Episode 25.5 - Zombie Walk
October 18

Chico: This is Chico Alexander...
Gordon: HI, Chico Alexander.
Chico: ...and I want Carrie Prejean to go away and never come back. That's never going to happen, isnt it?
Gordon: No, but a lot of people are leaving our TV set this week.
Chico: Aww. who did you have in mind?
Gordon: The eliminated. (Points)
Chico: And we're going over it, aren't we?
Gordon: We are. They sort of look like zombies. They grow in number, and they have a voracious appetite for human air time.
Chico: Then grab a shotgun... because from somewhere in America... WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: I don't think a shotgun is necessary, but maybe a barricade is. Gordon Pepper here,
Chico: Hi, Gordon Pepper here.
Gordon: ... and we start our eliminated tour with an island hopper.



Chico: This week on Survivor was the requisite switchoff. And such a move might've proved deadly for NaOnka... were it not for Tyrone stretching the losing streak of Espada.
Gordon: And Tyrone has no one to blame but himself on this one. It goes back to the 'who wants to be leader' syndrome. Haven't people learned that the position of leader in Survivor is the LAST thing you want?
Chico: Especially this early. What you really want to be is dirty... as in "do all the work that no one else will". Why are people so eager to get out in the open?
Gordon: Exactly. And don't eat too much chicken.
Chico: Bawk. And DON'T muck the Immunity Challenge.
Gordon: Though I wonder, why not just kill off the rooster. You don't need the rooster to make eggs.
Chico: No, you just need hens...
Gordon: And hence, the rest of the tribe was egged on to knock off Tyrone.
Chico: You could say he cracked under the pressure.
Gordon: He was feeling a little shell shocked.
Chico: But if one other thing boiled from the events of his episode, it would be that the power team of NaOnka and the Mouth from South Florida was broken up. Thoughts?
Gordon: I don't think that's going to make a difference yet. This reminds me a lot of Survivor: Africa, where in a tribal split, one team pagonged the existence of the other team. I see the same thing happening here, with the old ones getting booted out one by one.
Chico: It's Logan's Run all over again! Yay! Right down the age gradient!



Gordon: Ha! I think that in order for any old geezers to get to the merge, they would have to 1. Find the cracks in the young group and 2. The young group would need enough numbers that they could get rid of one of their own and not be part of the minority. That's going to be a very very tough order.
Chico: Also, one of the old ones is going to have to jump rank to someone who is a viable candidate. If you can do something, then ally with someone who can't, then the resulting power is almost doubled. You know what I mean?
Gordon: Exactly. The problem here is that I don't see any of the elders as a candidate to do it.
Chico: I think the ages are going to stick with their own for the time being, barring unforeseen circumstances, but given this particular batch of morons,... stranger things have happened. Someone's going to be forced to make a play. Just watch.
Gordon: True. What about people being forced to dance?



