Episode 23.1 - Love, WLTI Style
January 11

Gordon: It's the year 2010. It's a new decade. New promise. A new age of enlightenment. So as we look to a new ten years (and be really happt last decade is gone), we are in a mood to love. Aren't you in a mood to love, Chico?
Chico: I'm always in a mood to love.
Gordon: Because you are Chico, the paragon of love.
Chico: It's what I am. It's what I do.
Gordon: As for me, I'm one of those people who takes the candy sweethearts from the bag and mashes them up with a hammer before eating them.
Chico: And you sir have a problem :-)
Gordon: BUT. It's a new decade, so I'm ready to give this love thing a chance.
Chico: Let's give this love thing a chance. But first...New decade, same opening. From Somewhere in America, the "Love, WLTI Style" edition of WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: Happy new year, folks, I'm Chico Alexander alongside the ever vigilant Gordon Pepper...
Gordon: (Raises hand over eyes)
Chico: And you know why we're here... We take hard news, information, insight... and dress it up with a little cheap humor. Although it's the finest cheap humor you're going to get anywhere.
Gordon: Though sometimes the humor is real cheap like a discounted dress at Filene's Basement. Or a 10 year old brandy.
Chico: We'll leave it up to you to decide which after we're done. Let's get right to it with what has to be the biggest story of the year, which isn't a challenge given that the year is a week old.
Gordon: We start the show with something ranging from fairly funny to fairly sad, depending on how you look at it.
Chico: Our Little Genius...Game show on Fox... has little kids playing for big money. It WON'T air in the next week or so. but it may not air PERIOD. And you know, when this broke, it was just ... stop whatever it is you're doing and perk up your ears important.
Gordon: Allegedly, the show (as well as the series) may be cancelled. Now that in itself is small news. Shows get cancelled all the time - even ones in the can before they make the air (see season 3 of The Moment of Truth, which we may not see ever. Boo.).
Chico: I know you're still heartbroken.
Gordon: I am. I think about the Lauren Cleri days and I want a hankie.
Chico: But it was the behind the scenes shenanigans that prompted Mark Burnett, who created and produced the show, to say, you know.... this is the line. Let's not cross it, and ask Fox to pull the show.
Gordon: And it's why the show is being cancelled that's making the news.
Chico: And the "line" is that the contestants may... or may not... have gotten advanced information on the subject matter of the game.
Gordon: Now if you're not familiar with the format, here it is; it's a trivia game, but it's the kids that are being asked the questions, while the adults are the deciders on whether or not to pull the trigger.
Chico: It's more or less like 5th Grader meets Set for Life, or really any post-Millionaire money-ladder game show....meets Set for Life.
Gordon: Which I flushed like a bad habit, while Chico, who must have been watching way too much Kardashian for his own good, pushed it.
Chico: I'm beginning to regret that decision.
Gordon: And you should.
Chico: I mean, I watched the previews, I thought it was cute. Now with all that's going on... not so cute.
Gordon: Watching nervous parents is not cute. Watching kids who may have been fed the answers in advance is even less so.
Chico: This was back when the world believed that it was on the up and up. Now, I can't believe anything. The only thing we know for sure is that the kids "were not given the answers".
Gordon: Apparently, the kids were told that they won't go home with anything less than $10,000, and certain shows were retaped if a kid failed before that.
Chico: Which is nothing new, if you've seen Million Dollar Password. They had two tries to get to the $25,000 benchmark there, and they took the better of the runs.
Gordon: It's just a bad practice, but I'll get on my soapbox on that later.
Chico: Our Little Genius on the other hand, was just a bit less... scrupulous about it? Can we say "a bit less scrupulous?"
Gordon: Another issue had a show 'reshot' when one category that a kid didn't know got replaced with a category that a kid knew. Supposedly, the flub was considered a 'category placement error'.
