Game Show Newsnet

Episode 25.7 - Gamer Trash: Zombie Walk Part II
November 1

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I'm doing the show this week next to Super Mario.
Chico: This is Chico Alexander, and I'm doing the show this week next to a character from an obscure, yet awfully addicting PS2 RPG; Albert Simon from Shadow Hearts Covenant.
Gordon: I think that fits me to a T, no?
Chico: Obscure and awfully addicting? Totally.
Gordon: I like to be addicting :)
Chico: So I've heard. You know what else is addicting? Game shows.
Gordon: Very true
Chico: And we've got a whole slew of them this All Hallow's Eve. That said, from somewhere in the game show graveyard of the damned... WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: OOOoh. That sounded Scary.
Chico: not yet.. MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! ... NOW it's scary.
Gordon: Scary indeed. We start with what we like to call the Game Show Rundown, Halloween Style.
Chico: In 3... 2... *awhoooo* And 1....

(GAME SHOW RUNDOWN)

Chico: Starting with TPIR, Wizard of Oz flavor. Now the day before, we had a bit of a skunking. Not just a skunking, a total wipeout. So we're pretty much expecting this to be something special. ANYTHING to make up for that.
Gordon: Or so we'd hope.
Chico: And I'm proud to say that the folks at CBS didn't disappoint with Drew the Lion, Lanisha the Tin ... Woman, Jeff the Scarecrow (somewhat decent for a change), Rachel the Dorothy, and Gwenda the Good Witch.
Gordon: If only the contestants had some brains.
Chico: Or some heart.
Gordon: Or some nerve.
Chico: But that's hardly their fault. I blame Stan.
Gordon: Now remind us all again how contestants do during holiday shows.
Chico: They suck.
Gordon: And the record yesterday?
Chico: 2-3-1 with over $79,000 going out the doors.
Gordon: That actually is a vast improvement over usual holiday shows. Which, of course, is not good news.
Chico: Especially if you're a fan of holiday shows.
Gordon: Right.
Chico: One of the losses came in Safecrackers when Vaughn Adams completely muffs it. In a cool touch, we have CBS pages guarding the safe, but inside, a 2011 Toyota Camry and home theatre with a copy of "Halloween" (the original version). The price in the home theatre has 0, 6, 7. Crack the safe.
Gordon: If you're smart, it's either 760 or 670.
Chico: Vaughn is not smart.
Gordon: How dumb is he?
Chico: He tried 706. Surprisingly, the crowd had a problem with this.
Gordon: That's not smart. Did he dress up as a zombie?
Chico: Might as well have, because he was dead and without brain.
Gordon: Aw. Poor little brain. Was it $670?
Chico: Yes it was.
Gordon: YAY! Where's my car?
Chico: Still in Japan. Because Victorian doll-makers don't drive!
Gordon: It's dressed up as spare parts, isn't it?
Chico: You got it.
Gordon: Of course. Let's continue.
Chico: The other two losses were in Golden (Brick) Road and Pay the Rent. You had to put the house in somewhere because that was pivotal in the Wizard of Oz plot.
Gordon: Which are understandable, as they are hard games.
Chico: I'll tell you how hard... a $79,000+ Jag-you-are... and they don't even get to it.
Gordon: That's hard. Let's see some showcases.
Chico: Sure thing. First is the "Emerald City" Showcase with an emerald bracelet, a trip to the Emerald Isle, Ireland, and a green Hyundai Genesis 2.0 Gordon, bid on it in whole dollars, please.
Gordon: Green car? Really?
Chico: Green car. NEON green car.
Gordon: Ew. $26,069
Chico: Okay, next is something we all need: stylish shoes (Beverly Hills shopping spree), brains (a MacBook), Courage (a trip to Switzerland), and a heart (a Dodge Charger).
Gordon: Yay MacBook!
Chico: I'm going to take a stab at it, say $39,000.
Gordon: $39,001. :)
Chico: (^_^). :-) The price: $39,371. The price of the Emerald Showcase... $41,346.
Gordon: yipes.
Chico: Big winner today: Ashley Quatros. Also won a sport bike in Squeeze Play ... Plus. For lack of a better term. If you missed any of it (like we did. stupid terrorists.), the show is available at CBS.com. Over on Millionaire, we had the Ghost Hunters play for charity. Gordon, tell me how celebs usually do on Millionaire.
Gordon: The same rate as contestants do on holiday shows on The Price is Right. Frightening.
Chico: If it's any consolation, they DO make it to round 2 and see this for $100,000...

