August 6, 2007

Chico: TODAY... Three game show premieres...ONE involves the greatest game show players EVER... give or take a few. ONE involves the greatest business schools ever... give or take a few...And ONE ... involves BLOOD!
Jason: MWahahahhahah
Chico: AGAIN, give or take a few. :-)
Gordon: A few pints, that is.
Chico: And it might get you Mets tickets from what I hear... From somewhere in America... you're in game country now... WLTI is ... ON!
Jason: WHoo HOO
Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and the Amanda Byram to my Dennis Miller is Chico Alexander.
Chico: Only I don't have the sexy dress, mole, or accent. But I do have the brain.
Gordon: You definitely do have the brain over Byram, as the broadcast of Grand Slam showed.
Chico:  Thank you. Joining us is the questioner... Jason Block.
Jason: Thank you. Your time starts....now.
Chico: .... Beter hurry. Okay, GSN's newest original, another British transplant, Grand Slam.
Jason: So Byram wasnt hired for her intelligence?
Chico: Well, she was hired for her expertise in presenting... but mostly to serve as fodder for Dennis' banter while looking incredibly hot doing so.
Jason: Which is what we saw during the tapings. He cracked jokes and she laughed.
Chico: A far cry from her days on "The Swan."
Gordon: She wasn't. but the contestants playing our first show were. Sixteen of the top game show players in America competed in the first USA version of Grand Slam, a show that debuted this past weekend. I trust we all watched?
Chico: Yes. I'll review later, but first, here's a bit of how the game works. Two people enter the thunderdome for four rounds. Round 1, General knowledge. Round 2, the numbers and logic round. Computations, conversions, and all that other righty-brainy stuff that we're good at.
Jason: Some of us are.
Chico: Round 3, words and letters. Anagrams, camouflages, speed chains, Now You See Its. Round 4: The Mix round. A little bit of everything. Run out of time in any round, and your opponent gets to bank any time he or she has remaining until that final round. But you're not TOTALLY alone in battle, as you have three switches. They do just that, SWITCH the question to your opponent, thereby forcing him or her to answer. UNLESS he or she has switches banked and can switch the question back.
Jason: The person asking the questions: World Series Of Pop Culture's Pat Kiernan.
Chico: Because, you know... he's good at that.
Jason: He has the "authoritative" voice down pat.
Chico: If Pat Kiernan is good at anything, it's delivering questions quickly and monotonously. Dennis Miller and Amanda Byram... they were harmless. They were in the booth (where they rightly belonged) calling the action, giving us the analysis... although outside of who got what right, there really wasn't any. SORRY. =p But this felt like a real sports match. With real players... and real playbooks. Who wants a Big Board? You know you do...
Gordon: ME! ME!
Chico: You know you do...