Chico: Which we'll buy with a two-cent piece.
Gordon: Which leads us to a bevy of questions. The first one being; how serious is this?
Chico: How serious is it... no one is really saying? Now I have the New York Times article in front of me. And it's quoting two staffers, speaking on condition of anonymity, saying that the players were not given answers, but could've benefited from other information. What that information entails, no one is saying right now. But apparently, the leak is so deep that Burnett had to step in and pull rank among other things.
Gordon: Did he pull rank because he 'just found out about it', or did he pull rank because he was caught?
Chico: A case could be made for either.
Gordon: If you look at his previous work, on 5th Grader, there is a disclaimer that says that the kids were given the information in advance. I didn't have a problem with that then and I still don't have a problem with it now, because it's to aid the contestant, not but it doesn't affect the game. The game isn't fun if your Lifelines are useless.
Chico: It's basically the Hollywood Squares Rule in that case. I mean, the game elements may have been privy to information, but in the end, it's up to the player to determine the validity of said information. That's the "I just found out about it" case.
Gordon: Right. Now if you remember a number of year's ago, Stacey Stillman brought up a lawsuit against Burnett accusing him of manipulating the vote and situation on Season one of Survivor. We originally shrugged it off, but now you have to wonder if that actually had any merit behind it.
Chico: So both sides of the story. Which is more accurate, no one is saying... Certainly we're not saying, because honestly, we don't know.
Gordon: And you can't accurately guess without the facts. However, can I get on the soapbox this morning?
Chico: Gordon... You may soapbox.
Gordon: (gets on Soapbox) Last year, I had the opportunity to produce a pilot a game show for a major cable network. It was an amazing experience that I would do again in a heartbeat, and hopefully I will if it gets picked up. We played around 50 games before we presented it in a live audience. I was fortunate to have Chico in attendance, and he enjoyed it. Well, I hope he enjoyed it.
Chico: I thought it was fun and I wanted to meet Amy Schumer afterwards. Oh... God I have a problem =p
Gordon: You and ever other red blooded American. Anyways, the point is that if you have to retape a show because you didn't like an outcome, then there's something wrong with your show.
Chico: The problem, you say, isn't production, it's format. You learned a lot doing this show, didn't you?
Gordon: I did. The show needs to be exciting every bit of the way. When we shot the live demo, Round 1 went great because the contestants played the game well. Round 2 was incredibly entertaining because one team DIDN'T play the game well and the round was a train wreck, but it showed the depth of the game.
Chico: Right. Not to mention it was a laugh riot.
Gordon: That it was. The fact is that a game must play well and be entertaining out of the gate. You shouldn't have to doctor the game up or set rules that everyone must look good. Sometimes you have people llama out early. It's life. How often do we bring refer to Robby Roseman, who lost on the first question? Or Dan Avila, who blew $200,000 on Greed? Or Ken Basin, who gave back $475,000? The kids shouldn't have to look good. If they fail early, it shows that they, like us, are human. And sometimes failure can be more compelling than success. If you can't do that or if the show has to rely on parlor tricks like that, then it shouldn't be on the air.
Chico: Agreed. You have to have the balance of successes and failures, if only to address the validity of your product.
Gordon: Right.
Chico: You can't use a game show to tell a story and just throw the game out when the story you want to tell doesn't match it. That's not how the medium works. The medium works, and has worked for 60 years, like, you come in, you play the game, you win or lose, you walk away.