Which of the following is the name of an advanced mathematics problem, and not a '70s sci-fi movie?
a) the Quartermass Conclusion
b) The Neptune Factor
c) The Kato Conjecture
d) the Alpha Incident

Chico: I will allow you the use of ATA should you need it
Gordon: Well, I've seen 2 of those movies, so I really need a 50/50.
Chico: They took it away, so no.
Gordon: Bastards.
Chico: We know. We've gone through this.
Gordon: I've seen the Neptune Factor and the Alpha Incident. Quartermass is a British character, so I'm guessing there would be a movie about him somewhere, so I'll say Kato Conjecture.
Chico: Is that your final answer, Gordon?
Gordon: Yes. Final Answer.
Chico: I will say 34% of the audience agreed with you. You. Are. CORRECT.
Gordon: YAY!
Chico: It was C, and the Ghost Hunters leave with $61,100 because they bailed in round 2. They would've been wrong.
Gordon: Fair enough. That's a nice win for celebrities.
Chico: Hasbro Children's Hospital will get the money. Going to LMAD, which is just another day, if you ask me.
Gordon: True, but they do have a 'Halloween Special'.
Chico: Right down to a pumpkin carving contest. And bad B-movie thriller... The Nightmare Behind Curtain #2. I'd say it was a nightmare. Ever see Tiffany Coyne hosting?
Gordon: I'd rather see her dressed up as Lady Godiva. :)
Chico: Naughty boy. I don't disagree, but still...
Gordon: The treats though come in the form of a Vespa, which is won on the show, and a $30,025 Beamer, which isn't won by anybody.
Chico: Aww. But a good trade up as Allison trades a game room for a dining room with private chef. That's a nice trade. Me, I would've like the game room. Great man cave there.
Gordon: That is a nice man cave. Big enough for complete families to fit.
Chico: Yup. Let's go to the Feud. This year's show is... just a regular show? WHA? HUH?
Gordon: Someone may have dropped the episode order ball here.
Chico: Perhaps. Or something. But anyway, the Arrondos fall to the Abdur-Rahman family, who make $780 in Fast Money. We won't see them for a while, and we'll get to that later in Brainvision.
Gordon: Moving on to Wheel of Fortune, who gives us 6 days of Halloweenies.
Chico: Yep. And Vanna in a giraffe suit, sticking her neck out with pride.
Gordon: She does. If you can solve this, you'd be beaming with pride too.
Chico: Hit me.
Gordon: Phrase

_ _ _ N / _ _ R C E S

Chico: JOIN FORCES?
Gordon: You are...right!
Chico: GET SOME!
Gordon: I got it right. More importantly, Kim Kphatsu gets it right and wins $48,450.
Chico: That's sweet. Now I got one for you. It's a THING.

_ _ E _ _ _ N D E R

Gordon: Alexander. As in Chico.
Chico: Hm... ALMOST, but no.
Gordon: Aw.
Chico: It was from the Wednesday show. It was VIEWFINDER... and it cost Karmin Prentice six figures.
Gordon: One hundred thooouuuuuusand...no dollars.
Chico: Nooooodollaaaah. And that's Halloween in game show land.
Gordon: And that's the rewind

(End Rewind)

