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Episode 25.4 - Moron...
Moron... AND A TRIPLE!
Chico: This is Chico Alexander, and I have an
announcement to make... starting next week, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli will
be taking Gordon and my place. Gordon: (Wheels in a Len Goodman Cutout). Jason: Huh? Chico: No, not really. Jason: That's good. You had me going for a second. Gordon: He sort of does look like you, Chico. Chico: He looks like me, he sounds like you... that's a dangerous combination. Gordon: I'd say Bruno sounds more like me. Without the accent. But not as much
bluntness though. Chico: Or as many metaphors, but I'm sure you have something for that. Gordon: Who moi? Chico: :-) Because that's how you roll! The gist of this joke in mere moments,
because from somewhere in America, WLTI: the 25th Season... is ... ON! Gordon: Gordon Pepper here. And along with Chico is our special guest Mr. Jason
Block. Jason: Always happy to be in the nuthouse. Chico: Good to be among friends. Jason: Yes. Gordon: There's no business like Cho Business...and in that case, it means
there's No Mo' Cho business.
Chico: Margaret Cho, who we pegged as first gone... is actually third. Jason: That was because there were two more horrific people in the form of
Bolton and the Hoff Chico: Right. Gordon: We start with some dancing, and we do that for a number of reasons. Chico: This week, though, three 6s for a samba... just DEVILISH. Jason: Horrific performances...not people. Chico: right. Gordon: Well we had plenty of that to go around. And Margaret left, albeit 2
weeks later than intended. Jason: But believe it or not, she went at the right time. Chico: Amazing thing, though... the person I thought was going to leave early on
is not only still in it... but at the front of the pack. Gordon: Would that be Miss Audrina? Chico: That being hot leggy Audrina, yeah. Jason: Audrina Patridge Chico: She's actually taking this seriously! Tony is a horrible teacher, which
makes this even MORE surprising. Gordon: Let me say something here. Jason: Go for it. Gordon: If you're on The Hills, and you with to extend your 15 minutes of Fame,
THIS is how you do it, by going on a show to win and performing admirably. Not
trying to pander to the public badly. Chico: Gee, who could Gordon be talking about? Jason: (cough) MICHAEL BOLTON (cough) Him. Gordon: Um....no. (Buzzes Jay). Chico, please enlighten Mr. Block. Chico: The trainwreck that is Speidi. And that's the last we'll hear of them
this episode... Gordon: Thank you. (DING) Jason: I forgot about them Chico: As well you should. They need a time out. Gordon: Preferably in the Ukraine. Taking a gondola ride over the new river of
toxic sludge. Chico: Ew. Next week, Rumba or Argentine tango as we introduce... Acoustic Week. Gordon: I like acoustic week. Chico: You love it. Gordon: Dancing With the Stars unplugged Chico: Can't wait for that. Jason: Good stuff Gordon: Now we started with this because we're going to segue into our first
bonus segment of the show.
Gordon: Now as you remember, you played Categories, with the Final Question
being: Who leaves first on Dancing with the Stars?' Chico: Right. Gordon: The correct answer: David Hasselhoff. Number of people who got it right:
0. Chico: YAY! Jason: ROFL Gordon: Which means your FINAL Categories score is this:
Josh: $0 Jason: $0 Chico: $999
Chico: I WON! Jason: Yes. You did. Gordon: Jason implemented his betting strategy quite badly. Booo, 4 time
Jeopardy Champion. Jason: lol Chico: I'll defer my 30 seconds until after act 3. Gordon: Fair enough. So why do I bring this up now? Because we had a similar
train wreck on Thursday on Jeopardy. Chico: Graphic? Gordon: Oh yes.
