April 9, 2007

Jason: lol
Gordon: Are Ryan Vickers and Don Harpwood commentating?
Chico: I'm making calls as we speak.
Gordon: I see...and I making a judgment call. We're all judges.
Jason: (knocks back some Passover wine) Ok...I can be Paula now.
Chico: Sloshed much?
Jason: allegedly
Gordon: Ok now...Chico is Paula, Jason is Simon, and the topic is...

Sanjaya Malakar

Chico: I have to have a soft spot in my heart for this guy. He sang to me...
He's just... adorable...
Jason: He's Just Awful, Paula. He is making a mockery of this competition. I said I would quit the show, and I mean it. You will have to deal with Piers Morgan if he is around for the whole thing. Just because he looks like the guy who would style you, doesn't make him a good singer.
Chico: If it means not dealing with your tartness, then I'm all for it.
Jason: If he wins, you might be out of a job. Do you want that, Paula?
Chico: ... I can manage.

(AIRHORN)

Gordon: Next one?
Jason: (high five)
Chico: Next up, Jason... heh... Jason, how do you feel about being Paula?
Jason: I'll manage.
Gordon: Jason loves the female roles
Chico: Okay, forget I asked. Jason's Paula. Gordon's Simon. The topic is...

Grease failing.

Jason: The American missed a great opportunity to see all these young talented people sing their hearts out for a job on Broadway. I feel so bad for the stars
Gordon: Of course Grease was going to fail. I expect the musical to be a disaster on Titanic proportions.  Titanic - that's another musical that failed.
Jason: Have you seen them in the show yet? They are going to do fine. And it was British...just like you.
Gordon: I don't need to see them in the show. I've seen them sing a bunch of crappy karaoke top 40 remakes. They can't possibly do much better with Grease material
Jason: Billy Bush...what a host. He can make anything look good.
Gordon: You're absolutely right. Billy Bush makes Pat Bullard look like Emmy-winning Material.
Jason: You have no faith, Simon.
Gordon: I have Faith. Maybe if they did a musical about George Michael I would be more entertained.

(AIRHORN)

Jason: Nice.
Chico: Wow... that was harsh.
Gordon: Well, that is the game - lol. Next one...I'm Paula, Chico is Simon, and the category is...

I Love New York

Chico: Ah. Proof positive that anyone with an attitude can get their own TV show.
Gordon: I am so happy to see love conquer all. I Love New York and her choice of Tango. Love is so eternal.
Chico: But only so few deserve it. Yeah, the trashy couple of the century.
Gordon: She deserves it. She was full fledged entertainment. She and her mom should go on The Amazing Race next
Chico: She only came into it because she was this whole scripted caricature.
Gordon: Wouldn't you love to see Tiffany Pollard and Mommy Pollard run the Amazing Race?
Chico: If it means they're running from a bull in Pamplona, then why not? Even better if they're running towards the bulls. But it just proves that anyone... ANYONE can have their 15 on the telly and then fade back into public obscurity.
Gordon: Maybe if it was the Chicago Bulls, sure. Wouldn't it be great to see Tiffany's mom select a man from the Chicago Bulls?
Chico: I'd rather see a show starring New York's mom. I thought she had potential.
Gordon: See - you agree with me =)
Chico: I agree that mum had potential. But New York herself... useless.

(AIRHORN)

Chico: Okay, next up, hmm... I'm Paula... again, Jason's Simon... and the topic is...

Identity's ratings drop.

Jason: This one is simple. They don't have the pairing of 1v.100 as a lead in. The show can't handle itself on it's own.
Chico: It's a good game. It's compelling, it's one we all play.
Jason: And besides, they didn't have Jason Block as an Identity. That would have goosed the ratings.
Chico: And it's going out there to other countries, that just proves that it has the staying power to last elsewhere. And besides, it's not just an 18-49 world.
Jason: Tell that to our employer.
Chico: You can't just dismiss what those WLTI guys called a great game.
Jason: This is an 18-49 world. We just live in it. It may be a great game, but it needs the other game to balance it.
Chico: So you agree that it's a great game that needs to be discovered.
Jason: I never said it was a bad game to begin with. You don't listen. I am saying that on it's own, it cant handle itself.
Chico: I think it can. you just need to find a place for it.

(AIRHORN)

Chico: Right, that was fun. Next?
Gordon: I'm Paula, Jason is Simon and the subject is....