Chico: I didn't think you'd have to be forced to dance, but then again, I thought I was going home this week. Instead, the Situation had... a situation.
Gordon: In a move that surprised no one (except maybe himself) the Situation has found himself situated outside the dance floor.
Chico: Surprised is putting it lightly. In this particular phase of the competition, the Situation was basically his own worst enemy.
Gordon: After getting low scores, Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino pouted, then left, then pouted some more in the parking lot.
Chico: Saying something to the effect, if I recall correctly, of "I worked my butt off this week." Newsflash, genius. So did everyone else.
Gordon: Then the audience sent him packing. If you need sympathy, arguing with the judges won't get you that. You need to cry and throw yourself on your sword.
Chico: Or faint. Fainting will also help. But yeah, it's all about having a little bit of class. After all, DWTS is a very classy show. Tom and Brooke are classy people... Len, Carrie Ann & Bruno... well, jury's out on Len, but Carrie Ann & Bruno are classy people
Gordon: Yes. The people who were sent off for the past month (Bolton, Cho, Sorrentino) failed to supply such class, which may have contributed to them leaving.
Chico: The people that watch the show are classy people. The cream will rise to the top. Then the competition will begin. If you can't laugh at your foibles... Then how in the world will you expect to survive getting that half of the score? Not possible.
Gordon: We're not yet at the competition point. We still need to get rid of some chaff. But we'll get there.
Chico: Does that mean Bristol's going next?
Gordon: Barring moments of stupidity from anyone else, Bristol or Florence, yes.
Chico: I could say something about how she came into being a "star", but I'm classy, so I'll shut up. Show my class up in here.
Gordon: We do not need Jason Elliott yanking us off the internet for political reasons. Not when we have given him so many other reasons for him to yank us off.
Chico: Ba DUM bum. So yeah, if you want to survive Dancing, be classy.
Gordon: Jeopardy, for the most part, is also classy.
Chico: Very much so.
Gordon: So let's move from Dancing to Trivia. We had Jeopardy's 6,000th episode this past week.
Chico: 1984 was a long time ago.
Gordon: Yes indeed. And they've stayed classy.
Chico: So far, the classiest of the group has been Sara Wilkinson, another in a line of incredibly smart Georgians who humble their competitions. Her first game... not even close. The other two, those were a bit more interesting to watch. But she takes #6000 for $27,700 more on this Final. Gordon, no conferring with... yourself. The Final Jeopardy! category is US Presidents.

He was the first US President to be elected in an Olympic year.

Gordon: Ok. Let's look at this logically.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: When was the first Olympics?
Chico: 1896. Athens.
Gordon: So hence, it would have to be McKinley, as in William McKinley
Chico: Right!
Gordon: Whoo hoo!
Chico: No joker answer? I'm a bit surprised. I thought you were going to say Spiridon Louis after winning the first ever Olympic marathon.
Gordon: I don't have a foil with Jason this week.
Chico: Ah. No fun.
Gordon: It's fun for Sara, who now has over $72,000 in winnings.
Chico: She'll take every penny of that into Monday's show.
Gordon: She sure will. You could consider that her game show portfloio, could you ont?
Chico: Yes I would.
Gordon: Wade and Gene will both be walking off their shows with something much less substantial.
Chico: Nothin'?
Gordon: That would be Nuttin'.



Chico: Tell us what happened.
Gordon: We have a Project-Runway-styled challenge, with both groups setting up a fashion show to promote Rockport Shoes.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: The ladies did a bang-up job. The men just banged up.
Chico: Must've been a hell of a bang-up, since two people were fired.
Gordon: The key here was the verbal presentation. Brandy, despite no experience Emcee-ing, did a great job. Gene, despite claiming to have years of experience, was brutal behind the mike, so he gets booted, as does Project Manager Wade.
Chico: So lack of leadership AND lack of effectual skill, both of which are paramount in "The Apprentice". You can't win without ether.
Gordon: Pretty much. He should have been clued in during the rehearsal that Gene was awful. In addition, David, who was supposed to have co-hosted it, wisely didn't participate and left Gene out there by himself to get booted.
Chico: So a little underhandedness there. Just a teense.
Gordon: Well, yes and no. It's underhanded, but he saw what was coming and didn't want to be blamed for the loss. I don't blame him.
Chico: I don't blame him either. He saw a bad business play and said, "You know what? I don't want any of it."
Gordon: Exactly. But he is the loose cannon of the show. He's not going to win, but the people who are left have to figure out how to dispose of him. Big Bored please?

