Episode 21.10
August 10

Gordon: Is Ted Allen hosting?
Chico: Nope. The woman herself's hosting. Because if anyone can blitz vodka ... and cream cheese frosting... and allspice... in a blender... and drink it... it's her.
Don: Eww.
Gordon: But...Can...She...Sing?
Chico: ... no
Gordon: And neither can we, but that doesn't stop us from doing Songbook.
Chico: Nope. With that said... let's begin with this...

NAAFA, that's the National Association to Advance Fat Awareness... is rallying against Oxygen's Dance Your... Booty... Off. Give us a soundtrack that will get them pumped.

Gordon: Baby's Got Back! (Sir Mix-a-Lot)
Chico: Miss New Booty... Bubba Sparxxx
Gordon: Doin' The Butt (EU Booty)
Joe: Sounds like a Newlywed Game answer
Chico: No, Joe, that would be Do her in the butt.
Joe: Oh, and "Flat-Bottomed Girls" (Queen)
Chico: I can't believe you're forgetting... FAT. (Weird Al)
Gordon: Nice. next one...

Hell's Kitchen and the turmoil that goes on with it.

Chico: Obviously... "Fire", the Ohio Players
Gordon: Bat Out Of Hell - Meatloaf
Chico: Then there's "We Didn't Start The Fire", Billy Joel
Joe: High Voltage (Electric Six)
Don: "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC?
Chico: "If You're Going Through Hell", Rodney Atkins
Joe: George Carlin's "7 Words You Can't Say on TV"
Gordon: Next one, Chico?
Chico: Next one..

Obviously... Regis' return to Millionaire.

Gordon: Millionaire, by ABC
Chico: Strachan Brothers' theme. Played on a continuous loop. Club mix included. That's for you, G.
Gordon: What about Pennies from Heaven?
Joe: In honor of the clock (and the build-up to the new series) "Tick Tick Boom"
Gordon: Next one...

Let's continue the ABC love with 'Shark Tank'. Give me a tune.

Chico: For the Love of Money, the O'Jays.
Gordon: We'll go with the obvious theme from Jaws here. Jabberjaws theme, also
Chico: Dragons' Den's theme? Just for flavor.
Joe: Dragon's Lair theme also.
Chico: Good songbook there. Next...

While we're on Sunday debuts... America's Best Dance Crew. Go.

Joe: Dance Epidemic (Electric Six)
Gordon: Dancing on the Ceiling - Lionel Richie
Chico: Whitney Houston, I Wanna Dance with Somebody.
Joe: Every DDR track ever
Chico: The Jacksons, Blame It on the Boogie.
Don: "Let's Dance"
Joe: That song used on the Ellen show
Gordon: The Pole Dance Song :)
Chico: I'm afraid to ask, Gordon... WHAT?1
Gordon: This is the same person who graced you with 'Call Girl', 'Call Boy' and 'Fritz, Love My (^_^)s' You sure you want to know?
Don: lol
Chico: Ah, E-Rotic That would fall under Joe's answer of "Every DDR song ever."
Gordon: Well, since you insist...

http://www.jiggystudio.com/videos-276-PoleJunkiescom-Sensual-Pole-Dance-Song

Chico: I don't know what's more wrong... pole dancing... or pole dancing to John Mayer?
Gordon: I notice you haven't stopped the video yet ;)
Chico: Yeah... so... NEXT?
Gordon: Last one...

Simon Cowell as not elected to bring back Kelli Glover. Instand, we have gotten so far kiddie dancers and lip synching trannies. Dedicate a song to him.

Chico: "American Idiot" Green Day
Joe: (^_^)hole (Dennis Leary)
Chico: "Wake Me Up When September Ends" - also Green Day
Joe: 4'33" by John Cage
Gordon: 'Crazy' - Seal
Chico: "Crazy" - Gnarls Barkley
Gordon: 'Crazy' - Aerosmith
Don: Who hasn't sang a song called "Crazy"? :P
Chico: "Crazy" - Patsy Cline
Gordon: 'Crazy' - Ice House
Chico: "Crazy" - Simple Plan..."Crazy" - K-Ci & JoJo...
Gordon: I think someone is Googling.
Joe: Stop googling
Chico: Who, me?
Gordon: Yes you, Mr. Googler.
Chico: Please...I'm Mr. Wikipedia. Google's for when you want to look up your own name.
Joe: This is Songbook, not SongSearchEngine
Gordon: So while Mr. Wikipedia puts his toys away, we'll take a break.
Chico: When we return... Gordon puts his stethoscope on.
Gordon: And bald cap.