Gordon: Because no offense to Mike Hodel, but he should not be the champion
going into next week. It should be Sarah Rabin Spira, but she makes a fatal
error. Chico: That would be what we call in the business catastrophic failure. Gordon: True. Set us up, Chico. Chico: Sarah had $10,400. Don has $11,400. Mike is still alive with $2,800. Gordon: Ok Jason, you can redeem yourself here. You're Sarah, what's your bet? Jason: I am not going to redeem; weak betting doesn't work. $10,400. Gordon: It's not weak betting. It's smart betting, and you lose (BUZZ). Chico? Chico: You bet to cover the doubler of third place. Better to lock one person
out and still have a chance than to lock YOURSELF out. Jason: which would $4,799 Gordon: $4,799 is the correct bid. It forces Don to get the question right and
blocks Mike out. And if she bet that and we get a triple stumper, she wins. And
we DO get a triple stumper. The question and topic, Mr. Alexander? Chico: The category is... Mammals.
One type of this aquatic animal gives milk that's 65% fat; pups are weaned in
4 days, the least of any mammal.
Jason: What is SEALS? Gordon: What is Heidi Klum? Jason: (rimshot) Chico: Gordon once again gets style points for his joke response. Gordon: She nurses a Seal and she has a bunch of pups. Think about it. Chico: But is her milk 65% fat? I don't think so. Heidi's not even 65% fat. Gordon: If she's pregnant, she could be. Jason: But if her pups are weaned in 4 days, more power to Heidi :) Chico: Right! Jason's right, as usual. Sarah bet.. Everything. Why? No one
knows. Gordon: If Sarah makes the correct wager, she wins with $5,601 and gets to play
again. Instead, it's Mike who wins $2,100 and moves on to Friday's episode. Chico: But what was famine on Jeopardy! was feast on Wheel. Second Bonus...
Jason: May I take this? Chico: Jason will discuss the tale of Uwimana Waller... Jason: Yes. She goes into the bonus round with $17,360 in cash and prizes. And
this happens... She lands on the N in WIN. Her category is PHRASE. With the
RSTLNE and her choices of D M B I and her Wild Card Choice of P we have:
_ N _
_ _ I M
Jason: Guesses? Chico: ON A SHIM? Jason: No. (Buzz) Gordon: We need to put Chico on a shim. Chico: I just wanted to be the joker for once.. Jason: Thats ok :) Gordon? Gordon: On a Whim. Jason: Yes... And the CONFETTI FALLS as Uwimama Waller wins $117,360 in cash and
prizes. I love the set. Gordon: Nice job for Uwimama. Is she the MVP this week? Chico: I'll give it to her.
Chico: A lot more than I want to give Jimmy T right now, another victim of
Gordon: I don't think he's a victim as much as he set himself up. If you're the
'leader', you have to act like one, not annoy everyone to the point that they
want you out. Chico: Yeah, here's the thing about the Olders, though... Right now, they're a
bunch of chiefs looking for a tribe. Gordon: Everyone wants to be the chief. The problem is that if they keep losing,
they'll be no one to lead. Chico: Right. Marty was trying to be the leader, delegating... The only thing,
Jimmy T wanted to be the leader. He begged to be the leader. He pleaded to be
the leader! Gordon: Which is all well and good if they want you to lead. However, they don't
want Jimmy T to be the leader, so out he goes. Chico: I don't know about you, but after a while, it gets repetitive and
annoying. Jason: Um...don't you have to SHOW leadership? Chico: To be the leader? yeah. Gordon: A leader doesn't say it. They do it. Chico: A leader leads by example. I'm waiting for Marty to lead by example, you
know... since he's so good at faking it until you make it. It's not so much that
he's good... it's that's everyone else is bad. And if you're Marty, it's good
news. Gordon: Sort of. Again, if you run out of followers, you won't be leading anyone
for long, except leading everyone to the commissary for eliminated players. Chico: One person that may not be eliminated... Either NaOnka or Brenda, as they
find the Hidden Idol on their side of camp. Jason: Oh no. Chico: Although Brenda spills it to Chase that the Idol was found... and NaOnka...
she was just NaOnka. Jason: Again? Chico: Again. This time with Kelly B... AGAIN. Jason: How bad? Chico: It was pretty bad. Jason: Oh boy. Gordon: I think there needs to be a cage match between those two. Chico: It always come down to a cage match, doesn't it? Jason: (starts building the cage) Gordon: Those are fun! :) Jason: This is going to take a while. Chico: You know what else is fun? Getting lost. Gordon: Have you ever seen cage matches in Ghana? Chico: I've heard stories. Jason: So have I.