Gordon: The Subject: What Do I Do With a Problem like David?
Chico: Okay John Barrowman, handle this.
Gordon: 1. Let him have enough rope to hang himself. You have to assign him to what he wants to do and let him fail. You need him to be an allly, not a distraction. Having him mope around while sending him to the sidelines will only make it worse for you.
Chico: Right
Gordon: 2. Don't give him an out. The failure MUST be on his aspect of the challenge. Everything else must be running smoothly, because he's going to try to find any angle he can.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: 3. Don't focus on eliminating him from the competition. Focus on completing the task and again, give David what he wants. If you give him his element and that's the problem, then it's his to win or lose.
Chico: Throw him into the water and see if he can swim. So if David succeeds, then the team succeeds. IF David fails, then all bets are off, basically.
Gordon: Right. 4. Get a team backing. It's going to be really hard for The Donald to fire anyone else if every single person points at David. Even if you win, still point the finger at David to set him up for his eventual boot. Every other time David's been on the block, there's been someone bringing up someone else's name. That can't happen if you want him gone.
Chico: You have to silently build a coalition if you want to put someone in focus.
Gordon: Right. Finally: #5. And this is going to seem weird, but...win the challenge. If you can show that you were able to put it together despite having him on the team, you will have a HUGE advantage for the rest of the series.
Chico: That's just logic talking now.
Gordon: Very true. Does logic dictate a perfect show on The Price is Right?
Chico: Nowadays... Yes. Which would explain why we haven't had one this season YET. We did have a Double Showcase Win, though. which is still impressive.
Gordon: Very much so.
Chico: It happened on Thursday's show with this prize package...

A home fitness room with elliptical (my favorite), a treadmill & freeweights, a wellness cruise of the Bahamas, and a Dodge Nitro.

Chico: Gordon, take a stab at this.
Gordon: I like that. I would usually say $34,069, but we'll go $34,068. Cause it doesn't suck.
Chico: It only almost sucks.
Gordon: A wellness cruise? What the heck is that?
Chico: I'm guessing low-cal... running every day on the sky deck or something. With no casino.
Gordon: The no casino part sucks. But the Nitro is nice, so I'll keep the bid. And I like me some weights.
Chico: You need to get you some.
Gordon: Back to the 'wellness' cruise for a second. If I'm going on a cruise with all the bacteria in the food and with all the germs being confined to a boat, you may as well call it a sickness cruise, because by the end of it, I'll probably be sick.
Chico: Luckily on cruise ships nowadays, there's no shortage of hand sanitizer.
Gordon: What about plastic germ-free body bubbles?
Chico: Okay Howie.. you want to know how much you'd pay for all of this? $34,202. Tiffany Tzi bid $34,000 even and won.
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: So she gets THAT... and a new kitchen, dinners for a year, trips to NYC and Copenhagen... Combined with her one-bid on a bar set, she wins $57,656... and... This.



Gordon: Very shiny.
Chico: Shiny indeed. One place she won't go: Ghana, West Africa...
Gordon: Can you find it on a map?
Chico: Yep *points to it*
Gordon: I actually did a report on Ghana, so I know where it is. Other teams though....don't.



Gordon: Chico, the Map of Africa, please.



Chico: As you can see, Ghana is next to Cote d'Ivoire... Right below Burkina Faso... on the Atlantic Ocean.
Gordon: I see it. Hi Ghana! (waves)
Chico: So the question is... why couldn't the Racers point it out? I mean you would think, given how long the Race was going on TV, you'd KNOW where you were going.
Gordon: And the reason why not is because, as we've said before, NONE of them are Smarter than a 5th grader (wheels in blackboard)
Chico: Little early for that.
Gordon: (Wheels out blackboard)
Chico: Thank you.
Gordon: Not to mention that Africa has been the focus of the world cup for the whole Spring and Summer seasons. (Granted, the World Cup wasn't in Ghana, but there's been enough maps of Africa being shown that you could have figured it out.)
Chico: To defend the Racers, the show was taped before the World Cup.
Gordon: To not defend the racers, the qualifications to get into the World Cup was for the past2 years. So unless the series was taped 2 years ago...defend that, sir.
Chico: Okay. It wasn't. I would figure that Michael & Kevin were smart enough, or at least web-savvy enough to figure out... get a map beforehand. Study it. Two years ago, we were all looking at China and a swimmer by the name of Michael Phelps. Again, just as a defense. Back to Michael & Kevin, though. I figured they had a map memorized or prepped just in case. Guess not.
Gordon: If you're going on, of all things, a show based on GEOGRAPHY, it may behoove you to actually learn about the world you live in.
Chico: Hell, Caite Upton did. Eventually.
Gordon: Somewhat. Even the hamsters are smart. They marked exactly where Ghana is with little swaths of fur.
Chico: They however defecate all over Michael & Kevin because it was a non-elimination round.
Gordon: That's why they decorated the map with fur and not pellets.
Chico: Right. Gordon... Do that thing.
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Gordon: ok. We start with a Datebook this week.

