Episode 23.9 - Instant Reversal of Fortune
March 8

Chico: Hey, gang, I'm Chico Alexander, and I would be in need of a marriage ref. First, though, I'm in need of a marriage. Ladies? =p
Gordon: I hear Jamie Stubbs is still out on the market.
Chico: Nah, she's yours. She likes you. I know for a fact.
Gordon: Well, I do have a nice big fat putter with nice swing action.
Chico: But enough about Improv Mini-Golf.
Gordon: Nothing mini about my golf game. :)
Chico: We're talking marriage this week, and we're talking madness. Not necessarily of the March kind, but we'll throw that in there as well, as from somewhere in Wink's closet, the Instant Reversal of Fortune edition of WLTI... is... ON! I'm here as always with my associate, bro, and hetero life mate Gordon Pepper.
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: I'm here as always with my associate, bro, and hetero life mate Gordon Pepper.
Gordon: And we start with a semi-anticipated event here; the return of Wink Martindale to our TV sets.
Chico: Ah, Instant Recall. GSN's latest hidden camera tour de farce. Also Wink Martindale's 20th game show! It's good to know he's still got a little bit of spark left in the engine. Even if the car has a few carburetor problems. I wanted to like it. I REALLY REALLY did. It's basically a combination of Candid Camera and Joe Garagiola's Memory Game. Or Hit Man. Or something. And it was co-created by Richard Dawson's kid. And it was hosted by Wink Martindale. You would think that with that big of a pedigree... it would be an event... it would be something special.
Gordon: You did have the elements. And there was stuff to like. Let's start with the Good: The Winker. He can still host a show and do a slam-bang job of it.
Chico: Oh yeah. Wink's beyond solid. Let's face it. Bob Barker's retired. Bill Cullen is dead. Wink is the standard bearer for the old school. And he has no problem bringing the old school sexy back. Another bit of good... the bits before the game are watchable... I mean, they're your standard here's-your-mark fare.
Gordon: But it was good. I did like the premise on paper. The thought of putting someone through a weird scene and then testing them on it later is a good concept.
Chico: It's a very good concept.
Gordon: The bits themselves didn't do anything for me, but it wasn't as bad as your favorite show, Hidden Agenda.
Chico: I'm trying to forget about that. The thing that bugged me the most, though: the execution. The bits were longer than they needed to be. The game was SHORTER than it needed to be, almost to the point of afterthought...
Gordon: Let's get to The Bad. #1. The execution.
Chico: The whole "mobile game show unit" has been done before and better with Opportunity Knocks. I mean, this as it is just wreaks of either college TV or public access production.
Gordon: I completely agree on the too much skit, not enough game aspect. We're sitting through 2 skits of 22 minutes and get...5 questions? That's it?
Chico: That's it. And the popup video bits... they worked on Blind Date and Pop-Up Video, but not so much here. They don't add anything. It's just MST3K given chyron form.
Gordon: Every single question was a visual also, no variety.
Chico: And you know what I think about this sort of thing... You're going to do it, make sure it ENHANCES the package.
Gordon: I didn't mind the pop-up as much, but if you wanted to fill, give Wink something to do and have him talk more as a bubblehead instead of an animated bobble-head.
Chico: Right. Again, it doesn't add much.
Gordon: The show also has something going against it, which has nothing to do with it's existence as much as it has to do with it's predecessor.
Chico: Not to mention its time-slot occupant.
Gordon: There was also a hidden camera show which bombed out last week called....wait for it...HIDDEN AGENDA!
Chico: Unlike its predecessor, though... it's not beyond saving.
Gordon: But the problem is that the hidden camera show blew chunks. If I'm an audience and I see advertisements for ANOTHER hidden camera show, I'm probably not showing up to sample it. And in that aspect, I would have loved to have seen Wink host something more traditional.
Chico: I think everyone would've. I got a few boards. Can we make a big one out of them?
Gordon: Let's.

