Episode 23.14 - Drumroll,
Please
April 12
Chico: Hey, guys. This is Chico Alexander, and if
you've been watching WLTI for the last few weeks, you know my brother Gordon
here... he wanted to wait until today to say something about the current season
of American Idol. So, I'm just gonna let him say it...
*drumroll*
Gordon: I will say it...later. Right now, I need to console my pal Chico. This
is NOT a good week to be a UNC Tarheel.
Chico: No, it is not.
Gordon: UNC loses in the NIT finals. Meanwhile, Duke wins the NCAA championship.
How does it feel?
Chico: I hate myself and I want to die.
Jason: No you don't
Chico: Well... no, but this week hurt.
Jason: Look, it's all good. We are your friends. Chico needs a hug.
Gordon: So this week, we need Chico to deal with his pain. Fortunately, this
week in game shows wasn't as bad.
Chico: No. In fact. It was good. And we'll tell you how good in a moment,
because from somewhere in America... WLTI... is... ON!
Jason: WOOT!
Gordon: Gordon and Chico here, along with special guest Jason Block.
Jason: Pleasure to be back in the nuthouse.
Gordon: But let's just get the bad out of the way first, so we can help Chico
with the healing. We start with a skunk.
Jason: Again?
Chico: Yep. Again. Wednesday's TPIR was easily avoidable. Instead, we get a nice
skunk smell as no one wins their games. It's gonna take another couple of weeks
and maybe a double Showcase win to clear the stench out.
Jason: That bad huh?
Chico: Yep. Let's take it on a game by game basis.
Gordon: Let's.
Chico: It's In the Bag... lost at $8000. It was only that product that missed
the mark. Now $4.39.... Golden Grahams, Planters cashews, or Land O Lakes
butter?
Jason: Butter I think
Chico: Butter is right. Golden Grahams are $3.29. the cashews... worthless.
Gordon: Did he lose by thinking with his nuts?
Chico: Yup.
Gordon: I don't get it. For the past few weeks, you lose your nuts, you smash
your nuts, and now you lose by thinking with your nuts.
Chico: Just be grateful you know where your nuts are. Now let's play for a
Hyundai Sonata. Here's $7 for each of you.
Gordon: Ok
Chico: First number is 2.
LUCKY 7 For a Hyundai Sonata
$2 _, _ _ _
Gordon: $7 Jason: $7
Gordon: I'll say second number is a 2.
Jason: 3
Chico: It is... 1.
LUCKY 7 For a Hyundai Sonata
$2 1, _ _ _
Gordon: $6 Jason: $5
Chico: Next number?
Gordon: 4
Jason: 8
Chico: Next is... 3.
Jason: I am out
Gordon: Jason lost his nuts again, daddy.
Chico: Yep. And you still have five nuts.
LUCKY 7 For a Hyundai Sonata
$2 1, 3 _ _
Gordon: $5 Jason: $0.69
Chico: next number?
Gordon: I'll say 6.
Chico: 7 is good.
LUCKY 7 For a Hyundai Sonata
$2 1, 3 7 _
Gordon: $4 Jason: $0.69
Chico: Four dollars. Final guess.
Gordon: Now logically you would say 5.
Chico: True.
Gordon: BUT...
Chico: But...
Gordon: What number do the producers seem to have a car fixation on?
Jason: 9
Gordon: They loooove that 9. So, since I have a $3 spread, I'm going to say $6.
It covers the $5 and the $9. Last number is a 6, Chico.
Chico: I would've gone 7, straight down the middle.
Gordon: Why if you have a $3 spread with $4 left? You're going to cover the 10
if the last number is a 10?
Chico: ... Ah, right. But the player had $3 with a $2 spread.
Gordon: If the player had $3, then say 7.
Chico: But 6 is a good bet, because the last number is 9.
LUCKY 7 For a Hyundai Sonata
$2 1, 3 7 9
Gordon: WIN! Jason: FAIL
Gordon: Do I win the car?
Chico: Of course not.
Gordon: You know, one day, that education from UNC will give you enough money to
award me a real car.
Chico: Next game... Prada accessories for $4745 and a motorcycle worth $3999.
Stay... or switch?
