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Because fandom is NOT a spectator sport...

Today is

July 16, 2007

Chico: Today on the big program... Who wants to sing... or dance... or land on their head?
Jason: I do!
Gordon: Can I drop Jason on his head?
Chico: He still pushing for Mr. Man-Kira to win the Got Talent?
Gordon: I don't know if he is, but I AM. Go, Man-kira, go!
Chico: ... That's.. just wrong.
Gordon: I'm rooting for your long lost brother, Chico.
Chico: I'm no relation to that thing.
Gordon: Jason's long lost brother is no longer on the show, so I have to root for somebody.
Chico: Anyway, that, plus pop culture... and CAKE!
Gordon: Someone left a cake out in the rain....
Jason: Thank you Diana Ross
Chico: From somewhere in McArthur Park... We Love to Interrupt ... is... ON!
Gordon: Joining Chico Alexander, I am Gordon Pepper, and lets introduce the guests in the Game Factory today. Starting with the relative of Leonid the Magnificent, Mr. Jason Block.
Jason: Hello there...give us big kiss (in voice of Millicent the Rabbit)
Gordon: Next up, the relative of Luke Walton, Mr. Robert Seidelman.
Rob: Good morning, gentlemen. It's been a while.
Gordon: and Finally, our newest member of the cast, the long lost relative of Eli Kerr, give him a proper welcome, Mr. Josh Halbur.
Jason: Welcome Welcome Welcome to the nuthouse.
Chico: He's been writing Camouflage for us (and Bingo). And he's been just masterful at it.
Gordon: Lets do some camouflage, shall we?
Chico: Woo!
Rob: Sounds fine by me.


Jason: Wow
Chico: Todd Newton and Mark Steines?
Gordon: If you've been paying attention to current events, this game is...simple.
Jason: Holy cow.
Gordon: Very good, Chairman. Now What's the Question?
Chico: Who are the two frontrunners left in the race for TPIR THIS WEEK?