Chico: The title: simple enough... The Grand Slam Playbook. (or "Knowing is Half the Battle.") As displayed by the four players on Saturday's show. To recall, it was Ken Jennings vs. Victor Lee ... and Dr. Kevin Olmstead, good friend of ours, vs. Michelle Kitt. Obviously, you can't be dumb and play this game. So rule #1. "Be smart... at SOMETHING." Some people have the trivia going... Some have the computation. Some are good with words. This is even keel.
Jason: To win this thing you have to be good at all three.
Gordon: Agreed.
Chico: You don't have to know everything, but you do have to know something. Second play.. Using switches. Switches are your friends. Do not use them lightly.
Jason: They really are important.
Chico: You only start with three. For this... Think back to Double Dare. Either the 76 version or the Nick version. Either one will apply.
Gordon: Yes - but switches are much more effective when you use them properly. I's good to switch it when you don't know the answer. However, the most effective way to use it is to force someone's time to expire if they are barely holding on at the end of a round, which will either give you more time for the final round or to end the match.
Chico: Or if your opponent is strapped for time, AND you can honestly think about the question (which is what Kevin did... unsuccessfully, but he did it), switch. If your opponent switches back, you'll be ready for an answer, or if your opponent takes a guess and is wrong... They keep the box for that much longer.
Gordon: Michelle scored the upset because she utilized the Switches better than Kevin did. Plain and simple.
Chico: True.
Jason: There you go.
Chico: Then there's the deciding factor of game one... Speed.
Gordon: Rule #3. Whatever you do, do it quickly. The worst thing you can do is to stay on a question, waste time, and get it wrong. Either guess at it quickly, or just pass if it's going to be a problem that's going to take too much time.
Chico: Case in point: Ken vs. Victor.
Gordon: Victor Lee actually had the right idea by passing - and passing a lot, but Ken was much quicker, answering the question even before it was completed.
Chico: At one point early on, it looked like it could go either way, then Ken poured on the nitro, while Victor just... stood there.
Jason: Ken can do that
Chico: He has that ability, doesn't he?
Jason: He can talk trash too :-)
Chico: "Not so fast without your teammates, are ya?"
Gordon: According to some of the contestants who were there, they were told that answering the questions midstream was a bad idea. Its bad for the viewer, but for the contestants, its an excellent idea if you want to win the game
Chico: Screw good TV. This is a competition. You are there to win, by any means necessary... and legal, of course.
Gordon: The questions, by the way, are posted across from the player on a teleprompter, so they can read the question before Pat reads it, and the speed readers, like Ken, will have a huge advantage.
Chico: So rule #4... Helps to be a speed reader.
Gordon: It does. It also helps to have that sort of experience. I also think that Michelle had an advantage. If you think about it, this format is almost exactly like the format in The Weakest Link, a game that Michelle won over $100,000 in.
Jason: There you go.
Chico: A fact that Dennis and Amanda would NOT let us forget.
Gordon: True, but he's absolutely right. Kevin and the other Millionaire, 21 and Greed players had no time limit on how long they can answer a question, so they may not have the same speed gear that Michelle and the Jeopardy players have.
Jason: Speed is the difference here.
Gordon: Rule #5 - Be well-rounded. Sure trivia is important, but the numbers and logic rounds are fun because not everyone is going to be used to that sort
of stuff.
Chico: Unless you're a fan of Countdown... Lingo.... that sort of thing. I said it before. This is even keel. You have sixteen players of varying pedigrees going at it. The BEST players will be able to take any game and make it their own.
Gordon: Actually, I disagree with even keel. The advantage here will go to people who are educators or who are used to crosswords and word games. What does Michelle do?
Chico: She's a bodybuilder.
Gordon: Before that, silly
Chico: Didn't see teach?
Gordon: When she was on the Weakest Link, Michelle was...a teacher's aide.
Chico: Thought something to that effect.
Gordon: Michelle, Ken Jen, Brad, and Nancy all have teaching experience. Ogi is fresh out of college.
Chico: And who did Alex Trebek say are the best Jeopardy! players? Teachers... students... lawyers. Think about that.
Gordon: You also have 2 people from the armed forces in this tournament - Frank Spangenberg and David Legler. Its a pity that they go against each other in the first round.
Chico: Crazy, isn't it? Rule #6... this is almost contrary... but pay no attention to your clock. Just concentrate on your speed.
Gordon: I think you need to pay attention to not your clock, but the OPPONENTS clock. If they are in the red zone and you have a huge margin of time left, it may be worth it to blow a Switch or 2 to knock them out of the game and get a nice lead into the final round.
Chico: Absolutely. Last round is where it all counts and you'll need all the help you can get. Then remember... never mind your clock, just concentrate on doing your thing as quickly as possible.
Chico: Okay, we could go on and on about this show and how to win it and how we all wish we were playing it, but we have two more reviews to get through. So let's grade. Gordon?
Gordon: I love the premise to this game. I think The Good is the players, which are great, and the questions which are challenging enough to play along but not too ridiculously hard.
Jason: Critics excluded :P
Gordon: And as to the critics who thought that this game was hard, I'll say that it's no excuse to fault a game to excuse the intelligence level of society.
Jason: Amen, Gordon...Amen.
Chico: Oh yeah. There are real Gomers out there.. Most work in network television :-D Speaking of which, the bad... burying this show on a Saturday.
Jason: And Sunday.
Chico: Sunday, I can dig, but Saturday?
Gordon: It's not to say that this game doesn't have any faults. If you get a 30 second lead into the final round, the game is over. There needs to be a way for a trailing player to come back.
Chico: I think that's where the extra switch comes in.