Jason: Stay
Chico: Stay is a good bet. You know how motorcycles love to end with 9.
Gordon: Stay. Since when is a collection $_,999?
Chico: There you go. The contestant Switched and got it wrong. Okay. You want to
go to Sonoma?
Gordon: Sure
Jason: Let's :-) Hic...sorry wrong segment :-)
Chico: Heh.
Chico: It's not $9397. Flip... Flip... or Flipflop?
Jason: $9,379
Gordon: $3,997
Chico: One of you... is right.
Gordon: Oh goodie.
Chico: Gordon... you're still not going to Sonoma.
Jason: yes :-)
Chico: Neither are you, because although Gordon isn't going on my dime, he got
it right. It was $3997.
Gordon: I win :)
Jason: LOL
Chico: Next, let's Line'em Up for a Ford Escape.
Gordon: I'll let Jason do this one. Because he needs a win. Badly.
Chico: Your smallies are $754 luggage, $29 lemonade maker, and $749 electric
grill. Jason, the Price: $2 -, - - 9.
Jason: 24,279
Chico: ONE is right
Jason: 24,949
Chico: It was $25,249. You lose.
Jason: *THUD*
Chico: Gordon, you get the last one. Secret X.
Gordon: Ok. I'll take the Freebie in the Top Left, please
Chico: Manicure set. $59 or $84?
Gordon: $59
Chico: Good good...
Gordon: Lower right with my X.
Chico: Now Bread maker. $180 or $250?
Gordon: $180
Chico: Right again.
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: Where're we going?
Gordon: I'll go Top Right, so my board looks like this:
X ? X
- ? -
- ? X
Chico: And the Secret X is...
X - X
- X -
- - X
Chico: You're good!
Gordon: Yay! I win!
Jason: Again.
Chico: Now it's Showcase time. Gordon, you're top winner.
Gordon: Excellent.
Chico: You get two garden cabanas, a hot tub, and a trip to the French Riviera
where you can hook up with all the French chicks you want.
Gordon: Jay's been to Europe to play in a poker tournament. Jay can have it.
Chico: Jay, it's yours. What's your bid?
Gordon: I think he left is nuts in the hot tub.
Jason: $25,000
Chico: $25,000 for Jay. Gordon... Here's your Showcase.
Gordon: Tell me what I'm not going to win.
Jason: ROFL
Chico: You get a seating group with HDTV, a workbench with work station and
power tools... and a Dodge Charger.
Gordon: Ooooh. This bid is not what I think the Showcase is worth. This is my
opinion of Jay's bid, and what I promise you I'll bid if I'm in the same
situation on the real show. $69.
Jason: ROFL
Chico: Gordon going for the Youtube moment.
Gordon: I think Jay is way over.
Chico: The price of Gordon's Showcase is $32,408. A difference of $32,339.
Gordon: Whoo hoo.
Chico: Jason's Showcase is... $22,561.
Jason: Darn it :-)
Chico: Jay IS over. Gordon wins!
Gordon: And $69 wins again :D
Chico: Now I ask you... What's Drew Carey got that I ain't got? =p
Jason: Millions of Dollars
Gordon: Sturdier knees.
Chico: Ha. Okay, what's next?
Gordon: Next up, we stay with the CBS synergy and say goodbye to someone that
doesn't have sturdy knees.
Jason: Ouch.
Gordon: The Cowboys, who start the leg in last, actually win the whole leg when
they blow through their Road Block of balancing giant flagpoles on their heads.
Chico: They're big flag poles.
Gordon: This is the first time that a team goes form last to first when they
have to do a Speed Bump as well.
Chico: I remember the Cops coming in next to last THEN going to first in the
next leg. But as far as Speedbumps are concerned... yeah, what G said.
Gordon: Steve and Allie have problems with that same Road Block and switch
tasks. Allie shows us that some blonde women have problems trying to handle
large poles.
Jason: Our rating is soooooo gone :-)
Gordon: They switch challenges, and the time they waste does them in.
Chico: That's a rule, I believe. Don't switch unless you know you can't handle
something.
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: As it is, you're just wasting time.
Gordon: Right, Chances are they could have gotten it done quickly. Certainly
quicker than taking fireworks up a temple.
