November 29, 2004
Chico: In turn sponsored
by H&R Block and FedExKinko's.
Gordon: We are back and joined by Jason Hernandez - and
it's time to do some Roleplay. You all know how this
works. We give you a person and you have to act him - or
her - or it - out. You all ready?
Chico: Let's go.
Chico: Ryan, you're
.Dave Coulier. Your America's Most
Talented Kids just got reupped for another cycle. How do
Ryan: Hmm... hold on a second... I go cash my PAX-level
pay cheque, thank someone that people still remember
Full House for reasons besides the Olsen twins, and
pitch America's Funniest People to PAX.
Ryan: Exposure! It's all about the exposure!
Chico: You forgot one thing... You appeal to VH1 for
another appearance in the Surreal Life.
Gordon: I wouldn't appeal to be on The Surreal Life.
Joe: I for one would go on VH1 and make fun of Flava
Flav for hooking up with Brigitte Nielsen.
Ryan: As a Canadian, I claim ignorance because I don't
get VH1 :-)
Joe: Be happy you don't Ryan.
Rob: If that did come to pass, who would you hire to be
Ryan: For America's Funniest, Robert?
Joe: Alanis Morisette?
Ryan: Elaine Boosler, lol :-)
Tim: But don't forget to call Alanis Morisette and tell
her "See, I'm not a loser!"
Chico: Okeydoke. Pepper, next one, please.
Gordon: Joe, you are.....
Joe: ...the "GAAAAAAAAAAAME SHOW MAAAAAAAAAAN!"
Gordon: Andy Martinez. You were put up against a million
dollar winner and a $600,000+ winner in your first ever
game show appearance. What do you have to say to the
Joe: "What the hell am I doing here?!?!?!"
Gordon: Is that why your game play was so erratic in the
Joe: Must've been. I knew I had badasses to deal with,
so I pulled out all the stops.
Rob: Did you try some of that Mystery Pudding?
Joe: No. I don't remember doing that.
Gordon: Look - we have, right here, the man who beat
you - Tim Hsieh! Any words to him?
Joe: YOU SUCK! :-P
Gordon: Tim - any counter to that scathing attack?
Tim: Don't hate the player, hate the game!
Chico: Please let's not remind anyone else of THAT.
Gordon: Ok, Chico - Whos next before we get back to
Boston Rob and an unhappy place?
Rob: I wonder how Amber and he are doing.
Chico: Okay, Robbie, you're Jeff Probst. How do you
respond to CBS bumping Survivor 10 to March in favor of
'Wickedly Perfect', a new reality tv show about the
quest to be the next domestic goddess?
Rob: Why, I'm the highest rated reality show on any
network. Who would want to watch people clean house for
a reality show while they can tune in to my show and
watch scantily clad women swim?
Chico: Can't argue with that logic.
Gordon: But what about the people who want to see the
next Martha Stewart? Aren't they important too?
Chico: I don't really care, actually.
Tim: What if they make them Desperate Domestic
Rob: It wouldn't be a fit on CBS; it would work on ABC
Gordon: The next step is working in the garden - wearing
only a 2 piece bikini.
Rob: What do you think this is, Desperate Housewives
Tim: Networks stealing concepts? Can't happen!
Chico: So you stick with what works?
Rob: Yes, it's been working since 2000.
Gordon: Scantily Clad women in the garden with house
tools would work for me.
Chico: If you paid'em enough, maybe.
Joe: No need for the house tools. Just the scantily clad
women for me, thank you.
Rob: I still remember that moment... Chocolate Cookies
and Peanut butter.
Gordon: Oh, it's too hot in the kitchen for all these
clothes. Let me pull a Krysta from the Bachelor 6 and
take off everything but my apron.
Rob: Or a Brigitte Neilson on The Surreal Life. Did the
same thing. I think it's time for a new head.
Gordon: Krysta is hotter.
