Episode 20.12
March 30

Gordon: I'm waiting for it to be less sugary, myself.
Chico: It turns my milk a nice shade of sky blue.
Gordon: Is that before or after it turns sour after Saturday night?
Chico: In your dreams.
Gordon: Hey, you're the one with a magic hand.
Chico: Heheh... Welcome back to the show. It's game time on WLTI, and first up... we're dealing the cards for Higher-Lower. First up...

Lacey DeAngelo finally got her walking papers on Hell's Kitchen this week. The question... should she have been there for higher or lower than 7 weeks?

Gordon: If you base it on cooking skill, lower. But this isn't about cooking skill. This is FOX, and you have to be both talented and drama-filled. Drama is why Lacey left that late. And lack of said drama is why LA is going to leave around a month earlier than she should have,
Chico: She was drama-filled, but one could argue that she was a drama queen. I say she should've gone a week lower. But you have to commit to one answer, G.
Gordon: I think 1 week higher, just to see if Gordon Ramsay would have put her back with the women to see what the team is made of.
Chico: I doubt it.
Gordon: Next one...

We've seen a number of Repeat offenders on Trivial Pursuit. Are we getting any more? Higher or lower than...3.

Chico: Higher. It's a nice little game for big gamers.
Gordon: There's also no other show left for the big guys to be on. I'll go higher as well.
Chico: Okay, next...

5th Grader syndicated is GO for fall. The question.. how well does it do? Go higher or lower than 1.5.

Gordon: Lower. Just keeping with the curve.
Chico: I think it might tick a tenth higher, but I'm being optimistic. It's a solid game, and it lends itself well to half an hour.
Gordon: It does, but if it's the afternoon syndication hour, that's all it's going to get. It really depends on placement, though if I'm the syndies, it's probably going right after Feud or replacing Trivial Pursuit.
Chico: Probably replacing TP.
Gordon: And if it goes there, it's not breaking a 2.
Chico: But maybe the stations will scatter the games all about.
Gordon: Why do that? The game shows sould be in a block.
Chico: I remember when MyRDC gave DOND a posh 6p slot, clearing the comedies to late night.
Gordon: Why do that? The game shows should be in a block.
Chico: Meanwhile, they still have Feud and whatever other game was on in the morning.
Chico: So yeah, you can scatter and still have a success story.
Gordon: In my afternoon, 2-3 TP:AP, 3-4 Feud, 4-5 DOND. That's a good sized block.
Chico: It's going to be interesting.
Gordon: Sure is. Next one...

UFC US Vs. UK. We have 2 weight classes and 4 fighters going to the Finale. # of US fighters in the finals. Higher or lower than...2?

Chico: Higher. It's American fighters on the American stage. There's going to be pride on the line.
Gordon: I have to go lower. The UK fighters are vicious and their coach is going to be Michael Bisping, who has already won an Ultimate Fighter title. I think if the US fighters get as rowdy and dumb as they usually are, they are going to get shelled by the more mature, hungrier Brits.
Chico: I think rowdiness and idiocy knows no boundaries, but that's just me.
Gordon: We'll see if it travels through borders. Next one?
Chico: Next up...

DEAL OR NO DEAL RETURNS TO PRIMETIME IN MAY (If anyone asks, you heard it here first) The question... how many people watch it? Higher or Lower than... 6 million?

Gordon: Higher. The show rarely dipped under 6 million, and if they stunt it, they will get the numbers. This is assuming they use it as a highlighter, and not as fodder against Idol or DWTS...
Chico: Well... Before you commit to that number...It's on opposite DWTS.
Gordon: Lower.
Chico: Lower sounds about right. Sorry, ladies.
Gordon: Absence is not going to make the heart grow fonder against DWTS, which is very hot.
Chico: Especially given that this season is probably the most buzzworthy. So... Close, but not quite, Deal or No Deal. They're going to need another Million Dollar Mission just to keep it close.
Gordon: And I think that's not going to be enough. Way to kill off a cash cow, NBC. I truly think if they kept it normal with little stunts, it would still be on the air.
Chico: You suck. Get out. Finally?
Gordon: Last one...

