June 18, 2007

Chico:  Today on WLTI... Bob Barker... last week's media ho of the week... is now undoubtedly the most popular man in America right now.  The retirement... one day after.
Gordon: Maybe.
Chico:  That and more as we rundown the week that was. From somewhere in America... the We <3 Bob edition... of WLTI... is on!
Gordon: Yay! Gordon Pepper here, and we have two showcases. Showcase #1 - Things we can find in Brooklyn, Mr. Jason Block.
Jason:    Hello!
Gordon: And Showcase #2 - Things that have been fortunate enough to touch Bob Barker's microphone...get your minds out of the gutter, people...Mr. Travis Schario!
Travis:   Hello, one and all.  I'm Splendido.
Chico:  As well you should be.
Jason:    BTW...the mike that was touched by Bob went for $19,919.08 for his charity.
Chico:  Someone's a very happy man.
Gordon: Bob Barker must also be a happy man, as he racks up two more Emmys as TPIR sweeps the game show awards at the Daytime Emmys.
Jason:    19 in total. You know, I never asked...who ever the host may be...will Barker still have a producer's credit?
Chico:  That's a good question.
Travis:   Perhaps a consultant, but not producer, no.  I believe they will either move Roger Dobkowitz up to Executive Producer (which would make sense) or bring someone in from the company to be EP (which would be disastrous).
Jason:    The Dob should be EP.  No doubt.
Chico:  I move for the Dob. One, it makes sense, and 2... He knows more of the show than anyone except Bob.
Travis:   He's the only other one that's been there since Day 1.
Chico:  Besides, if you go corporate, you run the risk of losing the show's soul.
Jason:    Which is what you felt last night...and yesterday morning.
Chico:  Absolutely.
Travis:   Indeed.
Chico:  Everything that was right with the show, you saw in those 60 minutes of television.
Gordon: Big cars, people who waited outside the studio for almost a week, and the feeling of one big happy family. Not to mention a $140,000+ Payday
Chico:  Let's have a brief rundown of Friday's show. Can I get the keys to the Big Board, daddy?
Gordon: Yes son, but try to not run Travis over with it.
Travis:   Hey hey hey

Chico:  The topic: Bob's Final Bow (or "How to Create a Non-Finale When Your Name Isn't David Chase").  1) Confetti Man. Completely unofficial, was just there for the party.
Travis:   Just like the premiere...and it was the same guy too
Jason:    2) Million Dollar Special-Style Camera Shots
Chico:  Not just for use on primetime. Those aerial jibs must be expensive, and speaking of...  3) $40,000 Lucky Seven.
Jason:    That was a cheap corvette. Double Prices for a Chrysler 300. 
Travis:   I'm actually glad that Vette was cheap...means I still hold the daytime Lucky Seven win record.  Boo yah.
Jason:    Boo yah indeed.
Gordon: What about a $90,000 dollar showcase?
Chico:  That's some serious coin indeed.
Gordon: But the best Price is Right moment may not have come from that show.
Travis:   It's true
Gordon: We had this week - and quite fitting, too - a Double Showcase Win!
Jason:    Yeah, on Monday. Two great bids.... one guy was 800 off...and they went to him first.
Travis:   Decent bids all week, seemed like.
Jason:    I was like... she got double...and she was 49 off winning both. There was also a very good article in this week's EW about Price.
Chico:  EW always loved their game shows. What was the gist of it?
Jason:    Basically it was a historical review with interviews with Barker, Fred Silverman, Anitra Ford, The Dob, Jay Wolpert, The first Showcase winner (Paul Levine), going through how it came to be in 1972. Very good stuff.
Travis:   This week's EW, you say?  Must pick up.
Jason:    It's the one Dated June 15...with George Clooney and Brad Pitt on the cover...it may be off the stands by now.
Travis:   Dang... maybe it's on their site
Jason:    http://www.ew.com and do the search from there.
Travis:   Working...
Jason:    Its called "The Right Stuff"
Travis:   Wait...found it.
Chico:  It's the same one in the mag, right?
Travis:   yep
Chico:  Cool. Meanwhile, Jason... there was something you were going to say
about the Emmys?
Jason:    Well, Bob put Rosie in the mix big time last night.