Chico: Today, we have coffins...
Chico: ... no, not you... Coffins... and sunglasses. Because if I think about
Ghana, I think about hot sun and dead people. Jason: That was fun and bizarre. Chico: The Amazing Race always is. Jason: I loved the coffins, and the TV challenge Chico: Not so fun for Andie & Jenna... still bizarre, though. Gordon: You had to take coffins of animals and other wild shapes and cart them
across the town. Chico: If I may be so blunt, I think it's just a matter of not having the
relationship factor working. Gordon: You have to act like a team. 2 people estranged from each other for 21
years will not be much of a good team pairing. Jason: Nope. Chico: No, though it makes for a great story. Gordon: Not to mention wondering why you would want to reconcile that way in a
very stressful environment to begin with, where strong relationships are tested. Chico: Right. I mean, you see people who are bound lifelong crumble under the
pressure. Jason: Even strong couples Chico: To think that you could have a family reunion of sorts on the Race course
is a little bit... crazy. So silly and crazy, Andie & Jenna. Jason: And gone. Chico: And gone. Also silly and crazy... Naughty & Nerdy Week on Baggage. Gordon: It is. You have the lowdown? Chico: Hell yeah. First up, Cougars. Our cub Sean is looking for an older woman
to satisfy his... primal need? These animal puns doing it? Gordon: No. Chico: ....ok. Anyway, Sean chooses Jeanette, who has a 30-year-old daughter and
three grandchildren. Sean himself is the president of an ORGY club. It's exactly
what you think it is. Gordon: NICE! Jason: Boo-yah! Chico: And to think this is only Monday's show! Gordon: Where does Jay sign up? Jason: Hey! Chico: Next... Baggage on the Beach, with Kash and three bikini clad lovelies,
one from New Zealand. I already have a favorite. And she wiiins after Kash
hears... she must clean herself after a man touches her. In that way. Jason: Interesting. Chico: Kash counters with this... his mom will always be the #1 woman in his
life. Jason: Ewwwww Chico: Not in that way. Jason: Oh, ok Chico: Next, Get Her To the Geek. Unfortunately, Gordon, Jason and Myself were
unavailable for this show. Gordon: Aw. Chico: But we do have Dave winning with this gem: "I'm uncircumsized and have 3
nipples" Now Hollie, who was on season one when she revealed that "she poisoned
a boyfriend"... has something more to tell... "She must monitor her boyfriend's
e-mails, texts, & phone calls." No one ever said baggage wasn't crazy. Jason: (backs away slowly) Chico: Thursday... Sexy Seniors. Jason. Jason: I am NOT that old. Gordon: Yes he is. Jason: Hey! Chico: :~) Romaine chooses John, who's British and thinks that he has psychic
powers. This works out well for Romaine, who must have relations 3 times a day. Jason: 3? Chico: 3. Jason: Yo. Chico: Works out fine, because John also likes it rough. Jason: Boo yeah Chico: We end the week and the season with the Bald and the Beautiful. Jason: CHICO! Chico: Bla-DOW. The Bald is David, who posed nude for a site of ill repute. Jason: Oh boy Chico: The beautiful is Melissa, whose ex still pays all the bills. And the
thing is... EVERYONE can accept everyone else's baggage for the week. Jason: Unreal. Chico: It was. A lot stayed the same, but a few twists and turns keeps it fresh,
lively, and engaging. Gordon: True. I don't think that any of them said 'I was a returning champion on
Jeopardy who landed on Millionaire'. Chico: Nope. Quoting our friend Bill McDonald, "We meet again, Mr. Vaz." Or in
this case, Dr. Vaz. Gordon: Vik Vaz becomes one of a handful of people to get through the first
round. And this is our...
Gordon: divided by 4. Chico: Thanks, G. Vik Vaz sees this for $250K... No conferring, please.
In a Parade magazine interview four years before he died, what did Dr. Seuss
call "the only book I ever wrote that still makes me laugh"?
A: Yertle the Turtle
B: Horton Hears a Who!
C: Green Eggs and Ham
D: The Cat in the Hat
Jason: C. Gordon: Usually I don't agree with Jason, but I'll say C. Chico: C... is... NOT.... what Vik said. He said A. Vik... goes back to $25,000.
It was C. Jason: Tough stuff. Chico: Very. You had to remember ... 1988. About. Jason: Yup. Gordon: So if this was Final Jeopardy. that would be the equivalent of getting
the question wrong and losing $43,100 on his wager. Ouch. Chico: Ewwww. Jason: Pretty much Gordon: So we go Full Circle. Chico: That's another episode, G. Right now, our hams are going full circle...
around and around and around... this is hypnotic, dude. Jason: (stares) Chico: Hey Gordon... roll the thing...(stares) Jason: wow... man... this is wild Gordon: Ok. Before we're here all night, Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.
(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your
frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico
Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Thanks, Doug. We're going to start with the Business End... and it's a
biggie. Jason: Do you need a big bat? Chico: I need a big bat. I need 100 bats. Gordon: (Drags in a crate of bats) Chico: Thanks.
NEW 1 vs. 100 coming, November 15.
Chico: And you'll never believe who's hosting. I know who's hosting, and I still
don't believe.....Carrie Ann Inaba. Now I was told this before the news broke,
like that morning... Obviously couldn't believe it because it was so out there,
and I wasn't going to put it on site without confirmation. Then GSN mails me,
and... boom, there it is. And I'm like... REALLY?! Jason: Me too. I am not sold yet. Chico: I mean... we'll get to the play format in a bit, but Jerry Springer. That
was fire. Jason: This is like...huh? Gordon: I don't know about Inaba as the host, but that's not the problem I have
with the show. I have a lot more issues, but I'll wait until it actually makes
the air to voice my concerns. Chico: Carnie Wilson, obviously the fire with the Newlywed Game. But Carrie Ann
Inaba, who sounds jazzed in the press junket, but when I look on her Twitter, it
was, and I got the tweet here..
"Hey - anyone like the game 1 vs. 100? Thoughts??"
Chico: That's the tweet Jason: Damn. At least fake it, won't you? Chico: Now either she's seen it and is dropping a subtle hint... or she's really
wondering what she's signing up for. Gordon: I think she has the potential to be a good hostess. Again, no one gave
Carnie a shot and she did well for herself. If I'm a game show purist and I see
the show, based on how it's configured now, Inaba will be the least of their
issues. Jason: Right. Chico: I have the money ladder. We're playing the NBC Season 2 version...
up to 9 - nothing.
up to 19 - $500
up to 29 - $750.
up to 39 - $1000
up to 49 - $1500.
up to 59 - $2500
up to 69 - $5K
up to 79 - $7500
up to 89 - $10K
up to 99 - $25K
All 100 - $50K
Jason: You have to work real hard to get that money though Chico: Oh yeah. Remember, it's only been done ONCE. Jason: I see cheap here. Chico: Especially if they're doing this five a week. But I have some good news
for Gordon in the Greenlight. Two of your favorite things... celebrities and
are shopping "Stars & Strikes", taped at the Lucky Strike at LA Live.
Gordon: I'm applying (books tickets and grabs gear) Jason: You should! Sounds like Bowling for Dollars, if you remember that show in
the 1970s Chico: or Bowling Night on ESPN. I've never been to LA Live. :-) Gordon: Have you ever been to a Datebook? Chico: Plenty of times
Hub Time! Family Game Night shows up on 10/10/10, while Pictureka shows up the
Chico: And it looks like Family Game Night will be a weekly. Pictureka, a daily.
I saw both on demand. Jason: Saw the preview Family Game Night. Loved it Chico: I have to say Pictureka's the better of the two. Family Game Night is
pretty good as well. But we'll go into more depth next week. Gordon: We'll chat more about all of that next week. Jason: Right. Chico: Right now, nothing's better than game night... except Fully Loaded GSNN
game night. (maybe next time we're out in LA... ) Jason: (hic) Chico: Now you may notice that the GSNN logo has a pink ribbon on it. Jason: I do.
does GSN, as every Oodle earned during the month of October can go toward the
Breast Cancer Research Foundation.
Jason: Good on GSN for that one. Chico: Very good; you can participate by being a member of GSN.com, and then
going to GSN.com/bcrf. Go there. Play. Donate. Protect the boobies. Gordon: Yes. And we go from very good boobies to very, very bad boobies...
Are YOU Smarter than...Well, just watch.
Chico: Now this happened last week on the Feud. Gems: a word that starts with "para"..
"paraeducator." Jason: And the penis :) The reaction is GOLDEN. Chico: Would be "part of the body that's bigger than it was when you were 16"
according to 100 men. This is Steve Harvey on a good day, folks. Jason: This was a great moment. Funny as hell. Chico: I think we need to pray for some of these people... Gordon: No. You need to pray for this guy while drinking your Haterade...
Adam Jasinski, Big Brother 9 Winner, is a courtroom loser as he pleads guilty to
a drug charge and failing to file a tax return.
Jason: You knew this was coming. Chico: He's gon' git it! Jason: He's such a (bleep) Gordon: Jason needs a vacation. Jason: You ain't kidding. LOL Chico: Yeah. Let's send him on a Turkish delight. Turkish delight... Turkish
Haterade... Turkish zombie.
Carkifelek is the Turkish edition of Wheel of Fortune. It's just been pulled off
of TV because the host, one Mehmet Ali Erbil, used a very bad term for a group
of Muslims that implied that they were involved in incestuous relations.
Jason: WHOA! Not cool. Chico: Understatement to Mr. Block. Jason: That's just insane. How do you do that? Chico: I don't know. Jason: Maybe you replace the host...but the whole show? Chico: The whole damn show. Gordon: You know between all this racial stuff, religious stuff and gay stuff,
we're just full of global intolerance this week. Jason: This is 2010 right? Chico: I know, right! We're supposed to be better than that! It's 2000 (bleep)ing
damned 10, people! Get your head right! Gordon: You think only 9 years after September 11th, we would have learned
something by now. Chico: Heh. We learned something... for like two weeks. Gordon: ...We could always learn about hoes, I guess. Sigh. Chico: I guess. Jason: Yeah. Chico: *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"*
In this weeks Media Ho Report, Bob Eubanks puts his home for sale, Rich
talks about his dismissal, a Ryan Seacrest and J-Lo feud allegedly starts to
emerge on the Idol Set...
Chico: Allegedly. Jason: Yes, Allegedly.
Mark Ballas has a new woman, Wayne Brady plays Vegas, Joey Fatone hosts Let's
Make a Deal Live at Foxwoods from Oct 28-Nov 13...
Chico: Pre-eminent talent of our generation, sirs.
Lee DeWyze's albums shows up November 16, David and Poppi from The Apprentice
are dating (so much for trying to reconnect with your old family, David), and
Tim Gunn speaks of his own suicide attempt.
Gordon: But none of them is your ho of the week. Jason: Who is? Gordon: Mr. Seacrest, who also has a supposed engagement with Julianne Hough and
a supposed quest to create a new cable network. Chico: Along the veins of Oprah's, only not as visible. This isn't going to be
the Ryan Seacrest network. This is going to be the Seacrest Network as much as
Current was the Al Gore Network, if you follow. Jason: I do Gordon: And those...are your hoes. Chico: And that's Brainvision. Shut it off, J. Jason: (shutting down) Chico: Still to come... GSNN isn't the only place looking for help. But first...
lighthearted comparisons and contrasts, and if we're lucky, someone throws a
chair or a punch. Jason: lol Gordon: This is WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you 22 bad wager
plans on Jeopardy. Chico: $TEXAS. Gordon: Betting $399 on a Daily Double when you're trailing by $400. Betting it
all on a Lock Game...Betting like Jason Block did earlier on in the show... Jason: Hey!
(Brainvision is presented by Acme Wall Holes. The most fillable wall holes in
the business since 2009.)