Chico: I'm calling this one "Instant Replay". First up... the 20 minutes of sit, 2 minutes of game. I'm thinking more 50/50. Cut out all the filler. Get to the point, make it funny. As for the game, let's see more questions. Let's see a variety.
Gordon: And let's see more contestants. 3 of them playing against each other in a more quick paced setting would be fun. Hitman-ish? Yes, but Hitman was a fun game that would work here.
Chico: YES. Dude. BRAIN STORM. This is the kind of show that would work better, honestly, as an hour, or rather, ONE mark, ONE skit, ONE game.
Gordon: I don't think you can do one skit. 30 minutes is a lot oft time to ask a play-along audience to remember things.
Chico: You know how Law & Order was half the arrest and half the trial?
Gordon: Right.
Chico: How about you do it like that? One half of the show... or a third... a third to a half... make it the three players as the marks in the hidden camera bit. Then truck them to a studio to play the game. That would be absolutely awesome.
Gordon: Moving them to a real studio would be fun, but again, I don't know how much they would actually remember. I think how they have it is fine,. They just need less spectacle and more game.

	INSTANT RECALL - GSN
	CHICO	GORDON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	D+	C	C-

Chico: That's the big problem that they have, and yes, it's a big one. Keeps me from giving it a better grade. As it is right now... It's a D+
Gordon: This seems fine as a half hour game. It needs to be tweaked out and improved upon. Points for the concept. Now blend and enhance it. C.
Chico: Good job. Did you think the same way about The Marriage Ref?
Gordon: Oh no.
Chico: Oh yes! All the time and energy you gave Jerry Seinfeld over the 90s, and he repays you with THIS!
Gordon: I feel very differently on the Marriage Ref. Here's your premise; celebrities come in to discuss silly problems that feuding couples have, and then Tom Papa (no relations to Rozlyn Papa, I hope) gives a verdict. Regardless of who wins, the couple themselves get some sort of cruise for seeing their relationship being made fun of for 15 minutes. I wonder what my prize is for sitting through this drivel for an hour.
Chico: You feel a little bit deader before the eyes so as to lessen the pain for next week?
Gordon: This isn't really a game show. Let's get that off the bat now. This is a talk/comedy show geared to make fun of the relationships of people, and an excuse to get high level celebrities to talk about silly stuff.
Chico: True. There's competition, there's a winner...but it's not really a game show. It's about as much a game show as "Liars" was back in the 1990s. (and that made the Tome, so...)
Gordon: This actually has potential on it, and it does work on paper. The problem is that Tom Papa is not Jerry Seinfeld and isn't a good conduit to the discussion. You also have the celebrities worried too much about self-promotion and personal issues to do anything meaningful or thought-provoking.
Chico: Bring up the Tina Fey movie reel....
Gordon: Exactly. Finally, these situations are so idiotic (where to put a mounted stuffed animal? really?) that it takes the idea of actual water cooler conversation and throws it out the window.
Chico: It almost makes you want to not talk about anything ever... again.... I mean, as a show, it's just there... You watch and you really get nothing out of it. It works on paper, but the whole let's turn marriage into a sport shtick is so beaten thin that it's more or less a throwaway by hour's end.

	THE MARRIAGE REF - NBC
	CHICO	GORDON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	F	F	EPIC FAIL

Gordon: Throwaway is the correct word here. F.
Chico: F.
Gordon: You know what? We haven't had an epic fail in a while.
Chico: EPiC FAIL TIME! I wish Fremantle didn't disengage Cory's big button. Boo. But that wasn't the only epic fail we had on Thursday. Someone found Cirie out.



