Episode 23.20 - #300!
May 24

Chico: It's really simple... You see where you make your stupid mistakes? Don't make 'em.
Gordon: I'd watch :)
Chico: I bet you would.
Josh: Makes three of us.
Chico: Welcome back. This is WLTI's epic 300th episode. It's like the last 299, only... well... epic.
Josh: It's like the last, only these two have had 299 rounds to practice.
Chico: As we do every 100 episodes, we're going to start our fun time with... the very first game ever played on WLTI... ROLEPLAY!
Josh: YAY! Heads on Sticks
Gordon: And let's start with Josh.
Josh: *takes the mask, not looking at it* Ok, who am I?
Gordon: Josh, you are...

Russell Hantz. You now went to 2 straight Survivor Finals and won neither of them. You ready to break office furniture yet?

Josh: Nah, not really. Think about it. I still finished in the money on both occasions, PLUS, I got the fan vote this past time, so I got six digits of cash coming my way. But if you want my non CBS opinion, yah I'm (censored). I try my winning strategy out, and now I look like a (censored) idiot!
Chico: Maybe you should check out another strategy. Just a suggestion.
Josh: What the (Censored) Do you know? Huh? I've been watching this show since day one! I had it planned and then the unexpected happens twice. I just have to figure out how I can cover things up a bit better.
Chico: Yeah, good luck with that. Okay, G... ready?
Gordon: There you go, Next one, Chico?
Chico: Okay, Gordon, you are...Kara DioGuardi.
Gordon: Did you see me last year in my bikini?
Chico: So we are going to get more waves turning into a hurricane then. Seconds, hours, and days and all that.
Gordon: Oh, yes.

You're once again tasked with writing the coronation single to this season of AI. Care to give us a preview?

Gordon: Well, I had 2 strategies.
Chico: What strategies are those?
Gordon: #1, Because of the bikini last year, I'd wear nothing but tassels and pasties this year to detract the fact that my song will go right into the WIlliam Hung bargain bin. #2, I'm just going to remake 'Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini' and put viral videos of me naked all over YouTube. It will go over great!
Chico: ... #1. Definitely. #2...(shudders). Okay, me next. Who am I, G?
Gordon: Chico, you are...a Jonathan Mangum Bobblehead Let's Make a Deal doll.
Chico: Nice!
Josh: *bats the top of Chico's mask to make it bobble*

We know you've been behind the scenes watching all the new Zonks on the set. Give us the scoop on the new season #2 Zonks.

Chico: Oh man, we've got a whole mess of 'em. You remember the Radio Flyer from the old LMAD?
Gordon: Sure do.
Chico: We've got a giant push buggy. And then we have an old phone booth...The world's largest ping-pong table...More rotting pieces of garbage...And then... Half a truck. And because I know you like despair... we have a raincloud that follows you all over the place.
Gordon: Nice! I like it.
Josh: Yay
Chico: I like the half-truck myself.
Gordon: OK Chico. give one to Josh.
Chico: Okay, Josh...
Josh: *takes the mask* Ok, shoot.
Chico: Josh, you are... Sharon Osbourne.
Josh: Oh lord

You were the Donald's friend. You were on a show on the same network. Piers Morgan, your cohort, won the Celebrity Apprentice. Question.... What went wrong?

Gordon: Wait wait wait. Before Josh talks... (gives Josh Kleenex tissues)
Josh: *blows nose*
Chico: HA!
Josh: *takes a kleenex and dabs his mask's eyes* I lost out because of that damn AGT rivalry. Really, Piers doesn't have a scoobies as to what's going on...*SOOOOBBBB* AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO WIN THIS COMPETITION!!!! Wahhhh!!! I GET ANYTHING I WANT!!
Chico: Aww... There there...
Josh: It's cause I can't get what I hope for at home with Ozzy and my children. *head-desk* *sobs loudly again*
Gordon: (Donald Trump Comes in. Hits the 'X" button. Leaves)
Josh: WAHHHHH!
Chico: Alrighty then. Someone get this lady a shammy or something.
Josh: Thank Gosh...My fake crying is very bad.
Gordon: Next one...

Chico and Josh, you are...Ant and Dec. when do you both get a hit stateside?

Josh: Quite frankly, I think they need to find a show the two of us can host together, like Saturday Night Takeaway. Cause Wanna Bet, although it's good, it's not good for a Double Act.
Chico: Nope. Though it did get us out there. I only wish it lasted longer. But hey, Simon's bringing X Factor stateside. We can put a good word in.
Josh: We can try, but I think Simon's sick of us, quite frankly. What makes you say that? I mean sure we're hosting every TV show in Britain that isn't hosted by Noel Edmonds...
Chico: And sure we're grating on Yankees' nerves. But that shouldn't stop us, should it?
Gordon: I look at it this way. At least neither of you is Vernon Kay.
Chico: That's true. You see the teeth on that guy? Yeesh.
Gordon: Ive seen the adultry records. Last one, Chico?
Chico: Last one...

Gordon, you're Howie Mandel. Josh, you're John O'Hurley. This week marks your last shows for now. Any last words?

Josh: I want to say thank you for letting me go out on my terms. I will have a lot of fond Memories of hosting the Feud, and thanks for letting me put my twist on things. I also want to thank Dancing With The Stars for giving me some exposure to get the job. (To Howie) At least my show ain't cancelled.
Gordon: No, but your career is. (Hits the X button)
Josh: Good luck with that show, Seriously. I'm going to Broadway.
Gordon: I'll still be ON the air, makeing people laugh and little girls cry. you'll be making seniors spill their water during the Wednesday matinees.
Josh: I'll be making theater goers laugh and applaud, which as a performer, is what you really want aside from the cash.
Gordon: That's like the athlete saying when you lose by 30 points that it's a moral victory. You're still a ratings LOSER>
Josh: Excuse me? When has your show been above a 1.0?
Gordon: First season I was a 2.0, buddy. Which your show never was. Even now, my show is over a 1.0.
Josh: First season for you was Primetime. That doesn't count.
Gordon: First season in syndication, Sponge Bob Square Brain. Now go over to Spamalot and try to find your talent in the castle moat.
Josh: At least my show is still continuing next season.
Gordon: And it's continuing because you're no longer on it.
Chico: Okay! Before this becomes a blood bath...
Josh: *whaps Gordon with his mask*
Gordon: Hey!
Chico: ... or that happens. Let's take a break.
Josh: *goes to a corner*
Gordon: Grrrr....
Chico: Next up, we take a look back at what happened over the last 100 shows and see if we learned anything (that's two years, BTW). Resolutions... Next.
Josh: Sorry Gordon.

(Brought to you by Heads Up Programming. We've seen this with poker players. Now let's see it with network executives. Whoever is better heads up gets to win $250,000...or their yearly salary.)

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