$500,000 winners on Deal or No Deal. Higher or lower than...1.

Chico: Lower. Sorry.
Gordon: I don't see it either. Lower.
Chico: It just... nothing against the players, but I don't see anyone going all the way.
Gordon: When you get people like teachers or firefighters or college students who come from a relatively modest income, no ones going to pull the trigger and go all the way.
Chico: Exactly.
Gordon: Even when there's been 2 big cases left, we've seen people Deal way too early. And I don't see people getting that adventurous during a depression.
Chico: Nope. Okay, that's a nice Higher-Lower round. Coming up next... We play act for fun and profit. But first...We have a Brainvision Break.

(window breaking)

Chico: You know about Dragon's Den, right? On BBC America?
Gordon: Yes
Chico: You know about Shark Tank, the US version Mark Burnett's trying to shop?
Gordon: I dio indeed. Perfect show for FOX, if you ask me.
Chico: Would you say it was perfect for ABC?
Gordon: I think it would also be good for ABC
Chico: ABC picks it up for 7 episodes to air next season.
Gordon: Depending on where they put it.
Chico: It'll probably straddle between DWTS seasons.
Gordon: I can see that happening. Not a bad idea at all.
Chico: Alrighty. That's a break. We'll see you after another one.

(Sponsored by Amazing Race: NYC Recession Edition. The teams have to run from place to place - and we mean run, because they can't afford any other mode of transportation. )

Chico: It's true.
Gordon: Is there a North Carolina version of the show lining up?
Chico: Yea. It basically involves going from the mountains to the Outer Banks. It involves a two hour car ride, a three-hour train ride, and a hike up the Appalachian trail. It's not as easy as you think.
Gordon: You can afford gas up there?
Chico: I can afford like... half a tank. Enough for the car ride.
Gordon: But I see you can afford heads on sticks.
Chico: Oh yeah. Those are cheap. Let's play Roleplay
Gordon: Let's play. Chico, You are...Ashlee SImpson.
Chico: ... Wentz. :-)

Apparently, American Idol is now using back-up tracks on the results show. Does this mean we get to see you make an appearance?

Chico: *mouths something*.
Gordon: Mmmhmm.
Chico: *with mouth closed* Gee, I hope so! I need the work!
Gordon: Is Jessica joining you?
Chico: I don't know... I really hope she isn't. I'm trying to escape all of her shadow and what not. This should be a showcase for... a showcase for... a showcase for.... a showcase for... *hits tape deck*...a showcase for MY talent, not my sisters.
Gordon: ...I'll send Milli and Vanilli up with the contract. So Chico, who am I?
Chico: Gordon, you are... Kathy Kinney...

You're about to reprise your role as Mimi Bobeck on TPIR to celebrate April Fool's Day. What are you planning up your multi-colored sleeve?

Gordon: Just a simple plan. I'm planning on becoming the new host. The problem here is that people may think it's real and I may do a better job.
Chico: And that doesn't worry you a bit.
Gordon: Hell no. I need work. I'll take Drew's job. Drew is better at writing. We all know that I was the star of the Drew Carey show.
Chico: Oh yeah.. Never mind that tall dude that was on Whose Line.. you were the bomb diggity. Okay, Gordon. Who am I?
Gordon: Chico. you are...Marco White.
Chico: *mumbles*

Your show has bombed. No one knows who you are (only your protege Gordon Ramsay) and a bunch of bald people in the chef business (Tom Collichio and Top Chef winner Hosea, for starters) are much more popular than you. What's going through your mind?

Chico: Maybe Mario Batali needs a gopher or something...Naah, I'm just going to shrivel up back to the UK and concentrate on what works. That being.. Hell's Kitchen. I think I'll just stick with that.
Gordon: First Ant and Dec, now you. What's going on with you big wig UK people who can't do diddley poo on the states?
Chico: Of course when I found out that I wasn't doing Hell's Kitchen in the state... more like Hell's Kitchen lite... I kinda shrugged it off you know? *rambles off and on, punctuated by an occasional profanity fit* LAG OFF YA BUGGER!
Gordon: Ok. While you're off rambling...Who am I?
Chico: Okay, Gordon... You are... Aaron Schroeder.