Chico: Lot of winners, lot of losers, but one big winner and it took ME for a surprise... and by me, I mean my sister. There's a new queen of the Runway, and her name is... Gretchen.
Gordon: That was not only a surprise to her, but to me and the rest of the internet world as there was a ton of backlash. And by backlash, I mean Tweeters ready to apply for a new judge position on the show.
Chico: Guilty. I mean, granted, it's one of those shows where it's not how you start but how you finish, but still... WHAT?!? I mean, Mondo was the odds-on favorite. He was the hero, a more protagonistic archetype that you really wanted to root for and that REALLY had the it factor.
Gordon: Well, it's not about the storyline. it's about the fashion. If you look at the collections...I still don't know how Gretchen wins.
Chico: I've been trying to replay in my mind. Gretchen's collections were ... what the hell were they? I mean, they look like fashion backward with the hippies and the earth tones. I'm just... really? What are you seeing that I'm not? Then I look at the guest judge being Jessica Simpson and think, well that might have something to do wtih it.
Gordon: It was drab grey wear Vs. bright colors.
Chico: Mondo was the one with the colors, right?
Gordon: Right.
Chico: ... Still don't get it. Sorry.
Gordon: Me neither. And neither did Tim, who railed against this all night in his blogs, etc.
Chico: Let's see.. there was "uninspired".. Another bitter Haterade keg tapper says... "If Gretchen's finger is on the pulse, the body must be a corpse."
Gordon: Now the question becomes - how does this affect Project Runway from here on out?
Chico: Well, I think if you're one of those fans that says that Project Runway is more authentic than any other show... Welcome back down to Earth, hope you didn't hurt yourself from the fall. Truth is Project Runway is just as "product-centric" as anyone else, American Idol included.
Gordon: Fashion, like any other aesthetic, is subjective. I think this does hurt the show, just like American Idol's 3 straight years of 'man with guitar' winning hurts hem.
Chico: I mean, you take Mondo, a protagonist-type who is flamboyantly homosexual AND HIV-positive. And you have Gretchen who may have been skillful, but she was hardly on the map personality-wise. If you're a typical fan of PR, which do you gravitate towards?
Gordon: You obviously gravitate towards Mondo, but that's not the point. I think the public would understand if Gretchen had a better collection. The problem here is that she didn't. If you notice at the beginning of the show, Gretchen aced the group in the beginning of the season. Those early challenges obviously caried her to the end and the judges couldn't get past that bias, even though Mondo clearly outdistanced her at the end.
Chico: Michael Kors especially. Just sayin'.
Gordon: I'm not disagreeing.
Chico: So how long do you think before Gretchen becomes just an afterthought on the fashion landscape?
Gordon: ...now?
Chico: That works. :-)
Gordon: Now Dancing is also subjective, but at least the audience has a hand in it's decisions.

Chico: Last week, for what seemed like the 17th time, we said that Bristol Palin was about to head out of the door. Granted, she's one of the bottom crowd, but there was someone far worse than her last week.
Gordon: Yes, and her name is Audrina. Now we get some 'shocking upsets' tweets as Audrina Partidge is shown the gate, but I don't think it's that much of an upset.
Chico: It was no secret that Audrina wasn't going to win the show (I had her has first out), but this is one of those instances when it came out in the wash. And again... chaos theory creates another saver in Kurt & Anna, while Audrina found herself stuck in the middle this week.
Gordon: Before everyone moans on 'well, it's Audrina'. let's point out that she was always mid-pack and finished first once and second once. Quite honestly, she needed to have a break out performance and then build on the momentum in order to have a shot at winning, and she never did it.
Chico: Agreed.
Gordon: You have 6 dancers left - 3 of them, from a seasonal standpoint (Rick, Brandy and Jennifer) have been better than the other 3.
Chico: Brandy has really exploded over the last couple of weeks. She's really starting to "get it".
Gordon: She is, and THAT'S the sort of momentum Audrina needed. She never got it, and that's why she's out.
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: And we move from people who lost momentum to people who never had any to begin with.

