Episode 31.9 - Turkey Trot
November 19

Gordon: Am I included?
Chico: Judges? (DING!)
Jason: DING! You win!
Gordon: Ok good. Now as you've been reading about in the news, there have been a bunch of disgruntled Americans who have been looking to secede from the United States. So we have decided to grant those requests and create an island. Welcome to...SECESSION ISLAND.
Chico: And for the most part, they're pretty much lost on the concept of secession.
Jason: Big time. I am sad. No joke.
Chico: anyway, Gordon, it's your island, it's your petition, you go first.
Gordon: I will then.

We need singing talent. Lyric 145, Jennel Garcia, Michaela or Adriana.

Jason: Lyric 145
Chico: Lyric.
Gordon: I liked them. They can be the singing act. Next?
Chico: Next...

Kirstie Alley or Bristol Palin. They both sucked. Who gets to suck on the island?

Jason: Kirstie
Gordon: if it's a Republican Island, the choice is quote clear. Bristol.
Chico: So it's up to me, now isn't it? Leave it to the man with the mind twisted enough to send BOTH of them to dance with each other.
Jason: Judges?
Chico: (DING DING!)
Gordon: 2 women dancing with each other. The Republicans will LOVE it.
Jason: LOL
Gordon: Next one...
Chico: Well, they're ho... they're cut... they'll do.

Jeff Kent or Russell Swan. They need motivation.

Jason: Jeff.
Chico: Jeff. He's got money. Money's the ultimate motivation.
Gordon: Jeff. He earned 60 million. He can create the budget. Next?

The cast of NumbNuts or the cast of Totally Clueless.

Chico: One's full of talent. The other... is Totally Clueless. TOTALLY CLUELESS!
Jason: NumbNuts.....
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: Clueless. At least the Numbnuts have purpose. Next...
Chico: Yeah, Victor's a jumper, Horse gets hit a lot, and Crazy Mike's... crazy.

Mark Cuban or Donald Trump. Which Shark needs to go into the tank?

Jason: Trump.
Chico: Trump.
Gordon: Trump it is. Next?
Chico: Donald don't know when to shut up. Next.

Guy Fieri the restauranteur or Cheryl Burke the bachelorette?

Chico: Both of these people are... out of their prescribed zones of niche.
Jason: Cheryl Burke
Gordon: Guy Fieri. We need food.
Jason: Guy is being scorched for no reason
Chico: So you've eaten there?
Jason: Not yet.
Chico: Okay, you're gonna have to let me know how that works. Meanwhile Cheryl can join the island. Wanting to leave the dance floor for the Bachelorette, that's just crazy town.
Gordon: Last one...

We did create this island for a reason. Does Jason Block want to be the Master of Ceremonies?

Chico: .... I don't think so.
Jason: No. :-)
Gordon: That's up to Jason, not us. So to Sum this up...

Welcome to Secession Island! Cheryl Burke welcomes you to the land of Dancing and Music! Lyric 145 will rap about your stay while you watch Kirstie Alley and Bristol Palin dance cheek to cheek. Finally, Jeff Kent and Donald Trump will make sure that you can buy a piece of equity here which will triple in value once the new casinos get built. Oh wait, it's a joke made up by the Totally Clueless crew. There's no casino. only some tar pits in the back.

Jason: WIN.
Chico: Nice
Gordon: Thank you. And now...this break.

(Brought to you by Turkey Blackout. Contestants have to find a whole turkey dinner in the dark and serve it to as many hungry families as they can. If you can afford to give to the needy, please do so at any local charity.)

Jason: Or Food Bank
Chico: Agreed. Make this Thanksgiving mean something. In fact, here's a WLTI Protip: If you're hosting a Thanksgiving get together with friends, put up a rule: the price of admission is one can of food. Donate it to a local food bank. Easy.
Jason: Bingo.
Chico: Now let's go over some programming options. Because it's a holiday, you're going to be presented with a number of them. The question: WATCH OR RECORD? First up...

Killer Karaoke... or college football?

Jason: Watch Football...record KK
Chico: Agreed. Unless it's the SEC... Overrated conference.
Gordon: Depends on who's playing.
Chico: Let's take a look.
Gordon: Because the only game that really matters is Notre Dame. Who cares who wins conferences if they don't mean anything?
Jason: Notre Dame should be #1.
Jason: Is the NFL involved in this as well?
Chico: No, the NFL is only involved in Thanksgiving. Friday's game is South Florida at Cincinnati or Arizona State at Arizona. That's during KK.
Gordon: I'm watching KK. No Notre Dame game. Next one...

