Episode 23.13 - April Foolin'
April 5

Chico: Hey folks. Tonight the roles of Gordon Pepper and Chico Alexander.... will be played by the same.
Gordon: For once.
Chico: Ha.
Gordon: I hope everyone out there is enjoying their Easter/Passover/Whatever Buddhists celebrate this time of year.
Chico: We celebrate every day of the year. Which explains why I can be totally exuberant at times.
Gordon: Well, life itself is a celebration, yes?
Chico: You know it. And this thing we do each week... even more so.
Gordon: So how's about we get to celebrating for the next 3 or so hours?
Chico: Love it. From Somewhere in America... the celebration that is... WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: We hope you enjoyed our April Fool's fest a few days back. Now we get to shows that had their own April 1st flavor.
Chico: And for the most part, they were a good laugh riot. Let's start with TPIR.
Gordon: Ok, Pat, let's start there.
Chico: Alright, Pat. Now, last year's Fool Fest was hard to top. This year... they pretty much outdid themselves, as Mimi Bobeck took over as EP (acting like some marks do)...
Gordon: It was. and I don't think this year topped it, but it was still fun.
Chico: Rich was in a gorilla suit, the models were... guys... and everyone was named Pat. Now we'll get to the whole Pat deal in a moment. But first, let's go over a few stats. Now special shows... how do they usually do?
Gordon: They do as well as Barack Obama at a Tea Party sponsored by members of the Tea Party.
Chico: About that, yeah. Someone must have told the crew at 33 that it was reverse day, because we had a five-for-six show.
Gordon: See, it IS April Fools Day!
Chico: Yay! Plinko... $21,000. One Away, ... lost. Pick-a-Pair... hot tub. Range game.. HDTV and chair. Lucky Seven... Hyundai Genesis. Double Prices... double motorcycles.
Gordon: As Mimi plays the role of the special effects lady
Chico: The MIGHTY... special effects lady.
Gordon: High and mighty.
Chico: Now let's go into Showcases. First Showcase - a trip to Cabo San Lucas, a trip to Rome and a Ford F-150. I'm going to keep this Showcase and bid $38,420.
Gordon: You do that.
Chico: which means, Glasses Pat, you get a trip to Cabo San Lucas, a trip to Rome, and a Ford F-150..... and a Mini Cooper.
Gordon: Ooooh. Well let's look at this logically. I have to bid more than you.
Chico: Obviously. But how MUCH more?
Gordon: I thin it's a Mini-Convertible, not a mini cooper. And those are expensive.
Chico: It's a Mini Cooper convertible.
Gordon: So I'm going to say $63,870
Chico: Okay, My showcase: $38,451, for a difference of $31. YOUR Showcase: $63,901, for a difference of.... $31.
Gordon: Do we both win both showcases?
Chico: We win nothing!
Gordon: you are such a tease, you know that?
Chico: A) we're not playing for real... and 2) Scott Robinson makes us ineligible.
Gordon: He makes YOU ineligible. Scott don't know me.
Chico: He makes ME ineligible.
Gordon: I never went on the TPIR tour :)
Chico: No, but you could if you want to. Like, "Hey, I'm the guy from that thing. Can I go on the tour? Did I mention I know Travis Schario?"
Gordon: I wanted to keep my eligibility :)
Chico: Right. Oh, one more thing: a new season high that day. $125,536. Lots of numeros.
Gordon: Oui Oui.
Chico: NOW we get to the part where we take the reaction to such things and put it in perspective. You notice that everyone was named Pat, right?
Gordon: Right
Chico: And we get the usual response from the usual crowd crying foul about it, right?
Gordon: Right
Chico: I wanted to get your thought about it. Mine was "Hey, as long as you spell the name right on the check, you could call me Joe Bob Sexypants."
Gordon: And since I'd claim my residence as a pineapple under the sea, you could call me Sponge Bob Square Sexypants.
Chico: It would be a sexy pineapple, but yeah. It just seems to me to be another overblown reaction by the usual suspects, you know? Who'll honest to god complain about anything nowadays.
Gordon: Seriously, it's not a big deal. I don't need my name announced if you're going to give me a car or $21,000 in cash. You all go out with the high and mighty attitudes and I'll have no problem taking your space in contestants row.
Chico: There are a lot of legitimate things to grouse about vis-à-vis TPIR. This is not one of them.
Gordon: It's called a sense of humor, people. Go out and cultivate one.
Chico: I. Concur.
Gordon: Now who's up for Pat Sajak, Neil Patrick Harris, Jeff Probst and Will Ferrell hosting Jeopardy?
Chico: Yes, yes, yes, oh god yes. That was probably the best April Fool's gag of the lot we've seen that day.
Gordon: Jeopardy interwove clips of the aforementioned people playing the role of Alex. It was very well done.
Chico: Very well done indeed. And you know something? I'm going to admit something here. You may have been looking at a run-of-the-mill April Fool's joke. I was looking at the future. I'm like "You know what... I could see Neil and/or Jeff doing this job."
Gordon: You know, I had the exact same mindset. I was wondering if this could be an audition tape for Jeff or Neil. I think they could both do a really good job.
Chico: I think so, too. I think Will would be too busy, and I think Pat... well, he's already gainfully employed.
Gordon: He's got a date with a big spinning thing that causes blindness.
Chico: While we're on Pat, there were 10 things wrong with Wheel on Thursday. Did you get them all?
Gordon: I did. Wanna Big Board on it?
Chico: yes I do.

