Episode 25.6 - A Week of Too
Many Stars: An Overbooked Celebration of Our 8th Anniversary
Chico: This is Chico Alexander, and eight years
ago, two people who have no business being in the same room, let alone on the
same internet, got a good idea...
Gordon: Set up Facebook?
Chico: Two OTHER people
Gordon: Plaid armfilled snuggies?
Chico: ... See what I mean?
Chico: Eight years (and one week) later, it's time to celebrate with... a week
of too many stars.
Chico: An overbooked celebration of our ... eighth anniversary. *counts to make
sure* yeah, eighth.
Gordon: Yes. Believe it or not, we started this in October of 2002, and met a
lot of friends along the way. Including our special guest this week, Mr. Jason
Jason: Yeah, and believe it or not, I was not here for more most of it. :) Seems
like it though. Thanks for having me.
Chico: Now that introductions are out of the way... from somewhere in America...
this very special WLTI... is... ON! *plays "We Interrupt This Prgramme"
Gordon: But it's not just Jason who is here this week. We have a TON of
celebrities... who we'll be making fun of.
Chico: Now who is the dullest dancer of them all?
Gordon: All of them?
Chico: ... Sure, why not? But who scored the lowest?
Jason: Bristol Palin, Right?
Chico: Right. Now who got the boot?
Jason: Mama Brady, Florence Henderson
Chico: I believe I call chaos theory.
Gordon: I believe that would be a correct call. Everyone last week, including
us, thought that Bristol would be a dead duck, or as per Monday's show, a dead
Chico: Would that make her the gorilla your dreams?
Gordon: If she turned democrat, sure :)
Jason: Will. Never. Happen :)
Gordon: I've got a banana that she can munch on.
Chico: OKAY! Everything she does is SUGGESTIVE! :-) Let's review. The good
dancers with the high scores are moving on because they're good - and they have
the audience to justify their goodness.
Jason: Brandy, Rick and Jennifer Grey
Chico: The bad dancers will move on because they need the support after the
judges ream them a new one.
Gordon: And because their fan bases know they need to vote for them.
Chico: On this show, we call it the Master P Effect.
Chico: Right. That leaves the dancers that are modest at best and forgettable at
worst. That would be, oh, everyone else.
Gordon: And stuck, because the fan base won't vote for them because they weren't
great, but they weren't bad enough that people felt a need to call in and save
Chico: So the judges' bottom two: Bristol/Mark & Florence/Corky. One of these
two duos has been dreadful almost from the beginning. The other... not so much.
That other gets the boot.
Gordon: And that's what happens to Florence. Mediocre score + people convinced
others are leaving and need their votes more = no votes.
Chico: But let me play Devil's Advocate here and say that Florence deserved to
get the boot. You are Carol Brady. You dance to the Brady Bunch theme on TV
night. I'll take Predictablity for $200.
Gordon: It's cute. It's nice. it's not going to get you votes unless you have
her pulling out an AK-47 and tommygunning a Cousin Oliver cutout.
Chico: On the other hand, Bristol Palin may suck canal water, but she's always
surprising and/or interesting.
Jason: And you can not discount the "flyover country" voting base. They vote.
Chico: She came out in a monkey suit. What does that tell you?
Gordon: She is accurately representing the intelligence of the Republican party?
Chico: Rebuttal, Mr. Block?
Jason: Nothing needs to be said when the Democratic party's symbol is an ass.
Pot. Kettle :) Love you G. All in fun.
Gordon: Hugs and kisses. Anyways, what happens next week?
Chico: So that's why Bristol's still around. That's why Florence is gone. That
said... I don't think she lasts another week, not as deadpan as she has been.
Next week is Rock & Roll week. Oh yeah... she's dooomed.
Gordon: I'd say she's in trouble - unless someone wants to help her out. We'll
see next week. We go from Dancing to Singing. Do we have any famous singing
celebrities this week?
Chico: Why yes. Yes we do. A whole week's worth and then some on Don't Forget
the Lyrics. Seven stars. How do you think they did?
