Gordon: Hello all, and this is Ryan Vickers. Go Canada! Our Canadian Idols
can kick your American Idol's asses!
Ryan: You know... you think you're special, Ryan, just because you have your little show about "Canadian Idols"???
Chico: Damn it, Ryan. I'm going to have to pull the plug on this show again.
Gordon: You didn't see the Ask Dr. Gordon segment yet, have you?
Ryan: Where's your version of millionaire? Dead after two episodes. Your
version of Supermarket Sweep? That's right, it's SO 1995.
Gordon: At least we don't have J.D. Roberto running around in OUR malls.
Chico: Okay, this is getting us nowhere. Someone deliver our motto!
Ryan: When all else fails play dead?
Gordon: From somewhere out there in Colorado, We Love To Interrupt... is on... After all this silliness, I am actually Gordon, we have Chico, as usual. We also have Ryan Vickers and Joe van Ginkel with us.
Joe: Here I am, big as life and twice as ugly.
Chico: Yep. And that's not all. We also have the grand poobah of GSNN, Jason "Stormseeker" Elliot.
Ryan: ((bows down in admiration))
Chico: *also bows*
Jason: Well, I guess that settles it... .bowing to a grand poobah is
appropriate.
Chico: So what've you been up to recently?
Jason: Avoiding the wrath of Gordon at all costs. :)
Gordon: Damn skippy. Seriously, though, did you ever expect GSNN to last for 5 years? Or WLTI to enter it's third year in 2 weeks?
Jason: No on both cases. Actually, I would've figured some internet cop
would've pulled the plug on WLTI ages ago. But since they didn't... I figured I better join in.
Ryan: To think... this all started with a terminator and the need for greed
:-)
Chico: Yep. Now look.
Gordon: Last month - over 7,000 people. Over 25,000 hits.
Chico: It's a beautiful thing, isn't it?
Ryan: Each receiving a Chuck Woolery bobblehead.
Jason: Never would've imagined any of it back in '99...seems so long ago... I was just a child...Oh...wrong show...can't do flashbacks here, eh?
Chico: Me too. Hell, I'm STiLL a child!
Gordon: Sure we can do flashbacks.... Back from the first WLTI
Chico: Uh oh.
Ryan: Cue "Wayne's World" trippy music...
Jason: No...that tape was destroyed... :: gulp :: wasn't it?

(Flashback)
Chico: But back to Millionaire. markets will air Beyond with some unknown
I've never heard about, but no Millionaire. Why?
Gordon: What's Beyond? Oh the James Van Baaarf thing?
Chico: With two a's, buddy.
Gordon: I just felt like being Praaghmatic about it.
Chico: That was horrible.
(Flashback)

Jason: No Gordon Pepper segment is complete without a "baaaaarf"...
Ryan: agreed on the awwwwwwwwww barf.
Chico: As you can see, some of us grew over the past few years and some...
Jason: ...are still Gordon.
Gordon: And then there's this from Episode 5...

(Flashback)
Chico: We still have one more for Dr. Chico?
Gordon: Yes we do Chico - last one - Dear Dr. Chico. I am a perverted Game Show TV Fan. Can you tell me which of these game shows - or any show - would I be most likely to see nudity during sweeps week? - Jason
Chico: Fear Factor, but I could be wrong. Let's check in with resident stat
guy and perverted game show fan, Jason!
(Flashback)

Chico: That kid's gonna make it!
Gordon: THAT little segment cause us to get our show yanked - and on one has yet to see how it ended.
Chico: And strangely enough, every time our show gets yanked, it's your fault.
Joe: ROFLMAO
Gordon: (staring Around) little old me?
Chico: Little nothing =p
Jason: I'm not touching that one with a 300 yard pole.
Gordon: Chico said that last night too.
Jason: Chico tells you that EVERY night. Why, oh why, won't you listen?
