March 13, 2005

Gordon: Ok. We are back, and it's time for a little Accuracy or Idiocy. Then again, we've had a lot of idiocy on the show so far.
Joe: That seems to be normal.
Jason: We are a bunch of silly gooses.
Chico: That's a day at the office, dude. Anyways, I have seven items. You have to tell me whether they're accurate or.... not so much.
Jason: Bring it on.
Chico: If you're ready...
Joe: Make with it.

1) Top Chef is the new Hell's Kitchen, with Katie Lee Joel playing the role of Gordon Ramsay.

Gordon: Idiocy. I would think that it's more the Food Version of Project Runway. Katie Lee Joel is smarter than Gordon and the show is not only tighter, but much less staged than Hell's Kitchen
Chico: Yes... but you have to throw in the fact that she gave Morimoto NO love on ICA. NO LOVE! That doesn't take smarts... that takes balls..
Gordon: Yes, but she kept it real - and I admire people who keep it real.
Joe: A wise sentiment.
Chico: You like Randy Jackson, then :-) Which brings us to #2...

2) There are more characters than singers in the American Idol top 12.

Jason: Idiocy.
Chico: Elaborate.
Jason: Big Idiocy. This is the strongest 12 we have had. There are at least 4 or 5 singers in this competition who can win in at all. You have Mandisa, Paris Bennett, Katharine McPhee, Ace Young, Lisa Tucker.
Gordon: Mandisa - Singer, Paris - Character,: Lisa - SInger, Melissa - Singer and First person gone
Jason: Kevin Covais
Gordon: Katharine - Singer
Chico: Kellie Pickler - Character.
Gordon: Ace - Character, Elliott - Singer, Chris - Singer, Bucky - Character, Kevin - Character, Taylor - Singer. Singers edge out the characters, so idiocy.
Chico: But oh, the characters... We have the geek who got lucky....
Jason: Ace--who makes Constantine Maroulis look normal.
Joe: I can't STAND Ace.
Gordon: We do have characters, and we have characters who also sing, but I think there's more talent than personality.
Jason: Agreed.
Chico: Kellie, who has to go up on the social stratification levels to be a dip. And Bucky... What can we say about Bucky?
Gordon: Is Kellie Idol's version of Paris Hilton?
Chico: That's not hot. So we have two "idiocies"...
Joe: I predict that either Lisa or Katharine will win.
Gordon: I mean she has to be acting. No one who's a state pageant winner can be THAT vapid...can they?
Chico: Oh yeah. She's faking it hard.
Joe: Yes. They can. NEXT!

3) The success of Deal or No Deal has reopened the flood gates for traditional game shows in primetime.

Jason: Mild Accuracy
Joe: Accuracy. If done properly.
Chico: Please elaborate, gents.
Joe: I for one want to see how Game Show Marathon does. I'm going to see the first taping on Sunday the 19th at Television City.
Jason: If Deal or No Deal doesn't suffer the curse of Millionaire, we could have the return of Super Millionaire.
Gordon: It opens up the floodgates for good game shows with a nice plot and idea. The bad game shows will still get dusted.
Jason: But I do see Game shows coming back.
Chico: As if they ever left...
Jason: DoND is a way of doing game shows right.
Chico: You know game shows never leave, they just get put on the backburner...like sitcoms.
Jason: Lets Make a Deal in 2003 is how you do it wrong...way wrong.
Chico: So Deal... Good... Marathon... pending. But hope is up.
Joe: No doubt of that.
Chico: Next...

4) Top Model remains strong due to strict adherence to a formula.

Jason: Accuracy. I have only seen a few shows, but from what I have seen of it...you don't fix what's broke.
Gordon: Accuracy. You know what's coming. I also like the way that they keep the challenges new and fresh, which helps.
Joe: Idiocy. I for one cannot fathom how this show is still on the air.
Jason: Then why is it still on the air? Why is it the #1 show for UPN?
Joe: That's exactly my point. I cannot possibly tell you. I avoid it like the plague. It also is an indicator to me why it's getting merged with the WB.
Chico: Please expand.
Joe: As far as I'm concerned, it's nothing more than a bad AI ripoff.
Chico: Everything is a bad AI ripoff... even things that were on before AI were bad AI ripoffs. Hell, AI rips off itself from time to time, and then laughs about it :-)
Gordon: I don't see the comparison, to be honest.
Joe: That's because you're too busy ogling Tyra Banks. :-D
Gordon: I have no problems ogling Tyra =)
Jason: Its a good thing to ogle Tyra, thank you.
Chico: You say that like it's a bad thing :-)
Joe: It is if it blinds you to a dumb concept.
Chico: Alrighty.... next up...