Gordon: Fault #2, the Switch Back option. If you have more switches than your opponent, then you can switch it right back. That switch back option should be voided. You have to answer the question. That gives a better chance for players to come back.
Chico: Why's that? I mean, it worked on Double Dare, right?
Gordon: There's no physical challenge in Grand Slam - nor would I want to see certain people in a Physical Challenge.
Chico: Yeah, but enough about Ken Jennings in a speedo.
Gordon: Uh...no.
Jason: Way no
Gordon: The people in the booth are ok, but I'm wondering why Bil Dwyer and Zach Selwyn are not in there.
Chico: I think Bil and Zach are good for one bit of schtick... but Dennis and Amanda are good for another. This could fall under "another".
Gordon: Amanda brings NOTHING to the role (except her breasts) while Dennis looks uncomfortable in there.
Chico: I think she does well with what little analysis she is able to do. But that's just me.
Jason: It's called eye candy :-)
Chico: I mean, she's seen this sort of game before. She knows more than she's letting on.
Gordon: I would have like to see  her be...and yes, this is a stretch...intelligent.
Chico: Well, it's one show. Let's see what she does with the other seven. Please be intelligent. I can only like Dennis Miller for so long... and this is coming from someone who saw all of the Dennis Miller shows when he was a kid.
Gordon: I think she will be better, but I would have love to have seen experienced game show hosts - hosts who may have hosted these players before - be up there. Could you imagine the drool if you would have seen Alex Trebek/Meredith Vieiera hosting this?
Chico: I could... but do they have the thunderdrome quality?
Jason: Not sure.
Gordon: What about Todd Newton/Chuck Woolery/Shandi Finnessey? Now THAT is a good Todd Newton vehicle that I would have loved to see him in.
Chico: Although I will imagine the Chuckles and Shandi combination.... on second thought...
Gordon: I have to take points off, but the gameplay is excellent and I like this show - a lot. A-
Chico: Jason?
Jason: I love my smart shows...but the banter is not that great...A-.
Chico: The best quiz show of the summer. Not the best show of the summer... Thank you NBC... but what the hell, I like it. A- So this is a definite "if-you-don't-watch-you're-laaaaaame" game. Second premiere of note... MURDER!
Jason: NOOOOO Not Murder.
Gordon: This is also a 'Smart Game', but its a game based on detective skills instead of trivia skills.
Chico: Yes, murder. It basically puts the CSI syndrome to the test. Players collect clues to solve real cases.
Gordon: A re-enactment of a real crime has taken place, complete with gore and bodies. Two teams have to figure out who out of 3 suspects did it and why.
Chico: The good... talk about production values. There's prop clues... and blood... and bodies... and blood. You can tell they were really pushing the envelope with this.
Gordon: Amazing production values on this level of show. The gore and guts are there for a reason, in CSI analysis. Once again, I'm going to disagree with the critics who complain about the excess. This is real-life CSI work. When you shoot someone in the head, you don't get lollipops and daisies pouring out of the body.
Chico: No, that's only if it's hanging on your ceiling at your quinceañera and you hit it really hard...Seriously, I have to agree. I've seen crime scenes once or twice and I can attest that this is an accurate portrayal of a fictional portrayal of an accurate portrayal. But plenty of product...And you have to be product heavy on a show like this. I remember Murder in Small Town X back in 2001. Incredibly product heavy.
Gordon: True. I also like the fact that it's a 'smart show'. The facts are all there, but they are only there if you can find them, buried in a sea of misdirection and red herrings. The fact that the teams have to 'think' about it is great for someone who is tired of 'pick a box and win a million' games.
Chico: Nothing against picking boxes of course. But yeah, we like to think once in a while, too.
Jason: Do we? :-)
Chico: YES.
Gordon: Uh...yeah. lol
Jason: I do
Chico: If I had to think of something bad... Tommy Le Noir is a little bit... err.. droll, is it? Of course you can't have any emotion when you're telling your crew to pick up clues covered in the victim's blood.
Gordon: There's no real room for people jumping around and having a party. That being said, you don't need it. They are trying to recreate the CSI feel, and they have achieved it.
Chico: Yep.
Jason: This is a show that is supposed to be lowkey.
Chico: It almost bastes itself in said feel.
Gordon: It's not for everyone's tastes, but it's for mine. I came in thinking that this was going to be a hokey mess, but they pull it off.
Chico: Again, not for everyone, but hey... I like it. Grades?
Gordon: I don't believe that I am doing this, but I am going to grade this over Grand Slam. The only flaw is that the editing could be better and maybe a better way to show who is on what team, but that is a very minor squabble. This is an addicting show that doesn't have any visible flaws. Its not everyone's cup of tea, but it is mine. A.
Chico: I can see Spike's audience getting into this. And paired with CSI? Let's make this show happen. A.
Gordon: Chico, I'm scared.
Chico: What's wrong, dude?
Gordon: We've agreed exactly twice so far.
Chico: Let's see how we fare with the Fast Money MBA Challenge. You like Quiz Bowl, right?
Gordon: I do
Jason: I was on a quiz bowl team.
Chico: You like the ethereal air of The Apprentice, right?
Gordon: I do
Jason: When it was done right, yes.
Chico: Well, here you go. MBA candidates take on each other in teams of four in a single elimination College-Bowl style tournament. At the end of the rainbow, a pot of gold, $200,000.
Jason: $50,000 a person.
Chico: And it's hosted for no other reason than he was there... by Dylan Ratigan.
Gordon: Who?
Jason: Yes, who?
Chico: He hosts Closing Bell on CNBC and the original "Fast Money" show.
Gordon: Your thoughts, Chairman?
Chico: Well, the competition is barebones quiz bowl, buzz in before the other guy, answer questions correctly. It's as primal as mental combat gets. But then, I'm old school.. which is ironic because I'm the youngest, but hey, that's how I roll.
Jason: and the subject is as dry as the Sahara.
Gordon: Its another 'smart show' and although it isn't my cup of tea, I got into it.
Chico: My only  fault... is with Dylan. He kept things moving, no doubt... but while most first-time hosts are as flat at plywood... He was as flat... and as heavy handed... as sheet metal.
