Semifinals 2 - August 2
Gordon: Last week, we had ten of the...most
eclectic performances. We have 10 more acts, and the results of last week will
be revealed. The 10 Acts are Second Story Guys, Southern Girl, Popovich Puppy
Theater, Cas Haley, Terry Fater, The Fault Line, Man-Kira, Jason Pritchett, The
Calypso Tumblers and The Duttons.
Don: If the bucket is ready, then I'm ready.
Gordon: And Eric, just to inform you, we do have the Fear Factor Barf Bucket
here, in case you desire its use.
Eric: It's nice that we can get the bucket a little bit of work now that FF is
off the air.
Gordon: While we get the introductory spiel, I will introduce us. I am Gordon
Pepper, alongside Don Harpwood...
Gordon: Eric Pierce, Josh Halbur, and in the words of David Hasselhoff, a guy
and a girl in the same body.
Josh: Hi everyones! 2nd Story Guys rock my socks off.
Eric: Hell out there in TV land
Gordon: Notice he said hell, and not hello
Eric: Yes, that was specifically for tonight, because I am worried that this
will not be a beautiful place to be. This will the the first time this season I
have watched AGT in real time without the ability to Fast Forward.
Gordon: First up - the Second Story Guys. Dancing guys in stilts.
Eric: It's amazing the technological advances that stilts have gone through in
the past couple of years. And now to the music of Gloria Estefan...
Gordon: We actually have headstands with stilts, which I thought was cool. They
also add some of the tricks we saw in the first 2 rounds.
Don: The fact that they're able to do all that on stilts amazes me.
Eric: The flips may have been old hat, but you really can't get tired of stunt
Gordon: I thought it was very good. I don't know if it is worth a million, but
they did step it up and that could get them to the finals.
Eric: They have a solid shot to get in, but I can't see them taking it all. Can
anyone here see a non-music act winning the whole thing?
Gordon: I think so because 1. There are 3 non-music acts that have potential to
do it and 2. None of the singing acts have been spectacular.
Don: I think Sideswipe from last week, provided they make it through to the
finals, could do it.
Gordon: They can, but they have to do something better in the finals.
Eric: I'll agree, the music acts aren't as strong as last year. There is no
Bianca Ryan to be found here.
Gordon: There are two acts that we haven't seen much of yet. We see the first
group now - Southern Girl.
Eric: They beg to answer the question: Do we need a new Destiny's Child?
Gordon: Not if they aren't in tune. And there's no excuse to be out of tune on a
standard. This is painful to listen to. I'm going into the kitchen and making
some Cannelini beans. X
Don: I'm just starting to hear it now, and I hear what you mean... X
Eric: They were definitely in and out. Great when they were on, but I think that
they are from the wrong decade... A blast from the past. They really should try
to modernize a bit.
Gordon: They say they are a group and they all sing lead. Sorry, you need
someone to hit the lead vocals and to carry the song. Piers and Sharon were
right to call them out. Next up - the Popvich Pet Theater. We get a wintry
scene, with a cat climbing the light, a dog coming out of a garbage can to steal
food...the cat coming to stroll the dog away (with an X from Piers) and we get
some magic with the guy extracting some ferrets from a fur coat.
Eric: That was just weird...
Gordon: Piers says that it was awful, because he wanted more energy from the
pets and less from the humans. I liked what Popvich was doing, but I agree with
Piers and Sharon again. More animals needed. Great idea. Lacking on the
Don: I'm not sure what to say... I agree with Eric that that was weird.
Gordon: Josh, what is more painful - watching National Bingo Night or watching
Josh: Hmmm...That's quite a conundrum you have posed there, Gordon.
Gordon: The correct answer is watching Set For Life :)
Josh: So shoot me, but I actually enjoyed myself for most of that show.
Eric: Wow, and just when I thought a show couldn't get dumber than Deal or No
Gordon: (Ready to Shoot Josh) Hopefully, Cas Haley, who sings 'Higher and
Higher', will be the first good musical act of the evening.