Gordon: Right. When we heard about the Deal or No Deal story, when they wiped out an episode on the Million Dollar Mission because all of the Million Dollar cases were selected early, it got me annoyed. You can't just wipe out an episode because the drama got sucked out early. That's the fault of the show and format.
Chico: You can't just disregard the game, because without the game, there is no story. You have to play it out to the end. If you don't the show is meaningless.
Gordon: On The Price is Right, we clamor about the train wrecks. But an 0-6 show is just as entertaining as a 6-0 show. And an 'Our Little Genius' show scattered with the trivial carcasses of 3 or 4 kids, while a downer, would be entertaining in it's own right. But you have to let the show have that possibility.
Chico: Alright, if you're done, I would like the soapbox.
Gordon: I'm done (Gets off soapbox)
Chico: (gets on soapbox) ... what he said.
Gordon: Heh.
Chico: Seriously, though. I'm reminded of two comparable moments here. One is from Hell's Kitchen, basically an unwritten rule that says, if you don't like it, how in the hell do you expect others to like it. So that could explain the pull. Or, in another comparable moment from Iron Chef, Iron Symon asked a very golden question... If you create something and you fail at it, are you creative, or are you a failure? Our Little Genius, the production, was, from start to finish... a FAILURE. And this instance served to prove the point. You try and "tell a story" and eventually, you're going to get in the way of game play, and as I've said... time and time again... and I have a feeling this is going to be a title of a book somewhere... Everyone?
Chico/Gordon: IT'S THE GAME, STUPID.
Chico: Okay, I'm done. (Gets off Soapbox) NEXT?
Gordon: Next up, something I KNOW you want to talk about; Frank the Entertainer. And his basement.
Chico: Hey, what happens in the basement stays in the basement... unless you bring a tiger, a chicken, a few VH1 cameras, and a repeat ho-ffender - which is different from a repeat offender, in that the people around her tend to think that she's a total prostitute. And if that prostitute brings a baby, then ALL bets are off. But that's another episode, I'm sure. VH1 has given yet another reality dating show to another direct spawn of the Surreal Life series.
Gordon: Frank has 15 ladies that he can entertain in his basement. Well make that 13 after episode 1, but still, that's a lot of ladies. He also has his mom and dad, who live in the house with him.
Chico: The mom and dad want to find the right woman for him, the woman that will turn his life around. The woman that will, at least for 15 minutes, give Frank some semblance of hope and change... that's not gonna happen, is it?
Gordon: Not a chance. But Season 2 could?
Chico: Let's get season 1 out of the way first. Now we can talk about why VH1 would even try to mount another reality dating series, especially given the events of last year, but it would just give us a headache, so let's get right to the review.
Gordon: Let's start with The Good: This is the usual that you can expect from Mindless Entertainment.
Chico: It works, because the format works.
Gordon: The contestants are vapid, Frank is not all there himself, so you'll have a lot of fun making fun at all involved.
Chico: ... you mean we weren't before? I was going for the fun-making myself, you know?
Gordon: You should. It's always very entertaining when we do that.
Chico: Yes it is. So another good: Frank is indeed entertaining. If only to point at and say "Heh. Sucks to be you."
Gordon: It's always fun to relate to someone and feel better because you're doing better than he is.
Chico: Basically. And you know, it's classic VH1 bubblegum dating trash. So if you're a fan of that stuff... you know what you're getting into, and you shouldn't be surprised about anything.
Gordon: Which leads us to The Bad: If you're looking for Cash Cab, you're not finding it. This is more like Cash Rickshaw with one of those coked-out Scandinavian dudes you'll find at 2am in NYC, weaving in and out of traffic while you're holding on for dear life and praying than you're not going to careen into a department store or one of those mounted policeman's horses.
Chico: Or the by-products of one of those mounted policeman's horses.

	FRANK THE ENTERTAINER... IN A BASEMENT AFFAIR - VH1
	GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	D	D-	D

Gordon: Which, unfortunately, we careened into. More of the same here. D for Dreck.
Chico: This is a parade of stupid people.... made for the entertainment of even more stupid people. But the kids seem to like it, so I can't fail it. Because, you know... say what you will about the formula. It stinks of the south end of a northbound mounted policeman's horse, but it works. So I'll go ... D-?
Gordon: Fair enough. Now one person who deserves much more than a D- is Bob Eubanks.
Chico: Thursday's episode of the Newlywed Game. All I can say is... "This is why we watch." A little back story. I've done the research, and Bob Eubanks is the only person that I could find to have hosted one episode of the same game in the last five decades. The 60's, the 70's, the 80's, the 90's, and the 00's, when this went to tape. That is a record. One host comes close, Monty Hall. He only hosted one segment of the 2004 LMAD. So Close, but no, Monty. But back to TNG... You can tell that this was epic for all involved. Everyone had a good time, this was a classic.
Gordon: Everyone took the game seriously, which made this fun to watch. I was dreading that this could be a train wreck, but fortunately, it wasn't.
Chico: Well, in some ways, it was a train wreck, but the kind of entertaining one that the Newlywed Game is apt to be.
Gordon: It's the train wreck of the good kind
Chico: There you go. I can tell you right now, one of the classic moments, and probably one of the moments that's going to end up in the year-end reel of moments that we'll remember is when... well, Bob asked the question about which one of your wife's friends would you like to see model nude if you were an artist. Rob Configlio, the husband of the person who would normally be asking such things, said... "Louise". When Carnie came back, she guessed what I would've said had I been in the position... Chynna. Because let's be honest... in the group, she was the hot one. And i was of that age when I was noticing the hot women. This was what, 1992?
Gordon: You? 1969
Chico: Ha. So Carnie said "Chynna". And Rob said Louise. And Carnie just asked... "Who the hell is Louise?" "Who in the (^_^) is Louise?" We never found out Louise was!
Gordon: And maybe we were all just better off not knowing. but that's what the Newlywed Game does the best. They nail you on loaded questions.
Chico: But yeah, all in all... This is why we watch the Newlywed Game. This is why it lasted. Not only because of the loaded questions, but because, as Gordon would say, Bob and Carnie know how to put a fire out with kerosene.
Gordon: Excetly.
Chico: And all I will say is... if this isn't a case for season 3... I don't know... Maybe I don't know something I don't know. You know?
Gordon: I do know. Anywho, Carnie and Rob win the game.
Chico: They will donate $10,000 in their name to the Carl Wilson Foundation.
Gordon: And now, we are up to the Food Network part of the show. Cablevision and Scripps (the home of the Food Network) are at an impasse with their contracts. Hence, no Food Network for me, and hence no new shows for me to see. Which means I don't get to review Iron Chef Superbattle or Worst Cooks in America.
Chico: So I have to tackle this party solo because Scripps and TimeWarner Cable ironed something out. So this is going out to everyone in the Tri-State area who didn't get to see these shows.
Gordon: So I'm going to hang out in the basement with Frank Moresca until Chico is done with his review. See ya. (Heads to the basement)
Chico: ... It's lonely.
Gordon: He's got a bar and PS3 TV set. I'll be ok there.
Chico: Anyway, Iron Chef America held an event battle: the Super Chef Battle. On one side, you had celebrity chef Emeril Lagasse and, quite possibly in his final battle at KSA, Iron Chef Mario Batali. On the other side, you have White House executive chef Cristeta Comerford and Iron Chef Bobby Flay. The theme ingredient is offered by the First Lady, one of Q's personal style heroes, Michelle Obama. The theme ingredient... anything you can find in the White House garden. And the theme of the battle: cooking with sustainable ingredients something that will motivate America to eat well. Each dish had to incorporate, of course, something from the White House garden.
Gordon: (Returns from basement with a Yoo Hoo) Yo.
Chico: It was your typical manic hour of culinary battle... and you expect nothing less form ICA, really.
Gordon: Very cool. Now usually I'd ask who won, but since WPIX will be airing the show on Sunday, DON'T TELL ME!
Chico: In terms of audience, it was the highest rated Iron Chef battle... EVER, with 7.6 million viewers.
Gordon: Thanks Scripps. No really, Thanks. :P
Chico: It was epic. I enjoyed it. But because Gordon hasn't watched it yet, I will not say what was made or who won. But damn, that was sexy.
Gordon: Awesome :P. Now let's talk about bad chefs.
Chico: Not just bad. The WORST Cooks in America. That was the biggest series premiere in Food Network history with 4 million watching. But was it the best? The premise: 24 home cooks have come to New York, because their friends and family have judged their cooking to be the absolute be all end all of sucktitude. That's how bad it was. I had to make up a word.
Gordon: Don't know. Couldn't see it.
Chico: And it's not on Food Network's site either. Boo Food Network. So you couldn't watch online. Boo Food Network. But what happens... is that 12 of them are put through the rigueurs of a culinary boot camp. One team of six will be led by Anne Burrell, which you may have seen as Mario Batali's sous chef on ICA. Another team is led by Beau MacMillan.... who went into Kitchen Stadium in season 3's Kobe Beef Battle.. and won. In the end, there will be one person from each team that will cook an entire meal for a panel of culinary critics and the person who cooks the best wins. Now... these panelists have NO IDEA that this food is coming from the worst cooks in America, so not only is $25,000 at stake, but also reputations as chefs and as teachers are on the line. And as you know in the culinary world, reputations are everything. The good... It's unique and it "does what it says on the tin". The cooks are battling each other. The teams are battling each other. The chefs themselves are battling each other. And let me tell you... the things these cooks come up with are bad. Now Gordon... you're feeling left out... I will let you call down the board.
Gordon: Big Board please?

