Episode 23.19 - Champions'
League: The Revenge
Chico: Hey, it's Chico.. you remember the last
time we called a Jeopardy! tournament, right? And, umm... we didn't do so well.
Gordon: Um...no. no we didn't.
Josh: (LOSING HORNS)
Chico: ... Not going to stop us from trying again. Because we're just gluttons
Josh: Well you know the old expression....If at first you don't succeed, try
again so you can fail miserably.
Chico: Of course.
Gordon: However, usually we do get it right.
Chico: And we'll go over that and more, as from somewhere in America...
Champions League Part 2: The Revenge of WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: Whoo-hoo! Gordon Pepper here, along with our special guest this week,
Josh: Greetings Gents. Glad to be back.
Chico: First off, before we get started, Josh has been a frequent guest since
joining the Net last year, and he wasn't with us for a while last month because
his grandmother passed. I just want to say, on behalf of all of us and all the
readers, that you have our sincerest condolences and best wishes to you and your
Josh: Thanks, everyone.
Chico: We hope you're ready for fun and games now... :-)
Josh: My grandmother gave me a love of games, so I am definitely.
Chico: Great job. Let's start with the BIG game... the game all other games
aspire to be.
Josh: Supermarket Sweep?
Chico: No, not that game. But the game all other games LITERALLY aspire to be...
This week, the Daytime Emmy Awards came out... and there were more than a few
Gordon: Very much so. And as we always do, let's handicap it. Big Board please?
The Show of Shows
- Are You Smarter
Than a 5th Grader?
- Cash Cab
- The Price Is Right
- Wheel of Fortune
Chico: We're going to run down the Big Two
categories: Outstanding Game Show and Outstanding Game Show Host. First up, the
Show of Shows... The nominees for Outstanding Game Show are...
- Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader (Fox, Syndication)
- Cash Cab (Discovery)
- Jeopardy! (Syndication)
- The Price Is Right (CBS)
- Wheel of Fortune (Syndication)
Chico: Five shows in a very crowded field. I can see where a few shows may have
slipped through the cracks, because again, a very crowded field, but... I agree
with this list.
Josh: I think though that this is truly representative of a lot of games today.
You have straight up quizzes, quiz-with-tasks, etc.
Chico: Cash Cab has a chance to three-peat, but it is going up against 5th
Grader for the first time. We don't know how it'll fare. Because CC is like the
Amazing Race of quiz shows when it comes to this sort of thing.
Gordon: I sort of agree with the list. I agree with 4 items on that list. I'm
wondering what 5th Grader is doing there and Millionaire isn't, but at the same
time, 5th Grader educates the masses while Millionaire, though solid, didn't
have a spectacular season.
Chico: Well, Millionaire of today is not the Millionaire of five years ago.
Josh: Question: Is this the first nod for TPiR since Drew took over?
Chico: It is not, Josh.
Chico: But it is the first for Mike Richards, who EPed in some capacity over the
year. I don't think it's that strong of a favorite, simply because Syd Vinnedge...
I don't think he ever got it. Mike Richards, he gets it. This season was the
best since Drew took the reigns.
Gordon: The Emmy nod is well-deserved. TPIR has been vastly improving. This is
easily the best season of the show in the Drew Carey era. Now just get us better
Josh: I agree. Better contestants for better Emmy nomination consideration
Chico: There you go. But if you could choose one show that has what it takes to
win the award this year... Which would it be and why?
Josh: I'll say Cash Cab will take the three-peat. It's a great concept, It's got
questions that aren't automatic gimmies (Neither does J!), and I think they've
got a great contestant pool (All of New York and it's endless supply of
Gordon: I'm going to say Jeopardy, based on last years Tournament of Champions,
gets the nod and dethrones Cash Cab. Not to mention this year's Celebrity
Million Dollar Tournament and April Fool's Special.
Chico: I think Jeopardy!, being as decorated as it is, and correct me if I'm
wrong, the most decorated game show in history, had an EPIC tournament of
champions in 2009. The million dollar games elevated the field for the show.
Chico: But when you get right down to it, they've been doing the same thing in
and out for 26 years.
Josh: Hey, why change the formula? It's been successful.
Chico: Not faulting the formula. Not in the slightest. On the other hand, Cash
Cab, very exuberant, very dynamic, and still playing by numbers. I think Ben
drives off with another hood ornament.
Gordon: But they've had a great season this year and they should be rewarded for
Josh: Wouldn't it be funny to see his van filled with the Emmys? It would truly
give it away, but it would be a great promo idea for Discovery.