You were pretty much locked out of the big money in the TOC. But what did you think about the two people you were playing against?

Gordon: People? I wasn't playing against people.

Fine. Soulless automatons bent on taking over the world through trivia.

Gordon: That's better. I was playing against 2 cyberbots. I thought that they were going to disintegrate me if I got any questions right.
Chico: But you weren't scared.
Gordon: Deep down inside, my stomach was in a fetal infant position. And Alex Trebek - I swear he doesn't have any white in his eyes. It was all black...(shivers)
Chico: It's okay, man.. let it out. Let it all out.
Gordon: I felt like I was the only organic being there. So I was glad to talk out with me being intact and not assimilated (tucks antenna back under shirt) oops. You weren't supposed to see that.
Chico: ... Okay, next?
Gordon: Next one...Chico...you are...Kenley Collins' cat.
Chico: Mrow?

Kenley says that she didn't throw you. The BF says she did. What's the real story here?

Chico: I fear for my life in that house. That's your real story.
Gordon: Did you go flying?
Chico: I have to say so. I have the marks to prove it.
Gordon: So what's going to happen to you now? Are you staying with Kenley?
Chico: I hope not... There's only one thing that scares me more than her... Bob Barker. Trying to fix me himself. Just imagine it.
Gordon: ...meowch.
Chico: And finally. Gordon...You are the head of scheduling for Fox.
Gordon: Oh goody.

In one word.. describe the bind that AI puts you in every time Paula goes off book, Simon and her get in a judge fight, or something else happens that causes the show to run over.

Gordon: More overrun means more money for FOX and me (I'm invoking the Kara DioGuardi excessive words clause)
Chico: To the hilt, I might add.
Gordon: Hey if she can say in 6 words and then use 8, I can be excessive, too. This is FOX, after all.
Chico: Okay, so what happens when affiliates start to complain?
Gordon: The affiliates aren't complaining. Would they be complaining that their news is getting a ratings boost from the #1 show in America? I dont think so.
Chico: Just sayin' is all. I mean, they have to start their local news sometime.
Gordon: Really? I bet if you asked the affiliates to choose between news and an extra hour of idol. they'd take the extra hour.
Chico: But let's just say they start to complain.
Gordon: Not a chance. The public may complain, but they come back every week, so who cares about them. I can put Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell in Greek togas and have them revive scenes from Caligula and people would still watch.
Chico: And on that bombshell, we're going to go to break.
Gordon: Break time next!

(Brought to you by the Money Train... Think you can survive a long trip through the country for money and profit?)

Gordon: Sounds fun. I don't think I'd want to be thrown off of it in mid-travel however.
Chico: Especially on a bridge. That would be bad.
Gordon: Real bad, but the Speed Round is real good...NOW! Idol - who's next?
Chico: Megan and Scott need to perform and they need to do it quickly
Gordon: Add Matt into it and Kris, too. DWTS. Will the Steves survive another week?
Chico: One will not.
Gordon: I think they don't if they fall in the bottom 2. I dont think either of them will, though. Amazing Race - who's next?
Chico: Hmm... Tough choice. I think next leg is an Non-Elimination Lap. But if someone has to go... it'll be the sisters.
Gordon: I agree with on-Elimination and sisters. Do we have any letters this week?
Chico: Nope. You?
Gordon: Nope. But if they want to send us mail, where does it go?
Chico: It goes to WLTI@gameshownewsnet.com or you can check us out on Facebook or Myspace.
Gordon: And that wraps up this show. A special thanks to...no one in particular, since it's just the 2 of us this week.
Chico: But we'll find a couple of friends to hang out with next week. Until then, for Gordon and everyone at Game Show Newsnet, I'm Chico Alexander... Game over... and spread the love :-)