Gordon: I guess I need to get a bigger ..er...uh...pole
Ryan: Are we going to have to slap a TV-M on this?
Jason: We passed that point a long time ago, Ryan. - Gordon just wants to see if I'll censor it again :)
Ryan: Soon to be released on DVD then?
Gordon: Already archived - let me know when we can air it =)
Chico: Nope. That's MY job now. Anyway, we'll start off with winners and
losers. First winner: Drew. First loser: Cowboy. Anyone want to explain the logic here? I mean where's the science?
Jason: This is reality TV... there's supposed to be logic?
Joe: Who? Hunh? What?
Ryan: It's big brother. It's not science, me thinks...
Gordon: I am glad that Drew won BB5. He played the game as it should be
played and he did a masterful job. Michael just rode on Drew's coattails all the way to the end and the group rewarded gameplay over emotions.
Chico: True. But this wasn't even a landslide. This was very close. Who was the swing?
Gordon: I'm not sure there was one. I think if anything the swing was Nakomis who voted for Mike. If you look at it, you would think that everyone would have voted the way that they did. Adria and Natalie would not vote for the person who got rid of them, so Michael got their votes. Nakomis would vote for Michael due to familial bonds, while Karen, Diane, Marvin and Will, who didn't like Michael when we was with Scott and Jase, would cast their votes for Drew, the person who helped to disband that alliance. I thought there was a shot that Nakomis would have voted for Drew - so she could be considered the vote.
Ryan: She was pretty much peeved off at the person that *should* have been the family connection...
Chico: Getting to another point... She said she doesn't hold a grudge, but
clearly she has a chip on her shoulder so big you could easily sell it to
Pringles. What's up with that?
Ryan: are they the new Pringles chips with the Trivial Pursuit questions on
them then?
Chico: Might be. She's got the tats for it.
Jason: I think we call that "settling it in Daddy's backyard."
Gordon: I'm not sure about it. If she did hold a grudge, she would have voted for Drew. I agree with Jason - I think that the vote was to show that blood is thicker than water - just like the twins both voted in the same way.
Chico: But at the same time, she was only voting for Michael for one reason. Hmm... What do you suppose that one reason is... Gee. I don't know..
Gordon: It was a strong enough reason - though if you read the subsequent interviews, you'll see that they aren't really talking right now.
Chico: "A cool guy outside the game" indeed. Just goes to show you... Jaded youth is served.
Ryan: ah... money. Bringing families together since... never.
Gordon: Well, you have the alliances inside the house not speak to each other after the game. See - Scott and Jase
Chico: Right.
Gordon: Though Jase supposedly is close to a TV deal with Holly.
Ryan: Right after Josh from BB1 appears on our screens, right?
Chico: Ah. The New Newlyweds... Just in case Britney and Kevin are indeed faking it.
Ryan: This one's for Mr. Pepper... Awwwww (BLANK)
Gordon: Why do these people get so much airtime?
Chico: Because they can afford it. At least they think they can.
Ryan: Because Les Moonves is in cahoots with Julie Chen?
Chico: If by "cahoots" you mean... mm-hmm... You know.
Jason: umm...hmmm...oh!
Gordon: Listen, kids, the key to getting the most out of your fame is to milk
it RIGHT AFTER you are on the show, not 5 years later. Then the only thing
you will be on is The Surreal Life.
Chico: Next up: Second winners: Chip & Kim McAllister. Second losers: Well... everyone else. This was just a fit of well-deserved, actually
Ryan: Nice to see them win. I agree with Chico.
Gordon: Chip and Kim deserve to win that race, and they played great strategy as to tilt the other two teams at the end
Jason: No, no... the big losers are Colin and Christie as they are now engaged. The Early Show proved that.
Gordon: Not losers as much as wondering what CBS spiked in their Early Show cocktails.
Ryan: Did you notice that Chip and Kim rarely if ever flew off the handle?