Gordon: I agree. With a dry show, the last thing you want is a dry host. You needed someone to counter-act that and Dylan isn't it. I would have loved to see a Suze Orman type - or even a Jim Cramer type - host this one.
Chico: I can see Suze Orman. I can see Jim Cramer. I can't see Dylan Ratigan.
Gordon: Heck, stick Dennis Miller in that role.
Chico: The very idea that the two of you don't even know who he is... it frightens me.
Gordon: Well, the show isn't tailored to me. The show is tailored to the business acumen of people who like a business game show, and in that aspect, it delivers.
Chico: That and people who are just into commerce and industry. Of course, you don't have to be into that sort of thing to enjoy it, but hey... why take chances.
Gordon: Right. Your grade, Mr. Chairman?
Chico: I'm going to give it a B, only because it's better to watch than Don't Forget the Lyrics. Which, seven episodes in... isn't a hard feat to accomplish.
Jason: Too dry for me. And I love quiz Bowl. B-
Gordon: It doesn't bring anything new to the table, and the host choice is questionable, but it's a solid game if you remember the College Bowls of old and if it turns you on. Quite frankly, its something if I was channel surfing and found it, I would stick around and watch the end of it, if only to learn something. B.
Chico: And in the end, isn't that what the game show is about?
Jason: True.
Chico: We liked all three.
Jason: Hey, we like what we like.
Gordon: We agreed on all 3 shows, Chico...Wha?
Chico: ... Umm.. Gosh, I don't know what to say...Should we be scared?
Jason: Maybe it's my hayfever medicine.
Chico: So tell us, Gordon, what have we learned in the Big Brother House?... that the houseguests may or may not have learned?
Gordon: So what have we learned? We learned to not make yourself a target. Dick...has not learned that rule, as his tirades around the house have now spurned everyone to vote him out. Fortunately for Dick, it's his daughter Danielle who has won the Head of Household competition, and once again, Jen and Kail (who have both been targets since the pennant chases begun) are back on the block.
Jason: Will Jen finally voted out - like we want?
Gordon: No, because like every other time, Jen wins the veto, guaranteeing that we'll get another week of vapidness in the house.
Chico: AGAIN?!
Gordon: Again.
Jason: Damn.
Chico: This is getting more repetitive than Julie Chen's "But first" montage.
Gordon: There's only one person left in the Mrs. Robinson alliance left - Zach. He looks like the choice to go up...HOWEVER...there has been some talk to backdoor Eric.
Chico: No!
Jason: Not him!
Chico: He's the only sane one left!
Jason: He is America's Player.
Chico: By God no!
Gordon: The problem is that Dick figured out correctly that Eric is the person who has been voting against the group
Chico: Whoa.
Jason: oh boy
Gordon: He doesn't know that Eric is doing it because America wants him to, but if he can convince everyone else, then Eric is in deep doo doo. If he can do it, than once again, all of the twists will be played out long before the half-way mark of the show.
Jason: Awwww.
Chico: Bad players. No home game.
Gordon: The problem for Dick is that he has antagonized everyone in the house, so they may be more fixated to get him out first.
Chico: End result.. Dick's out. Daniele's in.
Jason: Pretty much
Gordon: We'll see what happens here.
Gordon: Also on the bad boy list - Dustin, who took goodies instead of securing the Veto, which allowed Kail to stay in the house and Nick removed from the house.
Chico: Guess we'll see what happens.
Gordon: Also being booted this week - Chico's lost brother.
Chico: You mean Man-Spears?
Jason: Poor Man-Kira
Gordon: Yes folks, Britney Alexander did not get enough votes to make the Top 10. So Chico, why did your brother not make the Top 10?
Chico: First of all.. I don't claim him... Second of all.. he's a joke, a caricature.
Gordon: I actually thought he was more entertaining than 2 of the acts who DID get in
Chico: And let's face it. This show, although good.. doesn't have the pull of an American Idol to skew the outcome. As for the two acts that were less entertaining.. well, there's already going to be two, that's just law of averages.
Gordon: I blame Vote for the Worst for not giving Man-Spears enough love. Terry Fator - deserved to get in. Calypso Tumblers - deserved to get in. Cas Haley - deserved to get in. Then there were The Duttons and Jason Pritchett - did they get in because the deserved it, or because all you have left to vote on was Britney and acts that didn't perform up to snuff?
Jason: The latter...the act qualities were not up to snuff this year
Chico: Yeah, what Jason said
Jason: I mean there was no GOOD water cooler act this year.
Chico: ... There really isn't.
Gordon: Of the 5 who didn't get in - Faultline, 2nd Story Guys, Southern Girl, Popovich Pet Theater, and Chico's brother, who should be in the Top 10?
Chico: Fault Line
Gordon: Agreed. They did not have a great performance, but I thought the Fault Line should have gotten in. Even Britney would have been more entertaining than Celtic Spring 2007, who proves to us why they shouldn't be there by a half-hearted Devil Went Down to Georgia. At least Jason Pritchett somewhat redeems himself
Chico: And Cas Haley? He ain't chopped liver neither.
Gordon: Cas and Julienne Irwin are probably the people to beat, followed very closely by Terry Fator and Butterscotch.
Chico: It's going to be an...adequate final. And I can honestly say that. Meanwhile, I have the sensation of next season... The Singing Hamsters! And their vocal percussionist... Eve.
Gordon: Actually Chico...I got a letter from the Hamster Union
Chico: Really? What do they say?
Gordon: They are no longer content with just singing. They want a contingency to direct decent but unwatched 5 minute movies, and another contingency to tell jokes that we have heard at least 20 times. And they want a Text-In Contest to determine which Hamster has pressed the 'X' buzzer.
Chico: How about they get to judge which out of five unemployed college students gets $25,000?
Gordon: I'll relay it by them and see what they think
Chico: Meanwhile, the Choppler is ready for your command, Gordon.
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. First story, Gordon?
Gordon: Who wants a date with a band comprised of 5th graders?
Jason: Huh?
Gordon: Though not at the same time
Chico: Huh?

Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader moves to September 13th, but it now airs on both Thursdays and Fridays. Thursdays its on at 8pm leading into Don't Forget the Lyrics (which will now be expanded to an hour) and Friday its the lead-in - but only until we get The Search for the Great American Band, when it shows up on October 19th. After 4 weeks, 5th grader will only be shown on Thursday.

Jason: Schedules are flexible and subject to change and ratings.
Chico: Can it survive the regular grind of the fall sked? I think so. Lyrics... ehhh... too soon to tell.
Jason: Lyrics...not sure.
Gordon: I think it will have no problems on Thursday/Friday. Im much more concerned about Lyrics going up against the heavies on a Thursday at 9pm slot.
Chico: Agreed. Grey's... CSI.
Gordon: I'm also concerned about Great American Band. The last band competition - StarTomorrow, which got a miserable 1.7 on NBC when it aired the premiere show there before going off to internet land Now the contest itself was supposed to be an internet competition, but you don't want the premiere show on TV showing up with a 1.7.
Jason: However....with Rock Band coming out on the Xbox 360 and being the favorite of E3....I am going to give this show the  benefit of the doubt.
Gordon: As FOX is sticking this show on Fridays, I don't even think that FOX is giving this show the benefit of the doubt.
Chico: That, and the Idol producers are behind it, so they'll pimp like crazy. Next, sad news from Pirate Master...

35-year old Cheryl Kosewicz, a contestant on the now-canceled CBS series "Pirate Master", was found dead in her home on Friday just two months after her boyfriend took his own life. Authorities believe it to be a suicilde, but an investigation is ongoing... She will be missed...

Jason: oh my goodness.
Chico: A moment, please...

(silence)

Chico: Thank you. Next?
Gordon: Next one... The Haterade Column this week goes clearly to Brian Dunkleman, who apparently still has issues over the whole American Idol thing.
Jason: You are not kidding.
Chico: Monkey. On. Shoulder.

Dunkleman, who's career is now relegated to cameo appearances and weekly comic stints, used one such stint to hope that Ryan Seacrest gets AIDS and adding that Seacrest probably already has the disease.

Jason: Brian...not funny. Just not funny. Stupid.
Chico: Dude. No.
Gordon: According to TMZ.com, "If wishes came true Ryan Seacrest would have AIDS," the laughter stopped faster than it does at a screening of "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry."
Chico: No, Dunkelman, that's a BAD DUNKELMAN!
Jason: Oh. Snap.
Chico: Zing.
Jason: As someone who lost a friend to AIDS...that was just sick and wrong.
Chico: Absolutely.
Gordon: Not only does that diatribe possibly take Seacrest right out of the closet, it also is a slap in the face to people who have AIDS - and there are plenty of HIV+ people out there who are not gay. AIDS is not a gay disease, folks.
Chico: That's right. See, we're all in the fight together, against the disease, not the person. Remember that.
Jason: Bingo.
Chico: Okay, moving on to happier news... if you have a DS or a PC. Sorry, Gordon.
Gordon: Grumble.

Hey, are you a fan of Are You Smarter Than Brian Dunk... err, a 5th Grader? THQ is developing a game for the DS and the PC to be released this fall.

Jason: Cool.
Chico: The game features 3500 questions from the show, as well as Jeff
Foxworthy berating you.
Jason: Any cheat sheet?
Chico: The cheats on the show will be in the game, but that's it.
Jason: Ok
Chico: It's $30 for the PC, $20 for the DS.
Jason: Not bad.
Gordon: Does it come for MAC?
Chico: Not yet, no. Or if you think technology is the work of the Nintendo devil.... there's a home game out. Complete with fake money. Review next week. We promise. Stop laughing at me.
Gordon: (snickers) sorry
Chico: *buries head in pillow*
Jason: (chuckles) ok
Chico: *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"*
Gordon: We'll stay in FOX mode as we bring out the Casting Couch.

FOX will host open auditions for the culinary competition series Hell's Kitchen. Aspiring chefs should consider attending one of the upcoming open auditions and please note you will not be demonstrating your cooking skills; an interview session will take place instead and interested cooks should come prepared to discuss their experience and why they want to appear on the show. Applicants must be at least 21 years of age, U.S. citizens and come with a completed application form. Applications, information and the full list of open audition cities and exact contact information for each can be found at www.fox.com/Hellskitchen.

Gordon: Note that the cooking skills will NOT be put to the test here. Does
the fact that they are looking for personality over skill surprise anyone here?
Chico: Why absolutely not, Gordon!
Jason: Not a one
Chico: If they did that, it would be Top Chef!
Jason: Or Next Food Network Star!
Gordon: You don't think that they are purposely looking for non-pro chefs, do you?
Chico: Why of course they are. To create the conflict.
Jason: Bingo.
Chico: And to give Gordon Ramsay something to take his aggression out on.
Jason: Pretty much.
Chico: Let's just say you can't cook, but you have personality... and you're taller than me. And you're female. And you live in either Seattle or Raleigh.
Gordon: And you're young.
Chico: Can't forget that.
Jason: and amazingly hot...

Top Model is casting for their upcoming season. The Raleigh open call is August 11 (at NC Central), while the Seattle open call is on August 15. Go to the CW's website for all of the Top Model auditioning schedule at cwtv.com.

Gordon: As for the hoes this week...

Doug Davidson talks about Drew Carey and approves, Dennis Miller talks about Grand Slam and approves, the Biggest Loser Season 5 contestants are revealed...