Top Chef or The Voice

Chico: Watch The Voice, record Top Chef.
Gordon: I'm watching Top Chef. The Voice's characters and singing is...dare I say it...boring. Top Chef, with the 3 'All-Stars' looks to be the better show.
Chico: Well, here's the thing... you can watch Top Chef ANY TIME. The Voice is usually on just one time, unless it repeats on the NBCUniversal family of networks.
Gordon: Or watch it online
Jason: I am watching Top Chef...recording the Voice.
Gordon: Next one Chico?
Chico: Okay, now let's say you're a person living in one of Scripps markets...

Let's Ask America or Wheel of Fortune?

Jason: Watch America...tape Wheel
Chico: Agreed.
Gordon: ...are you two nutty? Watch Wheel of Fortune.
Chico: We are nutty.
Jason: Hold on a second. Here's the deal. This is a limited market show And based on the QUESTION involved.... Thats what I would do.
Chico: I'm going on the fact that I haven't seen anything like this before, and it's addictive.
Gordon: You are the same people who will vote for Katherine McPhee because she was in trouble and would let Daughtry walk out the door.
Jason: NO :-)
Chico: Far from that.
Gordon: Next one...

Shark Tank...or The Ultimate Fighter?

Chico: Ultimate Fighter. Record Shark Tank. On a Friday night, the last thing I want to be reminded of, if I'm a stooge for corporate America... is work. And that's work, what they're doing on Shark Tank. Friday is a time to relax and watch people get their butts kicked.
Jason: Chico is RIGHT.
Chico: As long as it isn't me
Gordon: I'm all for wanton violence and UFC. That being said. Shark Tank has greatly improved this season. Next one?
Jason: No doubt on Shark Tank.
Chico: Agreed. Next...

The Macy's Day Parade from NYC or the Dunkin' Donuts Day Parade from Philly.

Jason: Watch Macys Record Duncan....you have to see Santa
Chico: YES.
Gordon: You have to watch the Macy's Parade.
Chico: NOT EVEN A QUESTION.
Gordon: Last one... Now I know if I had the Bachelorette Vs. Rupaul's Drag Race, you would go for RuPaul, so let's be evil...

The Bachelorette Vs....Ton of Cash

Chico: Oh boy.
Jason: My DVR would vomit.
Chico: Now we were talking about this earlier this week. Our friends over at Bothersbar.co.uk we were tweeting back and forth. Ton of Cash wasn't BAD... until it made that hard right turn into reality.
Gordon: ...it was bad.
Chico: Not as bad as The Bachelorette. which is ALL HARD RIGHT TURN. It literally goes in circles. It's doing a donut on my DVR as we speak. So I'll watch Ton of Cash. Then I'll go have a vomit..
Gordon: Or watch the Bachelorette just so I can laugh at everyone's horrible acting skills.
Jason: Same, Unfortunately.
Chico: ACTING!
Chico: We're going to set up camp for the Macy's Day parade in a bit, but first, watch this.

(Brought to you by... Turkey. You can do anything with it! You can fry it! You can bake it! You can broil it! You can stuff it! You can bring it with you to the beach if you're British enough! And if you're Mike Darnell or Mike Fleiss, you can cast it and put it on a reality show. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!)

Jason: Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, yams, biscuits, rolls, pumpkin pie :-)
Chico: And that green bean casserole. And REAL cranberry sauce, not that canned crap.
Jason: and then...FOOD COMA. ;-)
Gordon: We here at WLTi wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving. We'll start our with the Speed Round...now! Survivor, who leaves?
Chico: Abi. Bye.
Jason: Pete.
Chico: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You're funny, Jay.
Gordon: I'll agree with Chico. DWTS: WHo's gone?
Chico: Apolo & Karina... Or Kelly & VAl.
Jason: Kelly
Chico: I'll go with Kelly & Val.
Gordon: I'll say the one person who didn't finish in first during the regular season. And that's Melissa.
Chico: Okay, Amazing Race... do the rock stars find their swag?
Gordon: They do, but I still think they leave
Jason: They find their stuff but I dont know if they make it...I will say no.
Chico: Agreed. X Factor: Paige will get saved, but on the back of whos's elimination?
Jason: Arin Ray
Chico: I'm going to go with Beatrice Miller.
Gordon: I'm going to agree with Chico on this one.
Chico: The Voice... does it get exciting or no? Or have we peaked?
Jason: zzzzzzzzzzzz
Chico: Answers my question.
Gordon: (turns off alarm clock and rolls over) yawn...mail?
Chico: Nope. But you can change that. You can post it up on our Facebook /wlti.gsnn. You can send us a tweet @wltiongsnn. Of course you can email us at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com
Gordon: Cool. and that ends this show. Speacial thanks to Jason Block for joinins us this week.
Jason: Always a pleasure.
Chico: Next week, we get killer as we start the holiday rush. Until then, for Gordon Pepper and everyone at GSNN, I'm chico Alexander, our time's up, we thank you for yours. Game over... and spread the love.
Jason: SPREAD THE LOVE.