Jason: If you believe the New York Post
Chico: Or ContactMusic. But seriously, how much stock do you put in this news?
Rob: None.
Gordon: I'll say some. It does make sense, their names have been bandied about all summer as possible replacements and the show is running out of time.
Jason: I would agree with some.
Chico: But it seems like we've had a few frontrunners for a while now. One begins to lose hope that ANYONE knows for sure who's going to get the nod.
Josh: I think the media should just zipper the lippers on the whole thing until the new host is decided--get your facts right or get your butt out.
Jason: Thank you Josh. You are so right on this.
Gordon: The media's job however, is to speculate.
Rob: We've been told many times that many people were the frontrunners for this hosting job. It's gotten to the point where nobody would believe anything.
Jason: Yes, but we have been speculating since October.
Chico: October 30, to be exact.
Rob: Originally it was Dave Price, then followed up by Rich Fields, John O'Hurley, Todd Newton, Mark Steines, Mario Lopez, Rosie O'Donnell...
Jason: Doug Davidson, George Hamilton, Marco Antonio Regil, Travis Schario...
Gordon: Man-kira, I hear, may have been in the running at some point.
Chico: Franken-Berry... Don't forget Franken-Berry...
Rob: Seriously, CBS should just pick a host and end this painful ordeal before we stop caring about TPIR altogether.
Gordon: The masses care, or this story wouldn't be dragging this long. As long as they get someone in place and start taping in August, everyone will be happy.
Josh: The TPIR host race is becoming too much of a "Paris Hilton in Jail" kind of thing--too much drama and suspicions about something that should be low-key.
Chico: True. Also, you don't want to pick just ANYONE. If they picked ANYONE, then this would've been over a LONG TIME AGO.
Jason: That's true. And us fan-boys would be pitching a fit.
Gordon: True. and not just anyone can host this. The problem here is that the big wigs aren't thrilled with the selection and I cant blame them.
Chico: CBS is obviously looking for someone who'll give the show proper justice.. which is why I'm saying "Todd Newton all the way, baby."
Josh: Ditto, Chico.
Jason: I have called for Newton since the list came out. And since Rich Fields got the big hose job.
Gordon: I guess I get to be Haterade now, dont I?
Jason: Yes
Chico: It's why we keep you :)
Gordon: Todd Newton is NOT a good choice for the role. Lets just get that out of the way now.
Rob: He's the best of the bunch. He has done the road shows and from reports he was good.
Gordon: If anything, Newton would be a better announcer and make Rich Fields the host.
Jason: Interesting theory.
Chico: Yeah, but apparently they can't do that for whatever reason (although that would be pretty rocking if they could)
Gordon: The best of the bunch does not mean good. I said this for months. No one there in the bunch would be good for this role. I am not putting Newton down - he is a good host. But the role is for someone who is snarky, personable and quick witted and that is not Newton's style.
Chico: I have said this before, and will say this again. The person who gets this role will be the person who, in CBS' eye... does the job best. And whose vision for the show matches CBS/Fremantle's own.
Jason: Not who would the best for the show overall.
Chico: It's like any job.. There's a gig aspect...
Gordon: There are 3 people who should be the host. Frank Nicotero, Ryan Seacrest or Drew Carey. Anyone else will turn the show bland.
Rob: I'm just thankful that Rosie didn't get the gig.
Chico: There's a hierarchy...
Gordon: Rosie as a 'host' would do a great job on the show. The problem is that with Rosie, you don't get just 'host', you get 'host' and 'hands on behind the scenes', and that aspect would ruin the show.
Chico: I want to visit that for a while. Can we visit that for a while?
Gordon: Lets visit that for a while.
Chico: Now recent reports said that Rosie turned down the offer because she didn't want to uproot her family....
Gordon: BUT...
Chico: Not ENTIRELY true.
Rob: There's a shocker.
Gordon: Do tell, Mr. Chairman
Chico: This week, it came out (of her mouth, nonetheless) that she wanted to "gay up" the show, replacing Barker's beauties with "a bunch of hunky guys", inserting show tunes, and making Ross the intern announcer. CBS wasn't having it. And that is why she took her name out of the running. Her image and CBS's image for Price did not match.
Gordon: She says that. According to other sources, CBS took her name out of the running for her.
Rob: Good on CBS, almost all of those ideas are pure, unadulterated garbage.
Chico: And... and I've always wanted to say this... WE CALLED IT.
Gordon: Yay!
Josh: If this was Rosie of "The Rosie O'Donnell Show" days, I'd totally support her. But today's Rosie of "The View, Featuring Rosie O'Donnell" just won't go over well with most people.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Rob: I have liberal friends that think her ideas are pure garbage. Plus, she's just turned into some psycho host over the course of the past year.Gordon: 3 years ago, if she ran for the job, she would have no opposition. Amazing what being a lesbian and going after American Idol, Donald Trump, and the conservatives will do for your career.