Joe: If Nielsen was a few years younger, that might have
Chico: Okay, Gordon, get us out of this before we lose
our TV14 rating.
Gordon: OK Tim, you are Julie, from Survivor Vanuatu. Is
there any way that you can avoid being the next person
Rob: (grabs Jeff Probst stick)
Joe: Probst on Rock and Roll Jeopardy! > Probst on
Tim: Immunity victory is the only way. Now, I might try
to poison the water or food for everyone else, but I'm
hoping that I can win a mental challenge. Ami's gone,
and I'm packing my bag too. If she couldn't sway Eliza,
I got no hope.
Chico: The Double X Factor, she is gone.
Gordon: Well, taking your clothes off worked with Sarge
- could it work with Chris and Scout?
Tim: Not enough guys left to resort to skin-flashing.
Scout? Ugh, wouldn't want to go there.
Rob: (as Jeff Probst) If you manage to win Immunity,
would you have to win it again to stay at least in the
running for the money or at least win $100,000.
Chico: Obviously Julie can't win the whole show. It's
Gordon: We said that about Chris 2 episodes ago.
Tim: If I get immunity, they have to start eating their
own. That leaves 3. Might be able to work on Eliza then
to be in the final two with her.
Gordon: If you break up the Twila/Scout dyad, then
anything is possible - but I also think that Julie is
toast. Whos next, Chico?
Chico: Jason... you're Katie Fitzgerald. Besides being a
cutie, you managed to slay the dragonslayer, Nancy Zerg...
Any hopes for a parlance into your 15 minutes?
Jason: *shoots a glance off-camera as if to say, are you
Chico: Answers my question! =p
Jason: Probably not even gonna get 5 minutes! Nancy
seemed like just a one-win wonder who happened to play a
great game. Granted, it took a lot to beat Ken; but I
think I played just like any other player would. We're
all playing the same game.
Rob: Do you think that you will become another trivia
question like Nancy and Ken?
Jason: Hmm, I hope so! I think it would be interesting
in some form of Trivial Pursuit.
Chico: How about any future game appearances?
Jason: "Who is the attractive young lady who beat the
lady who defeated Ken Jennings?"
Chico: Millionaire? Anything else perhaps?
Jason: Possibly! I mean, I'm still young, right?
Rob: Because you were next up, what would have gone
through your mind if Ken did beat Nancy.
Jason: If Ken had won #75.....I think I would have gone
into the game just like any other. Try to answer more
questions and have more money than the other two! As for
Chico.....I know you'd want me to pursue something
*other* than game shows...
Chico: Yeah... Some*THING* =p
Jason: *puts mask away* Cmon, are you kidding me? :-P
Gordon, help me.
Gordon: Chico, You are.... the Lingo Red Stopper Ball.
Blackjack is getting a push. Poker is getting a push.
Dodgeball is getting a push. Horseracing is getting a
push. Your show is rated better than all of them, but
you're not getting renewed. What's going on in your
world right now?
Joe: Chris Lambert's just sore he can't do the Lingo
Butt Dance anymore.
Chico: One, Chris couldnt do the Butt Dance since the
beginning of season 3. Second... Envy. I'm red. I'm
spherical. Why can't I get a fair shake?
Gordon: I thought you'd be green if you were envious.
Chico: Except that I'm RED!
Gordon: Red is anger. Are you angry?
Chico: And I'm one of only three red in a group of blue.
Can you imagine what anguish I feel?
Gordon: I hope you are not fearing of turning purple
Tim: So it's not easy being Red?
Gordon: That would be 'It's Not Easy Being
little red ball, everyone wants you to be a green ball.
Chico: I'd rather be green, to tell you the truth.
Everyone likes the green ones.
Gordon: Would you get better gigs if you were green?
Rob: Would stand for money ball.
Gordon: Well, as a red ball, you can still be used in
the Dodgeball ads.