Believe it or not - no new shows this week. But the Yankees are on TV, so we got plenty of fun times ahead. Because of the Yankees, no Hell's Kitchen. And also because of Fox, no Hell's Kitchen in Yankees country. Unless you have Verizon FiOS or TWC. And because of the stupid idiotic Cablevision fight thing, Gordon will be watching the Yankees in some sort of skanky bar off of Route 4 in Hackensack, somewhere.

Chico: Or you could take the subway to Jason Block's house.
Gordon: I can't subway it over to Jay's house. I need a car, then a subway, then a chocobo.
Chico: An update in the Business End, as talks were suspended indefinitely. This from Cablevision...

“It is shameful for News Corp. to use Major League Baseball and NFL games to hold viewers hostage in order to extract tens of millions from Cablevision customers. We have accepted the bipartisan calls from scores of political leaders to reach a fair agreement through binding arbitration, and demand that News Corp. also agree and immediately return its Fox programming to Cablevision customers.” -Charles Schueler, EVP Cablevision

Gordon: We really can't figure out how to dispense billions of dollars? really?
Chico: You would think that this would be rocket science by now. Nobody wins in this sort of thing. Ask anyone. ANYONE. TCI, Cablevision, Time Warner, Bright House... Viacom, Disney... NOBODY WINS.
Gordon: And then when people file for bankruptcy and claim loss of viewers, they can point to this and say here's why.
Chico: I don't buy it. And anyone with a brain wouldn't buy it either. And then they try to shirk responsibility, saying.. well, it's all the cabler's fault. They hold all the cards. NONSENSE.
Gordon: I actually think Cablevision, trying to protect their subscribers, is doing the right thing here.
Chico: Remind me again what rank the New York City metro ranks in DMAs, since you're from the New York City metro...
Gordon: That would be... #1.
Chico: That's a lot of people... Compared to the mid-market #28 that I live in, Raleigh... Good for hockey, bad for TV. You would imagine that a lot of viewers watching Fox on cable with a major sporting event involving a team based in New York that there would be an adverse effect of some sort.
Gordon: I've got a different 'We're #1' sign for FOX. (Hand gestures)
Chico: Is it in green lights? Seriously, this one made me go "You Greenlit THAT?"

ABC, having divined NOTHING from the disaster of the SYTYCD fall season or the Big Brother spring season, has ordered a winter season of its summer flagship "Wipeout".

Gordon: That's part 1 of the ABC disaster in the making; give them part 2 also.
Chico: And I have part 2.

The people who brought you "Dancing with the Stars" are bringing you... "Skating with the Stars"!

Chico: Now I've seen something vaguely similar to this a long time ago... that leads me to believe... that this will not work.
Gordon: Now Chico.
Chico: YES, Gordon.
Gordon: How did FOX's Celebrity Skating show do?
Chico: Not too good. Though I did get to see Kristy Swanson in spandex again, so it wasn't a total loss.
Gordon: How did ABC's 'Thin Ice' do?
Chico: Buried on Friday nights.
Gordon: How can you see this not going in any other direction besides downwards?
Chico: I don't know! Back to Wipeout. I mean, it's going to be winter-themed, but Wipeout is NOT a winter show. In fact, that's about as far from a winter show as you can possibly get.
Gordon: I can see it working, as long as they don't put it up against any of the powerhouses. As we have seen time and time again, if you put any stand-alone up against a continual series, the continual series wins.
Chico: The winter is loaded with powerhouses. The Bachelor, in fact, is going to launch in January. Did I just snipe a Greenlight bonus? I think I did!