Jason: Especially in 100 degree weather
Chico: Needless to say... That's hot.
Jason: This is what nearly killed Luke's Mom last season
Chico: Is it too early to say that the Cowboys may be the best Amazing Race team
ever... or just the smartest of this season?
Gordon: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA not a chance.
Chico: Ba Dum bum.
Gordon: The best Amazing Race team ever doesn't lose clues, forget bottles and
need a non-elimination leg to stick around.
Chico: Forgot about that. Good point. Staying on that side of the word, we head
to Samoa and more...
Gordon: The Russell plan continues, as he continues to clean out the alpha
males.
Chico: And Coach is another victim who's just too "good" to be a villain.
Jason: Wuss.
Chico: Basically.
Gordon: Like JT, Coach needed to stick to the program. He betrayed Rob way too
soon, and wound up in the minority camp. When you do that, you're usually gone
quickly.
Chico: I don't think Coach betrayed Rob so much as he allowed him to BE
betrayed.
Jason: How long do you think before we have the merge?
Chico: I think another couple of weeks.
Gordon: I'd say at least one more challenge. Maybe merge at 10
Chico: That's about right. Now interesting bit of info. I'm gonna bring up the
Big Board..
A Possible Rift
- Rob's missing...
- Danielle, Parvati, Sandra & Courtney: COACH
- ... Female Alliance?
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Chico: I'm going to call this A Possible Rift.
Now this may or may not change the way the Survivors play the game. Now go back
to the Reward Challenge, the Heroes note that Rob was gone and immediately
think.. Female alliance. It wouldn't be the FIRST time Parvati had thought such
a thing, but up until now, no one even gave that much of a thought. But look at
the votes. Danielle, Parvati, Sandra and Courtney all voted to eliminate COACH.
Coach, Jerri, and Russell voted to eliminate COURTNEY, who was actually the weak
link in the tribe. Gordon, break down what you're seeing here. Because I
think... If I'm Russell, I had a plan, and someone deviated. I'd figure out who,
then get rid of them accordingly. That seems to be par for the course for him.
Gordon: Not really. The group wanted to get rid of one or the other. I think
getting rid of coach is a good idea because it cements the core of 5 together. I
also think that should the Villains have to come back to Tribal, that Courtney
is a goner.
Chico: Right, right. Then there's what would happen if the heroes went back to
Tribal, because JT is living on borrowed time as it is. I'm sure he realizes if
he doesn't perform in the challenges... he's gone.
Gordon: Agreed.
Jason: I have one question...why are players not playing the same games that got
them the win? Because its seems to be a lot of the players are not remembering
how they got there.
Gordon: I disagree. Russell is playing the exact same game. So is Jerri and
Parvati and Sandra. And hence, they are all in the power positions.
Chico: You need to play this game to win. Anyway, you remember Jerri - by any
means necessary. Russell - dealing with everyone. Parvati - playing the flirt.
And Sandra - just going with the flow.
Gordon: If they can capitalize on the weakness of the heroes, that could be your
final 4.
Jason: Could be :-)
Gordon: How weird is it that Jerri feels like a favorite here?
Jason: Very. :-) She has been just under the radar enough
Chico: Weird... and almost chill-inducing.
Gordon: Also weird - your new ABDC Champions.
Chico: Weird, but in a GOOD way. What do you get when you cross popping,
choreography and robotics?
Gordon: Not to mention a sense of humor seen in Season 1 by Kaba Modern, but
with more charisma?
Jason: Poreotix :-)
Chico: *does Ultraman pose* Lots of charisma. Lots of character.
Jason: Is this the 5th season where the west has won?
Chico: This is indeed the fifth season where the west was won. They beat the
East Coast-based Blueprint out of Montreal. They were THAT close to winning the
whole thing. But Poreotix... they had that X factor. They weren't just dancers,
they were entertainers.
Gordon: They have the whole package.
Jason: Best crew since Jabbawockeez?
Chico: I'd say Jabbawockeez... then Poreotix.
Gordon: I don't know about that. Would be interesting to see a tournament of
champions. We sort of have that in the realm of cooking. Who's up for another
season of Top Chef: Masters?
Jason: I am.
