Episode 25.14 - Holiday Two-for-One
December 13

Gordon: I've got the wrenches.
Chico: I got the plungers.
Jason: I have the washers. And the plumbers dope
Chico: Good night everybody. Welcome back to WLTI... it's still too early to shop for the 4th of July. just saying.
Gordon: No it's not. It's NEVER too early to go holiday shopping!
Chico: But nevermind that. We've got a lot of fireworks
Gordon: We do. And they go zing.
Jason: Boom.
Chico: It's What's My Zinger. We don't make the news, we make it fun.
Gordon: We do. And Chico starts it off.
Chico: Right on. First up...

Ratings are WAY up for "The Sing Off" in season 2.

Jason: People are desperate to see a talent competition without the Hot Guy in Guitar(tm) winning.
Chico: See, Nick Lachey? If you keep trying, maybe you'll actually become a REAL BOY!
Gordon: Inspired by Jerry Lawson, rumor has it that Justin Guarini and William Hung are going to make a new group called 'We can STILL beat Lee DeWyze'.
Jason: Gordon wins.
Chico: yep
Gordon: Next one...

Lindsay Lohan may...or may not...be on Dancing With the Stars

Jason: She misread the contract and thought it was POLE dancing with the Stars.
Chico: And in other not-really-news, Lindsay Lohan may or may not be sober as I read this.
Gordon: The songs she's trying to get are 'Tequila', 'Like a G-6' and any song by Yoko Ono which would drive any normal person to drink.
Chico: Poppin' bottles and the ice. Like a blizzard.
Gordon: OK Snizzard, give me the next one.
Chico: MMPR reference FTW.

Wheel of Fortune celebrates "Wheel Was Here" Week.

Jason: Next week, Wheel celebrates Bad Fashion Trends of the last 35 years.
Chico: To come: Best of Pat Sajak's crazy tweets week... Time Filler Between Jeopardy! and primetime week... and "We've Just Stopped Trying" Week.
Gordon: Next week: A Tribute to Mike Myers' The Love Guru.
Jason: LOL
Gordon: Next one...

This week, Joe Jonas was a celebrity judge on Top Chef All Stars

Jason: The problem was they put him at the kids table with the safety knives and forks.,
Chico: Let's see... Last year, Kevin on Minute to Win It. This year, Joe on Top Chef. Next year... Nick on RuPaul's Drag Race!
Gordon: They may need him to cook up some ratings.
Chico: Next one...

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader sinks 41% from last year.

Jason: The producers weren't smart when they balanced more celebs than real players...and more repeats than new shows.
Gordon: That's because all the Republicans were all too busy at the polls voting in Bristol Palin.
Jason: Ha.
Chico: Isn't this a case for Leave No Child Actor Behind?
Gordon: Oh yes. Tell that to the old crew
Chico: Ba Dum TISH.
Gordon: Finally...

You can go to CBS.com and enter Survivor through the web!

Chico: Because that worked so well for Jimmy T. ... too soon?
Jason: Make sure you are dressed when you do that...isn't that right Brendan?
Gordon: Brendan would be perfect for the show that's clothing-optional.
Chico: Ask Richard Hatch!
Jason: Or Heidi and Jenna, who went naked for Peanut Butter
Chico: One of them married a Cardinal. The other... married a champ. JUST. SAYING.
Gordon: And with that we go to break. Fun with percentages next!

(This is a public announcement by WLTI, reminding all denizens on Facebook that there really are pieces of information that the general public COULD LIVE WITHOUT KNOWING. And labeling your friends with numbers is usually outgrown in the second grade, once kids learned to identify people by pronouncing their names. Thank you.)

Jason: LOL
Chico: LIKE.
Gordon: Just saying. And I'm also saying we need some percentage love on this show.
Chico: Alright, start us off.
Gordon: We start with this...

Idol is making all these changes to their show. What is the % that it actually works and they stay the #1 show in the U.S.?

Chico: 15%. I mean, it's Idol, and by virtue of that, there's a chance that, holy Rich Sirop, all of these changes work and people will tune in regardless.
Jason: 0%. Dancing with the Stars is trending upward and Idol is on the way downwards. And these changes will smell of desperation and combined with the blogosphere who WANTS to see Idol gone, this will be an EPIC FAIL.
Gordon: 5% I'll give it some hope, but I think this could be the last dance.
Chico: Could be. Next...

As we said before, AYSTA5G is down 41% from last year. What's the percentage that it comes back for year 3?

Jason: Again 0%. They have blown the chance to make it past Season 2. People are turned off by celebs and repeats.
Gordon: 0.69%. It's now at midnight and you're not going to get ratings there.
Chico: Actually where I am, it's at 3:23p ET EXACTLY - And that's if Extreme Home Makeover doesn't run over.
Gordon: That's not going to help either.
Chico: Not against... Let's Make a Deal!
Gordon: Nope. Next one...

Neil Patrick Harris is hosting the Spike Video Game awards. What's the % that he'll be hosting a game show in 3 years?

Chico: I'll give it a 60% shot. He's a host in search of a show.
Jason: 75%. He is the "it" host at the moment. But overexposure now, might hurt him later on. But he is VERY good.
Gordon: 70% It's only a matter of time. Next one?
Chico: Next..

Skating with Celebrities. What are the percentages that Bethenny Frankel, dubbed an "ice queen" in many circles (and no, not in the good way), actually wins this thing?

Jason: 10%. Don't really care per se...but is anyone really good here?
Gordon: 40%. She's good on marks, but not an audience favorite. and a 75% bet on the side with the viewers saying 'Who Cares'?
Chico: 33% and 96.4% on the Who Cares Side Action.
Gordon: Next one...

Congratulations to one of our own - Lee DiGeorge and his newborn daughter, Zoey. What are the chances that she'll win more at a game show than daddy?