Josh: Judging him so far, I'd say he's beaten Southern Girls by almost a mile.
Gordon: Definitely the best musician of the night. Maybe the best musical talent
Don: Oh yeah, this is cool!
Josh: Cas is no ferret running around the stage!
Eric: Absolutely agree. He also beat over half of last season's Idol
Gordon: Well, that's not saying much
Eric: I like to make safe statements.
Gordon: Piers says the best music act, Sharon says see you at the final, David
says that it was awesome.
Eric: I'll say it right now. It will be a travesty if he doesn't make the
Don: I can bet that he'll definitely be advancing to the finals.
Gordon: And we now see Baby Cas. X
Josh: You're X'ing the baby? Come on! lol
Gordon: Apparently, Josh hasn't read the earlier recaps when I X'ed the Dutton's
baby. And I'm more than ready to do it again, if I see a baby Dutton...which I'm
pretty sure I will. Cas tells the baby to follow his dreams. AwwwwBarf. X.
Josh: I was all in favor of X'ing unnecessary Duttons, actually.
Gordon: Next up, one of Josh's faves - Terry Fater.
Josh: Yes he is! Go Terry!
Gordon: Terry says that after 20 years of waiting, he hasn't been ready for
anything more in his own life.
Eric: Can a puppet win a million dollars??
Gordon: We have 'What a Wonderful World' with Winston the turtle
Eric: I love the turtle!!
Gordon: The turtle does an impression of Jim Henson
Josh: A turtle that sounds like Kermit? My head hurts...
Eric: He swallowed Jim Henson!!
Gordon: And now an impression of the 'real' original singer of the song.
Josh: NOT by the turtle, might we add.
Gordon: No., not by the turtle. Perfect song choice.
Eric: This guy is ready to start the next children's show on PBS.
Josh: He's still got a decent shot no matter what Piers says.
Gordon: He is. He's very diverse. Piers calls him one of the favorites. I agree
and call him a lock for the finals
Josh: I'm "set" on Terry...lol
Gordon: David recants everything he says badly about ventriloquists, calling him
a great act
Don: Sounds great. I can't wait to see what he comes up with next!
Eric: The Turtle might even make a good match game panelist, can he do a dragon?
Gordon: I'm going to give Ronn Lucas and Scorch your email address if you keep
that up, Josh.
Gordon: Next up - Chico's favorite - The Fault Line. The Fault Line sing 'The
Way You Make Me Feel'. I hope that Southern Girl are watching this and seeing
that THAT'S how you do a group song.
Eric: Other than the Seth Green look-a-like, this is another "signed contract"
Gordon: The only thing that I didn't like - the choice of song. Piers agrees
with me. If they get in, it will be because of their talent and despite the
song. The Hoff liked the last performance better and so do I.
Eric: Piers is accurate strategically. They already have the cute girl vote.
They need to stretch for others.
Don: The Fault Line sounds cool, despite the song choice.
Gordon: I think the Fault Line also hurt themselves with the lead singer saying
that they didn't do their best song. Hey gang...it could be your last song. You
better bring out the A game every time.
Josh: The "cute girl vote" meaning Man-Kira? :D
Eric: bucket, please
Gordon: (passes Eric the bucket)
Eric: (bucket returned full)
Gordon: (bucket emptied out)
Josh: Speak of the devil...S/he's up next!
Eric: bucket, please
Gordon: (passes Eric the bucket again)
Eric: (bucket returned full again)
Gordon: (bucket emptied out again)
Gordon: is Man-kira dressed like...Britney?
Don: I'm about to feel sick...
Gordon: (passes Don the Bucket)
Don: *Gets a glimpse of the outfit; throws up in the bucket*
Gordon: (takes the bucket back from Don and sanitizes it).
Eric: Puke aside, this is another case of Shakira, Nikki McKibbin, Carmen
Rasmussen or anyone else who just doesn't belong. They took someone else's slot.
Gordon: Do you need the bucket, Josh?
Gordon: (passes Josh the bucket)
Josh: (sits on bucket) To you, Man-Kira!
Gordon: (grabs the bucket back)
Josh: (falls on the floor) Ow!
Gordon: Oh. My. God. It's Man-Spears!
Gordon: X me Baby one more time. X
Eric: The question being begged: Who's a better performer right now, Boy Shakira
or the M&Ms (comeback Britney)?
Eric: Oh, and XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!
Gordon: So explain to me how we leave out the Redneck Tenors and get....this.
Eric: I'd be ornery like them too.
Don: I want to know how they got Britney's music, and not Shakira's in the
Gordon: Piers calls him/her/it a guilty pleasure. Sharon loves Boy Britney.
David finally X's him.
Eric: Thank you Hoff!!!
Gordon: David calls everyone on medication and pleads with him to come back as
Boy Piers if he comes back.
Josh: It's either A) the producer's decision to create unnecessary drama in a
serious competition or 2) Piers' decision to make more "variety" of the acts
Eric: A little of column A... A little of column B
Gordon: 3. The producers insistence that Chico finally finds his long lost
Josh: Would you rather have 13 music acts versus 7 "etc." acts?
Eric: No, I rather there only be about 5 music acts, but better variety acts.
Gordon: Id rather have the top 20 acts, regardless of what they are.
Eric: too much music makes this like Idol, Nashville Star, or Rock Star.
Gordon: Anyone need the bucket?
Don: I'll just head to the bathroom.
Gordon: Ok. but surely they could find a non-music act better than THAT.
Eric: Gotta miss the days of Star Search...McMahon version of course.
Gordon: So why is Cocoa Brown the comedienne out and Chun-Li-in-drag in?
Eric: Don't insult Street Fighter.
Josh: What about that Urban Action Figure dude?
Gordon: Well, he nearly decapitated himself in the call-backs
Eric: Yeah, pretty scary
Gordon: I was waiting for Man-Spears to do lightning kick
Eric: it really did look like part of the act aside from the trampoline slipping
Gordon: Next up - Lounge singer Jason Pritchett. He sings country with a guitar.
He sings on a cruise line. He can dress up like Britn....ok, he can't do that.
Jason performs 'Life is a Highway'.
Josh: Jason just got hit by something on that highway...
Gordon: In this step of the competition, you not only have to sing a great song,
you have to get the lyrics right. Jason does neither. X.
Don: Sounds underwhelming to me. X
Josh: I think his future on this show is grim.
Eric: Agreed, he didn't win points by missing his final judgment either
Gordon: Piers doesn't like that style and preferred what he did before, Sharon
likes his confidence and David agrees with both. I agree with the Hoff. What
happened to the guitar? Jason wanted to bring a rock song to the crowd. Horrible
decision, if not only because Cas did a rock song, and he wiped Jason off the
floor with it.
Josh: Coming up...something for tha ladies...
Eric: Boy Britney's performing again?
Gordon: Do you mean a bunch of cool looking tumblers, or did you mean a bunch of
half naked men?
Josh: For the ladies, I'm pretty sure they won't be caring about their
Gordon: The tumblers started as street artists, and they are now here.
Eric: Flexibility like that should be illegal
Gordon: They are doing a lot of dancing, and some flexibility, but...not much
Eric: Agreed, not enough flip and tricks.
Gordon: I'm agreeing with Piers here, and the fact that they didn't get much
screen time means that most of the audience have no idea what stuff they do.
Don: There were some neat tricks, but yeah, not enough of 'em.
Gordon: Though the guy with his legs behind his head and being lifted on his
arms was sick.
Josh: You think the tumblers-and-such will get enough votes to save them after
Gordon: Honestly? no.
Josh: Just get to the results already...I want to see if my Butterscotch is in!