Chico: Yep. See, when you're married, you know you don't have time for
squabbles. You focus..
Jason: They played the game the right way and were atypical reality contestants in that they were *sane*.
Gordon: Chip and Kim played a nice smooth calm even-keeled game, Anyone who wants to be on the show should be taking notes on what they did.
Ryan: It shows that you don't have to be over the top.
Jason: And they didn't cry when they couldn't ride a freakin' bike. Give me a break!
Ryan: They really seemed to be enjoying themselves, and I would imagine
that's hard to do near the end.
Gordon: If you play a game and have fun, then good things will happen.
Chico: You gotta enjoy it, you know? That's what Charla and Mirna taught us. And God bless 'em for it.
Ryan: Did you see they're stretching out their fame on MadTV last week?
Chico: Yep.
Ryan: Good times there.
Chico: Always.
Ryan: And as an aside... AR is a Winner this week, what with its Emmy win.
Jason: Agreed.
Chico: Yep. Although many people would see it as a loser because of its
delay. But I think it's a good thing, you know?
Gordon: Charla has done the VH1 circuit as well - that makes her a winner, and AR will be a winner - good enough so that CBS will retool it for a nice primetime slot.
Jason: Better on Wednesdays in November than Saturdays in September.
Chico: Bide your time... until Center of the Universe goes under.
Jason: Not that!
Ryan: So Wednesdays it is then, kids?
Jason: I think so.
Ryan: As long as it's earlier than 10 pm.
Chico: Someone's gotta go.
Ryan: They won't move CSI, right?
Chico: Not after it beating L&O. Bonafide hit on their hands? Fuhgeddaboudit.
Ryan: Exactly.
Jason: I think we're either looking at Wednesdays at 8 (who needs 60 Minutes after the last couple of weeks, anyway?), or Tuesdays at 9
Gordon: They can't put it against Lost, which is drawing huge numbers.
Chico: Agreed.
Gordon: Tuesday at 9 - or even at 8 - is pretty soft
Ryan: Of course if it was "Conan O'Brien's presents Lost: The original" we
could.
Chico: Tuesday at 9 is your best bet, I think.
Ryan: I would enjoy my Tuesday AR fix again.
Jason: Don't want Tuesday at 8... it'll get gobbled up by AI in January
Chico: Right.
Ryan: So if someone can just memo Les, than we can work things out.
Jason: I'll get right on that.
Ryan: Thanks.
Chico: Word. Now, for group #3: Winners: 15 champions. Losers (or should we say, lost): 2.2 million closet Jeopardy! fans.
Jason: Hey, I'll admit... I've been fast-forwarding through more of Jeopardy! this week.
Chico: During the Jennings run, we were seeing numbers in the 9 range for the quiz. Now with the TOC, when we get the hardest material, we only see 7s.
Ryan: It's a doubled edged sword... do you wait until he loses then? I figure that he'll probably lose before I retire in 40 years... sorry, it came out wrong.
Joe: LMAO
Chico: Ah. Right. Well, so what of the 2.2 million people who are ducking
out? Are they just coming out of the woodwork for this one guy? I mean what happened to the sheer competition of it?
Gordon: I definitely think its a Jennings's Syndrome - and until next year's
tournament of champions (which he'll be in, unless he is still the champion at that time) those ratings will be what the show will be getting.
Chico: But then again, $250,000 is chump change when you have $1.6 million.
Jason: They weren't watching when these people were on -- so why do they care about them?
Ryan: But isn't it about the fact that you have J! bragging rights for the
year?
Gordon: I am thinking the contestants are roadkill for Senor Ken when they do
the next tournament of the ages tourney
Chico: At least.
Ryan: Ah yes, but doesn't Merv fly you down?
Jason: Oh, you mean Pepsi's Jeopardy! Play for a Billion, Gordon?
Ryan: Are you comparing Ken to the chimp?
