June 11, 2007

Chico:  Today.... Bob Barker... the man... the myth... the replacement?
Gordon: Hey, it worked in lame football movies. Could it work now? It could as we celebrate the start of our 15th season on the air! yay!
Jason:  Yay!
Chico:  Woo-hoo!
Jason:  (tosses confetti)
Chico:  Thanks, Rip.
Jason:  I don't have that  much hair, nor a toupee.
Chico:  No, but you do cost $1.98. And now, from somewhere in America... We Love to Interrupt... is ... ON! Joined by the usual cast of crazies, I'm your head crazy...And we were crazy about Bob... all week.
Jason:  Wednesday MAY have been Bob's last day.
Gordon: But if you read the publications, Bob's price may not be right just yet.
Jason:  So far it is.
Chico:  ... FOR NOW. The story thus far as we begin the show with the PriceWatch.
Jason:  Flash back to June 6.
Chico:  Wednesday's taped show was billed as Bob Barker's swan song, you all know that.
Jason:  But...there was a post show press conference where one sentence
shocked the world.
Chico:  And that sentence is?
Jason:  They're having trouble finding someone to do the show," Barker admits. "And I've told members of the staff here that ... if they wanted me to do it for a few more months, I would do it."
Chico:  Squeals of joy and of surprise followed.
Jason:  and then people said...huh?
Chico:  They were supposed to have a person ... at LEAST in place to learn all 70ish games. The question now... What happened?
Gordon: Apparently, the thought of Dave Price or Mark Steines hosting one of the crown jewels of morning television was as appealing to them as it was to us. Blech.
Jason:  And Rich fields isn't even in the running...WHAT IS UP WITH THAT!
Chico:  Here's my thinking, and it also applies to why John O'Hurley may not get the nod. Opening up another can of worms.
Jason:  Go for it.
Chico:  Apparently, and this is the image CBS gives us.... It's easier to look for a new host than it is to look for a new announcer. There are a lot of names that could host (and even fewer that SHOULD... ha ha).
Gordon: I don't disagree with that. No offense to Rich, but I don't think that he has the star power to carry such a show - and he's been an excellent announcer. Can I have a Big Board please?