My Games Fever

Jason: Awful. Awful Awful.
Gordon: I think it's a masterpiece. Kourtney with a K needs his own vehicle - maybe a new Sitcom.
Jason: The games are pathetically easy and the hosts are annoying.
Gordon: And the masterful skill of them having to unscramble 030...ingenious.
Jason: You are just going to say it rocks because of the guy who went shirtless!
Gordon: It's not my fault if he's sexy. I want to bed him. And he's not on the show so I'm allowed to. Is that so wrong?
Jason: The contestants are dumb. Kourtney with a K is the perfect example of why the British education system rules over yours. You want to bed anybody who isn't on the show. That's wrong.
Gordon: Its not wrong. I'm a free woman. I can do whatever I please. Besides, Randy Jackson's influence is in the show. Count the number of yo, yo, yos. Who cares if the answer is wrong? It's fun to play!
Jason: Proof positive that you can sell ANYTHING to ANYBODY.
Gordon: I wonder if Mario Vazquez is going to be the new host on the show. He is soooo dreamy. Can I bed him too?

(AIRHORN)

Jason: LOL
Chico: Well, we won't get the answer to that any time soon... And finally... Jason: Paula. Gordon: Simon. Subject...

Bill Bellamy's offer on last Sunday's Deal or No Deal. Bill gave the bank's offer as well as a chance to audition for Last Comic Standing.

Jason: Oh I love corporate synergy...who knows...if he took it...we could see the next Josh Blue! He is so funny!
Gordon: Oh yes. Josh Blue was a laugh riot. I'm crippled, so vote for me. How droll. What will this guy's shtick be - I gave up 1 million dollars so vote for me?
Jason: But he could be living a dream...who doesn't want to be a successful stand up comic? Haven't you lived our dream, Simon?
Gordon: Let's see...chance for a million or a nation wide contest for...$250,000. Deal Or No Deal was thw wrong show for him. He SHOULD have been on Are You Smarter than a 5th grader.
Jason: That's my favorite show! Sometimes I miss though...
Gordon: Yes. My dream is to be mean and nasty and to make fun of horny old choreographer has-beens. I would say that I'm living the life of luxury right now.
Jason: I am not OLD! Take that back! (slaps you with my purse)
Gordon: You are old, you old goat. You hit worse than Jason Block.

(AIRHORN)

Jason: WHOO!
Chico: I think when we reach to the level of violence... that's... that's when it has to stop. Y'all are getting too close.
Gordon: lol
Chico: This is Paula & Simon, not Brett & Charles.
Jason: LOL
Chico: Big Finish a-comin' up!

(Brought to you by Fleeced. Just wait until opening night, when we put Sanjaya Malakar and Jasmine Trias in the roles of Danny and Sandy. Heh, heh, heh...)

Jason: I'll be handing the Tomatoes out
Chico: I want my money... and some of theirs.. back. And I'm sure all of America will agree with me.
Gordon: America may want to see...The Big Finish!  DWTS. Leeza is out...right?
Chico: Makes sense.
Jason: Yes.
Chico: How about Phil on AI? Will el sabor latino be his undoing?
Gordon: El Sabor Latino means Phil is going Adios.
Jason: And I think Phil goes.
Gordon: Lisi, Leeza, Same difference. Speaking of which...Survivor. When does that merge show up?
Jason: 2 weeks.
Chico: As for Survivor... soon-ish. I'll say 2 weeks.
Gordon: Amazing Race....We said Eric and Danielle will win. They are tons of time back. Do you still have faith?
Chico: One word... equalizer.
Jason: I do.
Chico: Although newly-crowned ugly Americans Charla and Mirna now have a pretty big case.
Jason: How do you mean?
Chico: Leading legs twice in a row. Still, though. I'm still waiting for Eric & Danielle to make their move.
Gordon: We shall see -- just as we shall see if we have any mail. Do we?
Chico: Yep, from our good friend Bobby McBride. Thanks, Bobby!

Jason: Every game has cycles. We had an 0 for 5 in the bonus round.
Chico: 0 for 6.
Jason: True.
Chico: It was the beginning of this week. But you know, all great games have their spring doldrums before someone lights up again.
Jason: It happens to the best of them.
Chico: It's not that this season wasn't bad, because, as Bill McDonald once said, even bad Jeopardy! is better than no Jeopardy!.
Gordon: True - but I will say this. We haven't had anyone this year with both charisma and talent.
Jason: That I agree.
Chico: Yep. But once they do get someone, then watch out.
Gordon: Yep - Then the speculation will start anew
Chico: Just a matter of time. And speaking of time... we're out of it. Jason, thanks again for hanging out...
Jason: thank you
Gordon: And thanks to Ryan Vickers. For Chico and everyone at GSNN, this is Gordon Pepper, saying Game Over and...
Chico: Spread the love :-)
Jason: SPREAD THE LOVE.