August 13, 2005

Jason: That is bad Gordon. Watching too many previews of Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo?
Gordon: Yes - but you'd watch, wouldn't you?
Pierre: Um, I don't want that. It's right up up above Jerry Springer's I've Got A Secret.
Chico: Anyway, we're back (no pun intended) to WLTI, and it's time to play "Would you Could You". Basically, it's a game of hypothetical situations and putting the shoe on the other foot...
Jason: OK...
Gordon: Let's start
Chico: Example:

You're the NBC programming head that decided to move the Law Firm to Bravo. Would you have made that move or do something different?

Pierre: I would make that move for better ratings, otherwise I would end up on Court TV.
Gordon: Actually, I would have moved the Law Firm to Court TV.
Jason: I agree with Gordon.
Gordon: You'll be more likely to get ratings there.
Chico: I also agree. Better fit.
Mike: I don't know if it would do well there. Yes, it would be an appropriate place for that show to go. However, Court TV is more about the forensics and crime solving..
Mike: At least in prime time.
Jason: It's about lawyering too.
Pierre: (cues up CSI NY Theme)
Mike: I know, but I see more forensics, famous crimes/criminals, and stories of the notorious than I do about lawyers.
Pierre: Lawyering, is that a word?
Mike: It is legal.
Chico: But too long to count. Word goes to the other team :)
Mike: And a triple word score gives Jason...48.
Pierre: Or one point in NBC TV rules.
Gordon: OK - Next one -

You just got booted from a show that you worked 4 seasons on. The split was not pretty. Would you blab it to every media circuit you could find?

Mike: No. It only makes getting a job in the field that much tougher.
Jason: Sure. If I acted like a female dog on the show...why not continue.
Pierre: I wanted to be interviewed my morning radio to see what happened after I got kicked out of ANTM.
Mike: Future employers know she has a reputation to be a bizznatch if something doesn't go her way.
Chico: Methinks she just gets her jollies from being out there, Mike.
Mike: I'm sure she enjoys being in the spotlight. She's a model, for heaven's sake. Did I just say bizznatch? Wow.
Chico: Heh. Mike's getting the lingo down.
Mike: I'm the whitest white boy east of the Mississippi and I'm saying words like "bizznatch".
Jason: No...Gordon is the whitest white boy east of the Mississippi :P
Mike: I have to be a close 2nd.
Gordon: Next, my homies?

Okay, let's say you're a game show host. Your show has been on the last 20 years, give or take a few..., but now you have just sprung to life anew for the past few years thanks to a few brainiacs. Would you play poker for charity if everyone suddenly knew your reputation?

Pierre: I would play poker for charity, if I took a break from giving brainiacs the tough questions and put in Ken Jen and D. Madden in the CPS table.
Gordon: I would do it - maybe I can pull a Gabe Kaplan and find a second life on the Poker Tours.
Mike: I would play for charity too, as long as I don't have to drive home in a pick-up truck while sleep-deprived.
Chico: How do you think you'll do? I mean, you're Alex Trebek for cripes sake.
Gordon: I think I'll do very well. I am so stoic on the show that getting a poker face should be easy.
Pierre: I mean, I had shows like Classic Concentration & High Rollers and now I'm in CPS playing for charity? Somebody better call Merv Griffin.
Chico: You say that as if it was a bad thing.
Mike: Taking a look at his competition, he'll play Anthony Anderson, Cheryl Hines, Amber Tamblyn, and Michael Vartan.
Jason: He is going to kill them.
Mike: Hines and Vartan are televised poker vets. Tamblyn has God behind her and I would guess Anderson has played some poker in his time.
Chico: Anthony's a born hustler...
Mike: Trebek ends up 5th. You heard it here first.
Chico: We're going to hold you to that.
Mike: Sounds good. I will eat crow if Trebek wins.
Chico: You heard it here first, folks. Next?

Staying on Jeopardy...The Brain Bus goes to Wyoming. If you knew that you would be selected to get a Jeopardy Exam, would you go up there?

Chico: Why not? I went to Atlanta, didn't I?
Mike: Wyoming isn't exactly a hot bed for Jeopardy contestants...
Pierre: I would, but I'd bring my coat and ace it.
Chico: I'm going to LA, aren't I?
Mike: Of course this means that the competition should be diluted. You're going to LA, yes. However, there will be no J! tryouts when we're out there.
Gordon: So to insult all Wyomingans, you will all go there because those people from Wyoming aren't as bright?
Chico: Not that they aren't as bright, but they aren't as numerous.
Mike: Kick save and a beaut, Chico.
Pierre: 3 points!
Chico: And the crowd goes wild :) The contestant coordinators like to bring up times when they had to say, "Well, you're all in good company. You ALL failed!"
Gordon: ok - next one?

While we're on the subject of travel, let's say you're a mayor of a small town, population 2000 to 3000. Would you take 200 of your residents up to New York City to audition for a major network game show?

Jason: Hell yes I would.
Gordon: Sounds good to me. I want 200 new cars!
Pierre: I'm taking 200 people with me! Who's going to the Maddencruiser with Ty Pennington?
Mike: I would want to see what I'm getting into first. With that, ask me Monday morning after the first episode airs.
Chico: Gotcha, Mr. K. Final tale of interest?

You are Martha Stewart. You've seen the clones. Would you make sure that you're show doesn't copy any of them? And if so, what would you do to change it?

Chico: It would be hard, seeing as we're both under the same umbrella, but I would try my damnedest to make it happen.
Mike: How much control does Martha have on this show? Did Trumpster give her most or all of the control?
Pierre: Steal Tommy Hilfiger's dismissal line, put the setting in New Hampshire and change the theme song from the O'Jays to Troop w/ Queen Laitfah from New Jack City.
Mike: I heard that the execution scene will not be done in the boardroom and Martha will not use the "You're fired." line.
Chico: That's about all we have thus far. She's keeping it a surprise.
Mike: Maybe she can do Andy Dick's clip-clip-clip from The Assistant.
Pierre: or Jeff Probst's The Tribe Has Spoken.
Mike: Maybe she'll whack someone over the head with her ankle bracelet.
Chico: Or "Time for us to part" and then whips out a pistol... Okay, no more "Noir" for me. (Viva anime =p) Or even better... Who remembers this: "Get the hell out of my office!"
Mike: I could see Martha saying "Get the hell out of my office." And then she beats someone over the head with a wooden spoon. I don't know what's with me and beating people over the head. I must think that's an appropriate way to close a show.
Gordon: Maybe she could say that the loser is arrested for bad taste and then puts on an ankle bracelet replica on the ousted contestant.
Chico: That's... just wrong :)
Jason: Funny, but wrong.
Mike: The last person standing wins an all expenses paid trip to Camp Cupcake.
Gordon: That's all we got for this segment. After the commercial, we'll introduce a NEW GAME to all.

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