Travis:   *thud* (head hit keyboard)
Jason:    I am with you, Travis
Gordon: Bob may have taken one too many shots to the head with the Plinko stick
Chico:  Well, Dane Cook loves the PIR too, but you don't see him lobbying for the gig.
Jason:    so do I.
Chico:  Or Bob endorsing him. It takes more than just love to carry the show. You picking up what I'm putting down here?
Travis:   I'm picking it up.
Jason:    That's from the AP story this morning.
Gordon: That could also have been Bob trying to be nicey-nice.
Chico:  Could be.
Travis:   Definitely could be
Jason:    Yes. I think it was Bob being political in the entertainment world.
Chico:  But then again, Rosie's been using every trick in the book to make it known that she wants the job.  Kinda disheartening, isn't it?
Travis:   Makes me sad. They'd have to open the door wider at the beginning to get her thru it.  LIke two or three panels, instead of just the one and a half.
Jason:    Ouch.
Gordon: Playing Devil's Advocate here for a second - she IS a hot commodity, and she would definitely do a better job than...oh...Ricki Lake?
Jason:    True. But anyone could.
Chico:  Except Kevin Federline.
Jason:    Travis could do a better job.
Travis:   And have.
Gordon: But seriously, there's no question that Rosie could do a good job on the show. I don't think we're complaining as much about that than as what politically what Rosie has stood for and who she has bulldozed over.
Jason:    Agreed.
Chico:  She's a wee overzealous. That's my main thing.
Travis:   true dat
Jason:    We just want someone who a) respects the legacy of the show, b) knows the game and c) and is a good host. And not just a name.
Gordon: I do think Rosie fits all of that...until she wanted to overhaul the Barkers Beauties concept. That would severely violate the A rule.
Jason:    And wanted to toss Rich Fields out with the Bathwater.
Chico:  .... hoo boy.
Jason:    You don't change the show to fit you.
Chico:  No doubt Rosie would do the trick, but could those things that have been popping up over the past few weeks hurt her?
Gordon: I think a lot of it has hurt her. I think her getting into it with Elizabeth has hurt her. Her trying to sell herself as a lesbian over the Bible Belt certainly isn't going to help her, and her wanting to overturn the current show is certainly not going to give her any favors with the powers that be. I thought she wanted to be host, not host and EP.
Travis:   So I say (in Cartman voice), "No Rosie.  That's a bad Rosie."
Gordon: If she got the hosting job and then overturned the show, she would be out of their faster than Paris Hilton in house arrest.
Chico:  Oh yeah. Roger would have to keep her on a TIGHT leash.
Jason:    Which Barbara Walters tried to do...and look what happened.
Gordon: And I don't think that the Dob wants to add Babysitter to his job description
Jason:    I dont think so.
Chico:  Umm.... No.
Travis:   T'would be bad
Gordon: However, we do have someone who will be jumping into the game show syndication market. The name - Howie Mandel.
Jason:    After a search looking for people to replace Howie Mandel...they found Howie Mandel.  And they threw him several million dollars, as the rumors floating around state.
Chico:  He's pulling Double Duty in 2008, from what I hear.
Gordon: Make it Triple Duty.
Chico:  Triple?
Jason:    Triple?
Gordon: Canadian Deal or No Deal and American Deal or No Deal isn't enough. Now it's time to add Syndicated Deal or No Deal to his list.
Travis:   Yeesh
Jason:    Oh  yeah. What about sleep or no sleep?
Gordon: NO SLEEP! (Slams box)
Chico:  Welcome to my world... HAVE A FRUIT ROLL-UP.
Jason:    With the money he is making he can buy a case of fruit roll-ups.
Chico:  So now they have a date and a host... but what format will daytime Deal hold and how will that affect the primetime show.
Jason:    While nothing has been announced.... What my opinion of what it might look like is this....  I think it will be half hour...and the budget will be less.   $100,000 at the top.
Travis:   That fits.   But, will it be faster-paced?
Jason:    Yes...one contestant per game. Again, just what I think.  I think it might be a half hour strip show and one less 0 at the end - $100,000. With a potential one contestant per show.
Gordon: I would like to hope that you could squeeze a full game in there.
Chico:  With editing, why not? And besides, it's not the first time someone manned a primetime and daytime version of the same show. That used to be the thing in the 70s.
Jason:    Hmmmm.
Gordon: True, but it seems like it's not only an awful lot of work, but an awful lot of show saturation.
Travis:   Almost too much...especially if NBC affiliates pick it up.
Jason:    Could this be the jump the shark moment of the show?
Chico:  I can see that almost as a given.
Gordon: I don't think it would be the jump the shark moment per se, but I do think they would have to play better than the past few weeks
Chico:  Another crash-and-burn week fueled by a "very special guest"?