Gordon: It could be - I mean face it, why would a million be exciting for Ken when he is on the Verge of making double that?
Chico: We'll see when it all comes down.
Jason: No... I'm comparing Ken to the process used to determine the 'closest number'
Gordon: I mean, of course he'll do it, but if you won $25,000 on a game show, what's the excitement for you if the tournament is only worth $10,000?
Chico: Will he live for the fight and nothing else... or will he go Hollywood?
Ryan: But wouldn't you want to prove again that you're the king of quizzing?
Gordon: The fight -- I don't want to watch on my movie screen Ken Jennings, Super Mormon.
Ryan: Well he's been parodied on MadTV... so he is going somewhere...
Chico: I say wait 25 years - Then get Chad Michael Murray on the line.
Gordon: if Bill Murray wants to do a movie based on Press Your Luck, why not Chad Michael Murray doing a movie on Jennings?
Chico: He'd have to get a haircut, though
Ryan: Well, if GSN ever when back to old school... another documentary?
Jason: They might have to do a lot of digging to get "Press Your Button: The Ken Jennings Scandal" out...
Chico: Example...
Gordon: Who would play Ken Jennings? Ed Begley Jr.?
Chico: Too old, I think.
Ryan: Ha ha ha.
Gordon: Who would you want to see play him?
Ryan: Ralph Fiennes. I understand he has some good qualifications :-)
Chico: Let's see... Knew all the answers on another game-show-based movie? I'd say so.
Joe: In terms of Fiennes: he played Charles Van Doren in Quiz Show.
Gordon: Not to mention that he did win on one of those Jeopardy All Celebrity shows.
Chico: Perhaps a better question would be who would play Trebek? Will Ferrell?
Ryan: Only if you have the Sean Connery impressions.
Gordon: I got it - Justin Guarini!
Ryan: Oh dear me.
Gordon: He's got the curly hair - then again, so does Dustin Diamond. Can you imagine Screech as Alex Trebek?
Chico: Okay, Gordon... Hand it over.
Gordon: (Hands over Stacie's Magic 8 Ball). Sorry. That got me...all weirded out, for some reason.
Chico: Has the facial hair for it.
Gordon: Speaking of which - did Donald Trump do the right thing in firing
Stacie and Bradford?
Jason: No doubt about it.
Gordon: What do you say to the people who accuse Trump of doing it for the ratings?
Chico: Yep. you know, it's one of those things you have to analyze looking
back.
Jason: I say they aren't Donald Trump :)
Chico: Decision's easy for them.
Jason: It's like Trumpy said... you can't have loose cannons. And they both
were (at the very least).
Gordon: One of which was an ego-head, the other one was just off tilt.
Chico: I couldn't manage egos or crazy people.
Jason: Um... Chico... I hate to break it to you... but you work with us. :)
Gordon: I am the best damn recapper EVER! Excuse me while I shave my duck.
Chico: Okay, point taken - and Gordon, for the 1145th time, that WASN'T a
challenge!
Ryan: Kids! You're all getting a time out in a minute :-)
Jason: :: points at Gordon ::
Gordon: What? What did I do?
Jason: Nothing out of the ordinary. :)
Chico: I guess this means we're going to break now...
Gordon: (quack quack quack) Hey, stop it, Larry!
Ryan: Moeeeeeeeeee!
Jason: oh my... definitely break time... gotta reel Gordon back in from 8-ball land.
Joe: Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk
Chico: While Ryan and Gordon work out their personal problems, we'll go to break. When we come back, we have a battle of the billionaires and the Big Five... This is WLTI, half arsed since 2002.
Gordon: And then Larry said, Put it on my Bill! Bwa ha ha ha ha!
Jason: :: suspends Gordon's GSNN card ::
Ryan: You really need to work on a Match Game pilot or something Gordon... :-)

(Brought to you by the Guinn/Woods Instant Enema... for the anally-retentive racer in all of us.)

Click HERE to continue