Chico: Oh yeah. Suddenly the queen of nice... Not so much.
Rob: Yes, she's now typecast herself into being a big, bullying, butch lesbo.
Gordon: But back to the subject at hand. You all want Newton as the host. I think Nicotero, Seacrest or Carey is the better play. One thing none of them are doing however is hosting a show on BET.
Chico: But Joe Clair and Toccara Jones are hosting a show on BET...And it qualifies for us to talk about here.
Gordon: But just barely.
Chico: Isn't that something! Now imagine Midnight Money Madness... if it was hosted by ... Joe Clair and Toccara...
Gordon: And had games such as identifying people by their ass and trying to guess if they are light skinned or come from racially mixed families...
Chico: "Or as they say in the hood, they mommy and daddy black and white." And you get "Take the Cake", BET's entry into the rapidly growing field of live-quizzes.
Rob: Don't get more stereotypical than that.
Their works. Let's start with the good...Joe Clair's pretty good at keeping things moving...
Josh: Good: The word "cake" is in the title and everyone likes cake!
Chico: Also good, Josh.
Gordon: And they are not waiting 15 minutes per puzzle, droning for people to call in.
Chico: It's got everything you expect for a Playmania clone...
Rob: Yes, which keeps the game going and people interested.
Chico: So it's good for all of those. But now, the not-so-hot.
Gordon: (brings out laundry list)
Chico: First of all, because it's live TV, you're privy to gremlins... one of which happened to rear its ugly head last night.
Gordon: Hello, Mr. Camerman!
Chico: We had an "Identify the picture" round... and there was no picture. Self-defeating. Second.... We all remember Toccara from Top Model many moons ago. She seemed to be a little... happy... in the head. She's STILL a little happy.
Gordon: Not to mention Celebrity Fit Club. If you thought it was an act....we sadly find out on Take the Cake that it's not an act.
Rob: Meaning she's perfect for this type of show.
Jason: Yuck.
Chico: Third... It seems like someone at programming initiatives just went into a room with "experts on black culture" and thought that some of the content would play to the audience.
Gordon: I don't mind Black Culture. This is BET, the Black Entertainment Channel, and I actually like the fact that the questions are Black Culture based.
Jason: I didn't like the racism angle...taking whitey's money.
Gordon: THAT I have a problem with. Joe Clair on every show telling the audience to take the white man's money, etc.
Rob: Yeah, that's just lame beyond all accounts.
Chico: But still... ID'ing someone by their ass or judging whether someone's mixed or just light-skinned... A game you play at the bar, yes... Not necessarily good TV. Okay, we have the good... and the bad... Now let's grade it.
Jason: Take the Cake...a little moldy and stale....and the racism is not good. D.
Gordon: It's not as bad as some of the other ones, but it's not very good and I don't see it getting better. D+, only because there are worse shows that are 'D'
Chico: Rob Seidelman?
Rob: Way below average and I can't stand racism in any form. Plus there has to be better games than identifying a person by their ass. Thusly, it gets an F.
Chico: Josh Halbur...
Josh: I will give them a B-minus/C-plus, for trying to draw a viewing audience...albeit, based on some no-nos in most other markets. They're targeting their crowd, but they're doing it with a slant. I'm the nice teacher! :-D
Chico: I'm going to go with D...It's not as bad as, say Play2Win... but still... Playmania was the standard (notice I didn't say "Quiznation"... talk about a downward spiral)
Gordon: Yes. Not to mention that twice they have promised a game which never got played and at least once, the free way of playing never emerged.
Jason: Got to have that free way...see what happened in the UK.
Gordon: I don't see any 'good' standard. I think there's a way that the call ins can be made good.
Chico: No one's found it yet, though. But I tell you what networks have found, though...
Gordon: Nope. We have found, however, a way to make a Karaoke game show.
Chico: TWO!
Gordon: Two for the Price of One
Jason: Step right up! Get your Karaoke Game Shows here!
Chico: Way #1: The Singing Bee: Take something America is familiar with and put a song in it. And Way #2.... Take an existing show and tweak it up a bit... AKA the Fox Method. Thus we also have.. "Don't Forget the Lyrics"
Gordon: Or 'Are You Smarter than a 5th Grade Music Class'
Rob: Nice one, Gordon.
Josh: Amen.
Jason: And the Singing Bee was the ratings winner.
Chico: That it was.
Gordon: BUT Dont Forget the Lyrics ALSO did well in the ratings.
Jason: Do we have room for two ratings winners? Or was it they were the best in the summer of suck 2007(TM)?
Chico: Understandable. Big board, please.