Chico: Jeopardy! had a great season, and you could say that it's absolutely the
most perfect game show ever devised, my personal tastes notwithstanding :-) but
in the end, Cash Cab did more with less.
Josh: I can imagine their budget sheet. Let's see: We don't have to pay for a
big set, or buzzer podiums, but we do have to pay for gas.
Gordon: The Emmys shouldn't be based on budget. It should be based on
Chico: So Josh and I are going with Cash Cab. Gordon's going with Jeopardy!. I
can see where this is a two-man race.
Gordon: Are we assuming that none of the other 3 shows have a shot?
Chico: Wheel has a legitimate shot. 5th Grader has a legitimate shot. TPIR...
Josh: All the shows are in with a shout, but Cash Cab to me has the biggest
Chico: Let's see what the Emmy voters think when Syd Vicious is out of the
picture... Heh. I make funnies.
Gordon: That was vicious.
Chico: Waa waaaa. Okay, speaking of vicious, here's the roll for the King or
Queen of Games. That's right, a female is up for Outstanding Game Show Host, but
it is NOT Meredith Vieira. I blame the clock, but that's another story...
The King (or Queen) of Games
- Ben Bailey
- Wayne Brady
- Pat Sajak
- Alex Trebek
- Carnie Wilson?!
Chico: Again, The King (or Queen) of Games...
- Ben Bailey, "Cash Cab"
- Wayne Brady, "Let's Make A Deal"
- Pat Sajak, "Wheel Of Fortune"
- Alex Trebek, "Jeopardy!"
- Carnie Wilson, "The Newlywed Game"
Josh: Cmon, that last one has to be a gag.
Chico: I had to look twice after that last one. But sure enough, there it is.
Josh: REALLY? Carnie Wilson?
Chico: I mean... two years ago...
Chico: Two years ago, if I were to say, "In 2010, Carnie Wilson, a singer and
daughter of a Beach Boy... Perhaps Gordon's FAVORITE... whose game show hosting
ability amounts to ZERO... was going to host 'The Newlywed Game'... an original
for the Game Show Network... AND be nominated for an Emmy for doing so...."
YOU'D HAVE ME COMMITTED.
Josh: Two years ago, if you said Carnie Wilson, you'd say "Stomach Staples" or
something involving her health. I think it may have something to do with
Meredith's frequent Guest Hosts when she is away on assignment or something.
Gordon: I'm very torn here.
Gordon: The bad, which is obvious: No Meredith Vieira? Really? How is she not on
this list and Wilson is? I can justify Brady, who was ridiculously good on Let's
Make a Deal, but Carnie? Really?
Josh: Well, having watched 3 seasons of Newlywed with Carnie, I can say that she
is warm, welcoming, and she is able to loosen those tongues.
Gordon: HOWEVER, there's a VERY good upside here: This is the first major
nomination for GSN, and maybe this is a clue to them to keep making traditional
studio game shows.
Josh: And maybe pick up more traditional formats. Who wants to see Tic-Tac-Dough?
Gordon: Not me, I want to see Classic Concentration.
Chico: ME! Heh. Let's get one thing clear... all five noms are very well
Gordon: Says you.
Chico: But Carnie Wilson? That just came out of NOWHERE!
Gordon: Says me.
Josh: Carnie's not as good as Bob Eubanks, BUT She is good and making the format
Gordon: I'm not saying Carnie isn't good. She is good. But you can't tell me she
deserves a nomination over Vieira.
Chico: Vieira's good. You can't fault her for anything. But she is admittedly
not as good as years past. And she's apparently warm and likeable as Meredith
without having to bend to that stubborn clock. That clock is the death of the
franchise, I swear to god.
Josh: That was the one major difference between Millionaire and other games. You
actually take all the time you needed to think!
Gordon: Oh I completely disagree here. You can't blame her for the change in
Josh: Meredith is still a great host.
Chico: You didn't pick up the whole "Hurry up I've got a bus to catch" vibe?
Josh: I just think the field is crowded with good hosts.
Chico: I have to agree. I mean, how many times have we not seen John O'Hurley's
name up there? Just as an example.
Gordon: You have to take the 5 BEST. If Meredith on a bad day is miles better
than Carrie on a good day (which she is), then Meredith needs to get the nod.
Chico: Apparently the Emmy voters saw something that we don't.
Gordon: Let's say you have Shania Twain and Sanjaya Malakar in a concert.
Malakar happens to hit the notes one day and Twain has a scratchy voice. You
don't give Malakar the artist of the year over Twain based on one performance
when you have a year's worth of performances to go through.