Gordon: Last week, me and Donut predicted the following would be in the Top 5 -
Julienne Irwin, Johnny Come Lately, Butterscotch,
Josh: I had all those
except for JCL--I put Robert Hatcher.
Gordon: Finally....we have The Duttons, from Branson, MO
Josh: JCL has lost their charm for me. They just don't have that
bright-eyed energy since their auditions.
Josh: But onto them Duttons!
Eric: If the baby starts playing the fiddle, I vote Duttons!
Gordon: And we get...La Bamba?
Eric: Make him stop
Don: Oh, geez... X
Gordon: La Bamba, Violins, Duttons, Drums, Harmonica, and Baby. I am severely
Josh: Who's vote are they trying to get this week?
Eric: Ok, bad Spanish puts it over the top X
Gordon: That was just a mess.
Eric: can you say bad wedding band?
Gordon: (Hands Josh the Bucket)
Josh: Do you have another bucket? This may be a two-filler...
Gordon: At least they didn't have any kiddy Duttons. Sharon says 'Less is More',
while Piers thought it was a mess and David thinks they are going through.
Josh: Last week was a crunch to get to a top 5. This week I'm having trouble
Gordon: Here's My Top 5...And this isn't based on who I thought was the best.
This is who I think the audience will vote through...My 5: Cas Haley, Terry
Fater, 2nd Story Guys, The Duttons, and...MAN SPEARS!
Josh: I can't wait till he does Boy Cher...what redundancy that would be... jk
Don: I think the 2nd Story Guys, Cas Haley, and Terry Fator are a lock. Of the
other 7, I thought the Fault Line and the Calypso Tumblers were the least
underwhelming. So there's my top 5.
Josh: I agree with all 5
Eric: Gordon, I agree with your list but I think Fault Line replaces the Duttons
Josh: Those would've been mine.
Gordon: I'm basing that on the fact that Celtic Spring got to the Top 5.
Josh: Celtic Spring was a representation of tots to tweens, though. Duttons are
just twenty- and thirty-something siblings making music. Except when they bring
out the world's tiniest violin and the world's tiniest violin player.
Gordon: I can see Southern Girl sneaking past The Duttons and The Fault Line.
Josh: I actually think you may be right on, there.
Gordon: But I think, that MAN-SPEARS gets in.
Eric: And that merits a bucket for America...
Don: I'll need another trip to the bathroom if that happens.
Eric: I'll need a bucket if Kashif is in...
Josh: I actually put Kashif at a close 6th.
Gordon: Put him in a close 60th
Eric: Doesn't mean that he should even be in the semis
Josh: I've taken somewhat of a liking to Kashif, but he surely won't survive.
Gordon: In no order, the first act is...Julienne Irwin!
Gordon: She's shocked. I doubt anyone else is
Josh: I knew that one was coming...will we see a repeat of last year?
Gordon: Second one in is...Butterscotch
Eric: God this yelling is annoying.
Gordon: No surprises yet. Act #3....Glamazons!
Josh: Did someone just yell "No Deal"? lol
Gordon: 3 for 3 so far.
Eric: and it's all music so far
Gordon: Act #4....Robert Hatcher!
Gordon: Southern Girl may have a shot. 6 contestants. 1 singer left.
Josh: Side Swipe's the shoo-in. Just get it over with.
Eric: To win America's Got Talent you have to Sing, Sing, Sing
Gordon: The last act is...Side Swipe!
Eric: At least someone broke the music sweep
Gordon: OUT: Johnny Lonestar, Manuel Romero, Johnny Come Lately, Kevin James and
Kashif. Any surprises?
Eric: Not for me. As expected.
Josh: I don't really think so.
Gordon: I thought JCL could have snuck in, but their last performance didn't do
anyone any favors
Josh: And with that, I'm "randomly" going to find the nearest exit.
Gordon: Ook. I cast my ten votes for Man-Spears. I'm ready. Special thanks to
Don, Eric and Josh. This is Gordon, wishing everyone a pleasant Game Over and to
spread the love.