Gordon: Well, the burn part is literal, as Dwayne Wade is the guest star. He of the Miami Heat fame.
Chico:  The Dealer... Arthur Joseph...  has the banker in a position of "Bazodee" (Trinidad term for "Being confused") as he is offered season tickets and VIP passes, a signed D-Wade jersey, a 2006 Championship ring with HIS name on it...
Jason:    Damn.
Chico:  a team poster with him in it... VIP passes to next season's video shoot..... and a trip to Trinidad & Tobago for the Heat dedication of a refurbished ball court.
Jason:    WOW!
Gordon: A package worth....
Chico:  $60,700. AND $10,000 in cash.
Gordon: And he...takes it. He does it...for his country. AwwwwBarf
Chico:  Viva Trinidad.
Travis:   What........................ever.
Jason:    That's cool! Another taking of a gift. The first being a pony.
Gordon: Deal or NO Deal has also given away that $80,000 green car atrocity.
Chico:  It's better than a pony.  Next two cases.. $1000 and the million.  Got out at the right time.  No crash, but plenty of burn :)
Gordon: Inside his case - $400
Jason:    That's cool....I preferred the pony myself. He made a great deal.
Chico:  Meanwhile, Howie goes into the Green Room to get the next player..... Jesse Putinanikal... in the Green Room is surprised by Howie.. AND his relatives from India.
Jason:    Nice.
Chico:  He's going to be an American citizen in six months.
Jason:    Again...Nice.
Chico:  Jesse also created a superhero persona of Howie... Dealman ... Umm.. Nice?
Jason:    Dum-Dum-Da! Not so much.
Gordon: However, with Dealman, he gets trumped by...BANKERMAN! And this would be the 'Crash' part, as we see his safety net of $500,000 go bye-bye
Jason:    Bankerman has strong powers.
Chico:  The Dr. Doom to Howie's Mr. Fantastic, as it were.
Gordon: Bankerman is stronger than Dealman. as he leaves $71,000 on the table. Jesse joins the Crash Fan Club as we walks off with $100.
Jason:    Ouch.
Gordon: All Hail BANKERMAN!!!!
Jason:    WHOO-HOO!
Chico:  Dearie...
Gordon: Meanwhile, we have bad comics and bad insults.
Jason:    Yawn.
Chico:  Last Comic Standing returns... to little fanfare.
Gordon: Well, if you stick it up against So You Think You Can Dance, you're going to have problems
Chico:  And Yo Momma returns with... well, a new co-host, but that's pretty much it.
Gordon: How are the insults?
Chico:  There's some originality.. But no real standout joker.
Jason:    Lovely.
Chico:  But then again, this isn't a serial series. There's no need for one, unless you follow it week to week.
Jason:    How bad is the bleeping?
Chico:  ... Not as bad as you think. Watched the whole week of shows, and it was bleeped less than your average ep of Wild'n Out.  But the balance tilted more toward creativity and less toward dirt.
Jason:    Good.
Chico:  Last Comic Standing, though... is all dirt. Not quite the type you bleep out, but the type you WANT to bleep out.
Jason:    And how many comics did we see before this? You know--the semi-pros
Gordon: This is the first episode - and unfortunately, I hoped it was the last episode.
Chico:  I defer to Gordon.
Gordon: Once again, we get the traditional staring of why certain contestants are out and why others are in. Sigh.
Jason:  Yick.
Gordon: Meanwhile, what I found much more entertaining is to try to create a meal consisting of monkfish and rattlesnake.
Jason:    Yummy. Top Chef 3?
Gordon: Yep. A great show gets even more creative and diverse with their chefs and cuisines
Chico:  Top Chef 3 returns to big fanfare.
Jason:    And a new location - Miami
Gordon: Anthony Bourdain joins us for the first challenge, which features 15 chefs going at each other.
Chico:  Entertainment in two languages from what I hear, with Telemundo getting in on the action.
Jason:    He of "No Reservations" fame.
Chico:  Also from what I hear, a new record audience.
Jason:    Both cooking shows are doing amazingly well.
Gordon: Meanwhile Vas O No Vas - Adios
Jason:    Cancelled?
Gordon: I don't know if its cancelled, but its not on this week.
Jason:    Not good.
Chico:  Well, that depends..Gordon, you've seen both versions... Is Hector Sandarti any good compared to Howie?
Gordon: He's good. The problem is that it's just tooooo looooooong. If you think 60 minutes is too long for a contestant, try 90.
Chico:  Augh.
Jason:    The action stops every two seconds for a commercial.
Gordon: And you can't put it up by itself against Sabado Gigante or expect the ratings to recoup if you're sticking it on Saturday afternoons.
Jason:    Don Francisco makes Bob Barker's Popularity look like a wallflower.
Chico:  He's worldwide...
Gordon: So is the Choppler
Chico:  Speaking of which, it's the special time of the week... Choppler ready?
Jason:    Yes...fueled and ready to go!
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico:  Along with the combined resources of the Game Show Newsnet Newsroom, we begin with our lead story... Gordon?
Gordon: Let's talk Peaks and Valleys.