Chico: This is called "Unhappy Meal". Guess who has to cover THIS show. =p
Gordon: Tee hee hee.
Chico: Seriously. We have... Raw Chicken Kabobs with Brown Rice...A "signature date dish" with no discernable ingredients...Peanut Butter Encrusted Cod...
Gordon: Hey. I like my cod with peanut butter.
Chico: You would. We also have the following: Ground turkey meatloaf with yams. Three Cheese Mac & Cheese with cheddar, cottage cheese, and smoked gouda, and "just a bunch of cans of soup thrown in a pot". And... probably the worst of the worst... one. Whole. Boiled. Chicken. With Swiss cheese on top. And apparently six dishes that are not suited for broadcast standards.
Gordon: Sounds like a first date winner. You should take that and impress Jamie Grubbs with it. I mean she liked Tiger Wood's Drumstick, She may like your chicken.
Chico: Ba DUM. And there you go. So that's just one of the bad. The rest of the bad...Anne as a host is almost chirpy to a fault. On the other hand... Beau is a little wooden. He looks like a Marine sergeant and acts like a GI Joe action figure. But they do know their stuff, so I can't jive them for that. But you know, there are two sides to any game show: format and presentation. The format is there. The presentation has room for improvement.
Chico: Basically talking Top Chef level challenges.
Gordon: I have issues with the format. I despise shows in a competition that ask people to sandbag their talents.
Chico: Sand bag their talents?
Gordon: How do you know that I'm not g great chef that's going to be a little kooky so I can be on a reality show and then step up my efforts at the end to win the big money?
Chico: We don't know that.
Gordon: Exactly. I could be Chef Jonathan Heene, for all you know.
Chico: And for all you know, your family and friends could be "in on it", as it were.
Gordon: Agreed. In this economy, where people need the money? Yes. And what's the grand prize?
Chico: Money.
Gordon: How much of it?
Chico: $25,000.
Gordon: I'd fake my skills for a shot at 25 g's.
Chico: I couldn't tell the difference. I've never seen you cook. Me... I could cook less than sub-par, but it would be a complete and utter fabrication of my culinary prowess. I dredge a mean chicken breast.
Gordon: I could be bad if I wanted to. Like my grilled Sardine flavored ice cream.
Chico: Ew.
Gordon: I can't grade this because I haven't seen it, but I'm guessing my grade wouldn't be too good. You, however have seen it. What's your grade?