Gordon: Now let's say that CBS decided to do the smart thing and open up the wallet.
Chico:  "CBS decided to do the smart thing and open up the wallet."
Gordon: There's one name that should be at the top of the list. He's only the host of the most popular show licensed by Fremantle.
Chico:  Seacrest?
Jason:  Ryan Seacrest.
Gordon: Ryan. Seacrest.
Chico:  He's got enough work, though. With E! and Idol and DJing...
Jason:  Could they let him out of the Idol contract?
Chico:  The guy runs on hyper-powered awesome batteries.
Gordon: You'd have to think that if he had the opportunity to do TPIR, he would quit E! He could do both TPIR and Idol.
Chico:  This is true.
Gordon: The auditions are only on the weekends for Idol.
Chico:  Marco Antonio Regil does both Que Dice and Bailando por un Boda de mis Suenos.
Gordon: And from January to May, he just doesn't do tapings on Tuesday and Wednesday.
Chico:  I don't disagree with you there, but you remember the issue that Meredith Vieira created by moving to NBC...Similar happenings could occur here.
Gordon: Last time I checked, she's still hosting both shows. That may not be the case next season, but she was able to do it.
Chico:  Yeah, but with weird taping schedules. And running back and forth...And Al Roker.
Gordon: She was able to do it
Jason:  She was and got the highest ratings so far.
Gordon: Exactly. Next name on the list...Ashton Kutcher.
Chico:  Big name actor.
Jason:  I don't like that one at all.
Chico:  I figured he'd wait until he got enough mileage from that whole acting thing before settling down to hosting a big-time game show.
Gordon: It's obvious that he loves game shows. It's also obvious, with Beauty and the Geek, that he can make some good ones.
Chico:  Producing one, maybe... not hosting one.
Gordon: Next one...and think about this for a second...Howie Mandel
Chico:  ... could work.
Jason:  Yes it could.
Chico:  He's grown. None of his lines are dubbed in now... none that we know of =p Although that whole touching thing could be a problem.
Jason:  Big problem :)
Gordon: I could see him doing a show like this. He now has the chops for it. Continuing on the new host trip, Could Bob Saget or Penn Jilette or Jeff Foxworthy have a shot at this?
Jason:  No, no and no.
Chico:  Bob Saget... no. Penn Jillette... no. Jeff Foxworthy... best chance of the three, but still... no.
Gordon: Last one...This person does have the game show hosting experience, and he is in LA right now, looking for a gig. What would you think about...Brad Rutter?
Jason:  I like it. I have actually seen his work on tape.
Chico:  How is it?
Jason:  It's good.
Chico:  Ringing endorsement?
Jason:  I would give him a shot.
Chico:  Hopefully the Jeopardy! gig didn't pigeonhole him. Didn't pigeonhole Mike Reilly. Could have a decent shot, though... Let's see how he does in basic cable first :)... and if Brad is reading this... you know we love you, right?
Gordon: Well, he was at the Grand Slam tapings this past week - then again, he was there because he was competing in it.
Jason:  And we were there to watch.
Chico:  Quick question before we move on.. Dennis Miller... Good?
Gordon: Dennis Miller...we don't know if he was good. They had 16 contestants from various game shows. Miller was the commentator. The question asker was...Pat Kiernan.
Jason:  From WSOP and Studio 7 fame.
Gordon: Between this and the World Series of Pop Culture 2, has a lot of work. We will not spoil, like give who the winner was or even what the matchups in the first round are (That comes out in early July), but... You know how they give the conference breakdowns in the NCAA Tournament?
Jason:  Yeah.
Chico:  Right?
Gordon: We will do the same here. Keeping in mind that we have 16 people and they will be seeded #'s 1 through 16. I don't think it's much of a guess as to who #1 and #2 are. As for the entrants - the most people from one show is...Millionaire U.. with 5
Chico:  You're going to do your bad Dicky V?
Gordon: Yes I am, baby. The College of Jeopardy gets 3 people in, while 21 Tech gets 2 people in. The other schools, who could only send their champions in (no wild card) are Greed, Lingo,  Tic Tac Dough, The Weakest Link, Win Ben Stein's Money, and The World Series of Pop Culture 2. The big universities take almost all of the Wild Card spots, with the exception of 21, which is a mid-major. The other shows are considered SWAC-Like, and only get 1 in.
Chico:  I'm thinking the repeat offenders (if any) are going to be PTPs, baby.... okay, that was bad. =p
Gordon: We are not mentioning names for 2 reasons - 1. Some of the people who are in are from shows (or episodes) that are not aired yet (WSOPC2 being one of them) and we do not wish to spoil. 2. This is actually a really nice show and should be watched, and 3. If we did spoil, we would be flogged by GSN, and we don't want THAT to happen.
Chico:  No.
Gordon: Don't you think that it's a little disproportionate that Millionaire gets in 5 while Jep only gets in 3?
Chico:  Little bit. But then again, you look at who's producing.
Gordon: Oh - you mean the producer of Millionaire producing this show? You wouldn't think that he would have...bias, would you?
Chico:  You think? Nepotism much?
Gordon: Seriously, though, I think that the show promises the best game show players - and they deliver the goods. We can't say any more than this yet, but you'll be drooling as much as we were once you see the line-up...
Chico:  Which you can't see right now.
Gordon: No. but you will in July. And yes, we'll be pimping out the show, because this should easily be the best thing you will see this Summer.
Chico:  But you know what you can see right now? Two games... similar outcomes... Let's hit rewind. We start with this public service message... The Wiggles... game show poison.
Gordon: I just think that their music disorients you and causes your brain to turn into silicon.
Chico:  Imagine for a moment that you...r significant other is having a baby only to be surprised by Howie Mandel and his 26 best friends...You're going to play Deal or No Deal on your front porch basically. And then when you go to HIS front porch... All hell breaks loose. The Mom in question: Mary Morolla... She passed up the Wiggles... She passed up $51,000... She ends up winning... a tenner.
Jason:  Yipe
Chico:  Let me show you something here... The offers in play after round... 4.