Jason: Boom. As in bomb
Chico: Let's start with Monday's show. You all remember Kid'n Play, right? That
was Gordon and my act during the 1980s. I was Kid, Gordon was Play.
Jason: Who had the high-top fade?
Chico: That would be me. Anyway, the born-Chris Reid & Chris Martin played for
$10,000 after going 3/4. Who wants a Sing-Along!
Jason: I do!
Chico: The song is "Somebody's Watching Me" by Rockwell (with Michael Jackson).
Looking for 10 words...
I'm just an average man
With an average life
I work from nine to five
Hey, hell, I pay the price
All I want is to be left alone
In my average home
But why do I always feel
Like I'm in the twilight zone
And (I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
And I have no privacy
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Tell me, is it just a dream
When I come home at night
I bolt the door real tight
People call me on the phone
I'm trying to avoid
But can the...
Jason: people understand that I'm just paranoid?
Gordon: Hold on... looking for something.... (rummaging) Here, found it. (Tosses
Jason a Dunce Cap)
Jason: Thanks (puts it on)
Gordon: That's for giving 6 words to a 10 worded answer. The right response:
People on TV see me or am I just paranoid.
Chico: People, yeah. Anyway, Kid'n Play can't play. They get the $5000 house
minimum for charity.
Jason: Oh well.
Chico: They were playing for Red Cross Haiti relief. Tuesday.. THREE
Celebrities! Three of'em!
Jason: Oh boy.
Chico: First was Kate Flannery, who barely qualifies as a celebrity.
Gordon: Since when is Kate a music star?
Chico: She's gotta do something. The Office is starting to suck. She ran the
board and went for the Encore of "Physical" by Olivia Newton John and missed it.
So so far, the celebs are 0-for-2. $5000 to the Diocese of Phoenix.
Gordon: I don't sense it getting any better
Chico: Trust me when I say it doesn't. Next is Christine Lakin, who was on Step
By Step and hasn't been seen since. She ran the board and went for the Encore of
"I'm Still Standing" by Elton John and missed it. 0-3. Then Dayna Devon, who
worked with the host on Extra for so many years before Mario Lopez came about
and asserted himself. She walked with $10,000. So that's $15,000 for Susan G
Komen for the Cure. Her Encore was "Hard to Handle" by the Black Crowes. So
we're 0-3-1. Wednesday: Alan Thicke. So you're pretty much guaranteed that he's
not going to make any sense... and he doesn't. 0-4-1. But he does take $5000 for
the Alan Thicke Center for Juvenile Diabetes Research and Procon.org His Encore:
"Black Horse and the Cherry Tree". I'm pretty sure the line that begins "And my
heart had a problem in the early hours" doesn't end in "and I went back a sixty
pack, a duke without bow-wow..." I had to look that up on the closed captions.
That's actually what he said.
Chico: You know his kid's an R&B singer, right?
Jason: A pretty damn good one
Chico: Thersday for the ladies, it's Tia Carrere... still bangin'.
Jason: Way banging
Chico: Not on her stack, which she only gets HALF of. And blanks on "Lookin' Out
My Back Door" by Creedance Clearwater-Revival. $5000 for the Afterschool
All-Stars Hawaii. And that was actually an improvement from her front game. She
got money for doing absolutely nothing. Celebrity justice indeed. 0-WTF-1.
Finally... Margaret Cho.
Jason: Oh no.
Chico: Well... she sings better than she dances.. which isn't saying much.
Institute for Marine Mammal Studies gets $5000 from this... It's "Ain't Nobody"
by Chaka Khan... 10 words. No conferring.
Gordon: No need to confer here. I love this song.
That's the way it was
It happened so naturally
I did not know it was love
The next thing I felt was you
Holdin' me close
What was I gonna do?
I let myself go
And now we're flyin' through the stars
I hope this night will last forever
Loves me better
Makes me happy
Makes me feel this way
Loves me better
Loves me better, than you
And first you put your...
Jason: (passes to Gordon)
Gordon: ...arms around me. Then you put your charms around me.
Chico: I do, you know. =p ... Oh baby.