Chico: And... another elder goes home

Chico: This time, it's Jill in an ill-advised move to rally the younguns against Marty.
Gordon: In her defense, she had to play it. The more ill-advised move may have been from Marty giving up his immunity to ensure his survival.
Chico: I didn't say that she didn't have to do it. Often times in Survivor the only play you can make is the one that will more than likely send you home. But here's the thing; everyone's got a mouth on this show. What's one of the big rules of this game? Don't trust anyone. Jill was counting on those votes to flush out the immunity Idol. What she didn't expect was that his deal with Sash was going to hold.
Gordon: Yeah, but the better play would have been to align WITH Marty, find the crack in the younguns alliance (and there is a huge one there), vote the power group off and start a counter-alliance. They aren't doing that, and it's turning into Logan's Run.
Chico: You can drive a Mack truck through the crack in that alliance. This is one of those cases where riding shotgun with the person who appears to be the bigger puppetmaster is a viable play. Sash made it. He buys himself so many more rounds in the game.
Gordon: He's setting himself up quite nicely to go very far. If he can keep Marty and pull n what's left of the old fogies to get rid of the young group, then discard the old fogies, he has a trip to the finals.
Chico: Yeah, but it's a lot to do. If the tribe gets their brains back in order, that may not come to fruition. That said, Sash probably has a better chance than most.
Gordon: It is, but it's all laid out nicely. How much of this group have you seen use their brains?
Chico: Let me think about that... Done thinking. Zero. That would be zero.
Gordon: So pencil Sash into the finals.
Chico: Will do. You can pencil Katie & Rachel out of the Race for a Million...

Chico: Not necessarily a fault of anything THEY did, but they just couldn't overcome their last place standing.
Gordon: You expect an equalizer at some point in the race. That didn't happen this episode.
Chico: Nope. Everything just seemed to fall into place. I will point out two WTF moments, though. First of all, this was the Fast Forward leg. You know what that means. One task, probably the hardest in the Race, will allow a team to go right to the Pit Stop. That task: eating a sheep's head.
Gordon: Yummy.
Chico: Now you and I may not have much of an issue. In fact, you'd turn to me and say, "Lean protein. Dig in." But Rhyming Docs Nat & Kat are... vegetarians.
Gordon: Didn't seem to stop them that much now, did it?
Chico: Nope. They ultimately got it. In the Amazing Race, you're going to be forced to do things that you would rather not. Then you have to dig deep and get over yourself.
Gordon: Very true. Some teams do that, others don't.
Chico: The second point; What does "Fast Forward Taken" mean to you?
Gordon: It means you're screwed and need to find another way to complete the Race.
Chico: Someone needed to tell Nick & Vicki that. Just sayin'.
Gordon: They have not exactly been brain surgeons for this season of the race.
Chico: Okay, let's go to a couple of capsule reviews. First up, VH1's latest attempt at an interactive game show. It's a half-hour weekly called "Dance Cam Slam". If you've ever seen someone dancing to something on their webcam, it's essentially like that. Only it's for fun and profit, and their judged by a two person panel who has essentially no bearing on the outcome. Because the whole show is done LIVE and the people vote on a winner.
Gordon: Whoo hoo.
Chico: So in that essence, it's a popularity contest framed around a dance-off for $5,000. One question, VH1.... Why?
Gordon: This goes into the same place all of the other civilian dance shows go - in the gutter. There's nothing good about this show I can even think about putting up.
Chico: ...the host is hot?

DANCE CAM SLAM VH1 - Tuesdays 10p ET
GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
F	F	EPIC FAIL

Gordon: Her talents would be better served if she was roasting the losing contestants in the Saw 3D Oven. F.
Chico: Hey, I tried. F. So there you are. First review is an EPIC FAIL. What would you say about people who are genuinely talented competing for a spot on the West End stage? It's the US premiere of BBC's "I'd Do Anything". No, it's not the sports fantasy series from the early 2000's, but rather the third competition singoff involving Andrew Lloyd Webber in search of a lead in his production of "Oliver!" Again, it's one of those shows that just works over and over again (Grease notwithstanding).
Gordon: Since I don't get BBC, this one's all yours, Chico.