Chico: We're not talking winners yet.
Gordon: Neither of you can tell me with a straight face that Carnie Wilson is a
better host than Meredith Vieira.
Chico: I think you're putting the cart before the horse.
Josh: I still say that it may have something to do with Meredith having to rely
on guest hosts more frequently.
Gordon: No she didn't. She has the same number of hosts. Last year, we had Tim
Vincent and Al Roker and Cat Deeley.
Josh: It just seems more frequent than in the past.
Chico: Nope. Same as before. And the year before that. Okay before we veer off
to parts unknown, who's going to take Emmy home?
Gordon: It's Trebek's to lose. Alex Trebek.
Josh: I'll give it to Wayne Brady. He has made LMAD Appointment Daytime Viewing.
Maybe this will convince him to stick around and host the show longer. He said
it himself that he's an actor first and doesn't want to be known as a full-time
game show host.
Gordon: Be careful what you wish for, Wayne.
Chico: I think Wayne does need to just accept that he's a game show host as good
as he's an entertainer. I think he's a great asset to an already great
franchise... I don't think he wins, though. I think Alex Trebek, who's been a
workhorse and a perennial favorite now that Bob Barker is out of the running,
gets it. And now the second big question... Is this nomination going to end up
as a PR coup for GSN?
Josh: I think it should! GSN would be a buncha true idiots if they don't MENTION
Chico: I mean, it's been half of a week, and I haven't seen hair nor hide of it
on the network. I mean, they have to be run by a bunch of kooks and quacks to
make light of it. Even Discovery mentioned Ben Bailey and Cash Cab when they
Josh: Bravo mentions it every time they have an Emmy nod for ANY of their shows.
Gordon: They better be announcing it with every single advertisement insert and
Chico: They need to get that word out. Make things happen. Instead of...you
know, the usual GSN course.
Josh: But when have we known GSN to do the right thing?
Chico: Now GSN has done some good things... off the top of my head I can't think
of any, but they've done some good things...
Josh: Taking away the Black and White overnights was bad enough. And their late
night Way-back Play-Back is a piss poor substitute.
Chico: But a possible PR coup for GSN? I certainly hope so! Come on, guys. I
know you have it in you.
Josh: I'll believe it when I see it.
Gordon: We'll be inducting one of these people into immortality in the future.
Right now, let's induct 2 people in the present - and 2 people that me and Chico
called before the season started.
Chico: Ladies and gentlemen... the winners... and new champions of Amazing
Race... the ones that have been watching and STUDYING the show! DAN & JORDAN
PIOUS, get your MVP.
Josh: YAY! *waves a banner*
Chico: They played this game to the hilt. They studied everything. They took
notes. This last leg was a cakewalk.
Josh: They knew that the last leg was going to be a long and winding road,
pardon the Beatles reference.
Chico: And it helped that they just blew past a task which amounted to a
high-stakes version of "Masters of the Maze". The three S's in action. Strength,
smarts, and speed.
Gordon: Sure did. Chico and I called them to win the whole thing, Josh called
Brandy and Carol, who did do well for themselves.
Josh: *shrug* I thought my longshot did pretty well.
Chico: Oh they did pretty well. Just not at racing. :-)
Gordon: What really won the race for them was 1 move - to get them moved up to
Business Class. That put them to the front of the plane and gave them an
advantage that neither the cowboys nor the MegaBrains of Brent and Caite could
Josh: That's certainly true.
Chico: We should note that it was a move on the part of the airline and not on
the brothers or production. Because if you fly frequently, you know that sort of
Josh: The airline could've said, "Are you kidding me?"
Chico: Coach is oversold, you gotta bump someone to first class. It's like the
"karma" move from the Romber Race. This sort of thing just happens. But yeah,
great luck on the brothers' side.
Gordon: Any shot the cowboys had was lost when they didn't realize he had to
spin around like Dan did at the end of the video game challenge.
Chico: Dan and Jordan also blazed through the "remember who was Philiminated
first" task. They SAW that coming.
Josh: They did. It's been a team-killer for several seasons.
Gordon: They watched the show for 15 seasons and knew it was going to be there
and they blew through it.
Josh: I just thought it was cool that they got to go to one of Lucasfilm's
properties. Sorry, big Star Wars Geek as well as a Game Show Geek.
Chico: So you were just taking it all in, then.
Josh: Ooooh yah. :-)
Chico: But what really made the episode was what happened AFTER JorDan crossed
the finish line. I'll let the purveyor of wrong take over on that note.
Gordon: We'll get to that later.