Gordon: The Subject: Wheel of Fools.
Chico: Wheel wheel wheeeeeeel...
Gordon: If you missed it, here's your 10 blunders. 1. Pat and Vanna walked out on the opposite side of where they usually do. 2. Vanna, for one of the puzzles, was on the left side instead of the right. 3. Pat was wearing an earring.
Chico: Nothing wrong with that. =p
Gordon: Now those are more procedural things, so if you aren't a daily fan of the show, you wouldn't consider these April Fools jokes, per se.
Chico: Right. Go on.
Gordon: 4. Charlie, Pat and Vanna were the contestants for the opening clip. 5. The Bankrupts were spelled 'Bankrut' and were from different countries. 6. For the Mystery round, it was Charlie O'Donnell doing the display and not Vanna...
Chico: That was funny.
Gordon: 7. The Final Spin clip was from 1992. 8. Pat Changed clothes just for the bonus round. 9. Pat and Vanna were in the audience when they had the family shot, and 10. Pat and Vanna were wearing nametags when the show ended.
Chico: If you got 1-3, you need to watch more Wheel. If you got 4-6, you're a pretty good watcher. If you got 7-9, you're a BIG time Wheel fan. And if you got all 10... you probably need to go outside :-)
Gordon: But it's all wet and rainy out there.
Chico: It's either that or take a trip to the Seychelles.
Gordon: Do they sell Seychelles by the seashore?
Chico: Look for a Susie. Susie sells seashells by the Seychelles seashores... Fat lot of good it would've done the Cowboys, though.



Gordon: The cowboys come in last. Fortunately, it's a non-elimination leg. Unfortunately, it was one of the most painful hours of Amazing Race TV ever. big Bored, please?