(Brought to you by "Who Wants to Be Grandma Lee?" Think you have comedy skills? Then hang out on Comedy Central, because Grandma's Last Show, Last Comic Standing, has gone 6 feet under.)

Chico: But she's just beginning on AGT. And she's looking rather good on it.
Gordon: She is. And now, it's time for you all to make me look good as I don the Papaya Hat and the glasses. It's now time for Ask Dr. Gordon.
Chico: Okay, starting with this question...Dear Dr. Gordon...

Gordon: Dear DVR Challenged - This is actually easy. Megan Wants a Millionaire and Iron Chef America repeat all over the place. Both Shark Tank and There Goes the Neighborhood will be on the internet the next day, so I'll say pick whichever one you want. Signed, Dr. Gordon.
Chico: If I were you, though... I'd pick sharks.
Gordon: I'm glad I could be so helpful (or not so helpful, since I really didn't give an answer).
Joe: Here's a second opinion. Read a book. It'll probably last longer than at least 1 of those 4, and be more entertaining than at least 2.
Gordon: A book? But who wants to read a book when you can watch Megan and lose brain cells in the process?
Joe: If you want to lose brain cells, you can watch football
Gordon: And for you football fans, the hatemail goes to Joe Mello, care of...
Chico: Later. Next letter. Dear Dr. Gordon...

Gordon: female women of the opposite sex? oooookkkkkk..... Well Kiptyn, apparently, you're either really devastated by your loss, or you're getting a Boy Britney fetish. Either way, you need to move on. I strongly suggest to speak to The Bachelor Producers to get on the next series. Failing that, I'm sure VH1 would love to have a chat with the guy who sparked a resurgence for the series. Then you give all the females of the opposite sex any pet names you want - even stranger names than Kiptyn. Signed, Dr. Gordon.
Chico: Thanks, I have another letter!
Gordon: Really! Where do you find all these people sending me email?
Chico: Dear Dr. Gordon...

Gordon: Dear Ex from Texas - What gives is that Jeff Foxworthy is a perfect comedian with his 'Red Neck' humor for the demographic the show is looking for. In addition, this is a fun little trivia show that appeals to families, and CMT is a family oriented network. It's a good choice. Signed, Dr. Gordon. Next?
Chico: Next up...

Gordon: Dear Animal Arsonist - I like the fact that Monty Hall has signed on as the consultant. In addition, you do have other people with game show experience on board. It makes a nice companion piece for TPIR, and I think it gives a good venue for both males and college students to go to if they don't want to see Rachel Ray, etc. So this could be a nice choice. Signed, Dr. Gordon.
Chico: Next....

Don: Heh.
Joe: *checks watch* and it's been....how long?
Chico: Four days, I think
Gordon: I do have a suggestion. Watch FOX in the Fall for So You Think You Can Dance and ABC in the Spring for Dancing With the Stars. I have a sneaky suspicion that you'll find what you're looking for there. Signed, Dr. Gordon.
Chico: Nice. Final letter...

Joe: Rob has a point there - the Yankees do suck
Gordon: Dear Mr. Never won on a reality show - I think that it's very important for you to understand the value of reality. Like yourself, not everyone can be a winner. As you see the Red Sox slowly fading out of the AL East and the Wild Card, you can see that not everyone can get a gold star. And when you see that the Patriots, who are perfect, losing to my New York Giants, you have to see that even perfection isn't enough.
Chico: But the help?
Joe: The help is "be a Phillies fan"
Gordon: And in Philadelphia, they turn on their stars in an instant. They even boo Santa Claus. So living in Phily is a good rule also to show how fickle people are. I bet if Philly doesn't win a World Series this year, they will be booed out of the state. So my advice? Move to New York City. Signed, Dr. Gordon.
Chico: That'll be fun. Ad revenue's also fun. Speed Round next.

(Brought to you by Who Wants to Be a Bachelor? Think you have what it takes to court a single woman... romance her... reach an understanding... propose.. get married.. and live a well-adjusted life in the suburbs? If so... then ABC is soooooo not looking for you.)