Chico: I am. Let's EAT!
Gordon: We have 6 chefs competing, and 2 of them make it to the champions round.
In addition, the chefs are working in pairs.
Chico: Wow. That's different. We have Ana Sortun & Jerry Traundfeld, Govind
Armstrong & Jimmy Bradley, and Susan Feniger & Tony Mantuano
Gordon: Advancing are Feniger and Mantuano, on a less than enthralling 16.5
stars.
Chico: Well, there are still 16 superstar chefs left to compete. If it's
anything like last year, we may get another four in the champions round, and
they will go on to play the Top Chef game.
Jason: And the food is going to be even better to look at.
Gordon: It sure will. Isn't it true that good food sings to you?
Chico: Yep. And good songs are like wine. They get better with age.
Jason: Mostly :-)
Gordon: Which leads us to this season.
Gordon: Your bottom 3 this week is Aaron Kelly, Andrew Garcia, and in a huge
shock, Michael Lynche, who also was designated to be leaving.
Chico: HOWEVER. Michael decided to abandon a really REALLY horrid take on
"Eleanor Rigby" to take on "A Woman's Work", which was seen as THE song for him.
Gordon: Mike made a number if mistakes this week. Eleanor Rigby was awful.
People figured he'd be safe, and other people were in more trouble. The judges
did have to use the save here, and they did.
Jason: I don't think Eleanor Rigby was that bad!
Chico: It wasn't bad, it just wasn't HIM.
Jason: NO!
Chico: YES!
Jason: Hold on a second. I need to pat Gordon on the back for something. May I?
Gordon: Sure.
Jason: This is what Gordon said about Michael Lynche way back in February 19th.
"He'll make the Top 12 easily. Now will he get
any further? He will, but my pick is that he'll be the contestant that leaves
way too soon and gets the audience wondering if the fix is in (while there will
be a perfectly good reason why he got knocked out, but everyone will ignore it
because it's way too much fun to go after the establishment. Anarchy!)"
Jason: How good are you!
Gordon: I also called Janelle Wheeler to win the whole thing :P
Jason: But that's a good prediction
Gordon: True. not how I pictured it, but true. So Chico, I know there's
something you wanted to know this year about Idol.
Jason: Yes, we do.
Gordon: This...is...NOT the worst season of American Idol. And let me say why.
Chico: I want to hear this. Because I think that save for maybe season 3, this
is down there.
Gordon: If you look at it like an NCAA Tournament, this is Duke Vs. everyone
else right now. The people that you expected to give Crystal a run for the money
- the Ashley Rodriguez's, Janell Wheelers, etc. all stunk in the early rounds
and got booted. So you still have the decent singers. The difference is that
right now, no one can touch Crystal consistently. I'm not going to give her the
title now, but it's hers to lose.
Chico: Okay, that is precisely why this season's so bad. Because if you ask me,
there are only a few people in the hunt right now that look like and sing like
they want this. Everyone else is incredibly inconsistent.
Gordon: I don't think there's anyone in the hunt. This is a race for who's
against her in the finals. Barring a collapse by her, she's got the contract.
Jason: Yes.
Chico: And you know one of the things that we learn about Idol... Consistency is
key.
Gordon: The difference is that although no one else is in her league, they are
still 'decent', and not 'ear crushing', but the problem on why it's not deemed
as well is because they just are not as good as Crystal.
Chico: Yes, Crystal is the favorite. And that's PRECISELY why she won't win. The
favorite NEVER wins.
Gordon: The favorite going into the show was Andrew Garcia. And you're right,
the favorite never wins. Crystal wasn't the favorite. She is now, and she'll
win.
Jason: Yeah
Chico: I hope she does. I want her to prove me wrong here. I want people to come
out and show up and believe that they can win this. Not just the upper crust
muddled with crap and Katie the Robot.
Gordon: But why is this not the worst season? Because the other singers are
still good. It's not like season 3, where you had Jon Peter Lewis, Jasmine Trias,
Diana DeGarmo and John Stevens, who consistently sang brutally.
Jason: Ouch
Gordon: At least everyone now can sing well. Even Tim Urban, who wasn't that bad
last week.
Chico: He wasn't. I wanted to know if the world shifted that night.
Gordon: No. But here's what we got this week: Rock with Adam Lambert.
Jason: Who does Adam Lambert help and hurt?
Gordon: Who does this help? Crystal, of course.
Chico: Right. And Lee.
Gordon: Lee, of course
Chico: If you ask me, those two are in front.
Gordon: And you know the audience will be voting hard for Mr. Lynche
Chico: Michael's going to get a vote backlash.
Gordon: He will. Siobhan 'Paint it Black' Magnus should be fine as well.
Chico: And Casey...
Gordon: Casey should be ok here as well - as long as he doesn't pull a Lynche.
Chico: That leaves... the bottom. Tim, Andrew, Aaron, and Katie.
Gordon: 2 of those 4 are toast.
Chico: Right. And if you were to ask me now... Andrew needs the least help.
Gordon: And I think the Andy Garcia and Aaron Kelly fans, seeing their 2
favorites in the bottom, will be voting a lot to keep them in. That means that
Katie and Tim could be in deep trouble.
Chico: Yes it does. Meanwhile, the hams have decided to create their own rock
band. And Eve's serving as the tour bus driver. You sure that's a good idea?
Jason: Not with that look.
Chico: I think we need to start up the news before Eve gets a taste of that new
wave sound.
Gordon: Eve sort of looks like Sebastian of Josie and the Pussycats fame,
doesn't she?
Chico: Cartoon or movie? =p
Jason: Oh boy
Gordon: I'll let you think about that. Meanwhile, Roll that Beautiful
Brainvision Footage.
(Doug:
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your
frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico
Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: ... and Doug Morris on the piano.
Jason: Very nice
Chico: Okay, we're going to start this with the greenlight.
Jeopardy!
and Wheel get two more years, as a new contract is out until 2014. Pat and Alex
stay on as well through then.
Chico: Yay.
Jason: Not a surprise.
Chico: Nope. They're the two biggest draws in prime access. And in the NYC area,
they even outdraw some primetime fare.
Also getting a pickup...Minute to Win It and The Marriage Ref.
Jason: Not a shock either. Cheap and semi-successful
Chico: Now the Marriage Ref I can understand, because it did infinitely better
than Jay Leno was doing and NBC has to have something. But Minute to Win It, for
all its attempts, hasn't put a dent in the landscape. But again, it's cheap and
NBC has to have SOMEthing.
Gordon: It's cheap and it gets somewhat decent ratings.
Chico: So... Minute to Win It season 2... And hey, did we mention it was
casting? Go to NBC.com/casting for more info.
Gordon: That's next season. Here's what's coming up next week...
In
this week's Date Book, we get Chefs Vs. City, Season 2 on Sunday.
Chico: If you remember, season 1 had Chris Cosentino and frequent Chopped judge
Aaron Sanchez taking on the locals in various food challenges. This oughta be
tasty.
Jason: Yummy.
Chico: Just want to sink your teeth into it.
Gordon: True. and then get Fully Loaded afterwards.
Chico: Yep.
Jason: (HIC)
Chico: Jason and I have Apple products that you can carry around. He has an iPod
touch. I have an iPhone.
Well,
now if you have an iPhone or iPod touch, you have... PRESS YOUR LUCK.
Gordon: I have a Mac, on which they should make Press Your Luck for.
Chico: It plays like the console versions, it's portable, you can get it at the
App Store for $3 for a limited time.
Jason: Which I bought BTW, and I have a quick review
Chico: Lay it on me
Jason: To me, it's better than the Price is Right Iphone game. Less mistakes,
and the graphics are good for the emulation. The AI for a one person game is ok
at best, though. Haven't played the 3 person party mode
Chico: K.
Jason: But for $3.00 you could do a heck of a lot worse.
Chico: So you get a lot for $3.
Gordon: But getting a chalkboard is priceless.
Chico: I agree.
Jason (Wheels in Chalkboard)
Are
YOU Smarter than...Survivor Producer Bruce Beresford-Redman, who is arrested for
allegedly killing his wife in Mexico and allegedly trying to get back to the
states before the police discover her body. It didn't work and he's being held
in Mexico.