Gordon: The problem is that Cirie found herself out. If you're in the minority in an alliance, and if someone else is targeted, you don't want to put yourself in the crossfire.
Chico: You don't want to draw cover, as it were.
Gordon: And cover was both drawn and blown.
Chico: Cirie did just that in playing to flush out the Idol. Instead, Cirie was flushed as well.
Gordon: Here's the scenario. Tom and Colby are in the minority alliance, but Tom finds the Hidden Immunity Idol (which Amanda catches him doing). As a result, the majority figures to split the vote, which would result in one of them being voted out. However, JT aligns with Tom and Colby to target Candace, which would have gone down, except that Cirie vocally complained about it. So the three decide to target her instead.
Chico: So instead of the player who was SUPPOSED to go home, out goes Cirie. Not so much a good move by a majority alliance, but a BAD BAD BAD move on Cirie's part.
Gordon: Yes, but we have a bunch of moronic issues here.
Chico: You mean there's moooooore!
Gordon: Yep. First of all, Cirie and Candace pay for picking the wrong alliance to go with, as they were told that they'd be targeted first should they go to the other side.
Gordon: Second of all, the three of JT, Tom and Colby went after the wrong target.
Gordon: Who SHOULD they have gone after, Chico?
Chico: Amanda! She's been on the outs for ages.
Gordon: Thaaats correct. (DING!)
Chico: She's the X-factor. She's the one that found Tom find the idol. So you have to nullify that threat.
Gordon: At least Cirie has a history of switching sides and could be swayable. You know Amanda, along with James, is going to hook up with Parvati, plus she's now been to FInal Tribal Jeopardy twice.
Chico: Now Amanda is a power player.
Gordon: And she saw Tom with the idol. You have to get rid of her asap. Now if I'm Candace, I swap sides and join the JT/Colby/Tom alliance and then target Amanda next, because if I don't, then I'm next.
Chico: That's the play.
Gordon: Of course, she had an opportunity to do that earlier and didn't.
Chico: But there's still a chance that they CAN execute. But they have to do it quickly. If there's a merge, and they HAVEN'T done it? Oh dear. You don't want to be in Amanda and Parvati's way.
Gordon: You can't let let the Amanda/James/Parvati unit reunite as a merged tribe.
Chico: So there you go. BOTH tribes now have a common target. The question now is one of follow-through. Because if I'm a student of Survivor (and you know I am)... I know what they can do. While we're on reuniting... When was the last time the Amazing Race had a good intersection?
Gordon: I'm thinking when they were teamed up to build the Roman Colosseum under the watch of Nero.
Chico: There's no Roman Coliseum, but there is a tandem bungee jump in Germany. Feeling German?
Gordon: Si.
Chico: ...
Gordon: Da?
Chico: ...Okay, let's hit the road.



Chico: This week, the Racers head to Frankfurt, where they partake in all things German: sauerkraut, polka, fast cars, football... and the red light district.
Gordon: The interesction was done with the idea that you would have someone who wouldn't bungee, creating DRAMA! However, that didn't happen, so you had uneventful jumping.
Chico: Aww.
Gordon: But you did have a number of teams getting lost. Jeff and Jordan got lost the most often, putting them in last and making them this week's morons.
Chico: This was a non-elimination leg, so the last place team will have a speed bump in the next leg.
Gordon: Yes, but before everyone says that they are in trouble next week, I'd like to remind the audience that this is not a group of rocket scientists that they are going up against. I think they will make it through the penalty unscathed unless someone u-turns them, and even at that point, they could be ok.
Chico: And I believe next stage is a blind U-Turn. So what's French for blindside? We'll never tell :-)
Gordon: Should be interesting to see who gets nailed
Chico: Very.
Gordon: I've got French to describe this week on American Idol; Sacre Bleu.
Chico: The French I want to describe the men with... tres magnifique. The French I want to describe the women with... I can't print in this column. But it begins with "M"...
Gordon: Maird?
Chico: ... yeah, that.
Gordon: Oui oui.