Gordon: But yes the purveyor of wrong will get there. Right now, the purveyor of
wrong needs to jettison an admitted shoe-stealer.
Chico: Rupert the Pirate walks the plank?
Gordon: He gets hit timbers shivered.
Josh: Arrrrr there went me pick.
Gordon: Into Davey Jones Locker ye go.
Chico: Insert Pirate reference here.
Josh: I mean, Rupert is consistently a fan favorite. He won the fan vote for a
Chico: He would've gone onto the final five, BUT two things happened. 1) He
stirred up a racket, a ruckus, if you will, while the ladies were trying to
sleep.... and B)... Hurricane Parvati made landfall at the Immunity Challenge.
Josh: A Rupert Ruckus.
Gordon: Well, seriously, no. Rupert had no chance to get to the final 5. Russell
was not going to switch sides at all.
Josh: Russell is showing everyone how to play this game.
Chico: Well, he was... but he wasn't.
Josh: Everyone at home, not the others.
Chico: I mean, Russell wasn't going to go to Tribal and vote anyone else out...
except when we had another pre-Tribal blowout, Rupert switched to Sandra. That
proved to be of ill consequence when a) she only had two votes, and 2) she
played the Hidden Idol.
Gordon: Which makes Colby dead hero walking.
Gordon: So it's time to do some more prognosticating. Big Board please?
Who Wins If: Heroes vs. Villains
- Russell & Parvati
- No chance
- Colby - Won't get the chance
- Jerri - CAN'T get the chance
- Sandra - Biggest chance
Josh: I'm getting dizzy.
Chico: So let's look at the Final Five.
Gordon: Once again, it's time to do 'Who Wins If....'
Chico: Let's get this first one out of the way... Russell gets to the final
Tribal... whoever took him there will win. Parvati gets to the final Tribal...
Gordon: Agreed. Russell has no shot to win. Neither does Parvati unless there's
a final of 2 and she's against Russell.
Josh: I disagree. Russell has nothing to lose. He's been there before. He might
change his stratagem.
Chico: But you're not going to convince five heroes, or five people period, to
vote for him, not the way he's playing. That leaves Colby, Sandra, and Jerri.
Jerri is a serious threat to win. So much so that I'll say if she makes it to
the final vote, the Million dollars is hers.
Gordon: Actually I think if Colby gets there, he wins. But Colby won't get
there. Sandra is the most likely to get there, and I think she will win.
Josh: I'd like to play a double longshot.
Chico: ... I'll allow it.
Josh: It depends on who gets there, but I'll call Colby and Russell to the final
two. After that, who knows?
Gordon: Not a chance.
Josh: Why do you think I call it a longshot?
Chico: Unless Colby has a run on Immunity, which is not likely by anyone...
Gordon: I'll say Sandra, Parvati and Russell are your Final 3, and Sandra wins.
Chico: I'm going to go with Jerri.
Josh: Gosh do I have to pick a winner?
Chico: Yes you do.
Gordon: Yes you do.
Josh: As much as I hate the guy....Russell. My heart says Colby but my head is
saying Russell. I'll go with my head.
Chico: And my head says your head's nuts.
Josh: We'll see what happens in the final. To me the final's ALWAYS
Chico: That's what we say about Jeopardy!. Okay, guys...a re you ready to try
Josh: Hit me! *ducks*
Okay, Let's Try This Again
- Monday: Terry...
- Tuesday: Nick... or Jason...
- Wednesday: Pick'em
- Overall: Wednesday's Winner
Chico: This is called "Okay, Let's Try This Again..."
Josh: So many big boards...
Chico: This is the last one, I promise.
Josh: I feel like a tourist looking up at all these big boards.
Chico: No, just a highway driver.
MONDAY: Terry Linwood, Stefan Goodreau, Dave Belote
Chico: Terry won his game hands down. The other two were wild cards. I think
Terry's going to lock it up and throw away the key. I'm going with the favorite
and I'm taking the points.
Josh: He backs the favorite...You always back the favorite.
Chico: I do.
Josh: Have you no love for the longshot?
Chico: Present your longshot and we'll see.
Josh: I actually don't have a longshot for Jeopardy. It's too mighty to predict
Chico: I'll give Stefan kudos for keeping it close on Friday. But that's all I'm
Gordon: I'll say Terry also.
Josh: Make it a three-way play.
Chico: Okay, next is...
TUESDAY: Jason Zollinger, Liz Murphy, Nick Yozamp.