Why Music is Fundamental

- Who's Got First?
- Two Different Approaches

Jason: Subject?
Chico: Title: Why Music is Fundamental. Here, in a nutshell, is why both shows were winners last week. 1) The obvious hubbub about "Who's got first". "Singing Bee" wasn't due until fall, where it would compliment the second season of "1 vs. 100". It wasn't until Fox moved up "Don't Forget the Lyrics" that NBC rushed "Singing Bee" to air. Obviously the move generated a lot of buzz for both shows. NBC, because they needed to produce a show within the span of three weeks, and Fox because they were basically hoist by their own petard.
Jason: Yup
Chico: They gave the PR equivalent of "Oh yeah?" in response to said move. And NBC, in return delivered with the content equivalent to "YEAH!"
Rob: I noticed that.
Gordon: The other reason why it worked is because both shows took the same idea and spun it into 2 different types of formats.
Jason: I was going to go there.
Rob: One is great, the other not so great.
Chico: Please do explain.
Rob: I'll start with Don't Forget The Lyrics. There is only 1 good thing about the show and that's Wayne Brady. He keeps the game moving and can actually sing pretty well. Now, the rest of the show is extremely derivative from 5th Grader.
Gordon: I agree with Rob. Ten choices of song. 3 helps.
Rob: The Contestant is annoying when not singing, very indecisive, and my biggest pet peeve of the current crop of shows. TOO MUCH FAUX DRAMA ON LOW LEVELS. Especially on 5th Grader and here. And let's not forget that mystery $1,000,000 song = $1,000,000 question on 5th Grader. Just the only thing missing is the kids.
Josh: Faux drama = good TV, in most peoples' eyes...unfortunately not to those who judge those shows.
Rob: I understand that, but it's with every single question. Especially with the first 2-3 questions.
Gordon: Here's something else 5th grader and DFTL have in common - the SLOW PACING. Over an hour's worth of DFTL, we hear 9 songs. We get over 10 songs in the first segment of the Singing Bee.
Rob: Exactly, Gordon.
Chico: On DFTL, 10 songs is the entire game.
Rob: 11 if you count the big prize.
Gordon: I don't think the audience likes Faux Drama. I think the producers like it because you can burn up more tape that way.
Chico: Fill an hour. It's what made "The Rich List"...
Gordon: Yes, but you can make the show fill up a half hour quite easy
Jason: Right
Josh: It's not so much about the quantity of heard songs, the show should be about whether average (or above-average) people know the lyrics to those songs. But I still disapprove of injecting drama into the show.
Rob: Whereas it could be spent on something better, like the game itself and not the reveal.
Gordon: Its what made The Rich List DOA in 1 episode - the faux drama and lack of a compelling game. The Singing Bee, if anything, is the show that could have extended into 1 hour with more contestants. You could go from 10 contestants to 8 to 6 to 4 to 2 to 1 and make the show an hour long.
Josh: I agree, Gordon...Bee is too fast, Lyric! is too slow.
Rob: What are the odds that was compromised to meet the new deadline?
Gordon: Id say very likely, Rob, since they needed a 30 minute squeeze to get into AGT
Chico: Finally, someone got it that... "It's the game, stupid."
Rob: I prefer a fast game than a tortoise-paced game.
Chico: I'm going to say something I never thought I would... Rob, I agree with you :) I like fast games with fast outcomes. If it's gong to be slow, make it Millionaire slow, where the drama is warranted. That's why I have to give round 1... to the Singing Bee.
Josh: Hey, drama is good...when used in moderation.
Gordon: Grades?
Jason: Too many games (see Deal or No Deal, Identity) pace the game too slow for drama's sake.
Chico: Joey Fatone prevents it from getting a solid A, but he'll grow into it. A-.
Jason: I have to abstain on DFTS since I didn't see it in its complete form.
Chico: Lyrics... I'll go B-. Moral of the story: "IT's the game, stupid." Mark Burnett knew it when he plotted "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader".
Rob: I give the Bee a B. I give the Lyrics show a D+. Too derivative, and just a lame dramatic game.
Josh: For crappy backup singers, semi-slutty bumblebee dancers, and the fast pacing... I give Bee a B. Lyrics, with the drama, drama, and the drama, also gets a B.
Gordon: There's nothing wrong with the dancers if they are semi-slutty.
Josh: That's why they got the show a B... lol
Gordon: I give the Bee a B as well. Don't Forget the Lyrics is not an awful game and could get better with good editing. C+ for DFTL. Speaking of music, do you know we are in the semi-finals of America's Got Talent?
Jason: Really?
Chico: Wow. Summer goes by fast.
Rob: Tell me about it.
Chico: How about the dancers on Talent? Any in the semis?
Gordon: Can I have a Big Board Please?

Break It Down

- Male Vocalists: 4
- Vocal Groups: 3
- Dance Teams: 3
- Female Vocalists: 2
- Bands: 2
- Others: 5

Gordon: The theme - Break it Down. Lets breakdown the genres What we have the most of is Male Vocalists - 4

Cas Haley (Alt Rocker with Guitar)
Manuel Romero (World)
Robert Hatcher (R&B)
Jason Pritchett (Carnival Cruise)

Chico: I'm endorsing Cas, myself.
Gordon: Cas seems to be the strongest one, with Hatcher my second. I don't think he other two are close.
Gordon: Next up - We have 3 Vocal Groups/ Now I don't mean bands. There are just singing groups...

The Fault Line (Acapella)
Glamazons (Pop)
Southern Girl (Urban)

Gordon: I do not see a legitimate threat coming out of this group
Chico: If I had to pick ONE from this group... Fault Line.
Gordon: I agree. That being said, I dont think any of them are strong enough to cause any damage.
Chico: Who's next?
Gordon: We also have 3 Dance Teams

Sideswipe (Martial Arts)
Second Story (Stilts)
Calypso Tumblers (<-- Self Descriptive)

Chico: Sideswipe to win.
Gordon: I think Sideswipe and Calypso Tumblers could both make the finals. We have 2 female vocalists

Julienne Irwin (Pop)
Butterscotch (Beatboxing)

Chico: Umm...can we skip this one? I don't see either making any noise.
Jason: Butterscotch--better or worse than Blake Lewis?
Chico: Ummm...Worse.
Gordon: I think Butterscotch makes the finals. I think she is markedly better than Blake Lewis and she has a set of pipes.
Josh: Better times 3, in my opinion
Chico: Really? You think so?
Gordon: Yes. She can do more than just funky special effects.
Chico: Did she use the banana yet?
Josh: If you mean eat it, then no
Gordon: And there goes the G rating right down the toilet...
Chico: Next genre?
Gordon: Next up - 2 Bands