Chico: Out this week; John Park, Jermaine Sellers, Haeley Vaughn, and in a bit of an upset, Michelle Delamor. Again, this is what happens when you have three or four good singers... and the rest are just crap.
Gordon: The men were a clear no-brainer. John Park had his second straight week of being unmemorable. Jermaine Sellers was memorable for singing out of pitch and arguing with the judges.
Chico: And hoping for divine intervention. The women... start with the Crystal Bowersox, who was in the hospital on Tuesday for her diabetes. Hopefully she's doing well now, because we can't have this competition without her.
Gordon: She is a force to be reckoned with. You also have Katelyn, Siobhan and Katie.
Chico: We had a clear bottom four... two of them did go home..
Gordon: You could just do random draw for the other 6. In this case, the draw wound up on Haeley and Michelle. Michelle didn't define who she was enough and picked a terrible song. Haeley defined herself too much and sang badly.
Chico: But you honestly could've made a case for any one of those other six. Right now, Gordon... what's it going to take to get into the top 12?
Gordon: Actually from the people who aren't locked yet, simple; a memorable performance. I only have 4 singers locked in from each side, which makes it a 50/50 chance to get one of the 2 slots left.
Chico: Right. So you have to stand out if you're one of the eight "bubble singers". If you don't stand out, you're going home.
Gordon: Agreed. We will be talking about this more in detail later on in the show.
Chico: Right now, it's onto Let's Make a Deal... 100. A very well deserved 100. How did we celebrate, aside from shoutouts to Monty?
Gordon: Besides the shout out, we had our Let's Make a Deal 100 Episode Awards, which was silly enough.
Chico: You mean LMAD gets sillier than usual? =p
Gordon: Well sort of. You had the episode with Allison and not current model Tiffany, so there's a chance that this was shot earlier than the other episodes.
Chico: Before Alison came down sick.
Gordon: That's a pretty long sickness. Did she pick up malaria?
Chico: I don't know. I don't know what taping schedules look like for LMAD. But go on.
Gordon: The big deal was NOT won, though Porscha is the big winner with $19,905 in goodies.
Chico: She played Finish Line and won a car. Are we going to be talking about Dealing Games five years from now like we're talking about Pricing Games? =p
Gordon: I hope so. That means the show would be around for 5 years.
Chico: Nice.
Gordon: So we have a LMAD Dealie of best human portraying a real animal. The GSNN award for animal portraying a real human...Hans the Pig, portraying Chico. Nice 1-Up Hat, Hans.
Chico: Fluffy's wearing a tiny pair of glasses and a tiny bowling shirt... Awwwwwwwwwww. *squeaking* Gordon, you know what he's saying?
Gordon: He's saying that the Chico Bobble head Zonk is behind the Big Box.
Chico: You suck :-)
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. Doug Morris, the voice of Brainvision News... Gordon Pepper, the keeper of the calendar.
Gordon: I AM THE KEEPER OF THE CALENDAR!!!!
Chico: What's it got this week?

We have America's Next Top Model and Drew's 500th episode of TPIR on Wednesday. We have your Idol Top 12 results on Thursday. And we have The Celebrity Apprentice, Minute To Win it, Ultimate Recipe Showdown and Streets of America on Sunday.

Chico: All stuff to look forward to. Though I will caution you... Minute to Win It... TWO eps in two hours. Not one long two hour episode.
Gordon: So 2 hour extravaganza...or episode burnoff this quickly in the game?
Chico: The answer to your question... is yes. :-) Meanwhile, down the line, in your Greenlight for the week...

April 7 will bring your new season of "Real World/Road Rules challenge"... Fresh Meat 2

Gordon: Whoo hoo!
Chico: You're gonna love it.
Gordon: And you're going to love this baseball bat I'm presenting to you (Hands Chico the Bat)
Chico: Power...

Cablevision and ABC have made amends, strangely enough, during the Oscar broadcast last night. So if you're in NY, NJ, or CT... you have WABC programming.

Gordon: CAN ALL OF YOUR NETWORKS PLEASE LEAVE MY CABLE PROVIDER ALONE???
Chico: FiOS, dude. Get the deal, then get FiOs :-)

The name of your new Dancing with the Stars co-host is...

Chico: Drumroll...
Gordon: (brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr)
Chico: *hams stomp on the ground*

.... Brooke Burke.

Gordon: Yay!
Chico: From Rockstar host to dancer to this. And much deserved. :-)
Gordon: Not a bad choice. She did win her season.
Chico: Yep
Gordon: Now do you want to know about people who made bad choices?
Chico: Yep

Are YOU Smarter than...Jake Pavelka, who is assuces of trying to get back with his ex THE DAY AFTER he proposed to Vienna Girardi. Jake denies it, but calls and texts disprove his denials.