I'D DO ANYTHING BBC America - Wednesdays 9p ET
GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
NO GRADE	B	B

Chico: Of the three that aired stateside, I can see where this one will be a little bit LESS popular than the first two. I'm going to go ahead and give it a B... Again, everything works, but it's not as appealing as either the Joseph show or the Maria show. But it's pretty good.
Gordon: Cool. The hamsters are doing their version of the Mikado, complete with (cough) white (cough, cough) make up powder (cough, cough, gag).
Chico: Allergies?
Gordon: That powdery stuff is nasty.
Chico: Ew.. Okay, I'll get a vacuum, you get the newsreel ready.
Gordon: Ready. Roll that Beautiful Brainvision Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: I finished vacuuming, and I got brooms. You know what that means.
Gordon: Getting ready for November Sweeps, are we?
Chico: Yes we are...

This week, TNA invades Family Feud, the Marines invade the Biggest Loser, the cast of Mary Poppins invades the 200th episode of Dancing with the Stars, collegians invade 5th Grader, Idols invade DFTL, and we have one premiere: GSN's new season of "The Newlywed Game"

Chico: I'll tell you right now the Monday shows on Lyrics and 5th Grader aired on MNT already.
Gordon: Looks like the week of too many celebrities revisited.
Chico: What do you want for sweeps? =p
Gordon: Ummm...good game play?
Chico: Well, let's consider the following. Celeb Feuds are very popular, and the 5th Grader and DFTL shows need SOMETHING to attract the eyeballs, because both are in danger.
Gordon: I think they are both beyond saving.
Chico: Right. I had the datebook, so you can have this... *baseball bat*. It's only fair.
Gordon: It's the Halloween version, isn't it? This one's got spikes and brain matter attached to it.
Chico: Yeah, that was the guy who kept posting "I likk bigg munny gam shoos"... I had to make an example of him.
Gordon: I see.
Chico: "Wheel 2000 is NEW NEW NEW!" *Whap.*

The Disagreement with FOX and Cablevision is FINALLY over. That means you can watch American Idol in January if you're a music fan, and Poker's 'The Big Game' if you're a masochist.

Chico: YAY MASOCHISM!
Gordon: Way...tooooo...slooooooooooow. And I have a Green Light, too.
Chico: Nice

BET is partnering up with Smirnoff for Master of the Mix, which will give out $250,000 for the best DJ. That's a smart move. Here's a much dumber one: Paula Abdul's 'Live To Dance' is going head to head against American Idol.

Chico: *commits seppuku*
Gordon: That's what Paula Abdul is doing.
Chico: Yeah, basically.
Gordon: Because Idol is still Idol.
Chico: Even bad Idol will still get more eyeballs than good anything else. Except Dancing.
Gordon: And as we've seen during the Summer, So You Think You Can Dance is fading and it's in the Summer. We've also seen how that show did in the Winter (which is one of the things that's contributing to it's demise). Not to mention Bruno Vs. Carrie Ann went pasties up when it debuted in January, and that was during scab programming. How much chance does Paula's show have?
Chico: Slim to none... and slim has his bags at the door.
Gordon: Not a good sign for Paula. She may need to get fully loaded.
Chico: *hic*
Gordon: Oh one more thing -

On a good note, GSN has renewed High Stakes Poker for a 7th season

Gordon: I loved that game. I'm glad it's returning.
Chico: Catch it in the winter. Let's get loaded.

As reported earlier, everyone's favorite game show video game You don't Know Jack is returning to consoles in 2011.

Gordon: Excellent. Now please make sure if it hits tv screens we do NOT see Pee Wee Herman coming back to host the show. Please.
Chico: It'll be on the 360, PS3, Wii, and DS. And it'll feature interactive online play over XBLA and PSN.
Gordon: That's a very smart idea.
Chico: Yep. You have several less smart ideas, I take it?
Gordon: I have one, but it's a big one.
Chico: HOW BIG IS IT?
Gordon: And I'll preface it with this. Kids, just because alcohol is available to you, doesn't mean that you should be available for it.