Duttons (Celtic Spring 2007 - WITH MORE KIDS)
Johnny Come Lately (Kiddie Band)

Jason: The Duttons will get far due to the Anti-PIers Vote.
Gordon: Unfortunately, I agree. and we all love kids. Bleh.
Chico: Johnny Come Lately will get the Naked Brothers Band audience.
Jason: What...the under 8 crowd?
Chico: Yep.
Josh: If I recall correctly, in Vegas they performed without them.
Jason: Oh boy.
Gordon: The remaining 5 are all 'Others', as in specializing in one thing. The cream of the crop and a serious threat to win the whole thing - Magician Kevin James,
Chico: Agreed.
Josh: I wouldn't say a threat, but he's got skillz. lol
Jason: Is he that good?
Gordon: He's that good - could give last year's Burton a run for his money. Someone that won't win the whole thing, but could make the finals - Popovich Pet Theater
Chico: Another act that gets the screw-Piers vote?
Gordon: I would think so. And add Ventriloquist Terry Fader to the mix.
Jason: Josh, you like him?
Josh: I enjoyed Terry the first time around and loved it then...
Gordon: He's pretty good. Then there's the Bollywood dancer Kashif.
Josh: Unfortunately they didn't show much of his Vegas performances, but he's a possible threat.
Chico: Kashif... umm.. not so much.
Gordon: Then there's forgot Johnny Lonestar - Lariat boy, but he's not a threat to win.
Jason: Agreed.
Gordon: And the last one, the person who I will be voting for all day and night until my fingers fall off...Man-Kira!
Chico: Less said about Man-Kira, the better
Gordon: I am a Man-Lira-holic! I have already campaigned to to have them vote Man-Kira in.
Chico: Why does that not surprise me.
Jason: Why?
Gordon: Because they intentionally let Kashif and Man-kira get through because of the goofy factor. On any other normal talent competition, they have no prayer of getting in.
Josh: Slightly being facetious, but it's one of those things you watch and don't want to watch.
Chico: Ah.
Rob: Agreed.
Gordon: At the same time, 3 very talented artists: Cocoa Brown, The Redneck Tenors, and Lazy Legs/Illmatic Styles, got left out.
Gordon: Either or all of them could have made the finals or have won the whole thing.
Chico: They've got in because some industry wag thinks it's a good thing.
Gordon: This year, there is no 'Favorite' like Bianca Ryan was. It's up for grabs for anyone.
Jason: Yes.
Gordon: So, I want the producers to pay for it, and pay for it royally by having to give one of the two oddities a million bucks.
Chico: That's cruel, that's unloving, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter, Mr. Pepper.
Rob: Agreed.
Gordon: Now I do agree with Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe that you can't really do much to sway an American Idol vote, because it's hard to go up against 60-70 million votes. However...AGT doesn't have a remote percentage of those sort of people calling in.
Chico: You're talking 10 to 20 million.
Jason: right
Chico: Like one or two votes for every viewer. But that was last year.
Gordon: Yes. And while 1-2 million can't do anything on Idol, it can do a LOT of damage here.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Jason: Agreed.
Josh: Or 1,000 votes to BoyShakira for every Gordon out there... :D
Gordon: In what is expected to be a VERY tight race, 1-2 million votes can clearly put someone over the top. SO....VOTE FOR MAN-KIRA!!!!!
Rob: Which means he'll get 500 votes.
Gordon: If even 100 people vote 500 times like me, that's 50,000 votes.
Jason: Now why should we take this seriously...while the Vote for Sanjaya thing you were against?
Gordon: Here's the difference. 1. Sanjaya actually could sing. Although he did not perform under the lights, he had talent and you could justify him getting a spot in one of the Top 24. And he actually sang well in the finals during Latin Night. There were people back then who thought that him getting a spot made sense - and it did. He only crashed and burned once the singing started in the Top 24, but in a weak men's field, he deserved to be there.
Rob: It was a very weak men's field.
Chico: Mm-hmm.
Jason: Yes it was.
Gordon: Man-kira, on the other hand, didn't even deserve to get out of Round 1. So the producers are telling us that Man-kira is one of the 20 best acts in America? Do you buy that?
Chico: No.
Rob: Completely selling this.
Jason: Nope.
Chico: I'm guessing that there's a shadow jury at AGT that tells the REAL jury which acts make for "good television"
Gordon: Exactly. So VOTE FOR MAN-KIRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rob: Let's not and say we did.
Chico: Heh.
Josh: Okay. I'll vote for Mankira once...then promptly vote Butterscotch 200 more times.
Gordon: 'I want you..and you...and you and're going to love MAN-KIRAAAAAAAAA!!!!'
Jason: I think you are in Haterade OD.
Chico: Just remember, the winner this year... will probably be a question at the World Series of Pop Culture...Because that's what happens on this show.
Jason: What about the WSOPC?
Josh: True.
Gordon: Ah.
Jason: Yes, this week the 2nd season of WSOPC came back in a big way! And I have a few observations!
Rob: So do I.
Jason: One...Pat Kiernan--major improvement as host. He has loosened up and is a lot better. 2. The questions are still very good. 3. El gone. Will not repeat.
Gordon: The questions are weaker than last year. If anything, they are much easier. This is supposed to be THE WORLD SERIES of Pop Culture.
Jason: And my favorites to take it--Wocka-Wocka. They were the only first rounders to sweep.
Gordon: Since I know who wins it, I recuse.
Jason: But Pat Kiernan is going to have a big summer, with this and Grand Slam. Count on it.
Josh: I'm a fan of 3 Men and a Little Lazy, myself...
Chico: Twisted Misters, here. The format is still the same, though, and it still works.
Gordon: I agree that Pat Kiernan is VASTLY improved. This could be a nice break for him.
Jason: Same verse, same as the first. No change in format, very good stuff.
Rob: Way better than his work on Studio 7.
Chico: Makes me look forward to Grand Slam. As for Pat Kiernan... yep... what everyone else said.
Gordon: You should look forward to Grand Slam. Its HOT.
Chico: Well, you were at the taping :)
Gordon: Thats how I know its HOT :)
Chico: I'll take your word for it. Meanwhile, I'll introduce you to the first entry into America's Got Talent #3...Pepperovich's Party of Hamsters!
Gordon: They dance! They prance! They...oh not on the rug, Fluffy...
Chico: Biodiesel. Ew.
Gordon: Cleanup on Rug 3!
Chico: Gordon, if you would, please.
Jason: Lets do it!
Rob: Here we go.
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage!

Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thank you, Doug. First on the agenda, Gordon?

This would be the top article on almost any other week. GSN needs a new boss. Rich Cronin has resigned and will no longer be the CEO as of the end of July.

Jason: He was the man who oversaw a LOT of what you see on GSN today.
Chico: His tenure ushered in GSN's golden age, from Whammy to Without Prejudice (premiering this week)
Jason: The show of the none.
Chico: But oversaw its share of failures as well. The Amazing Race price tag... Show Me the Money... Starface...American Dream Derby.
Rob: Crap Wretchon.
Gordon: Fake-A-Date.
Chico: Kenny vs. Spenny.
Gordon: Throut and Neck, and more importantly, the move off of basic cable, which has caused TV ratings to drop from a 0.7 average to a 0.3 average.
Chico: But it seems like for every failure, he had a success... Lingo...
Gordon: Russian Roulette
Chico: High Stakes Poker...
Rob: Extreme Dodgeball...World Series of Blackjack...
Gordon: And he got the World Poker Tour, along with Poker Royale. He was also responsible for some GSN documentaries, including the Press Your Luck Scandal
Rob: Match Game: Beyond The Blank
Jason: And the Game Show Hall of Fame, and Anything to Win. And all the Game Show tips shows
Rob: Chuck Barris: My Life On The Edge.
Gordon: And as much as I despise Playmania, that made GSN a dump truck load of money
Chico: Oh yeah.
Jason: Yup.
Chico: Although that last night's show was sponsored by an Home-Based Business website raises red flags.
Gordon: So the assignment for the new guy - get good programming on, and start moving the ratings up to viable.
Josh: I'm sorry...did we mention That's The Question?
Gordon: The Question should be how in the world did it get a renewal?
Josh: Now THAT's the question.
Rob: Because they need to give Bob Goen something to do. And the show is actually decent, unlike Chain Reaction.
Chico: Leading into the next story...As Gordon put it, "How in the world did it get a renewal?"
Jason: YES! BINGO!
Gordon: Oy.
Jason: Too late.
Rob: ARGH!
Josh: Play's still on!

The Internet comes to the rescue again as ABC orders up a second round of National Bingo Night. The show, to air on five consecutive nights in December, received lackluster ratings, but its web presence was one of the busiest, therefore justifying the renewal.