5) CBS really screwed the pooch this season as far as The Amazing Race goes..

Jason: Accuracy. When they did the Family Edition, the show was over as far as I am concerned.
Gordon: Let's see - put the show on at 10pm and put the debut of it against Idol. Accuracy...yet, it's still first in it's time slot in that 18-49 demo
Chico: Well, first, the family edition (which in my book was just unneeded), and then the move to 10 on Tuesdays, both factors in its downfall this season... actually, downfall is too strong a word, but nevertheless, some of the luster is lost.
Gordon: The debut of a show is always the big part. If you don't catch the debut, you're not going to stay with the show, for the most part. Between the Debut and making Bertrand do a family edition, that's some serious pooch screwing.
Chico: That's what that explosion was...
Gordon: I think you heard the dog yelping in pain and limping off.
Chico: I didn't need THAT visual. Okay...

6) Skating with Celebrities is worthy of a second season.

Jason: Believe or not...Accuracy. It is a legitimate alternative to Dancing with the Stars and I think it's ok.
Joe: Idiocy. I tried to watch it, and just cringed the whole time at how far Scott Hamilton had fallen.
Jason: It's not Benny Hill, but what is?
Chico: I have to agree with Joe, but I can see where J would get that assessment.
Gordon: The question isn't whether it's going to get one - which unfortunately, it will. The question - is it worthy of one, and the answer is idiotic. Most of those segments, which was just the dancer skating and the celebrity twirling around and trying just not to fall was painful to see.
Chico: Yes. It really was. I mean. Aside from injury after injury, what else is there? Nothing.
Gordon: At least with Dancing With The Stars, the celebrities can use their creativity and make the dance fun, if not technically proficient.
Joe: Hell, I can't even watch Dancing with the Stars without cringing. And they have TOM BERGERON, dammit.
Chico: It's easy, dude... Just look at the women. :-)
Joe: Doesn't help, I'm sad to say.
Chico: Well, maybe this one will help.. Last one!

7) The Bachelor needs to die, already.

Joe: Accuracy.
Jason: ACCURACY...if only to save Julie Suchard's sanity.
Joe: ROFLMAO
Chico: That would have to preface that no one that writes for this site is sane to begin with!
Gordon: Sorry, kids. Idiocy. The Bachelor is still a viable piece of storytelling and it's still getting the ratings.
Jason: Sorry, it's the biggest piece of crap on the air and a dying breed of dating shows.
Chico: Actually... It averaged third in its slot.
Joe: The password is...lame. *ding!*
Gordon: This past season sees the ratings moving up as they get back to what works - a sense of fantasy. I think that they need to tape the show closer to airing or allow the people to have a relationship between the taping and the airing.
Chico: ... It still Needs to die. :-)
Jason: There have been only two weddings and one was from Survivor? Come on. Two reality show weddings.
Joe: Sorry, Gordon. You're out numbered on this one.
Jason: And both of which were made for TV. I am a sucker for romance. Staged romance I am not.
Gordon: People love the weddings. The idea itself shouldn't die. It just needs to be retooled. The show may need an overhaul, but the idea itself should be renewed.
Chico: It was retooled twice.
Joe: I reiterate: poor Lacey Pemberton. What happened? Guys?
Chico: First the "New York" season... then the "Charlie O'Connell" anything goes martial arts season. Now Paris. Still nothing. What can I say except... well, what ELSE can I say?
Gordon: You can say that we'll be playing 5 good reasons after the break.
Chico: Okay!
Gordon: Well...say it!
Chico: "We'll be playing 5 Good Reasons.... after the break." How was that?
Joe: ROFLMAO

(Brought to you by Cagney and Lacey...Pemberton. In this episode, Lacey tries to uncover the mystery of how The Bachelor is going to get yet another season renewal, yet we STILL can't get Temptation to air anywhere.)

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE