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Episode 25.9 - 5:39
November 15
Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and sometimes, we
are just really excited to do a show for you guys.
Chico: And sometimes we can get a little too excited.
Gordon: So much so that (checks watch)...we get up at 5am. Just for you.
Chico: Actually, as we are taping this right now, it's 5:39 in the morning.
Gordon: But there's a lot that went on this week. That's why it's exciting.
Chico: I haven't had breakfast and/or coffee yet and I'm pretty sure neither has
Gordon.
Gordon: Nope. We're both crab apples.
Chico: And that's different from any other time... how much?
Gordon: Usually we have had some coffee by now.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: But this should be at least entertaining. Are you ready to entertain?
Chico: Let's see how entertaining. I'm Chico Alexander, and from somewhere in
America... WLTI... is... ON! *plays "Let Me Entertain You"* Lots of stuff to go
over, our standard roster of morons, plus we pick the Jeopardy! College champ
against the spread and the one woman who's been on EVERYONE's mind this week.
She's one "L" of a player. But first, I think we've had the best and the worst
TPIR moment of the season this week. Now Thursday was Veterans Day... and we
salute all the warriors fighting both here and overseas. Because of them, we get
to do what we do. And on the Thursday TPIR, we get Price Salutes the Military
III.
Gordon: Now we love the fact that The Price is Right does this every single
year.
Chico: Yes we do
Gordon: HOWEVER, what's the usual record on these sort of 'special' shows?
Chico: Bad.
Gordon: Usually it's a challenge to get to 2 wins.
Chico: Now the record on this particular show wasn't bad... In fact, we got two
wins and a bailout, but it was the bailout that had everyone talking.
Gordon: Well, at 2-3-1 it's not great, but the '1', if it turned into a 3 on the
win side, would have been worth a lot of money. The game was Pay The Rent. The
player was Zachary Garrison.
Chico: Okay, I'll give you the products, you give me the proper placement.
Chico: *baby crying*
Gordon: Poor baby. Now remember what we said in the
primer.
Chico: The most expensive item goes on the top. Get an idea of that before going
any further.
Gordon: Right. The most expensive product here is obviously the Neosporin. Let's
put the Neosporin on top
Chico: Neosporin on top. Okay, G. Play it out.
Gordon: Lot of cheap items in this group. The chips are in the jumbo bag, so
that makes them the third most expensive. Put them at the bottom.
Chico: Chips on the bottom.
Gordon: Eye pencil needs to be paired with the baby food, as they are the most
expensive and cheapest item left.
Chico: And that leaves...
Gordon: Juice and pancake mix. Put that over the eye pencil and baby food.
Chico: So Chips, The eye pencil and the baby food, the pancakes and juice, and
the Neo-to-go. That's what Zachary had.
Gordon: And Zachary seems like a smart guy.
Chico: He was... right up until he decided to bail with $10,000. Ground floor
was $3.99. Eye pencil was $4.99, baby food was 79c. Total: 5.78. Pancakes were
$2.99; juice was $3.39 for a total of $6.38. And the Neosporin was $6.79.
Zachary had it!
Gordon: The second that he had the $6,38, he should have gone for it. But that
being said, it's tough to say no to $10,000.
Chico: It really is. You need a pair of brass ones to give it up. But I
would've. Neosporin with $6.38 showing? That's a go.
Gordon: I agree, the top number wasn't outrageous. But $10,000 is still a nice
sum of change. And let's put it this way. The $10,000 was more than the TOTAL
given out on the day before's show.
Chico: It was the kinda show that Gordon likes to watch and the TPIR bean
counters like to ensure happening.
Gordon: It was a beautiful disaster.
Chico: The perfect storm of crap, as it were. We had brave but foolish
contestants, most games based on chance... and two cheapy Showcases.
Gordon: Yes, 3 of those games should have been won. Instead, we get a skunking.
Chico: And the Double Overbid.
Gordon: Yes, So the show moves from a skunk to a dead turkey.
Chico: Roadkill!
Gordon: Yes. And I mean DEAD. The $7,314 that was won is the lowest in MODERN
DAY FRANCHISE HISTORY.
Chico: Usually, the good players can take that home total.
Gordon: I mean we had a loss in Bonus Game, for crying out loud.
Chico: I'm looking at the lineup... Dice Game... Bonus Game... and It's In the
Bag were very winnable.
Gordon: They were. And hence, we crown this episode with the famous clip by Jim
Mora. Roll that clip again, please.
Gordon: So we move on from people who can't price to people who can't read.
Chico: The Icks finally get sick. But it was Michael & Kevin Wu who log off in
Russia.
Gordon: Now last time I checked, one of the basic skills we were taught is the
ability to read.
Chico: Reading is fundamental.
Gordon: So when it says to WALK to your destination, what are we not supposed to
do?
Chico: Take a car. We call this "The Heather and Eve Rule *pulls out the Game
Show Rule Book*.
Gordon: Heather and Eve being the first team eliminated for not reading said
rules. And to make it worse, they were both Ivy Leaguers in college.
Chico: Right. Rule TAR3.14, the "Heather & Eve" Rule: a walk in the context of
the Amazing Race means to travel by foot from the point of the clue to the goal
of the clue, without any assistance short of engaging the locals for directions.
That sound legal enough?
Gordon: Clear as crystal.
Chico: Rules for Game Shows and Life... very handy book to have. =p Now tell me
what brought this up.
Gordon: Michael and Kevin violate this rule not once, but twice. Hence they
suffer a pair of 30 minute penalties. Other teams don't read the rules either,
as Brooke and Claire take a cab (though they go back and don't get penalized),
as does Vick and Nick - and they DO get penalized. However, they only get
penalized for 30 minutes, and that allows them to escape this leg of the race.
Chico: By a hair. So they didn't so much win a bit as Michael & Kevin lost a
little bit harder. Now you figure that those two are pretty intelligent blokes,
so why couldn't they read the clues properly?
Gordon: I have no idea. Can we play the Jim Mora clip again?
Chico: And a bonus.
Gordon: Yeah. No more playoffs for Michael and Kevin.
Chico: Yep. and that's a perfect segue into the Jeopardy!... This week, it's
tourney time.
Gordon: Tourney Time is fun time.
Chico: Very fun. And I'll tell you, they picked 15 of the best this year. I
really didn't want to see any of them lose, but you had to cut the field to
nine. I mean, five final Jeopardys... not one of them missed. This is going to
be a great week upcoming I think.
Gordon: I agree with that. But as we always do, it's time to pick your Jeopardy
pony.
2010B College Championship Against
the Spread
- Chico: Marshall vs. Steve vs. Sid
- Gordon: Erin vs. Hans vs. Sid
Chico: This is 2010B College Championship Against the Spread. The first match is
Monday... Kyle Kahan vs. Marshall Flores vs. Erin McLean. Kyle enters as a wild
card. Marshall and Erin win their matches.
Gordon: I'll say Erin. She was scary good.
Chico: I'm going to say that Marshall had a flow going into his quarterfinal
match that Erin didn't, so I'm picking HIM. Erin may have been scary good, but
she only had a late-game surge. And because of that, it was close. I don't think
Marshall's going to make it that close.
Gordon: She knows how to win. And it was a tough opening round with all 3 people
finishing at $17,000+ in the first round
Chico: So you have Erin, I have Marshall. Watch Kyle surprise everyone.
Gordon: Probably. Next one?
Chico: Tuesday: Steve Greene vs. Ellen Eichner vs. Hans von Walter
Gordon: I'll go with Hans.
Chico: Steve is a Wild Card as is Hans. The good news for Steve... he's not
going up against Sid.
Gordon: True. Steve was also scary good.
Chico: And as good as Ellen was against her opponents, chalk this one up to luck
of the draw. I think Steve gets into the final, but the head-to-head with Hans
oughta be righteous.