Penny, 10, 25, 50, 75, 5000, 25K, 500K

Chico:  The offer $31,000...That's a scary drop between $25K and $500K, you think?
Jason:  Way scary
Gordon: Very scary
Chico:  Fortunately, it's one she doesn't have to worry about after round 5...Unfortunately... it's the worst case scenario.
Gordon: if she kept the half mil in play, the offer skyrockets, so you have to take the shot to play that board.
Chico:  She took it. Went with Leyla... she of the dread box 13. And in it... dread indeed. $500K. Offer afterwards.. $3000. Plays on, knocks out $25K. New offer.. $1000. Plays on, knocks out the $5000. New offer... $20.
Jason:  Then stays with it...and asks for the penny.
Chico:  Knocks out $25. New offer... $22. Me, I'd stick it out. But you know, you can do a lot with $22.
Jason:  Buy about 6 gallons of gas.
Gordon: Well why stop at $22 when you can make history?
Chico:  Mary sticks it out... knocks out $50. Final offer... $6. No deal. She wins $10.
Chico:  She played the game as well as you could, she just picked rotten
cases. And our friend Ken Hidaka wrote us about this. To answer your question of what happened, Ken... THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.
Gordon: True. Next sad tale?
Chico:  Next sad tale involves three smart gentlemen and $25,000 amongst them. We have a CFO, a teacher, and a rocket scientist. I'll save you the drama right now. All three flunked out of AYSTA5G Elementary.
Gordon: This sounds sad. (Pulls out Kleenex and puts on Handel's Requiem)
Chico:  One did so with $25,000. Pick which one.
Jason:  Ill say the teacher
Chico:  Gordon?
Gordon: Ill say the CFO
Chico:  One of you is right. Gordon... You get the gold star.
Gordon: yay! :)
Chico:  That's two this season, I hope you're pleased.
Gordon: I am :)
Chico:  Dennis Ferdon was guaranteed $25,000. This is the $100,000 question.

Completed in 1825, what manmade waterway in New York State connects the Hudson River to the Great Lakes?

Chico:  If you two don't know this...
Jason:  THE ERIE CANAL.
Gordon: What Jay said
Chico:  Dennis needs to use the save here. Alana wrote...GRADEON.  I don't even know what the heck that is, first of all. Second... wrong. :)
Gordon: That was a real (lake) eerie answer
Chico:  But Dennis leaves with $25,000, which is more than what can be said for teacher Levi Line or rocket scientist Karl Shaub.  Both fizzled out before the milestone question...And sadly leave empty handed. At least they weren't Germanoed.  I chalk this one up to poor cheat management. If you find yourself in a game show situation with 5th graders helping you... Don't try to be a hero.. Go for the easy ones first... Because they're easy.  Then you use your cheats gradually during the rest of them.
Jason:  Exactly.
Chico:  The Millionaire Lifeline strategy revised. Use your peek first, then copy, and only activate the save as a last resort if indeed it is possible.
Jason:  I think so.
Gordon: I agree with that. So what were the questions that did them in?
Chico:  Levi's question...Mount Kilimanjaro is located on what continent?
Jason:  Uh...africa.
Chico:  Right. Levi said Asia.
Jason:  Ouch.
Chico:  Meanwhile, the question that did Karl in was...

The US state of Indiana borders which Great Lake?