Gordon: With your buddy Brad Womack as the lead.
Chico: Oh joy. Oh bliss. I'm jumping out of my skin here.
Gordon: How's that Brad Womack Wall poster doing?
Chico: There's a Hole in the Wall poster. I did it again!
Gordon: Awesome. So you're dumb enough to make holes in your poster.
Chico: No, it's just that I've run into the wall so much it's got a hole in it. But this person might be dumb enough. Mind if I?
Gordon: You may.

Are You Smarter Than... Nicole Baldrich, who on Friday's TPIR, was presented with a Showcase of rock climbing gear, a trip to Australia, and a Jeep Wrangler Sport. Her bid on a showcase worth $32,000 was... $84,000. She's off by only about $52,000.

Chico: I'm not certain, but I believe that's the highest anyone has ever bid on a daytime Showcase.
Gordon: I know there's been worse, but that's pretty bad. Maybe she thought they shipped the jeep off from Australia and service charges are added.
Chico: Maybe it's in Australian dollars.
Gordon: Maybe. But I'll ask Tom Dwan to pay the expenses on it.
Chico: Maybe.
Gordon: Here's some Haterade.

The biggest pot in Poker After Dark History goes to Dwan, as he wins Trip Kings over Trip 10's on Patrick Antonius. $561,800 worth of pot goes to Dwan. Over $250,000 of that used to belong to Antonius, who leaves the table after that.

Chico: Now imagine that you're in the game for $500,000. Then you bust. Then you play another $250,000. And you're just hovering around that. And finally, $561,800. You're still stuck about $100K, but in the grand scheme of things...
Gordon: Grand scheme of things, when you were down over a half mil, you'll be happy with being down $100,000.
Chico: Yep. Call it a win and be done with it. Of course, this was the Thursday show, so there's still time to get the rest of your money back. OR lose it. First 10 minutes, Tom plays a big bet on the river against Eli. Eli has the winning hand with queens over 9s and mucks it. That pot: $215,800. And he's not done yet. He takes a $46,600 pot on queens. He's approaching even. Final hand goes three ways with David Peat, Gabe Kaplan, and Tom... Flop is 7-10-J. Gabe has middle pair. Tom has bottom pair. David has... nothing. Checks. Turn: Js: Gabe bets $6000. Tom calls. River: 7c. That's 7s full for Tom. He ends the week in profit.
Gordon: That is impressive.
Chico: Remember, he was down half a mill. Now he makes ALL of his money back.
Gordon: That's why he's one of the best. And he deserves to get fully loaded.
Chico: I'll drink to that.

Family Feud is now on iTunes. You're just 99c away from all the answers, all the questions, all the Fast Money. No Steve Harvey (aww) in HD.

Chico: That's the good loaded. Now the BAD loaded.

5th Grader and Lyrics took a hit this week.

Chico: A hard one. Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader's second week is DOWN 31% to a 0.9. Lyrics' week 2 is down from week 1, 11% to 0.8. That's not good. You know HOW not good it is? CMT actually moved the primetime showing OUT of primetime and into the crack of midnight.
Gordon: So in other words...