Chico: 85%. Provided the programming robots of the near future haven't cancelled all game shows and competition in favor of a marathon of people liviging in Wyoming.
Gordon: 90%. The offspring are always supposed to be smarter than the parents. :) Still love you, Lee.
Jason: Which is where I was going. Kids are supposed to be smarter and better than their parents. :) Congrats, Lee :)
Chico: And with that, we say hello to the newest member of the GSNN family. Awww. Finally...

What are the percentages of the worst reality competition EVER completing its run? IF you paid attention last week, you know what I'm talking about.

Jason: You know what....85%. E! has no shame.
Chico: Agreed. Ratings be damned, they're going to jam this up our collective urethras until we cry uncle. 90%. A very SAD 90%.
Gordon: 70% Bridalplasty is going to make it. Then Chico can audition for the groom's edition.
Chico: Umm... no
Gordon: Chico wants a new nose. Maybe a permanent hair glue so he can be eternally bald and sexy
Jason: OW! Bad image. Chico that hurts
Chico: It does. Go to break. NOW.

(Brought to you by American Kung Fu Heroes. The only obstacle course on television that takes place on a temple ground with a bunch of hooligans coming at you. Can you date to master the Miracle Kick and achieve total victory?)

Chico: Wow. Taking it all the way to the old school on that one.
Gordon: So is Jackie Chan or Jet Li hosting?
Chico: Jet Li.
Gordon: Does he host a speed round?
Chico: No, but we do! Survivor: Who wins this thing?
Jason: Dont know.
Gordon: We have one more show before then. I'll say Dan is toast. He can't make it to the finals.
Chico: Agreed. Dan be gone. Hell's Kitchen: who wins this thing? Russell or Nona?
Gordon: Russell
Chico: Agreed. Nona's been on radar for a while now. Russell's the stronger cook.
Jason: Russell sounds about right
Gordon: Amazing Race - Who wins?
Jason: I say Brook and Claire
Chico: Jill & Thomas.
Gordon: I'll go with Jill and Thomas. I'll also go with mail
Chico: So will I.
Gordon: We start with Bill Minovich. Thanks, Bill!

Chico: Thanks, Bill. I think this is the last civilian Apprentice we're going to see in a while, if ever.
Jason: Sounds about right. People are more attuned the Celeb Apprentice now. And Celeb Apprentice will have more of a watch factor after Bret in Season 3
Gordon: Not only that but the ratings were bad here. Hence the desire to not have a live 3 hour finale to wipe out the rest of programming with a low show.
Chico: Yep. I recall claymation Community and Christmas at the Office were better draws, and better made to boot.
Gordon: Yep. But the Celeb Apprentice is on notice - perform or go away. Next email?
Chico: Next... STAT BOY!

Jason: Sure. I'll allow it :)
Chico: And so will I. "Confusing" would've been a better fit.
Gordon: Same. Finally, we have an Email from Eddie Timanus.

Gordon: Hey Chico, would you like to say anything, since you said it last week?
Chico: I FAIL AT VINTAGE TELEVISION.
Gordon: (Hands Chico dunce cap)
Chico: *puts it on* Let's go to Facebook. We asked you what, if anything would you do about NaOnka Mixon and Kelly Shinn throwing up their arms and saying "Screw you guys, I'm going home." We got some of the best answers ever from the Facebook. Can I share a couple?
Gordon: Sure
Chico: One is from Don "The Doughnut" Harpwood...
Jason: Lets see it

BIG FACEBOOK QUESTION How would YOU have handled the two quitters on Survivor this week? "I would have done 3 things: 1. Throw their torches into the fire. 2. Keep them off the jury. 3. Boot them off the upcoming reunion show." -Don Harpwood

Gordon: I agree wholeheartedly
Jason: Don is 100% right.
Chico: Yes yes, and yes. Next up, Josh Eldridge...

BIG FACEBOOK QUESTION How would YOU have handled the two quitters on Survivor this week? "Make them look like giant, unlikable idiots. Charlie Brooker illustrated this pretty well: modern editing has shown there's a lot of power in being able to control the narrative, almost to the point where someone can present the exact opposite of what really happened. "'Course, I'm petty like that." -Josh Eldridge

Chico: Yeah, except for one thing... They did do that. And I don't think anyone's complaining about it. At least not yet.
Gordon: We'll see at the reunion. And that ends the show this week. Special thanks to Jason for joining us.
Jason: Always fun to be here with you.
Chico: Next week, we're on a boat, we're on a boat, everybody look at us, because we're standing on a boat.
Gordon: Chico's floating on a boat. The rest of us will try to ground him :)
Chico: But first, Gordon, challenge the Facebook public!
Jason: So you got tickets for all of us, right Chico?
Chico: Don't I wish.
Gordon: Here's the challenge...

BIG FACEBOOK QUESTION Chico next week will be on a boat. There'll be gambling on the boat. What's the best televised gambling show on TV?

Chico: I swear to you I will return with profit!
Jason: Use it wisely. And remember the rule...profit in the pants.
Chico: No playing with the profit
Gordon: Not when its in your pants. Before we end this one - what are you watching?
Chico: Race finale. Then Top Gear.
Jason: Yeah, Race and Survivor Finales. and Top Gear
Gordon: I'll go with Top Chefs. What are you not watching?
Chico: Bridalplasty and 5th Grader, because it's in reruns.
Jason: Bridalplasty. Yuck.
Gordon: I'm not watching December College Basketball, because its meaningless. Wake me up in February.
Chico: Someone upset about Kyrie Irving's foot?
Gordon: I'm not concerned.
Chico: Sure you aren't. Okay, we're going to call that a show. For Gordon and everyone at GSNN I'm Chico Alexander. Game over... and spread the love.