"The Great White Shark Hunter: Days 16-18" - March 31
DAY 16: WE GOT TO PRAY JUST
TO MAKE IT TODAY
Nothing of deep significance ever happens to our tribe.
We make fire, we fish, we win Rewards, we lose Immunity, we vote
someone out begrudgingly... y'know, same old hack.
Now that it's down to three - Ibrehem, Bobby Jon and James - our
confidence at Camp Ulong is at an all-time low for this series.
Steph tries to keep hopes up, saying that maybe Koror will find
sympathy. Ibrehem feels they've become friends more than
tribemates now that it's down to a select few. And Bobby Jon is
glad that Steph stuck with him instead of James.
And what is Koror up to? Opening giant clams and SPEARING
SHARKS! I guess you can do that when you're beaten a defenseless
team within an inch of its life and feel ten feet tall about it!
Nothing ever happens to our tribe. :(
DAY 17 - REWARD CHALLENGE: HELP! WE NEED SOMEBODY!
Mean Uncle Jeff hopes someone gets their message in a
bottle in Stump-Mail:
lost in the wild
There's no one around
You find yourself thinking
You'll never be found
Use all your resources
'Cause, when push comes to shove
Build a signal on the beach
Should be seen from above
Then a plane will fly by
And within the next hour
If your signal's the best
We'll drop supplies to devour
So out your brains together
You can use only three
Creativity will reign victorious
Which tribe will it be?
Ah, the old "SOS" Challenge.
Stephenie suggests the Waco treatment: burn down the entire
camp! But Bobby Jon decides on a better plan: knock down the
piss-poor bathroom they have and use that and other wood to make
(At least MVP Tom won't play this time!)
DE PLANE!!! DE PLANE!!!
On board is Mean Uncle Jeff and his cousin Bob, a certified
"drop master". Bob's job is to judge which of the two signals is
most visible. We're first.... and we have set up a burning,
smoking "ULONG" set up. And we put our arms and palms in the air
and are waving them around as if there were no reprecussions.
Bobby Jon goes NUTS in waving. We don't hear that Bob says it's
big and visible... though could've been FURTHER up the beach and
away from the forest. All WE see is the plane flying away. We
hope the three chosen for Koror screws up... and that the fires
they make suck.
No such luck. Their "GOT FOOD?" message is creative and off the
beach. So we wait... and wait... and wait... and, as the plane
flies by again and doesn't drop a damn thing, we KNOW we just
lost Reward! We'll never know that the package had wine, MREs
and fishing equipment.
Nothing EVER happens to our tribe! *SIGH!*
At least we clam and a small fish to munch on until we
DAY 18 - IMMUNITY CHALLENGE: CAPTURE THE FLAG
Ho hum... more damned hate mail from dear Uncle Jeff.
Doesn't he EVER get bored of giving us more and more ways to
watch us lose?!?!?
way to lose this one
Is to be just plain lazy
If you don't think you need to
Well, then you're just crazy!
Keep your tribe together
Slide the pieces into place
If you don't heed this warning
be out of the race.
Hmmm... guess not. It's a
sliding puzzle deal... and we're given a practice puzzle. "We're
ready," says Steph. "We're full."
Full of WHAT, though.
Challenge Cove awaits us yet again. The Koror tribe brings in
their nine members (including the Immunity Idol) and lets Uncle
Jeff borrow it for a little while as they gaze at us sans James.
After talking about how fishing is going (and Koror bragging
about MVP Tom becoming the "Captain Flint" of Koror), we get to
The Challenge, as expected, is a floating sliding puzzle. One
person will be a spotter, the other two will move the pieces (be
it from above or below the water). The first tribe to make their
puzzle (without lifting the tiles up out of the water, gets
to... oh, c'mon, like we have a chance in HELL in a cerebral
Challenge against Koror? RIGHT!
With Bobby Jon as our spotter and Coby as theirs, we start the
Challenge. Coby has a plan and is utilizing it well. Bobby
Jon... not so much. Steph is directing more than BJ is. Coby is
doing very well... Bobby Jopn is sucking eggs.
After ten minutes, Bobby Jon has HAD it with Steph's constant
yaking and essentially says, "You think you can do better? YOU
get up here!" ANd she does, trading places with him. This is
EXACTLY what we need as Steph starts to hustle. Koror starts to
slow down, thanks to Janu the high-kicker. We're getting closer
It's been 75 minutes now and we and Koror are BOTH close to
finishing the puzzle. But Koror, unfortunately, is closer. Two
tile moves later... and, for the first time ever in Survivor
history, one tribe has won EACH and EVERY Immunity Challenge
pre-merge! (That's assuming, of course, that the merge happens
after the next Tribal Council.)
AFTERNOON 18: SAME OLD STORY, SAME OLD SONG AND DANCE
Much like me, Ulong is getting SICK and @#$%ing TIRED
of losing!!! This is, by and far, the worst-case scenario EVER!
Bobby Jon is confused as to whom to pick, since he wants BOTH
Ibrehem and Steph to go far in this game while wanting to go far
The boys canoe out to "fish" and to plot... and Steph thinks
she's dead meat because she's the outcast amid the tribe of male
Alabamans. She confronts Bobby Jon about it, and he admits that
he's still flip-flopping about who to vote out. This doesn't sit
well with Steph in the least. She is NOT about to go out without
a fight... and tries to talk Ibrehem into her AND him voting for
the John Kerry impersonator. Ibrehem says he and Steph don't see
eye-to-eye. It looks like ANYTHING can happen at...
TRIBAL COUNCIL: HERE WE GO AGAIN!
Mean Uncle Jeff doesn't mince words with us as we enter the
Ulong Memorial Supply Dump o' Doom... and apologizes. Not for
anything HE'S done to us but for his scratchy throat and voice.
Bobby Jon says they all agreed that he were the 'eyes' for
today's Challenge and that he screwed up BIG time. Steph is
frustrated as all hell. Bobby Jon says this just isn't fun and
how fast they became so close. but she's confident that her hard
work will pull her through.
Why would Bobby Jon vote Steph? She can go all the way. Ibrehem
is very loyal and is very honest. Steph will vote on how it'll
help her in the long run...and is 90% worried for herself. Bobby
Jon thinks just as vulnerable, he says.
It is time to vote one more time. Steph, Ibrehem and Bobby Jon
march that all too familiar road to the alcove and scratch down
names. Will it be a third straight tie?
Mean Uncle Jeff tallies the votes and reads them:
After hugs, the first-ever Muslim contestant gets his torch
snuffed and he departs.
Uncle Jeff says there's good news. We think it's a clue that a
merge will take place real soon. But it's only that Bobby Jon
and Steph STILL believe themselves a tribe... even though
they've been "decimated". Gee... fat lot of good THAT does us!
(Wolviegram: Mark my words, Chico; if Ulong is disintegrated in
the next two shows, you're doing the rest of these recaps solo,