Chico: He was released from prison but ordered to stay in the country.
Jason: Ouch.
Gordon: he was seen arguing with his wife the day before her disappearance and
is considered the prime suspect.
Chico: Yup.
Gordon: Now who wants some Haterade?
Chico: Right here.
Gordon: We got some glasses this week.
We
start with this - apparently we're not the only people sick and tired of Kate
Gosselin. According to Dance Judge Bruno Tonioli, 'Kate is pretty dreadful.
She's crap. But in a nice way. She is entertaining.'
Chico: With all due respect, G... duh.
Jason: Yeah...duh :-)
Gordon: This is also entertaining.
Jason: Hi Augustus
Hi Augustus, and bye 'I Love Money', which has been officially canned,
according to VH1 reps.
Chico: Yep. Season 3, which was taped before Ryan Jenkins' suicide... and season
4, which was ordered, will never see the light of day. The awful, awful light of
day.
Jason: This was not a shock, after the Ryan Jenkins fiasco....this was
inevitable.
Gordon: But we're not done.
Jason: we arent?
Nope. The Girls of Hedsor Hall gets axed by MTV, and ABC's summer schedule
being released means no more Crash Course, I Survived a Japanese Game Show, Here
Come the Newlyweds, The Superstars, and...yes...Who Wants to be a Millionaire on
the Summer.
Gordon: Finally...
Chico: Holy crap. There's Haterade, and then there's Haterade overload. =p
Claudia Jordan has called it quits with Datari Turner, claiming that 'he lied
about everything...he misrepresented himself.'
Chico: I can't imagine how. Or I can, but I can't print it here.
Jason: Exactly. Ouch.
Chico: Okay, on that bombshell, we're going to Italy.
Gordon: Let's travel.
Jason: Let's go
Sony's
Toro has inked a first-look deal with Talpa to "work with an ever-widening and
impressive formats portfolio." Credits for Toro include Who Wants to Be a
Millionaire, Take It or Leave It, and 50/50.
Chico: Talpa has also inked similar deals with producers in France, Australia,
New Zealand, Portugal, Spain, Scandinavia, and the US.
Gordon: Connecting up with SONY is a pretty good career move.
Chico: Yep.
Jason: Very good
Chico: Sony's got a big portfolio.
Gordon: They also have big media hoes.
Chico: (plays "Pimpin' All Over the World")
In this week's Hodometer, Betty White launches 'Hot in Cleveland', Adam
Lambert is this week's American Idol Mentor, with Shania Twain up on
deck...Steve Harvey guest hosts Millionaire, Mel B. hosts Dance Your Ass Off,
Adam Jasinski petitions to get our of rehab...Ayla Brown (American Idol) is a
contributor to The Early Show, Ben Silverman and Oprah Winfrey create reality
shows, and Blake Shelton with Bomshel will be part of The Price is Right's
Country Music episode.
Chico: That's Friday. That's not big enough to warrant Ho of the Week status, is
it?
Gordon: Nope. None of them are the Hoes of the week.
Jason: Who is big enough?
Gordon: Your hoes are Simon Cowell, Kara DioGuardi, Ellen DeGeneres, Ryan
Seacrest and Randy Jackson, who will all be animated judges on The Simpsons.
Chico: Can we bring up the picture? I think it's cool.
Gordon: Bring it up
Chico: I think they nailed it.
Gordon: Agreed.
Jason: That's cool
Gordon: Very cool. And those...are your hoes.
Jason: I bet they had to draw that the day Ellen was announced.
Gordon: And that's Brainvision. Shut it down.
Jason: Shutting down
Chico: Yeah, but they're quick like that. And so are we with commercials. still
to come, they had pickups, I have a crossword! But first, Gordon?
Gordon: First, we have our own trial by fire. You're reading WLTI. You give us
22 minutes, and we'll give you 22 pricing games that are preferred by 4 out of 5
skunks. Punch-A-Bunch, Secret X, Joker...
Chico: While G finishes his list, watch this...
(BrainVision has been brought to you by Kentucky Fried Tarheels. We have 2 new
flavors to unveil: Dayton Flyer Fever and Blue Devil Delight. Kentucky Fried
Tarheels: Rameses Done Right!)
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