Chico: Liz Murphy locked away game 1 in a walk. I have a feeling that
history will repeat itself.... but not in THAT way. Nick won the college
tourney. He'll get to the finals with that same bloodthirsty play
Josh: Have college winners done well in the ToC before?
Chico: Oh yeah.
Josh: Then I'll take Nick.
Gordon: I'll say Jason.
Chico: So two Nicks and a Jason. Interestingly enough, no one is going for Liz,
the lady who locked game 1. I just like to point these things out. WEDNESDAY...
WEDNESDAY: Vijay Balse / Justin Bernbach / Andy Srinivasan
Chico: Three big winners... This may be the match of the week.
Josh: I hate to quote Dan Rather, but "Too close to call"
Gordon: I'll say Vijay.
Chico: I'm going to go with Andy. I mean, he seems cool and deadly on the
trigger. You need to be that in semi play.
Gordon: I think the person who gets out of Wednesday will win it - hence I'm
going with Vijay
Josh: I'm not even going to call it.
Chico: But the final is going to decide it. Watch. I'll just say this... If Andy
wins... ABC11 in Raleigh is going to eat the story for breakfast, lunch, AND
Josh: You betcha.
Chico: And I'll hear about "Hey Chico... That should be you up there."
Josh: Have they ever called you back?
Josh: Don't worry, they didn't call me either.
Chico: I'm going to say Wednesday winner as well.
Josh: I'll say our College Champion. So sayeth the patron saint of longshots.
Chico: And just to screw your sheets up further, I'll throw in Terry as a
Gordon: (Note to self. Don't select who Chico selects to win Jeopardy!).
Chico: Who do you take me for, sir? =p
Josh: The TWO of ya! Do I have to referee a boxing match betwixt the two of ya?
Chico: Oh, this is love. Let's do some singing.
Josh: *covers his ears*
Gordon: Yes. Just like all the love Michael Lynche got on Wednesday....wait a
Chico: Yeah, he got love... We'd love to see you leave. Love! It was Movie Week
on Idol. Instead of Avatar, though... we got Leonard Part 6.
Gordon: and Ishtar
Josh: And Xanadu
Gordon: and Heaven's Gate
Josh: And The Flintstones
Chico: And Santa with Muscles. All in a movie marathon. With ONE lone bright
spot... Crystal and Lee's "Falling Slowly".
Josh: One Casablanca in that mix?
Gordon: Which I would have preferred to watch than this. We have all of the
problems here as we have had the whole season. Bad song selection, etc.
Chico: I'd say it was one "Peter Jackson's King Kong". Good but not as good as
the original. And that honestly, the bad song selection? That's what did Michael
Gordon: Crystal said something interesting. They said they only had a pool of 10
songs to choose from.
Chico: Are you joking me? 10 songs? I'd be like "If 'Nothing's Gonna Stop Us
Now' isn't on the list, I'm going to have a talk with somebody."
Gordon: Now if that's the case, then I can't blame the singers. I blame the
Chico: Yeah, we've done that already. Can't see why we can't do it again,
though. Lazy producing.
Gordon: If you're in the 9th season, you need the playlist expanded, not
Chico: We're just going to keep this charade up long enough to get to the final
and reap the Fox moneys. It's not about the songs anymore. It's about the show.
And therein lies the rub.
Josh: You two go at it. I haven't watched...all I've heard is it is sounding
like the Russian secret police. O.G.P.U!
Chico: That would be an accurate assessment.
Gordon: Pretty much.
Chico: Actually... there's no metaphor to even say it. It's been a crappy
season. And they're talking all this nonsense about how great everyone is, but
they KNOW it's a crappy season.
Gordon: It has been. We don't need to go over why. We've done it 18,069 times.
Josh: Actually 18,070, counting my jab
Chico: Ba dum bum.
Gordon: Let's get to a better musical singer, like Kevin Jonas.
Josh: His appearance on Minute to Win it has been HEAVILY HYPED
Chico: No kidding.
Josh: and he's doing one of the toughest challenges in the show.
Chico: I mean, if you didn't know about Kevin Jonas on Minute to Win It, you
didn't WANT to know. But he was VERY SERIOUS about doing the show, and it showed
as he played. All the way to $250,000.
Chico: Now something you should know about this episode... whatever he wins, he
keeps. There's absolutely no risk involved. Because it's for charity.
Josh: Well it was a charity run. How do you feel about refusing a payment to
Chico: Kinda like a schlub.
Chico: Yeah, I'm going to risk $50,000 for charity. Far be it for me to put the
game aside for those reasons, but... That. Doesn't. Happen. Let's go through the
Josh: All these blueprints....