Are YOU Smarter than...Audrina Patridge's MOM, who says these less than brilliant things after her daughter's departure from DWTS (and while she was on moonbeam street).

"She's kicking ass on her reality show and we're going to f---ing smoke, especially Lauren Conrad's pissy a-- little fashion sh-t -- That bitch wants to bring it on? Let's go! F--king let's go! I've been a celebrity mom eight years through this Hills bulls--t, but Audrina's going to the next level, baby. She's got it in her!," Lynn exclaimed. "F---ing Hills girls -- Hills tramps! My baby's a star! She's the only one that has some class and I don't give a f--- about it."

Chico: I'm glad Audrina has class.
Gordon: I'm guessing she got it from her daddy.
Chico: Yep. But tell us, mom... how do you REALLY feel?
Gordon: I can tell you how this guy really feels.

Chico: BRAAAAAAAINS!
Gordon: Augustus, our Zombie Game Show Stripper, can't wait to see The Walking Dead tonight.
Chico: I betcha he can't.

Then when he's done, he can snack on My Antonio, Starmaker, and Real Chance of Love, all of which have gone past the year after expiration date and are now ready to be munched on.

Chico: BRAAAAAAAINS!
Gordon: I'm not sure about the nutritional value of these shows. I don't think there's a lot of braaaaaaaaaaains to be had there.
Chico: *angrily* BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!
Gordon: Go on a trip to find healthier braaaaaaaains. Where are you going?
Chico: England.
Gordon: Jolly Old Brains

The good: Million Pound Drop relaunches with 2 million viewers.

Gordon: That's good?
Chico: If you like the show. I like it.
Gordon: I think we need to send Augustus over there to eat the money.
Chico: Oh, he's eating something.
Gordon: That should be How To Leave a Game show, right?
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: Here's one way to leave the airwaves - dismemberment and brains eaten by zombie.

101 Ways to Leave a Game Show just added another one: bad ratings.

Gordon: And to be honest, though the premise is fun, it lacked the execution to be creative and the pacing was ridiculously slow.
Chico: Exactly. But at least it had braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains.
Gordon: it needed to be Silent Library over the Top, and we never got that
Chico: It didn't go... there.
Gordon: Nope. Do Media Hoes have brains?
Chico: Depends.
Gordon: Play that funky music.
Chico: (plays "The Monster Mash")
Gordon: ...that works.

In this week's Media Monster Ho Report, Kara DioGuardi is now judging Bravo's new musical show, J. Keith Van Straaten (Beat the Geeks) is going to LA with The Fix-Up Show, Mariah Carey is pregnant with Nick Cannon's Baby...

Chico: *baby cries*

Jerry Springer Judging The X-Factor rumors abound, Alex Trebek is honored by the Royal Canadian Geographic Society, Bob Barker takes on Missouri Puppy Mills... Betty White favors gay marriage and tells the American Public to mind their own business, Tyra Banks stalker is arrested, and Kid Rock calls Idol 'The dumbest thing Steven Tyler has done'.

Gordon: But none of them are your hoes of the week.
Chico: Who you got?
Gordon: I got the new hosts of the Miss America Pageant. They are Brooke Burke and Chris Harrison, host of your FAVORITE show in the whooooole wide world.
Chico: Mall Masters?
Gordon: Oooh, that one too. That was a classic.
Chico: Oh yeah. Somewhere JD Roberto's glad he didn't get THAT gig. Okay, that's Brainvision. Call it a day.
Gordon: Shutting down. When we return, we discuss who's getting tricked and who's getting treated, but first, I torture Chico with Chascos.
Chico: This is WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, we give you... braaaaaaaaaaains!
Gordon: Tasty meaty brains.

(Brainvision has been brought to you by Joe Rogan's Fear Factor Catering Service. What's the perfect meal to have during a UFC match? BRAINS! You see them on the Octagon floor, you may as well see them on your dinner table. Now available in Cow, Pig and Sheep Variety. Kentucky Fried Tarheel Buffalo Chips included on the side, but the Ofer Holes are sold out. Sorry.)

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