Jason: Very nice
Gordon: Is that what you tell the ladies when you start singing in your boxers?
Chico: Maybe. :-) So to sum up... Nobody wins the full 50. We had one walkout
with $10K. And six encore suckouts, one of which actually IMPROVED a
contestant's score. ..... And they wonder why the show sucks.
Gordon: Let's go to something that sucks less. This week, Millionaire sucked a
Chico: Millionaire sucks less. We had two, count'em, TWO $250,000 questions, one
leading to a $500K. That's three-quarters of a...
Chico: Let's start with the bigger one. Kimberly Collins RAN after seeing this
question. For $500,000...
Before winning a Nobel Prize, who promised in his divorce settlement to give
the prize money to his first wife if he won?
A: Ernest Hemingway
B: William Faulkner
C: Nelson Mandela
D: Albert Einstein
Jason: Its the man himself, D. Albert Einstein. Final.
Gordon: I'm looking for Larry King to be one of the answers and I can't find him
Chico: Find him behind Albert Einstein.
Gordon: I will. D then.
Chico: D is right, although if it were Larry King, it'd be a little more
entertaining. The second big money query came on Thursday's show... Karolina
Koszut-Ledogar walked after seeing this...
Which of these famous Native Americans has a name which, loosely translated,
means "the playful one"?
Chico: I'll say this right now, she was leaning toward the right answer
Jason: My guess is C....(Final?)
Gordon: I'll say A. She had a daughter named Poke-a-lot-us.
Chico: It's not B or D, because they were anything BUT playful. They'll play
with your head after they lop it off. But one of you is right.
Congratulations.... Gordon, well done.
Chico: So two MVPs there. And just to stay relevant, Rick, Corey, & Chumlee from
"Pawn Stars"... they are on Tuesday's show for the whole half hour. Only $10K to
show for it. Boys & Girls Club of Las Vegas getting that. So we have double the
MVPs, how about double the morons?
Chico: It's the Double Elimination week on Survivor.
Gordon: It is, and we had a mild surprise over on one of the camps. The surprise
we didn't have was Yve getting booted from Espada.
Chico: Nope. That was sweep city. Yve found out that Dan was thinking about
quitting... and guess who used that information for his advantage.
Chico: Nope. Yve. But the thing is... a bunch of younguns aren't going to have
what she's selling for...
Gordon: She told everyone that Dan wanted to quit, which inadvertently makes him
useful because they can get rid of him at any time. Yve on the other hand, wants
to play, which makes her a threat if they keep her around.
Chico: Thanks for the info, Yve. Buh bye. Speaking of threats, we had a tie
between two of the big ones over at Espada, with a third just escaping by YEAH
MUCH. We know that Kelly B, even with the prosthesis, is a physical threat. We
know that Marty is a mentalist who will play you the first chance he gets. We
know that Brenda knows too much and talks even more. All three get votes, with
Kelly and Marty tied.
Gordon: And in this case, the young'uns had the numbers to get rid of one of
Chico: In the revote... Sash was swayed to vote out Kelly B. Jill of the elders
sealed her fate.
Gordon: It is a good move. You can get rid of Marty at any time. This was a
specific window to get rid of someone that you feel could be a threat to win the
Chico: And Kelly was a threat. No one is going to deny that. I mean she still
had some fight left.
Gordon: A massive one, the longer you keep her in the game.
Chico: So the voting has more to do with timing than anything else. Yes, the
wrong people were voted out this week, but it's not quite time for the right
people to go JUST YET.
Gordon: I disagree. I think the right people were voted out in this case.
Jason: Kelly was a threat.
Gordon: If you're the young'uns, your job is to get rid of the people who you
feel can be threats later on. Kelly is a threat and so was Yve, albeit for
different reasons. Kelly because of her leg, and Yve, who could have come up
with a counter-alliance with the disgruntled young-uns.
Chico: Still a few threats to ferret out, though.
Gordon: You still have the oldies that have to go.
Gordon: Though another oldie stuck it out after sitting on a block of ice for 10
Chico: But can he feel his bum?
Gordon: I'd like to kick the producers for coming up with this. Dumbest. Speed
Jason: When I watched that I said....huh? That was pointless
Chico: Michael & Kevin Wu had to take a seat for 10 minutes on a chair made of
ice. I've heard reality TV was ass-numbingly cumbersome, but this is ridiculous.
Gordon: No skill or strategy whatsoever, I know you don't want the speed bump to
kill off a teams chances, but 10 minutes? really?
Chico: ... 20? :-)
Jason: How about 30 minutes...
Chico: Do I hear one hour?
Jason: 1 hour?
Gordon: Sold! (Pounds Gavel). Seriously, I'd say 30 minutes, or doing something
that requires you to do something while on the chair.
Chico: Solve a sudoku or a crossword or something. But sitting there for 10
minutes doesn't really make for good TV, does it?
Gordon: no. Neither does not being able to set up a bed or fly down a course in
less than 1:58.
Jason: That wasn't bad
Chico: Unless you're an a cappella geek who's missing his graduation from
college to run this stupid thing. Then it's horrible. Now setting up a bed in
Scandinavia shouldn't be hard as long as you have that little screwdriver thing.
You know the kind that I'm talking about, right?
Jason: You mean the Allen wrench :) The L shaped thing :)
Chico: Yeah, the Allen wrench. Connor & Jonathan have a bit of an issue with it.
Gordon: They have an issue with both challenges. They move to the bed challenge
after fearing their health in the sled challenge.
Jason: I would have been on that sled in a flat minute LOL
Chico: Same here. I heart the rush.
Gordon: And because they couldn't get either task completed before anyone else,
they get to sing their swan song.
Chico: Literally, I wish I had the tape.... oh well. On the bright side...
they'll probably let you sing at the finish line. Maybe. Possibly... no.
Gordon: No. And the only thing Kelly will be singing on The Apprentice will be
Jason: They did. It was fun
Chico: The return of the pedicab challenge. Kelly ran Fortitude. Anand took the
reigns for Octane. Octane had a theme. They executed it flawlessly, and got more
business. Fortitude forgot one of the rules of business... Location, location,
Gordon: Jason, you are a New Yorker. Are you going to want a Pedicab Ride?
Jason: Heck no. I walk. I do the subway. Sorry, tourists need them.
Gordon: Chico, you're a tourist who has never seen or experienced the big city.
Are you going to want a pedicab ride?
Chico: Okay, I'm a tourist. I do the pedicabs. That's the selling point for
Octane. That's where they make the bulk of their sales. They're going to
quantity, not quality. And in a challenge like this, quantity will count for
Gordon: That's where the task is won and lost. The guys go after the tourists,
who like this stuff. The women go after the wall street executives, who have no
time for pedicabs. As a result, the women get crushed, and Kelly, who is the
Project Manager, gets her walking papers.
Chico: If there is anything more important than getting high-water sales, it's
being at the right place at the right time. Octane was there.
Gordon: It's also being smart, for the reasons I laid out. Pedicabs are a
tourist attraction, not for the natives.
Chico: I like the big CEE-ment buildin's.
Chico: Natives... they have better things to do. Ain't that right, natives?
Jason: Much more. Walking through the city rocks :)
Gordon: Right. Like watching hamsters selling feed to Eve the cat and telling
her it's catnip.
Jason: They didn't.
Chico: They did, It was Gordon Jr.'s idea.
Jason: Did she eat it?
Gordon: Eve's eating hamster feed right now as we speak. I'm not saying a word.
Jason: Oh man.
Gordon: Hey, my hamster can sell, sell, sell!
Chico: Can he roll roll roll? 'Cause that's what needs to happen right now.
Gordon: He can. Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage.
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your
frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico
Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Gordon: We start this week's BrainVision with a Datebook that's got chocolate in
Chico: Chocolate? I like chocolate.
Jason: I love chocolate.
Chico: I can only have so much, though.
you're looking for Halloween programming, you'll find plenty of it. Wheel of
Fortune got into the spirit at the end of last week with Halloween shows, which
goes into this week
Chico: That'll continue into this week.
Tuesday is the premiere of VH1's Dance Can Slam... which awards $5000 to
people who dance in front of their webcams...
Gordon: That's a trick. not a treat.
Chico: I've got a treat.
Wednesday, BBC America is launching the US premiere of "I'd Do Anything",
which looks for a new cast for Oliver Twist.
Chico: It aired back in 2008. We're getting it now.
Jason: That is a treat.
Chico: That's a treat. That's a sweet treat.
Gordon: Um...no, it's not.
Chico: Well... we think it's a treat... and it's better than dancing in front of
Gordon: I guess it is. Musical reality game shows have been hit or miss here.
Jason: The Brits do it better.
Chico: Captain Jack's in it.
Jason: Barrowman can sing.
Gordon: I guess it's better. As for me, give me one of these for Mischief Night
the day before (gives Chico an orange and black bat)
Chico: For the record... GO GIANTS. 'Sall I'm sayin'.
to talk about mischief? Fox Look is looking to bring back... "Studs".
Jason: I honestly don't think you can do Studs in 2010. Because the climate is
Gordon: I disagree completely. This is the perfect atmosphere to bring back
Studs as a late night show. From a social aspect, this show will do very very
Chico: In the age of Twitter, you already know what your girl is thinking. But
wait! There's MORE!
is looking to bring back WWE Tough Enough... and MTV IS bringing back Silent
Library for another season.
Jason: WWE Tough Enough was legitimately (in Seasons 1-3) one of the best looks
of the wrestling industry and a great reality show to boot. In Fact one of the
top WWE stars was the winner of Season 3 (John Hennigan a/k/a John Morrison).
right now he is one of the top guys
Gordon: Tough Enough is a great way to ferret out talent and show that part of
the industry to up and comers. Just like UFC's Ultimate Fighter does the same
thing to future MMAs.
Chico: And as for Silent Library... come on, EVERYONE loves Silent Library.
That's quintessential mind junk.
Jason: Silent Library is great stuff.
Gordon: I love it (waves Silent Library Bookcard)
Gordon: (Wheels in Blackboard) What would you say we focus on The Price is Right
for the second straight week?
Chico: Why the heck not. Hold on. I need to get in the mood. *plays Afroman's
"Because I Got High"* Okay.
Gordon: Um yes, that would be that person.
Chico: We in the mood now, brah.
YOU Smarter than...Laurie Dotson, who apparently likes one specific number more
that any other, which also probably represents the number of brain cells left in
Chico: I think you're overestimating it.
Gordon: Maybe. She gets called on down in the second segment. We get 5
consecutive bids of...$420.
Chico: Laurie posted the toker's bid five times, and she lost, five times.
People. It's neither cute nor funny. So stop it.
Gordon: What makes it worse is that 2 of those times, she was the last bidder,
so she could have done $--1 and gotten on stage.
Jason: Either she was a fan (like Rob Van Dam) or she just was a dope. :)
Gordon: I personally have never gotten as many hate ims during a show as I got
during the TPIR show on Thursday.
Chico: Not even during the Joseph episode?
Gordon: Worse than the Joseph episode. After the second 420, I got double digit
Ims blasted at me.
Chico: Dude. But wait! IT gets BETTER!
Remember Lydia Lambert from the Friday show? She
started by bidding $420. Then someone told her to knock it the fark down, at
which time she bid... $5000 on a wardrobe set.
Chico: She got into the game at round 3, but was destined to the island of
Gordon: This is what you get when you look for the screaming contestants and not
necessarily the smart ones.
Chico: Will you ever learn?
Jason: That means you, Stan Blitz.
Gordon: Oh and by the way on a side note...
If you're name is Steven Urkel, you're supposed to be smart and not putting
up a number like $692 on Ten Chances.
Chico: What? That's just... no. Repeat after me.... ZERO RULE.
Gordon: ZERO RULE!
Jason: ZERO RULE!
Chico: Okay, we're done with the contact high. I need a drink.
Chico: ... not yet. Something a little softer.