Gordon: The Subject: A Comedy of Errors
Chico: Ha ha HA... bort.
Gordon: #1. Always position yourself by the exits of an airplane. Why? Because you're the first ones off the plane.
Chico: right. I know this from experience.
Gordon: Louis and Michael, Carol and Brandy, and Jet and Cord don't heed that. so they are stuck waiting an extra hour for a helicopter to take them to the next place.
Chico: I'm guessing they go from the airport to another place via helicopter. Early chopper vs late chopper.
Gordon: #2. Don't lose your nuts. The Cowboys, Dan/Jordan. Brent /Caite and Craol/Brandy all lost their nuts.
Chico: And were told to return to get their nuts.
Gordon: These would be coconuts on a cart with oxen.
Chico: And the locals know when you miss your coconuts, so... 2a) Don't argue with the locals.
Gordon: The locals know where they can find your nuts.
Chico: Nuts.
Gordon: 3. If you're trying to lure a turtle by making him chase a banana, 3. Don't feed your banana to a turtle until he produces.
Chico: That's just psychology right there.
Gordon: Carol and Brandy feed their turtle their banana at the starting gate. Hence, the turtle doesn't move.
Chico: A) that's added weight. And 2) that's subtracted motivation.
Gordon: So then they switch tasks and they lose their nuts, too.
Chico: So they lose their nuts and lose their banana... Could this show get ANY WORSE?
Gordon: Right and Right. #4. When you do feed your turtle your banana, make sure you keep your backpacks with you. Steve and Allie...don't. Hence, they are bereft backpacks and will race without them for the rest of the show (unless they buy new ones).
Chico: Tell me they still have docs.
Gordon: They do.
Chico: Oh, good.
Gordon: #5. If you're supposed to find a map in a bottle, make sure you have the bottle.
Chico: I was just going to get to that. This is what ends up doing the cowboys in... They just go to the Pit Stop... and they don't have a bottle. They're supposed to have a bottle.
Gordon: Louis and Michael do that, and it's only because of Brent and Caite (who wanted to see Carol and Brandy gone) that they keep Louis and Michael out of last.
Chico: Now when Phil asks you... "how'd you get here?" That's usually a sign that you screwed up somewhere.
Gordon: Jet and Cord, meanwhile, don't have a bottle at all, and they are sent back to the beach. That allows Carol and Brandy to edge them out of last.
Chico: Much to the dismay of $500,000 WWTBAM winners Brent & Caite.
Gordon: So basically, in this episode, EVERY team screwed up at least once. Are these your worst final 6 teams ever?
Chico: .... Thinking... Thinking...... and YES.
Gordon: Would that also make your American Idol Top 9 the worst 9 ever?
Chico: Thinking... thinking... ... and YES.



Gordon: I still have 1 week to decide.
Chico: I'm holding you to that. This week, it's Idols vs. blazin' R&B soul. Now this week should've been a walk, because the catalogue, if you think about it, is so diverse. And for the most part, it was leaps and bounds above LAST week. But as Didi Benami proved... you NEVER want to have an off week.
Gordon: Meanwhile, the 4 front-runners did their thing. The 3 people in the middle (Siobhan, Aaron and Andrew, who elevated himself to mid-pack status when he finally sang well) did their thing, and your bottom 3 of Tim, Didi and Katie did their thing and stunk up the joint.
Chico: Let's see... Tim sang silky smooth jazz standard with all the passion of day old dishwater.
Gordon: Didi was pitchy and sounded like doodie. Hence, she got flushed.
Chico: And Katie... was robotic. And soulless, per usual.
Gordon: She's got a great voice. She needs to add that panache to it.
Chico: She needs to FIND where she left that panache first. So we get day old dishwater and a fembot for another week, while Didi gets flushed. Next week is the Lennon-McCartney songbook. Again, VERY diverse. It's hard material, but if you are familiar with it, you should have no problem.
Gordon: This is where David Cook turned into a front runner on Season 7.
Chico: But Tim... after THREE WEEKS in the bottom... needs a hit.
Gordon: Tim needs a disaster by Katie.
Chico: You think he can escape ANOTHER ouster?
Gordon: Realistically? No. However, stranger things have happened.
Chico: Yep. We haven't had chaos in the top 12 yet. I think it's about time.
Gordon: Not yet. Chaos doesn't show up until the Round of 8 or 7. This week it's Tim Vs. Katie. Then it becomes interesting.
Chico: Alrighty.
Gordon: But if Katie can sing well, that could make things interesting this week.
Chico: But basically we're looking at two singers who are in need of a miracle.
Gordon: Russell needed a miracle for the past 2 weeks. And he got it.



Chico: Now this week was interesting. For one, the heroes manage to win both Reward AND Immunity without the supposed strength of James. For another, we see the Villains seemingly split down the middle.
Gordon: Russell needed one more person. He got it in the form of Jerri, who split with coach
Chico: Boston Rob, who famously said, "If you're not with me, you're against me", definitely found out who was against him this week.
Gordon: His big problem wasn't this week, but last week.
Chico: Do elaborate, sir.
Gordon: If Tyson followed the crowd, then Russell is gone and it's now time to pick off Parvati and Danielle. However, you now have Jerri and Coach as the switch votes, and boy did they ever switch.
Chico: That's right. I remember going over this last week.
Gordon: With Rob getting booted, you know have a majority of 4 (Russell, Parvati, Danielle, Jerri) and a minority of 3 (Coach, Sandra and Courtney)
Chico: You basically have a rift between old-school Survivor players and new-school Survivor players.. On one hand, you have people who will approach this as "what's good for me in the short term"?
Gordon: I don't agree with that. I agree with more of what you are saying of short term vs. long term.
Chico: Then you have those who'll say, "Hey, this person's dead weight. I'll cut him loose when the timing's right". That seems to be the NEW way to play Survivor. Certainly I didn't see Boston Rob play that way.
Gordon: The question is - when is the person dead weight. JT made a huge error when he cut Tom off too soon, and I think he'll be gone sooner than later.
Chico: Next chance the heroes get. Watch.
Gordon: Russell made a wise choice. You have to get rid of the people who want you gone first.
Chico: Yup.
Gordon: Regardless of strength.
Chico: If you don't, guess what, they're going to make a move. And you're not going to like their move. But yeah, Russell doesn't think about who's good for the tribe. He thinks about who's good for Russell.
Gordon: Nope. if I'm Coach, who not only lost the vote of the tribe, but just lost my biggest ally, Jerri, I'd make sure my team doesn't lose another immunity challenge. Same with JT.
Chico: JT. I figured. Anyway. That's what we're looking at this week. What we're ALSO looking at is the season premiere of TUF. It's Team Liddell versus Team Ortiz.
Gordon: And as usual, we start with fighting your way into the house.
Chico: And we love it like that. Skip the drama, let's get to the meat and potatoes.
Gordon: Yep. We get some brutal matches too, which results in busted noses and blood everyone. Mmmm, blood.
Chico: Let's go over the fight card here... 14 fights to start. 28 Fighters. Win, and you're in. We have three wins by knockout... Five by TKO... Four by unanimous decision... One by majority decision... and one by submission. And we're not done yet. Because Dana White is going to pick TWO wild cards who'll fight for a spot in the next round. Big change there.
Gordon: You know, I like this. You don't want the trip to end with a nice fight, while you have other people get in only to be escorted out quickly in the next round due to lack of heart.
Chico: Nope. After all, this is TUF. You want the pace kept up ALWAYS.
Gordon: And you want people who want the win, not the camera time.
Chico: There you go.
Gordon: Speaking of camera time, I got letters here from ChenBot, Ken-Jen, Hans, Eve, Chairman and Gordon Jr. They want more cheese this week because they had to work on April 1st.
Chico: I'll hook'em up. They did well. And I hope you all did enjoy... Hamster Takeover 2K10.
Gordon: Sure did. Now while you're giving them extra cheddar, Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thank you, Doug. Gordon?
Gordon: I'll start with a Datebook.

Wednesday gives us more fresh meat with Real World Road Rules Challenge, Fresh Meat 2. If you prefer the fish, try Top Chef Masters. And on Tuesday we have yet another season of your favorite show hosted by a Queer Eye alum ever... Chopped.

Chico: Yay.
Gordon: It's a great show.
Chico: I like it.
Gordon: And I like baseball, which starts today on Easter Sunday. What goes with a baseball? (Hands Chico the bat)
Chico: Yankees (YAY!) vs. Red Sox... (Boo...)

"Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" is a firm go for season 2, having been renewed in 80% of the country. It'll also return on CMT and MyNetwork TV.

Gordon: That's a good thing. It's a solid show. Now can we have more contestants and less C-Level celebrities please?
Chico: PLEASE? You get the contestants, I'll get the green light.
Gordon: Greenlight me.

This green light comes with a red couch: GolTV has picked up the US rights to "Soccer Aces", with US tryouts slated for April 17 in Houston. Go to goltv.tv or socceracestv.com for more info.

Chico: So if you play soccer and you want to be in a show that looks for the world's best... there you go.
Gordon: Now those are Soccer Aces, right?
Chico: Right.
Gordon: What about if you wanted to see some asses?
Chico: You mean smart aces or dumb aces?
Gordon: Dumb. Definitely dumb.

Are YOU Smarter than...the promotional staff at Game Show Network, who decide to unleash Dumbville on April Fool's Day.