Jason:  I lthink It's Lake Michigan
Chico:  Right. If you remember your US map, you know that Indiana is right next to Chicago. :)  So there you have it. No one's smarter than a 5th grader... stay tuned. Meanwhile, they still won't let 5th graders be pirates.
Jason:  Pirates!
Chico:  While we were watching Are You Smarter..., everyone else was watching Pirate Master, from the same guy that brought you Are You Smarter...It's basically like every other Burnett competitive reality show with one hitch. And it's a big, involved one. Try and follow me here. Teams rotate each week. First team to find the treasure du semain wins the right to appoint a captain of the Picton Castle. Still following?
Gordon: zzzzzzzzzyeahsurewhateverzzzzzzzzzzz
Chico:  The captain appoints two officers. Together, they choose three people to be marked for elimination.  Then at Pirates' Court, they vote on who will be "cut adrift". The vote can go one of four ways.
Jason:  One of the three people.....or if they are unanimous in their vote...
Chico:  The one word a pirate fears. The Bounty had a famous one.
Jason:  Mutiny.
Chico:  Right. If the two officers agree to join the mutiny, the captain is eliminated.... and that's Pirate Master in a nutshell. It's Survivor on a boat, but just like the Apprentice was Survivor: New York. You know, enough wrinkles to keep it fresh.
Jason:  You think so...I don't.
Chico:  Do tell.
Jason:  The music is the same, the graphics are the same...the cutaways are the same.
Gordon: I agree with Jason. I think the Apprentice is a much different game than Survivor. I think that Pirate Masters is Survivor on a Boat, and the tweaks used in this game should have been used in Survivor instead of wasting it here.
Jason:  This is the worst copy since The Cut.
Gordon: Mark Burnett has decided that he is not going to listen to his past errors, and as he saturated the Apprentice with Martha Stewart, he is saturating Survivor with this.
Chico:  He really would've done well enough to leave well enough alone. Put this into a new season of Survivor. Change the game totally.  As it is, you have castoff Survivor rejects in a castoff Survivor premise.
Jason:  And this is getting worse ratings than Game Show Marathon last year.,
Chico:  But still... it's not as bad as all that. It just need a shot in the arm from something. It needs... a ninja. :)
Gordon: Maybe if the crew was attacked by a gang of ninjas.
Jason:  LOL
Chico:  But still, it beats another year of Treasure Hunters. This could be a frightening trend here, I've noticed. Take the hottest summer movie... make a reality show out of it.
Gordon: Or what's even more frightening - make a reality show about making movies.
Chico:  Don't get me started on On the Lot.
Gordon: And the critics will point to this and say - well yes, the reality genre is fading, look at all of these duds.
Chico:  Interesting how they all happen in the summer.
Gordon: I find it speaks volumes when On the Lot is getting slaughtered by BINGO (which ends in it's own right in 2 weeks)
Chico:  Actually, its run is allowed to end. Don't know what connotation that has, but Bingo is actually finishing its six episode run.
Jason:  I mean AGT got high ratings...but the show itself wasnt that great.
Chico:  More than what can be said about "Master of Champions" last year. Agreed. The only talent we saw that the judges liked... Saxamaphone guy.
Jason:  And a Bianca Ryan wannabe and a human slinky
Gordon: It's the only talent that I liked, a side from David Hasselhoff's cheeseburger fantasy
Chico:  I didn't care much for Bianca wannabe... Human Slinky had potential :) And meanwhile, it seems that the planting of Sharon Osbourne as judge is having the intended effect.
Gordon: I don't think it's saying much when we are talking about a rainbow colored pretzel. Does Dallas have no talent?
Jason:  This year...yeah.
Chico:  ... No. They all went to So You Think You Can Dance, which had its toughest round of cuts this year.  Especially with the ladies...Folks... pay attention. THAT is how you make, market, and deliver a summer show.
Jason:  I think Fox has the Year Round...Idol/Dance thingy going.
Chico:  Except for fall. Luckily they have that whole Simpsons/Family Guy/House thing to fall back on.
Gordon: There's a theme there - get the relatives. The sister of champion Benji Schwimmer and the adopted brother of runner-up Travis Wall are in the competition
Chico:  I noticed that. And the sister's in the top 20!
Jason:  Talent runs in the family.
Chico:  What's the going rate on a reality show dynasty?
Jason:  Well know in about 20 years when Trista's 's kid goes on a show.
Gordon: We also have the sister of finalist Stanislav Savish.
Chico:  And so we've come full circle...
Gordon: Meanwhile, in the land of actual good reality shows, The Top Chef 1 Class defeated the Top Chef 2 class in their reunion special. That will move on into this week, as we see the premiere of Top Chef 3
Jason:  And the Next Food Network Star debuted to record Ratings last Sunday....4.7 Million People...Which is MONSTER for Food Network.
Gordon: See. that's where the GOOD shows are. Chico, do you get the Food Network?
Chico:  Hell yeah, I get the Food Network.
Jason:  I haven't finished the recap. But you will see it soon right here.
Chico:  I'm all about Iron Chef myself, but you know, Food Network Star is also good. And World Series of Blackjack... always nice to watch. Great to have Matt Vasgersian back at the booth.
Gordon: What happened on the debut week?
Chico:  AC Hilton qualifier George Mandilaras wins this round and a seat in the semis, while super satellite  winner Phil Dunaway has to wait until the Wild card. Meanwhile Hot Chips Tiffany Michelle went cold. Oh, and all hope for a Jeff Bernstein repeat... Dashed.
Gordon: Awww.
Chico:  So so far, the summer... is a mixed bag. You may find something you like right now.. Chances are you won't. Depends on your personal preference, as always.
Jason:  As for Next Food Network Star, we had two eliminations.
Chico:  Two?
Jason:  Vivien Cunha of Rio De Janeiro and Patrick Rolfe from Seattle, WA. Two hour debut.
Chico:  Ah, that explains it.
Gordon: I guess you can say that their goose was cooked?
Jason:  Yup.
Chico:  Speaking of geese getting cooked, it's the perfect time to grab a snack. What do you say, folks?
Jason:  Sounds good.
Chico:  Okay, still to come, the rest of the Push or Flush from last time, but up next... it's hamster time.
Gordon: This is WLTI, now in the 15th season of creating good analysis and awful puns.

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