	WORST COOKS IN AMERICA - Food
	GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	NO GRADE	C-	C-

Chico: Now we have the two factors: the format and the execution... But there's a third factor, the X-factor. On one hand, people who are truly bad at cooking can watch this and leave with something that they could learn and theoretically apply. That's good. On the other hand... Seeing this is almost reminiscent of Superstar USA. Only everyone's in on the joke. So the only thing you're left to do is hope that someone really takes these lessons to heart. Ultimately, it leaves a sour taste in my mouth. C-. I can't fail anything that you can learn from.
Gordon: But can you fail the Conveyor Belt of love?
Chico: Gladly. And I'll tell you why; It is exactly what it says it is... a glorified meat market. They even had the conveyor belt. It's speed dating without the kitsch.
Gordon: Believe it or not...I liked this.
Chico: I'm waiting to hear what you liked about this.
Gordon: Because it was speed dating without the kitsch. And you could learn something - like how to and how NOT to make a good first impression. You got to see what works with women and what doesn't. And sometimes, game show geeks need that sort of a lesson. It wasdn't a perfect show by any means and I'd make some changes (like keeping 2 people in the box and then making a decision at the end of the show), but I thought it was executed well.
Chico: I'm not saying that it wasn't executed well, but it seemed like it was all a bunch of hokum. You have your assortment of tools, people looking for their 15 on the telly, and maybe one or two people who are genuine.
Gordon: Id say around 1/3rd genuine and 20 looking for TV time.
Chico: I'll buy that. Would you buy any of the decisions made on the show?

	CONVEYOR BELT OF LOVE - ABC
	GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C+	C-	C

Gordon: No. But the point is the show. The format is fun and it works. And I did like the first date segments at the end and if there would be a second date. Some I would, actually. Maybe it is a little contrived, but if you actually had serious contestants, this would work. C+
Chico: But again, this format lives and dies on its contestants. And if you're only going to have 20 to 30 percent honestly looking for companionship... God help us all.
Gordon: But that's like that in real life.
Chico: Then why do you need to go on TV?
Gordon: I want my 30 seconds of fame and my name is Wes Hayden.
Chico: It just reminds me of a bad music video. Except for the first date portion. that was actually a bit entertaining.
Gordon: It was like 'ok, did they really make the right choice?'. It was nice to see the consequences of their choices.
Chico: So that much I'll buy. The rest of the package drags it down, so I'll go C-. But if you did enjoy it, I hope you enjoyed the hell out of it, because judging from ratings, it's the only time you'll see it.
Gordon: It will be. A 40% plunge in ratings after The Bachelor will do that to a show.
Chico: Not to mention facing CSI Miami
Gordon: That too. What about facing your past?
Chico: Scary
Gordon: We had a few people get on shows they were on in previous incarnations - LEGITIMATELY (no Kirbys here).
Chico: Talk to us about that.
Gordon: We start with Martha, who got Zonked on the original run of Let's Make a Deal. She avoids another Zonk and wins $1,000 for her troubles.
Chico: nice
Gordon: Then we had Cynthia Brewer, who played Any Number 31 years ago and won money in the Piggy Bank.
Chico: That sucked.
Gordon: She gets on stage and plays Any Number again. This time, she wins a $17,549 Ford Focus.
Chico: That didn't suck. That... was good.
Gordon: Now you know my opinion on return contestants. I don't like it. You should play once and that should be it. Was this entertaining? Of course, but it takes spots from people who haven't played the game once and I'm who who want to play again. Speaking of which, did Jeopardy call you yet?
Chico: No.
Gordon: Aw. Your thoughts on this matter?
Chico: Same as yours. You should only have one go at it, barring certain circumstances. Don't be a jerk and let someone else have a go. While we're on the subject of jerks and repeat offenders...Did you happen to notice Mandy Lynn on Frank the Entertainer?
Gordon: I did, in fact, She's been very busy, like on America's Next Smartest Model.
Chico: She was on that show two years ago on VH1.
Gordon: And in 'America's Most Likely to Bare it all in Playboy Magazine'. Oh wait, she won that one, didn't she?
Chico: Yeah, she looked like (and kinda acted like) she would only model for the webcam, if you follow.
Chico: Now we would have pictures, but this is a family website and... well, we couldn't find any.
Gordon: I found some :)
Chico: You would find some, you skeeve. Why is it that we always discuss game shows and nudity at the first of the year?
Gordon: What makes this week different from any other week?
Chico: Point taken
Gordon: Let's take one more stop on the mini ho train and go to Jeopardy, shall we?
Chico: I already told you they didn't call! =p\
Gordon: Not you. On Thursday night, we had Andrea Saenz become the new Jeopardy Champion. Now what makes this interesting is that Andrea is the wife of current Jeopardy Tournament of Champion winner Dan Pawson. She lasted one episode. Here's the Final Jeopardy Question that did her in. Category: Authors.