Chico: Woops.
Gordon: Now being that this is your faaaaavorite show, what do you have to say about this stunning development?
Chico: Again, folks... if you're going to travel (singing) On the wings of looooooove (/singing), then make sure your overhead bins are clear first
Gordon: Too much excess baggage on the flight?
Chico: yep
Gordon: What if the flight attendant served Haterade?
Chico: Then she'd be sued for harassment. Or... "harris"-ment.
Gordon: Speaking of being sued...

We haven't had a good Price is Right lawsuit. This one comes from Brandi Cochran (Sherwood), who claims discrimination and harrassment while she was pregnant.

Chico: Not to mention that she miscarried as a result of stress on the show. That's... umm... I just find that a Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit hard to swallow.
Gordon: I'm not going to be able to give a diagnosis on that stuff. I'll let the doctors deal with it.
Chico: Agreed. I have a few friends who are currently expecting. I should ask them if stress ever was known to cause miscarriage.
Gordon: But if you're having a baby, does that mean you're Fully Loaded? :) Not with booze, but loaded with baby
Chico: Ah.
Gordon: Give me something a baby can enjoy
Chico: Babies enjoy apps.

As reported in passing last week, TPIR 2010 is now available as an app on the iPhone and iPod Touch. It plays similarly to its bigger console brothers... and it's only $5.

Gordon: Does it play like the real game?
Chico: As real as the console versions play. I mean, it's no TV game, but it's pretty good there.
Gordon: Are there real guest media hoes that show up during the showcase showdown?
Chico: No.
Gordon: Aw.
Chico: Sorry
Gordon: Well before we go there, I want a Red Casting Couch
Chico: I'm already there.

The Biggest Loser has been renewed, and they want contestants. If you want to be on the show, go here: http://www.realitywanted.com/call/6807-nbcs-the-biggest-loser-season-10-now-casting

Chico: that ought to be fun.
Gordon: You know any women with armpit hair, Chico?
Chico: Thankfully, no
Gordon: Pity...

MTV's hit series Silent Library is Looking for four REAL walk on Characters for their 3rd Season!

Character #1 - FEMALE w/Bushy or Long Armpit hair
Character #2 - MALE, ASIAN and Overweight
Character #3 - MALE, Older ASIAN, experienced in Martial Arts
Character #4 - ANY GENDER, Paddle Ball Expert!

If you or anyone you know of meet these requirements please apply with information about your background and a photo of yourself. The rate is $300/dayNY, CT, NJ, PA Areas Only

http://www.realitywanted.com/call/6793-mtvs-3rd-season-of-silent-library-casting-for-characters

Chico: "Not bad... for a day at the library."
Gordon: Nope. What about a day with the hoes?
Chico: (plays "Pimpin' All Over the world")

In this week's Media Ho Report, Ali Fedotowski is your new Bachelorette, Meredith Vieiera officially signs her contract with Today, Simon Cowell is backed up with gigs for the next 18 months...

Chico: Which strangely has him depressed.

Martha Stewart is pitching a reality series. Mark Burnett is pitching a Sarah Palin reality series, and paparazzi get arrested for trying to stake out Jason and Molly's wedding.

Gordon: But none of them are the hoes of the week.
Chico: Go on...
Gordon: Your hoes are Cheyne Whitney and Meghan Rickey, who are now a million dollar engaged couple. Maybe CBS will get a wedding special going.
Chico: That's... umm... yeah...
Gordon: You know you want to watch.
Chico: I'll pass, thanks.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And finally, let's Go Global.

Push the Button... it's the new game starring Ant & Dec, and it's turning into a big hit. Also on the BBC, they're spending big money to have "Strictly Come Dancing" compete with "X Factor". Round one... FIGHT!

Gordon: Does that mean we'll get a watered down version of it in the states after another network tries to clone it?
Chico: God, I hope not. That would suck. Horribly.
Gordon: It would. And it also sucks that Brainvision is over. Shut it Down.
Chico: Done.
Gordon: Later on in the show, we decide what should and will happen. But first, we discuss how worse we can be in our Idol picks. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you 22 actors who would love to be part of the next skit on Instant Recall.

(BrainVision has been brought to you by Cash Cow. We have our Cash Cow, Penny Ponies and Money Monkeys waiting for you on or Let's Make a Deal Set. We have party animals!)

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE