August 6, 2007

Gordon: Any duets by Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini in it?
Jason: Or Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens?
Chico: No, and no. And yes, J, that would be the kid from Thunderbirds.
Gordon: Check out ESPN , NOW
 
(WLTI watches 'That Was Then', featuring Bracketville with the Sklar Brothers)

Chico: Sklar! They're totally ripping our bit.
Jason: ESPN ripped our bit with "Who's Now" weeks ago.
Chico: Or "Who's Then". Right now.
Gordon: We would like to thank ESPN for completely ripping us off...if not for the fact that we ripped off ESPN's PTI format first.
Chico: Speaking of ripping off, it's time to rip off the People's Court.
Gordon: And we'd like to congratulate Richard Hatch for getting to the finals of the 'Who's Then' Bracket.
Chico: Only to be beaten by Steven Seagal.
Jason: lol
Chico: Booo.
Jason: lol
Chico: Okay, is the jury ready? I have cases.. you must try them. Gordon... you get to hand out punishment as my trusty enforcer.
Gordon: Yes, your honor. First case?
Chico: Okay, first case...

ACCUSED: FOX.

Jason: Charge?
Chico: CHARGE... Say it with me now.

Everyone: MAKIN' COP-AYS!!

Gordon: Now what?
Chico: This from many a fan, who believe that there's a machine that takes a perfectly good concept and completely Foxifies it by a) structuring it around a matrix more or less like 5th Grader, and b) inserting Mark Thompson where...available. And c) "Coming up on... " We think it's underneath Rupert's house. What say  you, jury?
Gordon: Well there's no question that it's a musical 5th grader clone.
Chico: It's also a clone of the Singing Bee.
Jason: Yes
Gordon: However, there's enough original stuff in the combination that it's not a complete clone. So I'm going to say Not Guilty.
Jason: Well, I agree with Gordon. Not Guilty.
Chico: It's just a matter of interpretation.
Jason: But Fox has to watch themselves.
Chico: I would've said guilty simply for the fact that one would not have existed were it not for the other. And you have to admit... every show that Fox produces either looks like Idol or 5th Grader and that's pretty scary.
Gordon: It's like a hybrid clone - its a clone of many different concepts, but its not an exact clone of something.
Jason: Correct. Hybrid clone-not a full copy.
Gordon: So that itself doesn't make it a clone
Chico: But it's not necessarily original.
Gordon: Its definitely not original, but its not a complete Xerox
Chico: Okay, next case?
Gordon: Next up...

ACCUSED: Mark Burnett.
Charge: Poaching the Cash Cow.

Chico: Evidence?
Gordon: With Pirate 'Survivor on a Boat' Master not even finishing the season on network TV, that can't be looking too good on the new editions of Survivor coming up. Is Burnett about to do the same thing with Survivor that he did with the Apprentice franchise?
Jason: This could be the jump the shark moment. GUILTY.
Chico: I doubt it. It's the same game and it doesn't really show signs of waning on the level of the Apprentice. NOT GUILTY
Gordon: I think that when Burnett stuck 2 apprentices on the air, with Martha Stewart being one of them, that spelled the end of their franchise. You may have called this series the Martha Stewart Survivor. GUILTY!  Sentence?
Jason: Being Cut adrift on the boat with a naked Richard Hatch!
Chico: That's so then :-)
Gordon: JUSTICE! Next case?
Chico: Next case.

ACCUSED: Paula Abdul.
CHARGE: Excessive Media Ho-ing Without a License.

Chico: The evidence: her reaction on her show "Hey Paula"... It's cool. It's cool.
Gordon: Hey Chico!
Jason: What was her reaction?
Chico: The reaction to the news that she had been fired from the "Bratz" movie. Hey Gordon!

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2007/07/23/icymi-upon-learning-that-shes-been-fired-from-a-ridiculous-movie-about-dumb-whore-dolls-paula-abdul-completely-loses-her-sht

Gordon: I think she earned the honor way before that article. Guilty!
Jason: Guilty!
Chico: GUILTY! Sentence?
Jason: To watch Bratz by herself in a locked theater.
Gordon: And then the shows in a 12 hour marathon fest
Chico: JUSTICE! Next?
Gordon: Next one...

ACCUSED: Corey Clark
CHARGE: Visions of Delusional Grandeur, probably caused by the marijuana he had on him when he was charged with drug possession.

Jason: Guilty, man.
Chico: GUILTY!
Gordon: Guilty, but I feel sort of sorry for him. Here's someone who had a lot of talent and then flushed it right down the toilet.
Chico: He just wanted to be famous. Simple
Gordon: True. Sentence?
Chico: He gets all the attention he wants... by a 6'7 350 lb. American Idol fan named Bubba who wants to dance with him.
Jason: lol
Chico: (Ralph Wiggum) I like men now. (/RW)
Gordon: Can we throw Brian Dunkleman in there for a 3some?
Chico: I'll allow it.
Jason: Oh boy :-)
Chico: Next case?
Gordon: Next one...

ACCUSED: Jael Strauss, of America's Next Top Model fame.
Charge: Indecent Exposure

Chico: And no, this doesn't involve 50 Cent and a pool. It involves a DVD of nude women, that this former Top Model happened to be a part of.
Jason: And wasn't she 16 when she was naked?
Chico: Top Model finalist has filed an invasion-of-privacy lawsuit against two men, including her former talent agent, who allegedly published racy photographs of her without her permission. Strauss was 16 when the pictures were taken.
Gordon: What is anyone doing taking their clothes off and posing when they are 16? Guilty.
Jason: Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Guilty.
Chico: Guilty! Sentence?
Jason: A Miss Manners book on etiquette. Firmly placed over the head :-)
Chico: Ow!
Gordon: Ok. Last one...

Accused: Fenway Park

Chico: ASTERISK!..oh...Sorry
Jason: charge? :-)

Charge: Pumping steroids into their dating shows.

Gordon: Anyone for Sox Appeal?
Jason: Huh?
Chico: I'll explain this one. NESN has started airing a dating show in which one person chooses from three more who to watch a Sox game with.
Jason: Did Fever Pitch work?...no. GUILTY.
Gordon: We feel bad for the Boston public that has to watch this. Guilty! Sentence?
Chico: Season tickets to the Yankees?
Gordon: Justice!
Chico: This court stands in recess.
Jason: ALL RISE...Court's adjourned.
Chico: And when we return... More playacting. It's a new game after this ... Hang on.
Gordon: We return with... a new game...oooh
Jason: Cool!

(Sponsored by Second Story Roof cleaning units. We clean roofs because....that's now really all we can use the stilts for)

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