Gordon: But if I know someone with panties of steel, can they apply?
Chico: Hmm... I'll have to think about that. Meanwhile, it's time to think about the Speed Round!
Gordon: Speed Round starts...now! We actually got Ronnie leaving the house correct last week. Who gets to be the first member of the jury?
Chico: Russell.
Don: Russell.
Gordon: I think Jeff uses the Coup D'Etat and puts Natalie and Jesse up there. If that happens, Jessie goes.
Chico: Okay, what about Sunday night. You're watching one show. Which one is it?
Don: Millionaire.
Joe: Millionaire
Gordon: Shark Tank
Chico: Millionaire... but I'll give Shark Tank an honest bite.
Gordon: Millionaire is #2 for me, but I want to see Shark Tank. Millionaire - how will it do in the ratings?
Joe: Good enough. I don't think it'll set the world on fire, but it'll be decent.
Chico: Think positive thoughts.
Don: Hopefully pretty good.
Gordon: I hate to be the dark cloud here, but they aren't beating pre-season football. 2nd over all, and 3rd in the 18-49 demos behind Football and Big Brother.
Chico: That's tonight. But what about the rest of the week?
Joe: Good enough
Gordon: 2nd place for the week. Good enough to be brought back in spurts, but not against the big guns in Sweeps.
Don: As long as it does good, I'll be happy.
Joe: Unfortunately Sweeps is the best place to show it in spurts
Gordon: I want it to do good, but I'm concerned.
Chico: I think it'll go the way of Wipeout. And thank god it'll do that. And thank God we have viewers with mail. And I understand that Joe sent in something.
Joe: Why yes. May I?
Chico: Go head.

Gordon: I'll take this one. Hey Joe - Based on what I know of it, if you land on that space, you get a free shot. That's only good for one turn, and not for the whole round. Conversely, if I have control of a Free Spin and I know the puzzle, I have a block to ensure I get the puzzle right and I can even land on a Lose-A-Turn or Bankrupt and still solve the puzzle - especially the Prize Puzzle, where I can go bankrupt, solve the puzzle and still get $5,000. So hence, it's a free play, but in the grand scheme of things, it won't dominate a round (and the chances of having the skill to land on the same spot every time is quite rare).
Joe: Oh, I wouldn't be surprised if someone hit it multiple times, if it's possible to
Chico: Oh yeah, very possible. After all, someone won a million. I guess anything is possible.
Gordon: Possible, yes, but not likely.
Chico: Thanks, Joe.
Joe: I meant if the Free Play is a one-time-only, then you can't hit it again, but I have not heard that it is
Chico: I haven't heard it either.
Joe: Which is why I fear someone could win a bunch of money with little puzzle-solving acumen
Chico: Plausible, but highly unlikely.
Joe: We shall see.
Don: Indeed. It'll seem weird to me to not see the Free Spin there anymore after it's been around for so long, though.
Gordon: If you've seen the show and how people spin, but as it's been said, it could be done.
Joe: Because one thing the wheel needs is even less risk
Gordon: There was an old A-Team episode where Dirk Benedict was able to use his leverage to hit the Wheel of Fortune on the one big money wedge every time.
Chico: Okay, aside from that... we had a lot of letters on one subject, and we're going to publish'em all. First off, Dontryl Alexander (no relation)...

Chico: Okay, next is... Myke Perrey

Joe: I lol at the last question
Chico: And finally, from Eddie Timanus

Chico: Can and did. We've done it already.

Chico: Well, Dontryl, Myke, and Eddie... We went over all of this at top of the show... We've thought long and hard and in the end, there are risks and possibilities. But right here right now, the possibilities outweigh the risks. This is the right decision for CBS right now. Do we agree with it? No.
Joe: It's cheaper to make one show than it does to make 2
Gordon: I have comments for each letter.
Chico: Comments for each letter. Go
Gordon: Dontryl - I don't see Michael Davies accepting an offer for Pyramid to be put on the side - especially if they can do business with Program Partners or a cable company that would make a $100,000 version. The money is relative if you can get the show sold. See The Singing Bee as an example of a $10,000 prize instead of $50,000. If Daviies can get a deal and make it $100,000, he'll do it.
Chico: Ok.
Gordon: Myke - I agree with you. I think ATWT could be in trouble - and I know that CBS could make more money with Pyramid than with a soap opera who's faltering on the ratings end.
Chico: If I were CBS, I'd think long and hard about ratings... and income... and budget. Think about that, and your decision's already made.
Gordon: Eddie - I think as a game show fan, you have to see the big picture. As game show people, we may not all be LMAD fans (I'm a big, big fan of the show), but we need to see the show work. If it does, then this could be the start of the return of new game shows in the morning, and that would be great news for everyone. Thank you all for the great emails. Keep them coming. Where do they go to?
Chico: They go to wlti@gameshownewsnet.com, or if you're on the Book of Faces... and the Space of Mys... and the Tube or yous... we're there also.
Gordon: And that ends our show this week. Special thanks to Joe Mello and Don Harpwood for joining us.
Joe: No prob
Don: Always nice.
Chico: And if that pole dancer from the video is watching still... congratulations... you passed our test. And you can be our friend. =p
Gordon: On THAT note, while Chico is watching the video for the 69th time, this is Gordon, saying Game Over and Spread the Love.