So You Think You Can Dance and America's Got Talent have been leading the pack. Last Comic Standing loses 29% from last year. Pirate Master, who's also been getting buried thanks to So You Think You Can Dance, now moves to Tuesdays after the July premiere of Big Brother.

Gordon: Chico is still hoping that Ninjas would pop out of the boat.
Chico:  They never did.
Jason:    Actually he was looking for Luffy from One Piece.
Gordon: No Luffy. Sorry.
Chico:  And once Joe Don began power-tripping, it was all downhill from there.
Gordon: There's nothing likable here, no real reason to root, and the game play is stagnant.
Jason:    And it's Survivor on a boat. Sorry.
Chico:  So Mark Burnett... you're 0-for-2 this summer...   The good news... 5th Grader's still good.
Jason:    (grumble)
Chico:  And you're married to Roma Downey. Who you get to have the relations with...
Gordon: The only think that Burnett is doing that's pirate-like is pirating ideas off of other shows.
Chico:  Yarrr.
Gordon: Next article, Captain Chico?
Chico:  Next story... Remember when the Donald said that he was moving onto a new TV venture?
Jason:    Yes...we know what it is now.
Chico:  VH1 beat him to it. Nevertheless..

Donald Trump is in talks with Fox to develop a show called "Lady or the Tramp", which would turn hard-partying girls over to a charm school in order to turn them into ladies.  As is every other reality show on television, it's loosely based on a British concept.

Jason:    Which sounds REALLY familiar.
Gordon: But at least Mark Burnett doesn't have to be associated with that...hopefully.
Chico:  Could be worse.  Could have Mike Fleiss' name on it.
Jason:    lol
Chico:  Now that's just me being hateful again.
Gordon: Could be worse. Could have a Haterade Logo next to it
Chico:  I think it might already.
Jason:    Glass at the ready...one shot or two?
Gordon: 1, but lets play a game
Jason:    Ok!
Chico:  I love games.
Gordon: What does it mean when you cancel a tour, promising that the new tour will promise you a more intimate venue?
Jason:    The tickets aren't selling and you are covering your backside.
Gordon: Very good, Jason. What usually happens to the manager in this case?
Chico:  *snake* You're Fired.
Jason:    Out on your backside.
Gordon: Yes.

So Kelly Clarkson tour - cancelled. The manager pays the price for it. You have a feeling that her song, which did not get good reviews after hearing it on Idol, may have hurt her here?

Chico:  Didn't get good reviews.. Still a radio hit, though.  So you have that whole "public-to-critics-screw-you" thing going.
Jason:    Well, there has been the Clive v. Kelly rumors and the album is rumored to be not "pop and radio ready".
Chico:  I quote an article: one of the worst mistakes you can make when you're green in your career is to piss Clive Davis off.
Gordon: I wouldn't consider Kelly Clarkson to be green. Still, you should not be arguing with the master in any case.
Chico:  Agreed.. or she may not be going on any more world tours. Time to Go Global..
Jason:    Where's our stop
Chico:  Where else.. Where do you think?
Jason:    The UK
Chico:  Bingo.
Gordon: NO BINGO!
Chico:  And a clash of quiz titans awaits.
Jason:    Do tell.

Chris Tarrant is set to return to daytime small screen against Noel Edmonds' Deal or No Deal with his own show, the Great Pretender.

Jason:    First time in a long time for Tarrant to be on the screen I believe.
Chico:  Since millionaire and TISWAS. But the show is only being described as "a big money alternative to Deal or No Deal." And so far, all we know is that a bluffing element is involved
Gordon: In other words...a clone.
Chico:  Ant & Dec not included.
Jason:    I have some other British News for you.
Chico:  Do tell
Jason:    You know that so far...we haven't had much in the way of talent on AGT2 right?  Well in Britain, through the magic of the interbox and YouTube I have seen two amazing videos from the Britain's Got Talent latest series.
Chico:  And response?
Jason:    Has been nothing short of amazing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En0A8KGMgq8  This girl is 6 and sings amazingly. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEFrQxSzTTQ This is Paul Potts singing Opera from the Semi-Final http://talent.itv.com Is the official site. Amazing stuff.
Gordon: We need British Media hoes!
Chico:  As I was saying, it's time for Gordon to sing the aria from the third movement of "Pimpin' All Over the World".
Gordon: But before we go to the Media Ho Report, I see a big red sofa
Chico:  The second installment of the WLTI Casting Couch.
Jason:    People seem to like it...as over 18,000 people are at the Javits
Center. For the 5th grader casting call.
Gordon: That's neat. I don't think they are going to get 18,000 for this one though...