Chico: Right
Gordon: Now first of all, Chico, is this real or an April Fool's Joke?
Chico: That's real. This is perfectly legit. It's at www.facebook.com/dumbville
Gordon: We have a number of problems here. 1. You NEVER unveil something new during April Fool's Day.
Chico: (see "Gmail")
Gordon: 2. Who's going to download this?
Chico: So far, 10 of "my friends".
Gordon: Are they game show fans?
Chico: Yes they are.
Gordon: What about the rest of the world?
Chico: Well, if you don't have a GSN.com account that collects Oodles, then I don't really see a point.
Gordon: Exactly. If you want to create an app, make it more user friendly to people who aren't familiar with the GSN brand. Now I'm not saying that this is a bad idea. It could be very good.
Chico: I could see where it is very good.
Gordon: But I am saying is that GSN, like they do everything else, flummoxed the advertising and promotion of this. And I quote, "I can identify Barack Obama, but counting unicorns' horns and trying to arrange sheep from smallest to largest gets me every time," said Peter Blacklow, EVP of GSN Digital. "As one of the dumbest executives in the games industry, I'm confident I'll excel at Dumbville."
Chico: Insert joke here.
Gordon: Why yes, Peter. Yes you are.
Chico: I didn't learn that TNG was premiering this month from GSN... I learned from Entertainment Tonight... DUMBVILLE, right there.
Gordon: Now as for some Haterade...

The Dancing with the Stars curse LIVES! Evan Lysacek breaks 2 toes and Erin Andrews gets death threats.

Chico: just another day on the dance floor.
Gordon: Speaking of which, both Dancing With the Stars and So You Think You Can Dance personalities took offense with Simon Cowell ripping their own back-up music singers.
Chico: Gee. You think so? What are the fricking odds?
Gordon: 1:1. After this week's Idol results, I need to get Fully Loaded.
Chico: you may get OVERloaded after what I got for ya.
Gordon: Whoo hoo! hic

Family Feud for Facebook... Wheel of Fortune for Mobiles... Survivor for iPad... Top Chef for Facebook... Idol voting... for Facebook... and the premiere of Celebrity Liar online.

Chico: That's a lot of loaded.
Gordon: Wow. I don't think I have that many hours in the day.
Chico: Sure you do. You're just not trying hard enough. Do you have enough hoes in the day?
Gordon: I have plenty of those.
Chico: (plays "Pimpin' All over the World")

In this week's Media Ho Report, John O'Hurley decides to turn hog waste into power, Carnie Wilson says the reports of her fainting on The Newlywed Game set are untrue, John Forsythe passes...

(silences)

Jesse James checks himself into a 'Therapy Center', Erin Andrews insists she's not dating 'Maks' on DWTS, and Stephanie Edwards is arrested for brawling in public. Oops.

Gordon: But none of them are your Ho of the Week.
Chico: Can't wait to hear this one.
Gordon: It's Alex Lambert, who thanks to a 20,000 signature petition, gets selected for 'If I Can Dream', a show about 6 wanna be media hoes living in a house in the Hollywood Hills
Chico: Who are the other hoes, I wonder?
Gordon: He joins Justin Gaston (Miley Cyrus' ex), Giglianne Braga, Kara Kilmer, Amanda Philips and Ben Elliott.
Chico: Ah. Never heard of 'em.
Gordon: You may...soon... And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And speaking of s#!t you can't make up... You know for a while I've been trying feverishly to pitch the idea of giant robots on a TV game show... I may get my wish in Britain.

ITV and Impossible Pictures are working on a premise called "Fight For Me", which would have "robots controlled by contestants" "battle to the death."

Chico: It ain't Gundam, but it's a start.
Gordon: And here I thought Pizza rolls overtook the popularity of toy robots.
Chico: NEVER! ITV is developing for UK AND the US. So something to watch out for.
Gordon: ...guess not. And that's Brainvision. Shut it down.
Chico: Done. Still to come, Gordon looks into his magic bowling ball of foresight...
Gordon: But first, we get clipped. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you 22 April Fools pranks we're thinking of for 2011.

(Brainvision is powered by the University of New Jersey at Durham... when you want to go to an elite Ivy League school... but you don't want all those Ivy League elitists looking at you like that.)

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