Chico: Right. Remember what happened to Deal Or No Deal in season 2 after a spectacular season 1?
Gordon: Well that's what happens when you screw around with 1. The Format or 2. The contestant. DOND was a victim of the latter, and 5th grader the former.
Chico: I was thinking "5th Grader... yes."
Gordon: If it's not broken. DON'T fix it.
Chico: That's why Jeopardy! is on for 6000.
Gordon: Now you have something broken and it's beyond repair. And believe it or not, media hoes do NOT make it all better. Though they are fun to watch.
Chico: But do they look good on a couch.
Gordon: They do. Got anything for the couch?
Chico: You know I do. Also a bit of Haterade with this. You remember "Money Drop", right?
Gordon: I do, yes. May it never grace our screen in the U.S.
Chico: Well...

It's recasting. They shot it... Now they're RE-shooting it. If you live in or are planning to visit Southern California, call Mystic Art Pictures at 818-563-4131 or go to mysticartpictures.com. And since it's Fox, a dynamic personality, a compelling backstory, and the affinity to jump, kick, and scream on command is a plus.

Gordon: The old contestants weren't bouncy enough?
Chico: So it would appear.
Gordon: Well then make sure you're all bouncier!
Chico: And the ultimate in Haterade? You know who hosted it first? Kevin Pollak.
Gordon: That would be the same host of the failed never made it to the airwaves 'Our Little Genius'. Yipes.
Chico: That can't be good. And the report from our friends at HollywoodJunket.com: "He was all right. I've seen better." That's usually code for "Dear God almighty he sucks." As for the reshoot, apparently Fox wants someone to break six figures, because the report says that the biggest amount given away was $80K. Most everyone else left with nothing.
Gordon: There's the big problem with the format.
Chico: So yes, this does not bode well for the Million Dollar Money Drop. Even the rename is clunky. It's just a whole lot of clunky.
Gordon: The whole sucky concept, which is a clone from every other game show, needs to be shot from one of those Amazing Race watermelon catapults.
Chico: Ow. Anyway, onto the hoes! (plays "Pimpin' All OVer the World") Whatcha got, G.
Gordon: I got some hoes.

Millionaire has Pawn Stars, Jonathan Torrens hosts the Canadian version of Wipeout, Jillian Michael is accused of being a fraud...

Chico: And says "How dare you call me a fraud."

Andrew G hosts Live To Dance, TJ Lavin is in a coma after an accident (feel better, TJ) and Adam Lambert promises not to offend during his performance in Malaysia.

Chico: Well there goes the fun factor.
Gordon: But none of them are your hoes of the week.
Chico: And what have you this week?
Gordon: I have a whole bunch of hoes, like Lisa Rinna, Dionne Warwick, Star Jones, Mark McGrath, and La Toya Jackson,
Chico: Ah, the next cast of "Celebrity Apprentice" (or if you're taking score, season 11)
Gordon: You are correct sir. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And finally, let's go Global. India?
Gordon: Bali-Hai!

Amitabh Bachchan celebrated his 68th birthday on the set of their version of Millionaire, and it was a big hit for all involved.

Gordon: Yay!
Chico: On the converse, in Germany...

The Money Drop audience was literally held captive while the show shot and did all the other logistical craziness during shows.

Gordon: I thought it was 'The Money Drop', not 'Don't Let The Audience Escape'.
Chico: Because this is how you do a game show in the 21st century. It's a fortress of bureaucracy and story telling, and it takes 8 hours to finish ONE SHOW!
Gordon: And if you guys think we're kidding, ask the people who went through the first U.S. taping of Deal or No Deal. Mike Klauss gave us horror stories.
Chico: Yep
Gordon: And that's Brainvision. Shut it Down.
Chico: Got it. Still to come, a lot of stuff is on my recordy box... and probably on yours. But what does it say about you?
Gordon: It says we need a commercial.
Chico: But first... we take a trip to where the red people live.
Gordon: Mars?
Chico: No. Whammyville on the way. This is WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, we'll give you 22 blanks in need of words in Gordon's favorite song, which this week is...
Gordon: Dirty Pictures, by Taio Cruz featuring Ke$ha :)
Chico: NICE.

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