Kalabaw leads 1-0. TWANG! This time Pete and RC get in front of
everyone and catch BOTH balls, giving Tandang a 2-1 lead!
TWANG! Katie and Carter
JUST miss them. No scoring. TWANG! Jonathan tries but Artis tosses
his net to keep him from getting it. But Jeff gets in front of Pete
to catch Lisa's ball, tying the score at 2.
TWANG! Jeff goes HIGH
and catches the ball like...well, like a Major League Baseball player
(whcih Kalabaw STILL doesn't know he is)! 3-2 Kalabaw. Uh, Katie..hand
on the pole before we can start...that's better. TWANG! Jeff catches
AGAIN! And RC and Katie miss. But it's Game Point for Kalabaw...and
a possible first-ever trip to Tribal Council for Tandang! "Go
for Malcolm," mutters Michael to Lisa.
TWANG! And, sure enough,
Lisa shoots right to Malcolm who catches it. Denise doesn't get
caught. Still 4-3, Kalabaw...but maybe a comeback?
TWANG! Denise aims for
Jeff...but Pete knocks it away! Lisa aims for Malcolm...and despite
Carter mugging him from behind, he ties the game up! Next one to
catch wins! Carter and Jeff swtich opponents on Jonathan's suggestion.
Up goes Denise's ball...
...down it comes...
...and Jonathan MISSES
by a hair!
Up goes Lisa's ball...
...down IT comes...
and MALCOLM leaps up over
Jeff to catch it! TANDANG WINS
MAN, it must suck being
in Kalabaw now. No rice, no fish...and, now, they'll be THREE members
down! So who's to blame THIS time? Well...
TO READ WHAT HAPPENED WITH KALABAW AT TRIBAL COUNCIL
view this episode in its entirety, along with extras and blogs,
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