Gordon: 3 million web hits a night on the site. (No we don't get THAT sort of action on this site. Sorry)
Chico: That's a statement that says volumes about the role of new media on television.
Gordon: I'm sure the fact that their advertisers such as KMart virtually paid for the show didn't hurt, either.
Chico: Of course.
Jason: You think?
Chico: See what happens when you offer free money to viewers? They show up in droves.
Gordon: A 3.7 rating is 'droves'?
Chico: Well, they don't show up in droves, but they do go to the website in droves. Seduce them with $50,000 in free money.
Rob: Nothing better than free money.
Gordon: Especially when you don't have to pay for it.
Chico: All for printing out a bingo card. So cheap, easy, and basically already paid for. No wonder ABC renewed it.
Josh: I actually Bingo'd the first episode on the Blue Card Game...I'd say it was worth
Chico: Okay, next?
Gordon: I would like to print out some Haterade Coupons. Anyone want any?
Rob: I'll take some, I'm a little parched.
Jason: Sure. It's hot here in NYC
Josh: Hmmm...55 cents off...not a bad deal!
Gordon: This is what Carol Journey said about her nemesis in the Big Brother House after the got booted out by a vote of 10-1:

'I feel really honored and privileged to have met all of you through this. I really want to take the time to wish you all the best of luck inside the house, in the game and out in the real world'.

Gordon: Now THIS is what she said about Jessica outside of the house after talking to Julie Chen

'[Jessica's] the exact same person she was in high school. She's very, very conceited, very stuck-up. Now I can honestly say that and not feel bad about it... It's just Jessica. But she'll never change, so I'm not even gonna go there.'

Chico: And you wonder why I'm not a big fan of Big Brother.
Rob: Me either.
Gordon: Amazingly enough, BB8 is doing decently in the ratings
Jason: Say one thing inside...and then when they can't hear a bitch :)
Chico: I wasn't saying that it wasn't doing bad, I'm just saying I'm not a fan.
Gordon: True. Expect more Haterade to come from the house all summer long.
Rob: I wouldn't doubt that.
Gordon: BTW, Jen, of all airheads, wins HOH and the father/daughter duo of Dick and Danielle are on the block.
Rob: Knocking out a possible threat.
Jason: Smart play.
Gordon: It looks like 'get the Frenemies out of the house' is in full swing, and if the group has it their way, Joe will be next. Good-bye, long running plot that was supposed to have lasted the entire season.
Chico: I will still not get over the fact that Jen cried over a decent picture of herself.
Rob: Exactly.
Josh: There's always the America's Player twist, I suppose.
Jason: Don't you know people don't always follow the script. I have been a DM...I know the feeling :)
Chico: Dangerous thing to admit, Jason.
Jason: Hey...geeks are hip.
Gordon: We've slain the dragon here. Next story?
Chico: Next up, let's get loaded...
Jason: (hic)

Family Feud... one of our favorites at the 'net... All-Star eps are coming to DVD courtesy the same fine people who gave us the Best of Match Game.

Jason: Sweet.
Chico: Expect those at your favorite DVD store in November.
Rob: I can't wait for the January release. Best of Family Feud DVDs, Includes the 1976 Pilot and some of the best episodes, including the big Finale.
Jason: Wow.
Gordon: Very cool
Chico: Good for a birthday gift.. hint hint :)
Gordon: Thanks Chico, you're getting it for my birthday!
Chico: ... why not. I'm a nice guy...
Gordon: YAY!
Chico: ... what did I just agree to =p...Anywho, what's next?
Gordon: The DVD is also good if you're a media ho family in training.
Chico: *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"* Before the hoes, time to bring out the couch.
Gordon: You ready to be on TV, kids?
Jason: yes!
Gordon: We got our first SPONSOR, by the way
Josh: Oh, I mean, YES!
Jason: really?
Gordon: This is now the Reality Wanted Casting Couch
Chico: Wee
Jason: No kidding! Holy cow!
Gordon: And of course, you can go check these links out from Because...well...Chico and I are also Hoes..
Jason: lol
Chico: I pimp hoes, Bee-otch :)
Rob: The first step is admittance.
Gordon: We knew that we would be getting a Top Chef 4 - but NOW you can audition for it.

Bravo is once again giving a group of talented chefs the opportunity to show America their talent and creativity! Do you think you have what it takes to become a star of the culinary world and compete to become the next "TOP CHEF?"

Gordon: Maybe you'd rather date Flava Flav...

A new cable reality show is looking for Male Dating Contestants to be set up with a Hip Hop Celebrity. We are looking for Urban, Fly Player, "I Love New York" / "Flavor of Love" or Thuggy Young 50 Cent Types.