Gordon: Should be fun. Last one?
Chico: Last one. Sid Chandrasekhar vs. Lea Tottle vs. Sam Spaulding. Lea is a
wild card. I don't usually do this... Sam is from Yale. But he's from
Wilmington. I'm going against the Tar Heel in this case. Sid FTW. Sam had the lock, I don't think he gets another.
Gordon: Yeah. This could be Sid's competition to lose. Sid was downright
dominant. But that being said, when the lowest wildcard has over $15,000, it's
anyone's game here.
Chico: Agreed. this is going to be the week of the metagame here. Not only who's
the smartest, but who's the more savvy better.
Gordon: Agreed. And speaking of savvy, how's about solving a Wheel of Fortune
Puzzle with only 1 letter shown?
Chico: O ?
Gordon: L
Chico: I C.
Gordon: U C?
Chico: Tell us all about it.
Gordon: I think it's better to show it. You got the clip?
Chico: I C Caitlin Burke going crazy on the board. You want to see?
Gordon: Si
Chico: Run it back one time, video man.
Gordon: Now 2 questions have come up here. #1. Is it fixed? and #2. How did she
do that?
Chico: And the interesting thing is... after she solved I'VE GOT A GOOD FEELING
ABOUT THIS, she wanted to know where she was going, as this was a Prize Puzzle.
Gordon: Which is why she solved it quickly.
Chico: Now the two questions... 1) I've read ensuing article after ensuing
article... I'm pretty sure it isn't fixed, and 2) ... It's possible that someone
could just be good at Wheel of Fortune. And Caitlin's just... good. I mean, we
get a lot of "Wheel of Stupid People" jokes around here, all
of which Gordon HATES, by the way... But if you think about it.. it takes a bit
of nuance in order to beat the Wheel of Fortune.
Gordon: #1. It's not fixed. If it was, she would have waited for a while before
solving. The idea of the show is to make a lot of money. If it was fixed, she
would have called off a G (as there were 3 of those). #2. And you have to
remember this - the longer the puzzle, the EASIER it is to solve it, not harder.
Why? Because there's only
a certain number of word combinations needed to solve a puzzle. I've solved long
word puzzles with 1 or even 0 letters on the board.
Chico: And it has an apostrophe, which helps you out a bit.
Gordon: Right. With the L already called, the predominant choice of first word
is going to be I'VE
Chico: Then there's the single letter word.
Gordon: Right
Chico: It's either A or I. But with I'VE as the first word, it's probably A.
Gordon: SO I've _ _ _ A. It could be I've Got A, then you can just fill in the
rest.
Chico: Then there's a category "Phrase". So if you think about it, we have I'VE
GOT A ---- ---L--- ----- ---- Then Caitlin's mind goes absolutely crazy until...
I'VE GOT A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS. And if you read all of what she had to say,
you can tell she came into this prepared. So no, the game wasn't fixed.
Chico: Caitlin simply hacked it.
Gordon: She sure did. Nice job by Caitlin. Nice job by Kurt as well, but not
nice enough.
Gordon: Kurt Warner is out. That leaves us with 4.
Chico: The two best and the two worst.
Gordon: Jennifer Grey (who everyone saw coming), Brandy (who Chico and I saw
coming), Kyle
(who I also saw coming. Go me) and Bristol (who NO ONE saw coming). Chico also
saw Brandy. Now explain Bristol to me.
Chico: One word.... Mommanems. She's single-handedly managed to game the formula
by... well, staying present.
Gordon: Aka the Republicans from the South. Who VOTE.
Chico: This just goes to show you again, taking the simplicities of the
system and turning it in their head. The question now... now that we're down to
the final four, will the ship self right? Or will you look at the others and
split the vote accordingly?
Gordon: I don't know. If the Tea Party is taking it to the extreme - and it
seems like they are, then this could be politically based. And if it is, then
Bristol could very well win this.
