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Semifinals 4 - August 7

Gordon: If you are watching the most powerful, compelling exciting show right now, chances are...you're not watching this show
Don: lol
Gordon: But for those of us who have to watch this instead of Power of 10, like myself (Gordon Pepper) and Don Harpwood, here's your America's Got Talent Recap. The theme this week - Heroes, which means that we have to listen to all of them saying who their heroes are, making this extra saccharine.
Don: Ugh.
Gordon: We have 10 acts - but only 8 of them will be here performing this evening. 2 of them are leaving. Doing this Nashville Star-Style, the first performer to perform will be...Robert Hatcher! Robert is crying from the family's love and support, and he dedicates his performance to them. AwwwwBarf.
Don: He has a few backup singers on the stage this time.
Gordon: The question is...is he actually going to sing a song sung by a man? He now is going to sing 'Let's Stay Together', and since that song was made famous by Tina Turner, the answer is...no.
Don: *Hits head on desk*
Gordon: And Tina would never sing it that badly out of tune and flat. X.
Don: X
Gordon: This is borderline painful
Don: *Switches to Power of 10 for the rest of the performance*
Gordon: David thought he was terrific and apparently he stuffed his ears full of cheeseburger. Sharon wants to see him raise the bar and adds that she wants more oomph. Piers thought it was very good. Do they saute the food in vodka before serving it to the judges?
Don: Possibly.
Gordon: And I can see me on The Power of 10. The next person to be safe is....Julienne Irwin! I'm shocked! I'm completely...ok, no Im not. Julienne hopes to redeem herself. I'm not nuts about her starting key, but she pulls out the song with her amazing tone. Definitely not as good as last time, though she selected a song that she could handle. She also handled the song much better than what Robert did.
Don: I thought she did great with that one.
Gordon: Sharon wants her to be upbeat and sing younger next week. David liked the song. Piers thinks that she won't be here next week, adding that her voice is not mature enough yet to win the competition. And because Piers has said it, that will pretty much assure Julienne will make it to the round of 4.
Don: Indeed.
Gordon: The third person up is...Terry Fator!
Don: Whoo!
Gordon: Again, not a surprise. Terry is going to do this for his sister, who has rheumatoid arthritis. Terry is going to do a medley of songs (including That's Amore and I left My Heart in San Francisco) with a Dean Martin puppet. If Julienne's song was old, then this is Grandma Moses. Piers thinks that he sings better than most of the singers in the competition. David and Sharon are floored.
Don: I am certainly impressed by how well he has been doing!
Gordon: I think we have found our first lock to advance, though I am not thrilled with the choice of song. As we have seen in American Idol this year, who usually votes in this show?
Don: Those in their teens?
Gordon: The younguns, yes. Thats why I think Julienne is in. That's why Im a little concerned about Terry if he continues to go really old on us. Next up is...Cas Haley!
Don: Nice!
Gordon: Cas says that this week, song selection is crucial. He's going to sing 'Easy' to honor his parents, who are heroes to him.
Don: Ah, more backup singers.
Gordon: We get the Calypso reggae version of 'Easy' I like the arrangement of this song.
Don: Same here. It sounds great!
Gordon: Piers says that he can win - but he wasn't blown away. I liked it...but I didn't love it. I'm also wondering if he can do anything else besides reggae. Next up...Jason Pritchett?
Don: Wha?
Gordon: Apparently, there's a lot of Carnival Cruise people who like to hear him sing. He sings 'If Tomorrow Never Comes' Piers hopes that the next lyric never comes as he X's him. Ironically, I think that this is the best that I've heard him. Not that it's saying much
Don: Yipes.
Gordon: David calls Piers a wanker, adding that it threw Jason for a second, but he did his grandpa proud. Sharon loved it until he got Xed. Piers says that he's not more that a cruise ship singer. Jerry gives Jason permission to throw Piers overboard.
Don: lol
Gordon: Artist #6 is....The Glamazns!
Don: Good choice.
Gordon: They sing 'Its Raining Men' for her mom. I hate o say this, but bad choice of snog, and the vocals are not tight this time. X But they incorporate 4 half naked guys, so David was happy. Wha?
Don: Um, okay... X
Gordon: Sharon agreed with me on the start, but she thought they pulled it together. Piers says that they are not great singers, but pased on sex appeal and on fun, they should be going to the finals. That's as much of a half-hearted ok as you're going to get. 4 acts left. 2 places in the show. Just to remind you, we have Butterscotch, Calypso Tumblers, Duttons and Sideswipe. Next up....Butterscotch!
Don: Cool!
Gordon: She looks visibly relieved. I would not have been a happy camper if she left now. Butterscotch will be performing 'My Funny Valentine' for her deceased grandparents. She's got the piano, singing, and beat boxing all together. Is it just me, or is she looking like Alicia Keys?
Don: She does bear a resemblance...
Gordon: And so does the vocals. Wow. She gets a standing ovation and she cries at the mike. That's a lock for the finals.
Don: I agree. That was awesome.
Gordon: Amazing, Even Piers calls it a beautiful and perfect performance. David and Sharon loved it, with David calling her a star. That may have severely damaged Julienne Irwin's chances, as they may have the same voting base.
Don: I agree.
Gordon: We have 3 acts left - SideSwipe, Calypso Tumblers and Duttons.
One of them will be the last act of the evening. The other two gave their last performance 7 days ago. Don, who is performing?
Don: I'd guess the Calypso Tumblers.
Gordon: I'm gonna say SideSwipe.
Don: Ok.
Gordon: Last act is...Side Swipe! Yes, I am studly. Thank you.
Don: Hey, that's fine with me. As long as Celtic Spring 2007 is gone...
Gordon: We see the funeral videos of Celti...I mean The Duttons and the Tumblers.
Don: So how come they are out?
Gordon: I think the Tumblers are out because they didn't elevate their game. The Duttons are out because they attempted to raise their game and it turned into a mess. Back to SideSwipe, who dedicate this performance to Sensei Sharkey, the person who taught them the martial arts.
Don: They've gone with a pirate theme tonight.
Gordon: Didn't they know that CBS got rid of Pirate Master?
Don: And they have weapons!
Gordon: Meanwhile, they send the scantily-clad woman, who was dancing with them, to the judges. Heh.
Gordon: David said that Piers did them a big favor and really raised the bar. Sharon said that they made it theatrical and took it to another level. Piers says that they turned it from a sport to entertainment and that's exactly what he wanted to see. It was electrifying.
Gordon: The guy could have thanked Piers, but he just says that its a part of what they do. Oh dude, where's your humility? X So who does make it?
Don: Julienne, Butterscotch, Cas, and... I'm actually thinking SideSwipe will make it. Just my intuition.
Gordon: Im going to go with Cas Haley, Terry Fator, Butterscotch and SideSwipe. Any last words?
Don: I'll be looking forward to next week.
Gordon: Me too, because the artists finally raised the bar. For the Donut, this is the Pepper, wishing you all a pleasant Game Over

 

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