Chico: I Love New York 2 perhaps?
Rob: No, oh dear god no.
Gordon: Perhaps. It got the ratings to warrant it. What about Craig Ferugson?

Ever wanted to be on a game show? We are looking for fun, energetic, clever and competitive individuals to be contestants on a new and unique game show pilot for a major network. Contestants will interact with host, Craig Ferguson, in a variety of games! An outgoing personality and good sense of humor are a must! Males & Females wanted. Auditions will be held July 15, 16, & 17th.

Josh: I hope it's I Love Mo'Nique!
Gordon: Next...

Now Casting - NATIONAL BINGO NIGHT Casting Begins for Season 2. Do your family and friends consider you the life of the party? Are you ready to have a great time on stage in front of America? We are CASTING NOW and looking for enthusiastic people and colorful characters who are ready to win a lot of cash and prizes.

Chico: A lot of calls. thanks, RealityWanted... Now to more established fare.
Josh: Ho! Ho! Ho!
Gordon: Last one...and its a BIG ONE. APPLY TO BE A SURVIVOR

In 2008 a new group of Americans will experience trials and tribulations as they are eliminated one by one from yet another SURVIVOR program. The Sole Survivor will win $1,000,000.

Jason: The one for Feb - May.
Rob: Yup.
Jason: The one they will shoot this fall.
Gordon: Now on with Da Hoes...

Bob Barker is going after a sterilize your pets bill, Dan Patrick has turned down the TPIR hosting gig, Simon Cowell asks Kelly Clarkson and Clive Davis to kiss and make up...JD Norton (Pirate Master), Camille (Top Chef 3), Melissa Firpo (Hell's Kitchen 3) and Shira-Lee Shalit (On The Lot) all get their walking papers, while Stan Lee talks about Superhero 2...

Rob: Can't wait for Superhero 2.

Fantasia Barrino extends her stay on The Color Purple. while Ivanka Trump wants nothing to with The View, The Apprentice's Jennifer Murphy is dating a dentist that was on Extreme Makeover...Shanna Moakler splits up (again) from Travis Barker, while Jilian Barberie gives birth.

Gordon: But none of them are your ho of the week.
Rob: Really?
Josh: Who is possible left that can acclaim to "ho" status? Is it Mankira?
Chico: It's either Clay Aiken for the airline thing or Lauren Jones for the anchorwoman thing.
Gordon: Katharine McPhee, who signs up for not one, but TWO movies.
Rob: Or her.
Chico: Oh.
Gordon: Katharine, in a movie produced by Adam Sandler, will star alongside Anna Faris as a Playboy Bunny evicted from Hugh Hefner's mansion. A few weeks ago, she was also cast in a dark romantic comedy called 'The Last Caller', playing a self obsessed woman.
Rob: Boy, that sounds like high-quality viewing right there.
Jason: worked for Jennifer Hudson.
Gordon: A Playboy Bunny doesn't exactly seem like an Oscar-Caliber role.
Chico: ... nope.
Rob: Nope.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Unless you're a Playboy bunny... with a heart of gold and a wit to match. And finally... no one went global... BUT...

Temptation is looking to cross the Pacific in a big way, having been sold to 96% of the country.

Rob: Yeah, but from what I heard it isn't the same as the Aussie version, and it Double-runs in Seattle. Being sold to both KCPQ and KMYQ
Chico: So Rob's got it. I got it on WLFL, CW22 in Raleigh. And of course Block and Pepper have My9 for Temptation.
Gordon: Yah
Chico: So chances are if you have a Fox station or a Fox-owned MyTV station, or a Sinclair or Hearst-Argyle station, you're good to go. Your best bet? Call around.
Gordon: So how is it different, Rob?
Rob: More home shopping elements, and from a pilot I was told about, it was a Wipeout variant.
Jason: If they screw with the format...its done.
Rob: It's Fremantle.
Gordon: If they call it 'Temptation', and if its nothing like the Aussie version, our mailboxes are going to be bombarded with haterade.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Rob: They probably did screw the format.
Chico: Big time. Okay, Shut'er down. Brainvision's over. Meanwhile, after this break, what do we have?
Gordon: Next up - we take a page out of Rosie O Donnell's Book and a Page out of Temptation's Book.
Chico: But first, we play with songs.. because we do love to sing... This is We Love to Interrupt, celebrating five years of ripping off lesser entertainment shows.
Jason: lol

(Brainvision is brought to you by iCar. It navigates the web... makes phone calls... and hooks up to any other electronic device you have... But good luck driving it)



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