Chico: Nervous Nelly for $1000.... Gotten with what I like to call the "Infamous
Power Pad" move. If you ever had an NES with the floor mat, the Power Pad... you
know what I'm talking about.
Chico: You ever play World Class Track Meet?
Chico: That's what I'm talking about. He needed to total up 500 pedometer clicks
on his arms and legs. he did so.
Josh: I actually call that the Flashdance challenge. Cause you look like the
dance to the song "Maniac"
Chico: Good one. Next was Nose Dive for $2500... That was easy. Third was Junk
in the Trunk... then Egg Roll, then Nutstacker. Kevin lost that the first shot.
He passed with ONE second remaining on the second. So two lives going into the
$75,000 game: Ka-Broom. You needed to use a broom to knock a marshmallow into a
Josh: Sounds easy enough.....
Chico: Was. Then Matchmaker, which was like the card game from early in the run,
only with M&Ms. Then came the $250,000 challenge, the one that I was like
"WHOA." ... Keep the change.
Chico: What happens is that you have a cup, a stack of five quarters, and a
dollar. So it's cup, then dollar, then quarter. You had to snatch the dollar
from the setup so that the quarters remained on the lip of the cup. Needed to do
Chico: Kevin did it twice... and then did it again. Just to show off. It was
like "snatch".... then stare... then "snatch" again... then stare as everyone
cheers... then "snatch". Yeah, just keep the dollars, those are yours now.
Chico: Now for the $500,000 game: Don't Blow the Joker.
Josh: I think that this is the TOUGHEST game they have.
Chico: There's a story behind that game. This was the game that got Kevin hooked
on the show, because if you remember, the first time they did it, she completely
missed it. So Kevin needs to just do this once. He had the technique down, but
he too blew the joker. And... insert joke here.
Gordon: That's scandalous!
Chico: Thank you, Gordon.
Gordon: Any time :)
Josh: Goof on a Half-a-million charity run? No way.
Chico: That's what happened. He blew the joker. If this was any other game, he'd
be out $200,000. But since it's for the kids and the Change for the Children...
That's what happens.
Josh: That's darn nice
Gordon: So the Hamsters created a new challenge for Minute to Win it.
Josh: Ooh what do they have?
Gordon: You have a minute to clean out the cages using only a soup spoon.
Josh: There's gotta be a catch....
Chico: Cages with a soup spoon. That alone is a catch.
Josh: Gotta remember, I never had a hamster.
Gordon: You need one.
Chico: Hamsters are cool.
Josh: Tell it to my landlord.
Chico: Ain't that right, hams... *happy squeaks, followed by the smell of...*
Josh: OH NO. Break out the fabreeze
Chico: Gordon, throw it to news, I need a wet-nap.
Gordon: Roll that beautiful Brain Footage.
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your
frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico
Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Josh: Leave it to Doug to get us out of a messy situation. Good Job!
Chico: ... you're all in deep trouble, mister. Let's start with the calendar
week - more sweeps, all the time, as we get the semi-finals of American Idol and
Dancing With the Stars and the end of Deal or No Deal. We also have a very
special Newlywed Game with game show legends on Tuesday.
Josh: I think Dancing With The Stars may win sweeps week with the lower quality
of AI this time around.
Chico: I think DWTS may win the whole season.
Josh: I'm looking forward to the Special Newlywed Game. Their specials have been
VERY good. Just a pity that they felt Bob Eubanks needed to return.
Gordon: I'm looking forward to that too. Chico is looking forward to this
(presents the bat)
Chico: Thank you, sir. Gordon, do you miss Fear Factor?
Gordon: I do. I need it :(
I hope you have Chiller, because that's where the reruns are headed in July.
Gordon: I do have Chiller. Yay!
Chico: Does that make Gordon happy?
Gordon: Why yes. yes it does :D
Josh: It's still a popular property. I mean if you have an attraction still at
Universal Studios, it is still pretty good in the public's mind.
Chico: I liked it. You liked it.
Josh: I did too. Not at first but yah.
Chico: We're all sick like that, but...
Gordon: I'm sick like that :D
Josh: I mean the Rat coffin challenge on their first show kinda....well...
Chico: Okay, and there's. ONE! MORE! THING!
Burnett is developing a daily singing competition called "One In A Million".
What happens is that the whole season is a tournament.
Chico: Monday through Thursday winners go on to Friday. Friday winners go on to
the end of the season, and in the end, someone wins a million bucks. It's being
shopped for Fall '11.
Josh: This is going to be in daytime, right?
Gordon: Right, but I'm not happy about this one.
Josh: I'm not happy either.
Chico: I don't imagine you would be. It's basically taking something like AI and
turning it into something like DOND, where we're all about contestants you can
package, singing ability be damned.
Gordon: I'm even less happy when they say the objective is not to find the best
star, but the best stories. This, according to their press release.
Josh: You know my hatred for American Idol....This is gonna be worse.
Josh: Sorry Mark....This is one project you should.... (Monty Python) RUN AWAY!
RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! (/Monty Python)
Gordon: Yeah. That's got killer rabbit potential to it.
Chico: I hate rabbits. =p
Gordon: Now remember last week, when I gave advice that if you were a 51 year
old man, you don't want to be going after a 16 year old girl?
Chico: Yes, I do remember you saying that.
Gordon: Well, if you're 29 and you have the chance to go after a 15 year old
Chico: Oh boy,
Josh: Uh oh...I smell Haterade coming
Chico: Even worse, Josh.
Josh: No...Not the Zombies.... NOT THE ZOMBIES....
Chico: ... no, that's next week.
Gordon: Oh no, we have Zombies this week, too.
Chico: Just not as many as next week.
Josh: ...whew... What is it?
YOU Smarter Than...Eppie DeLeon (Season 5 of America's Best Dance Crew), who was
charged with sexual exploitation of a minor.
Chico: Needless to say... that's bad.
Josh: That's worse than bad. Oh gosh... That just turns my stomach.
Chico: Folks... if a woman says she's 20... and looks 16... she's 12.
Josh: If he goes to prison, he's going to be in BIG trouble. Can we get the bad
taste of that out of our mouths?
Chico: Yes please.
Josh: I'll even take a zombie at this moment.
Gordon: Sure! I'll give you one.
Josh: DAAAH! *looks for someone to hide behind....seeing no one he trusts he
jumps behind the couch*
Gordon: You don't trust me?
Chico: Guess not.
Wicked, the fashion show with Caridee English, is, according to the Futon
Critic, pretty extinct.
Chico: The year rule?
Josh: You brought on the zombie, didn't you?
Gordon: Well here then, have another one.
Josh: *shudders and ducks back down*
Brent and Caite were in a relationship when The Amazing Race began. They are
no longer in one, claiming distance as the cause and not the fact that they
looked like morons for 13 hours on the TV sets of millions of Americans.
Chico: It gets better. Gordon, show him better. :-)
Gordon: Here's better: The catfight between Caite and the lesbians, who are
still sore at her U-Turning them, to end the season.
Josh: Oh no...Was this the spat at the finish line carpet?
Chico: Yes it was.
Chico: Carol with the singular sympathy clap. And Brandy... Brandy just stood
Josh: See if I was the producer (Bruckheimer) I would've edited them out
somehow. This is supposed to be a happy occasion.
Chico: It really is, but at the same time, this is a travelogue of all the human
suffering that stranded Americans go through in their travails about the world.
.... Why should this moment be an exception?
Josh: Cause it's a GAME! I don't agree with what the two divas did. That's
p$%!-poor sportsmanship on their part.
Chico: I just thought... Sour grapes for you... and for you.
Josh: *sigh* Again, show some good sportsmanship. Not the "token golf clap". Or
just showing up.
Chico: Has Caite and/or the lesbians shown any semblance of sportsmanship this
whole race? I don't think so!
Gordon: Well, when you get sabotaged out of the game, you're going to be a
Chico: Just a little. Maybe she can get a little loaded afterwards.
Josh: HIC! oop scuse me
Chico: That'll take the edge off, right?
Gordon: Sure will.
power of Facebook compels thee. Wayne Brady posts the story on his wall that
Let's Make a Deal is... wait for it... RENEWED.
Gordon: Whoo hoo!
Josh: One of the coolest cats hosts the coolest costume party.
Chico: And we're all invited. No details yet, but I'm hoping that all who are
involved return in the fall.
Josh: And I hope it tapes in Las Vegas. They've tapped a really crazy crowd.
Gordon: It would be nice. We'll see if it happens.
Chico: If it does, we're going on a road trip.
Josh: What do I need to pack?
Chico: So if you see "The Doctor" and "The Master" in the crowd... you know the
road trip happened.
Josh: We're going to Great Britain?
Chico: Not yet. And not this week.
Josh: Oh bah.
Chico: First, let's go casting.
Gordon: (Grabs a fishing reel)
Josh: Couch fishing, are we?
Gordon: We're fishing for casting opportunities. Did we reel anything in?