Natural 9 Entertainment, the producers of the upcoming Fox Reality series The Search for the Next Elvira, will begin looking for a new Mistress of the Dark on Friday, July 13 during an open "casket" call at the Queen Mary in Long Beach, CA. Details on how to participate can be found at www.foxreality.com.

Gordon: The Search for the Next Elvira will premiere on October 13 at 9p. I must say that that's a PERFECT role for Jason.
Jason:    Hey...I dont have the man boobs thank you. 
Gordon: I beg to differ
Jason:  I have been losing weight.
Chico:  OR!
Jason:    Ok ok

If Elvira's not your bag, NBC is holding casting calls for models on DoND

Jason:    Hottie Alert!~
Gordon: Do tell

Southern California... June 26-30. Go to http://www.nbc.com/Casting/#dondModel

Chico:  I know some very lovely women read our column. They can go try out.
Gordon: They may get 18,000 for that one.
Jason:    Oh yeah.
Gordon: As for the hoes...
Chico:  *plays "Pimpin All Over the World"

Possible contestants for next seasons Dancing With the Stars include Jennie Garth and Al Pacino, Trever James gets booted from On The Lot, who will see as their next  guest judge...Wes Craven... Eddie gets takes out of Hell's Kitchen, Clay is the first person gone fro Top Chef, and Ashlee and Ricky get booted from the dance floor on SYTYCD... Rich Fields pledges to stay on The Price is Right next season, while Case Holder Marisa Petroro makes a movie and Don Herbert, AKA Mr. Wizard, who was a panelist on The Hollywood Squares, passes away this week at the age of 89

(silence)

Gordon: But none of them are the Ho of the Week
Jason:    It's not Barker is it?
Chico:  A rare repeat?
Gordon: Of course it is - but this time, he gets this by winning two more Emmys to go along with his collection. Congratulations on a long and illustrious career!
Chico:  *applause*
Jason:    *applause*
Chico:  And one more bit of info before we close it out... Let's get Fully Loaded. Today, it's digital cable.
Jason:    (hic)
Chico:  What's better than Big Brother?
Jason:    Naked people late at night and cursing on Big Brother.
Chico:  Uncensored cussin' naked Big Brother.
Jason:    Hopefully some nookie too.

That's what's gonna happen this summer as Showtime, which is owned by CBS Corp., airs "Big Brother After Dark".

Jason:    This I think is a very good move.
Chico:  Show is going to be a companion to the CBS series... Who wants to bet that Endemol and CBS are going to make a run to the alphabet store before July 5?
Jason:    Oh yeah...booze.  Yes.
Chico:  Just to ensure that the reality is... umm... there.
Gordon: You can't call it reality until people are stinking drunk.
Jason:    Will Les let Julie be naked?
Chico:  God I hope not.  She's not shapely enough to be naked.
Gordon: It could be worse. LES could be naked.
Chico:  NO BINGO!
Jason:    NO BINGO indeed.
Gordon: 069, anyone?

(BOOOOOOOoooooop)

Chico: Oh now look what you've done. The thought of Les being naked has scattered all of the hamsters.
Jason:    Eve...don't chase them...
Gordon:  Well, we were going to shut down the Choppler anyway.
Jason:    damn you, Les Moonves!
Gordon: While Chico and Jason get the hamsters back in the cages, we'll take a break
Chico:  So while we chase down our pets, (who are spayed and/or neutered, BTW)... Here's the result of your vote from last week's YLTI. We wanted to know if you thought Bob would return to the PIR stage next year. On one end of the spectrum, 11% gave him the entire season. On the other, 58% said... It's not happening, he's done. What do you guys think?
Gordon: I don't think he's done. Its too late to teach someone everything and I'll bet we see him in September
Chico:  I hope we do.  The new guy needs to do his homework (and perhaps be quizzed on it)
Jason:    I agree.
Chico:  Okay, Gordon, give our audience something to think about this week.
Gordon: Here's this week's question -

[FrontPage Save Results Component] Be honest now. Are your pets spayed and/or neutered? Yes No No pets What's a neutered?

Gordon: Results next week.
Chico:  We'll give you five good reasons to stick around... after the break. This is WLTI, celebrating five years of yanking your chain.

(BrainVision has been brought to you by the David Spade and Neutering Clinic. Cause face it, David has a LOT of free time on his hands right now.)

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