In "Comics Review" in 1965, "I Was a Teenage Grave Robber" was his first published work; he's still going strong.

Chico: "Who is Gordon Pepper?" "Who is Frank Miller?" "What is a pepper miller?"
Gordon: No, no and wha?
Chico: Darn.
Gordon: The answer: Stephen King.
Chico: Ah... comics?
Gordon: Comics. But what's not so comical is that if Andrea bet correctly, she'd still be the champ. Big Bored please?

Gordon: Subject: Professor Pepper's Jeopardy betting strategy. Let's go back to our wagers after Double Jeopardy.

Andrea: $9,500. Vaughn: $12,000. Susan: $3,800.

Gordon: Chico, you have $9,500. What's your wager.
Chico: I have to cover Susan's all-in, but at the same time, I have to bet enough to force Vaughn into a correct answer.
Gordon: Well, yes and no. Vaughn has to bet enough to cover you.
Chico: So 9500 - 7600 is 1900... So $1,899.
Gordon: That...is the right answer.
Chico: Haaaay.
Gordon: $1,899 is the right bet. You know Vaughn will cover you, and if he's right, you lose anyways. You have to bet to prevent Susan from sneaking in the back door on a triple stumper.
Chico: Correct.
Gordon: So what happens? Susan gets it right. The 2 front-runners get it wrong and they both bet too much. As a result, Susan wins and Andrea leaves with $34,200. Susan Polinak returns to defend with $7,600.
Chico: Nice
Gordon: And for 2010, the Hamsters created their own Jeopardy Board.
Chico: Great. I'll take Fun Tubes for $1000.
Gordon: For $1,000: This is the Hamsters Favorite Choppler model.
Chico: "What is the Megachoppler 7000?"
Gordon: Very nice. Good for $1,000. Now roll that beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. Now let's get to the first calendar entry of the year... Courtesy of G-Money.

Even without My Little Genius, next week is loaded. American Idol shows up January 12th, the 14th has Hidden Agenda and Project Runway, Season 7, and the 15th has Season 2 of The Singing Bee.

Chico: Guests judges, New York, and Reba. Oh my!
Gordon: Should be a lot of fun.
Chico: You know what else is fun?

Blackjack. On your iPhone! You like Catch 21? There's an app for that. GSN has released their Catch 21 app for iPhone and iPod Touch. Absolutely free at the App Store. And bonus, if you are a member of GSN.com... BigOShowtime, if you don't know.. you can collect oodles for every time you play.

Gordon: They still have those?
Chico: They still have those.
Gordon: Are they Oodlicious?
Chico: They're full of oodly goodness
Gordon: Yummy. Can I enjoy Haterade with them?
Chico: Yes you can.
Gordon: Excellent.

Our Little Genius. Napalmed right off FOX's schedule, despite FOX running a ton of ads for the show and nestling them right after American Idol. That's gotta hurt.

Chico: Yup. In their place: Human Target and The Simpsons #450. See, it's not all bad.
Gordon: No, but this is.

Are YOU Smarter than...the 3 people on Wheel of Fortune on Mondays episode who can't pronounce one of the premiere icons in the game show world.

Chico: This is better... SHOWN.
Gordon: Link me.

http://www.youtube.com/v/RvTYKVBekc8&hl=en_US&fs=1&

Gordon: Nice. but we're not done yet

Are YOU Smarter than...Kathy Griffin, who once again uses the F-Word on CNN's New Year's Eve Special. This time, according to sources, it's going to cost her next year's gig.