Chico: yes we did
Josh: Hm....I got a tire...
to go for a Downfall? Check the advertisement here: www.downfallcasting.com. You
may want to get in on this quickly because the deadline is May 21.
Josh: Win your prizes or see them thrown off a skyscraper.
Chico: ... pretty much. That to launch this summer. So again.. Quick. Like
Chico: Any more casting?
Josh: *throws the line out again*
Gordon: I don't have any.
Chico: But you do have...
Gordon: But I do have hoes.
Josh: I got a tin can....Sorry. **Plays Pimpin All Over Da World**
Chico: Thanks, Josh.
Josh: It's my favorite segment on the show.
this week's Hodometer, the 3 judges from So You Think You Can Dance will be
back, Wayne Brady is thinking about leaving Let's Make a Deal already (which
begs the question of why he joined in the first place), Erin Andrews never got
the apology Elizabeth Hasselbeck claimed she gave...
Josh: C'mon Wayne. You found a good niche there. Someone Pass Those two girls a
jug of Haterade. APIECE.
Josh: I smell a catfight betwixt those two.
Iman replaces Kelly Rowland on The Fashion Show, Jen Schefft is with child,
Adam Jasinsky's lawyer is asking the taxpayers to pick up Adam's rehab tab
(which the judge already denied)...
Josh: Iman's presence will give the Fashion show more cred, even though it is a
Project: Runway Knockoff. Congrats Jen!
Elton John turns down a 33 million dollar offer to be the next American Idol
judge, Betty White may be going Dancing With the Stars and Regis Philbin has
surgery to get rid of a blood clot.
Chico: Well wishes.
Josh: Well wishes to Reeg. Betty, you saw what it did to Cloris Leachman
Gordon: But none of them are the Ho of the Week.
Josh: Whoooooooooooooooooo is it?
Gordon: Remember Dr. Will Kirby from Big Brother? Remember Erin Brodie from For
Love or Money?
Chico: The other Dr. 90210... Yes and yes.
Josh: I remember Dr. Will. Erin Brody....Notsomuch
Gordon: They have a baby ho coming out of the oven. His name? Cash. Appropriate.
Josh: HAH! Very Apropos! Congratulations nonetheless.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: I could make a joke about going under, but we're just going to go to
Josh: G'day mate. No Worries.
Chico: And Gordon's favorite "S" word... 11 letters... definition: SUSPECT
Josh: I have no clue. Shenanigans?
Gordon: Yay, Shenanigans!
Gordon: My second favorite word is Schadenfreude, but that's 13 letters.
Josh: I'm confused....What is Shenanigans?
Chico: MasterChef Australia, apparently.
Josh: Oh boy.....
Australia has admitted to replating dishes after cameras stopped rolling and the
time clock stopped. The suspect dish, one caramel parfait glace that was broken
and cracked when finished, but when presented to the judges... was "flawless".
Josh: Well, don't they replate on IC America?
Chico: They plate finished dishes, but they do not "replate".
Josh: Ok. That I understand.
Chico: The producer's side of the tale...
"TV trickery is sometimes used in the series and the dishes are sometimes
replaced, but it is rare and only used mainly when contestants have dishes that
had ice cream, sorbets, and sauces that deteriorate under studio lighting."
Chico: To quote a game... are you buying what they're selling?
Josh: *hits his X button* Nope.
Gordon: We don't seem to have this problem on Top Chef (X)
Josh: Or IC America.
Chico: Or heaven forbid, even Chopped. If it's on the plate, bones and all, it's
going to the judges. There was even a time or two when they were served plates
Josh: Would rather serve an empty plate than the mess.
Chico: Or didn't have a choice.
Gordon: When I was at a food network TV taping, they had ice cream soup. They
didn't get a chance to replate it.
Chico: Awww. How was the ice cream soup?
Gordon: Good actually.
Josh: And what taping was this, Gordon?
Gordon: I can't say :)
Chico: We'll pub it during the break, because... Brainvision is OVER.
Josh: Ok, Shutting it down.
Chico: Good job.
Josh: *flicks the switch*
Chico: Still to come, we don't make the news.. we make the news funny, but
Gordon: First up, we pull out the Playbills. You're reading WLTI, you give us 22
minutes, and we'll give you 22 nominees that would be a good host for the Emmys.
Josh: I'll take that job.
Chico: From my cold dead hands, you'll take that job. :-)
(BrainVision has been brought to you by Top Oilriggers. The first team to
stop the oil from leaking into the Gulf of Mexico will win one million dollars.
Did you guys have Brent and Caite working up there or what?)
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