Gordon: Who wants some Haterade?
Jason: I do! (slams down cup) Fill me up, Barkeep!
of the rules about talk shows is that if you're bringing in a minor, you need to
get mommy or daddy's permission. Apparently, that didn't happen with a minor on
a sex addiction themed episode of the Tyra Banks show, so Tyra is getting sued
for 3 million dollars.
Jason: Whoooooooooa daddy
Chico: I have to call shenanigans. I'm guessing the kid did something she
shouldn't have. Like, I don't know... forge a signature somewhere.
Gordon: Yes, but you still have to follow the rules.
Jason: It will come out in the wash
Chico: Suuuure it will.
Gordon: Or not. Tyra's producers may want to get Fully Loaded.
are gathered here today in the sight of these geeks to witness the union of
FremantleMedia and Ludia, makers of fine FremantleMedia home adaptations...
Jason: NIiiiiice. This is one of the best things Fremantle has done. The games
have been ok at best(TPIR and Feud being the best apps) but they WILL get
Gordon: Agreed. If you're going to make those shows for those groups, this is a
logical move for the company.
Chico: And maybe there'll come a TV deal out of it... Come ooooon Press Your
Jason: With Fremantle's money, you SHOULD have improved graphics and gameplay
Gordon: And you should have Media Hoes
Chico: Always. (plays "Pimpin' All Over the World")
this week's Media Ho Report, TJ Lavin is recovering from his bike crash. Betty
White plays Secret Santa, Justin Bieber is pursued by Simon Cowell for X
Nick Lachey hosts Season 2 of the Sing Off, Melissa Rycroft and Jen Scheft
are both having baby girls and Gilli Shem Tov, who is a lesbian, will have a
female dancing partner in Israel's version of Dancing With the Stars.
Jason: Whoo hoo lol
Gordon: Why is it when if you have 2 guys together, most of America thinks it's
gross, but when you have 2 girls together, most of America thinks it's hot?
Chico: I don't know. I just do, okay? =p
Gordon: But none of them are your ho of the week.
Jason: Who is the ho?
Gordon: The ho is Tom Bosley, who passed this week, but who played in every
incarnation of The Hollywood Squares, as well as Match Game in the 70's.
Chico: We miss you, Mr. C. Say hi to Chuck for me. Seriously, what happened to
that dude. He went up the stairs in the pilot, never came down.
Gordon: Thank you. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Okay, I think we're out of hoes, let's get out of the country. And
Gordon, I have some Haterade for you as we go to Australia.
Chico: When Iron Chef premiered in Japan... it was a big hit, yeah?
Chico: When Iron Chef America premiered in the US... it was a big hit, yeah? One
that continues to this day. ... Australia doesn't really GET IT.
Gordon: This is from the country who LOVED The Rich List, so keep that in mind.
Chef Australia debuted to 1.129 million, making it the seventh most watched show
on Tuesday night.
Gordon: That's not too good.
Chico: Nope. Point of comparison, the most watched show that night, something
called "Packed to the Rafters", which scored 1.795 million.
Jason: Not good at all.
Chico: This was from the country that did MasterChef up right, you know?
Chico: Seven was hoping this was going to be the MasterChef killer...
Gordon: You may be able to stick Iron Chef with a fork. It's done. Here's your
chef for the feast.
Chico: It's close to Halloween, why not a zombie. Ours, though... still going.
IC America will more than likely outlast us all.
Gordon: Augustus is going, but BrainVision isn't. Shut it down.
Jason: (Shutting Down)
Chico: Still to come, we have some giant shoes to fill, hypothetically, but
first... we have a giant vial of pills. Which of this fall's premieres were
bitter to swallow, and which ones were just what the doctor ordered? Find out
after the break.
Gordon: You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22 game
show trick or treat recipes, like Marshmallow Match Game Krispie treats.
(BrainVision has been brought to you by the Kentucky Fried Tarheels 2 For 1
deal! What's the best side order for your North Carolina Panther O-Fer Holes?
Buffalo Bills Buffalo Chips! Cause you really want a food that perfectly
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