Chico: Too bad, so sad. Life goes on.
Gordon: It does. But without her on CNN. She may want to hit something with a bat at this point.
Chico: Yay bat! Today, we say goodbye. And... hello?
Gordon: Hello!

David Hasselhoff will not return to America's Got Talent this season.

Chico: He says he's concentrating on a new show that is launching soon. That line doesn't sell papers, so the Sun is going with, "Fired off his ass for drunken negligence" So which one are you going with?
Gordon: Unfortunately, I'm more likely to go with the latter, since 1. We haven't heard anything of any new show and 2. We do know he was recently sent back to the hospital.
Chico: Yup.
Gordon: Whatever the reason, I hope that David can get himself back together.
Chico: Agreed. And buried in the text is a name of a possible replacement... Howie Mandel.
Chico: That's an... interesting choice, to say the least.
Gordon: For that position, Howie wouldn't be a bad choice, You do need a crowd pleaser, a 'Paula' if you will, so I think he'd be ok there.
Chico: You think he'd be a good choice. I mean, he's definitely a player to the crowd. But I wonder what will happen when he has to buzz out an undesirable. I mean, you can only be cheery to a point. I can see him giggling and saying "Heh.. What was that?"
Gordon: I think he could do it. And based on what we know about Deal or No Deal, he's got time to fill.
Chico: That's also true.
Gordon: And we've got media hoes as well. You want to hear something from them?
Chico: Yes I do. But first... (plays "Pimpin' All Over the World") Or I could switch out to ride this running Tiger gag.. (plays "Bust Your Windows")
Gordon: What you got?
Chico: Just the intro. You may ho us, sir.
Gordon: Will do...

In this week's Media Ho Report, Jason Castro gets married, Orson Bean goes to Broadway, Melissa Rycroft changes her name to Melissa Strickland... I know Chico was all a twitter on that...

Chico: ChairmanChico. :-) Which I don't use much anymore

The cast lists of Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains and Celebrity Apprentice 3 are revealed, Donny Osmond launches a radio show, Heidi Klum goes through maternity wear, Bo Barker offers up 5 million to help Ante-Whalers...

Chico: Which went after Japanese whalers. So that was an intresting story. I mean, is Bob Barker now funnelling funds to eco-terrorists?
Gordon: Gives Danger Price a whole new meaning. But none of them are the ho of the week.
Chico: Who is?
Gordon: This week's ho is Carrie Underwood, and she's been busy. In addition to winning a People's Choice award for best female Country Artist, she's going to be on How I Met Your Mother as Ted's new love interest.
Chico: And... AND... she got engaged to a Senator.
Gordon: That's right, Mark Fisher of the Ottawa Senators.
Chico: So good on Carrie. I still get to keep her waxwork in NY, though.
Gordon: The waxwork is still yours...if you don't mind sharing it with a couple of million New Yorkers and tourists.
Chico: No, I don't mind. Heh.
Gordon: And those...Are your hoes.
Chico: Let's Go Global, shall we? Now Gordon... How would you feel about a new version of "The Crystal Maze"?
Gordon: I'd like to see it, sure.

How would you feel about a new version of "The Crystal Maze" hosted by Britain's Got Talent judge Amanda Holden?

Gordon: I'd watch/DVR/find online somewhere if I wasn't living in the UK.
Chico: I'm sure you could get it somewhere. And if the feds are reading, you better not even think about getting it somewhere. What are you crazy? (psst, I know a guy. heh)
Gordon: A man in Black?
Chico: Or something. Okay, that's Brainvision. I'll shut her down. When we return, we bring out the toilet for Pushie-Flushie part 2, but first, what do we have, G?
Gordon: Coming up next - it's never too late to improve yourself. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you 22 kids who don't need help to win a lot of money.

(Brainvision has been brought to you by FHGSM (For Horny Game Show Males). We have a picture spread of Mandy Lynn, though I bet most of you only want to read the article. Yeah, right.)

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