Gordon: Now a point on this.
Jason: ok
Gordon: This is the 4th time that they are doing this competition style, but Season 3 was more of a series of 1 episode one shots, so this is actually Season 5, not 4.
Chico: Good math, Gordon.
Gordon: And there are already ads out for Pairs of contestants for the next season of The Biggest Loser, so NBC is obviously expecting the ratings for this edition to be worthy of a renewal.
Jason: So Season 6 is a done deal.
Gordon: 5/6, assuming that the ratings dont go in the toilet, yes.
Chico: We all remember the debacle that was the Ballbreakers season 2 calls.
Gordon: Ugh...

Speaking of which, Sal Masekela is doing both the X Games and the Daily 10. Meanwhile, Simon Cowell is producing a fictional movie about a singing competition. Does this sound familiar?

Chico: As for Simon Cowell's movie... Wow, it's American Dreamz... without the president... and even LESS funny!
Jason: oh boy.

Corey Clark is jailed for Drug Possession. Oopsie.

Jason: Corey Corey....
Gordon: But none of those are the Hoes of the week. This week, we got...Media Ho on Media Ho love!
Chico: ... I think I know where this is going.
Gordon: Did anyone see the first episode of Dr. 90210?
Chico: That would be where you were going.
Gordon: Yep.
Chico: Imagine one reality show... two game show hoes. Will Kirby's on the show now..
Gordon: Dr. Will Kirby of Big Brother fame.
Chico: ...and his new patient... holds briefcase #21.
Gordon: Tameka of Deal or No Deal fame.
Jason: What was she getting?
Gordon: She was getting rid of a back tattoo that was costing her modeling gigs
Chico: And boobies.
Gordon: So basically, her suitcases felt the power of financial inflation :-)
Chico: *rimshot*
Jason: Bingo
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: After that, I HAVE to go global. First trip will be.... to Canada.

If we haven't satiated your thirst for comic antics involving 5th Graders, you'll love this. Are You Smarter is planning a Canadian edition.

Jason: Nice, eh.
Chico: Five shows will be taped at the Global studios in Toronto, but Jeff Foxworthy will not host it. Makes sense. Canadian show has to have Canadian talent. I think it's law there.
Jason: I agree.
Chico: Which would explain the improbable rise of one Rod Charlebois. From one end of the commonwealth to the other...

So You Think You Can Dance is coming to Australia, with Bree Amer as host.

Chico: That version  will launch next year.
Jason: Cool.
Gordon: That's cool - but we need to take one more trip
Chico: Where that?
Gordon: We go to the UK, for some good news...and some bad news.
Jason: The good news....

Identity is coming to the UK.

Jason: Cool :-)
Chico: Let me guess... Donny Osmond is signed to host.
Gordon: That would be correct
Chico: Yeah, that's been in the books now.
Gordon: The bad news...

National Bingo Night is ALSO going to the UK - AND Australia.

Chico: Ooooooohhhhh!
Jason: NO BINGO!
Gordon: As representatives of the states, we would like to apologize in advance to David Howell and anyone else who is going to be unfortunate enough to see this mess.
Jason: Actually there is one more big news on the UK Game Show Scandal

Channel 4 is doing away with all of its phone-ins except those involving Big Brother and Deal or No Deal.

Jason: Here is the news link - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6926148.stm It's a bad time for fans of interactive quizzes over there
Gordon: And if you've seen Quiznation lately, it's a bad time for interactive quizzes over here as well.
Chico: See, Game shows are like politics. Better when they're conducted out in the open and honestly. Confidence is going to take a serious hit.
Gordon: I agree with that. And 4 games for 2 hours isn't going to bode well for Quiznation either.
Jason: No.
Gordon: and with that Brainvision is over. Shut it down.
Jason: (shutting down)
Chico: Okay, a new game and an old fave are next, but first.. I have news..
Gordon: Let's hear it
Chico: 43% of the voting public APPROVE of Drew Carey as the new host of TPIR. 41% kinda approve. 11% are broke even. 5%... are Barker's marks. Double Overbid. This week's question also involves Drew Carey.

How do you think Drew Carey will fare on the "Power of 10"? a 10 a 7 a 5 a 2 a -15

Chico: Which is worse than zero. You have to try to get a -15. JD Roberto... Talking to you. Results next week. Up next, we go to court, and to the theatre. This is We Love to Interrupt, celebrating five years of... those ... kind of shows.
Jason: There you go

(Brainvision has been powered today by GSNN Pictures' DVD release of Jeopardy! Summer Games: The Musical!... It's like "High School Musical"... except people actually get it... and that kid from Thunderbirds isn't in it. yeah, you know the one.)

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