Chico: Probably, yeah. Right now, what am I? I'm just a
little baby dodgeball! I thought you had my back,
Chuck.. I thought... you had... my back.
Gordon: That was just very sad, Chico. I was shedding a
Chico: Okay, enough ranting. Gordon, you're a Double
Dip. How do you feel that you're getting the shaft by
ABC and what are you doing with your spare time?
Gordon: Well, for starters, I'm pissed off at the red
stopper ball. He can still be used for Dodgeball ads.
His namesake will show up on a future show. He's still
making money off of the residuals from his repeated
shows. What income am I making now?
Tim: In theory, the pseudo-Double Dip lives on in Syndie
WWTBAM. Using AOL-ATA, your PAF gets at chance to see
the question and Google it minutes before you call
Gordon: In theory? Theory doesn't pay the bills, son.
Jason: Poor Little Double Dip
Gordon: I am the neglected stepchild. Even 'Switch the
Question' is getting more attention than I am.
Chico: They always go for the baby.
Gordon: I should have campaigned harder for that spot on
Syndie Millionaire. Months ago, my friend the $64,000
space said that I shouldn't worry about a backup plan,
because thanks to ABC's crappy ratings, I would have a
job forever on Super Millionaire. Well, I didn't have a
backup plan and a fat lot of good that does now - you
don't see him in the Syndicated version of Millionaire
either. At least he also gets residuals on GSN for the
Regis version of Millionaire and for 'The $64,000
question'. I have to go out and find real work.
Chico: You can be used for chip ads and McNugget
Joe: And Seinfeld DVD ads, too.
Rob: Or as candy bar ads to explain that there are
double stuff in the bar or dipped twice in chocolate.
Gordon: I have been taking those commercial ads on the
side, but do you know how embarrassing it is to go to
Christmas parties? How do my relatives answer the
question 'What do you do'? They can say 'Contestants use
me as a Lifeline and I help people win lots of money.'
and they are looked at like they are humanitarians. What
do I say when I am asked that same question? 'Oh, people
can stick tortilla chips, chicken, cookies and wafers in
me?' Or 'Yeah, I help a comedian from the '90's shill
his 10 year old material?' How embarrassing is that?
Rob: Twice for that matter.
Gordon: Are you are calling me double stuffed? You
calling me fat? Huh?
Chico: Rather sad existence. Okay, we've got a break.
Tim, thanks for hanging out, man :-)
Joe: WHOO TIM HSIEH!
Tim: No prob. It's a cold, rainy Sunday here in LA.
Gordon: Thank you all.
Chico: Alright. Gordon and I are back to the big finish
in a bit.
(Brought to you by the
Underutilized Utilities Support Group... for the red stopper and double dip in
all of us)
Gordon: It's the holiday
season - please give to those in need - like the beloved utilities.
Chico: Think... about the
Chico: Okay, little preview of
coming events. Mark your calendars for the week of Dec. 25 for WLTI2K4: the past
12 months, a look into 2005, and footage never meant to make it to air... airs.
Oooh... Next week on the program tentatively scheduled to join the usual cast of
crazies, from net Price is Right, Jay Lewis is here...
Gordon: Plus we go over the Poker Royale to see if it is indeed the poker show
with a twist... or just another twisted poker show, and we handicap the final
four of The Apprentice and Survivor. Thats next week, but right now, it's time
to go for THE BIG FINISH.
Chico: The final four of the Apprentice has been chosen. Who wins the whole
Gordon: Kelly has the army
background and should ace the interviews. Plus he looks like Nick from Season 1.
I can't see Kelly not winning this thing. Your thoughts?
Chico: Personally, anyone but Jennifer is fine with me. She's gone from robot to
full-on mannequin over the course of the past three weeks.
Gordon: You ever see the movie Tourist Trap? Brrrrrr.
Chico: ... Now that's freaky.
Gordon: Survivor Vanuatu - Is
there any way that Julie doesn't get booted?
Chico: Survivor's getting down to
the wire and all of a sudden, Eliza has gone from endangered to empowered. Julie
has no hope in hell.
Gordon: I think if she realized that she was empowered, she'd be dangerous - but
she doesn't seem smart enough to realize this, which makes her 4th place - or
the perfect person to go up against in the final 2. Poker Royale on GSN this
Tuesday - your thoughts?
Chico: I say bring it.
Gordon: We need new poker - GSN
can't possibly screw poker up, can they?
Chico: Don't say that. Next thing
you know, they do. Dodgeball has been moved on Thursday primetime. Your
Gordon: Well, they moved it from
11pm to midnight - which is 8pm on the West Coast. That is a smart move to get
the West Coasters to see the show at 8pm (instead of 10pm, which is 7pm on the
West Coast). And the ratings don't seem to be slowing down in this edition. Plus
Ben Stein has been getting decent ratings.
Chico: Yeah, but that's what they said about Paranoia. And we all remember what
that was. Granted, it's because of that show that I have a computer today, so
I'm not complaining about that... so you think it's not a case of less, but a
case of more. Or maybe even a case of Less is More.
Gordon: Just like what ESPN did with Dream Job, we all thought that they were
going to kill it off, but they actually had more episodes in the second season
than the first. Last season, they went straight from the final four to the
winner on the final episode. This season, when they got to the final four, they
still eliminated one contestant on each show, because they saw that they were
getting good ratings. For that scenario, the time move paid off. I think the
Dodgeballers have the same mentality here.
Chico: On that note, how long do you give the new guy on ESPN?
Gordon: Not that long. I liked
Mike Hall better - you?
Chico: Agreed. Where's Mike now?
Gordon: We may need ESP to find
him. Coming down the pipe, competing... DOMESTIC DIVA shows. CBS starts it, then
Martha Stewart gets her own on NBC. Thoughts?
Chico: I'll have to hold judgment until I know something other than "Mark
Burnett teams with Martha for reality series".
Gordon: Will we ever see a time when we don't get competing shows with the same
Chico: How about... no.
Gordon: Probably not - anything
Chico: The Will is finally the
airing, but on Saturday. Mercy move?
Gordon: Saturday night - the dead
zone of TV. If you look at it as the glass being half full, you can say that CBS
is trying to build something on Saturday nights - until you realize that they
purposely moved Amazing Race 6 out of Saturday night for that reason. The Will -
DBA - Dead Before Arrival. Agreed?
Chico: Agreed. Okay, we gotta get outta here before we're all dead. Just a
reminder that you can send some love over to the guys at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Because were all about the love here.
Gordon: Speaking of which, do we have any mail this week?
Chico: I think we do...
much did Eddie Timanus win on Millionaire? 11/26/04
show not in NY.
Chico: Thanks for writing.
Well, most of the country didn't get a chance to see this show on account of the
football. But I believe that our good friend Eddie Timanus got up to $50,000
before bailing at $100,000.
Gordon: Yes he did.
Chico: This according to our good
friend Dave Adams... who wasn't preempted miraculously =p
Gordon: Thanks, Dave. And just a
reminder that one of our benefits is that if part of the US gets pre-empted, you
can always come here to find out what happened. Anything else?
Chico: Nope. That's it. Big
thanks to our VERY SPECIAL guest Tim Hsieh for stopping by.
Gordon: And thanks to regulars
Ryan Vickers, Joe Van Ginkel, Robert Seidelman, and Jason Hernandez.
Chico: For Joe, Ryan, Rob, Jason,
and everyone here at Game Show Newsnet, I'm Chico Alexander...
Gordon: and this is Gordon
Pepper, wishing that your NFL football team gets into the Playoffs.
Chico: Because mine will not. I
blame injury. Stephen Davis, I thought you were somebody.
Gordon: Mine won't either - and I
blame offensive incompetence.
Chico: Game over for both of
them... and game over for us... Peace with two fingers.