Chico: Which, if you ask me, is not really fair. But a man much wiser than I
once said, "give the public the vote, live with the decision."
Gordon: I don't disagree. That being said, it will be interesting to see how it
plays out.
Chico: Yep. I still think that ultimately the voting public will come to its
senses and give the title to the person who's the most deserving, otherwise here
comes the backlash... "It's a popularity contest with a dancing motif."
Gordon: If Bristol Palin wins, that could spell trouble for the franchise.
Chico: I can imagine where people would have a problem with this, but if they
didn't mind the ringer winning (Nicole Scherzinger)... I think we'll survive
this.
Gordon: But the ringer deserved to win. Tell me that Bristol deserves to win
over Jennifer Gray or Brandy - or even Kyle.
Chico: Can't do it.
Gordon: Can you tell me that Marty deserves to win Survivor?
Chico: Honestly? You were to ask me that two weeks ago, I'd say "oh yeah." After
this week, HELL no.
Gordon: Marty started to unravel when he gave up his immunity Idol. Then he got
nasty and everything went to poop.
Chico: Yeah, you don't do that. Sorry. He didn't count on one thing... NaOnka
just don't give a damn.
Gordon: When NaOnka, of all people, turns into a sympathetic character, then you
know you have issues.
Chico: True colors came out at tribal with some truly colorful language. And
Marty gets the finger.
Gordon: It was fun. It was emotional, it was bye bye Marty. And with that, we
have 3 oldies left. None of which are in a good position to win the game.
Chico: In a 7-4 vote over Jane, with Dan, Fabio, Marty, and Benry dissenting.
Gordon: Dan, Fabio and Benry are on the outside looking in.
Chico: So if I was a young youthful strapping male, which I am, I'm saying,
let the feast of the Logan's Run begin.
Gordon: Not necessarily. Dan, Fabio and Benry are in the minority group. Dan
won't win. I'd say
Benry is the next target.
Chico: I'm not going to disagree with you. But look out for Dan. He's the
oldest. He's the slowest. He's no doubt going to gerner sympathy for being both
of those.
Gordon: Then Fabio. Then Logan's run to wipe out the old geezers. Dan's going to
get wiped out once Benry and Fabio are gone. Then Holly and Jane, leaving Chase,
Sash, NaOnka and Brenda.
Chico: In a heated battle to see who takes NaOnka, who has about as much of a
chance of winning as you or I do, to the final.
Gordon: Agreed.
Chico: That mean we can dispense with the pleasantries and get to the end
already?
Gordon: I would think so, barring an immunity run.
Chico: That's not going to happen either.
Gordon: Speaking of which, the Hamsters are playing for Brainvision Immunity.
The task this week - building a tower of grapes for Eve the cat (and Producer)
to eat. That sounds a little manipulative on the part of the Producer, no?
Chico: A little bit? A LITTLE BIT?! What LITTLE BIT?
Gordon: BTW Gordon Jr. wins the challenge, so he doesn't have to do the news. I
however, do, so Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.
(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your
frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico
Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Thanks, Dougie. Can I get you a broom, G? Can I get you A HUNDRED BROOMS,
G?
Gordon: I'll take 102 brooms, please, and a Datebook.
Chico: Take it! It's yours!
One of Game Show Fandom's requests, 1 Vs. 100, shows up on Monday.
Chico: With DWTS judge and (apparently) Diane Mizota's twin sister Carrie Ann
Inaba hosting. I believe this would make her the first former Fly Girl ever to
host a game show.
Also: another celebrity week on 5th Grader, Armed Forces Week on Wheel, and J!'s
College Championship reaches a heady climax.
Gordon: Due to the November Sweepage. How's that Zamboni doing?
Chico: Wonderfully. It's surprisingly drivable.
Gordon: Cool. And then you can use this to hit hockey pucks (Gives Chico a bat)
Chico: At the loudest house in the NHL.
Skating with Celebrities. We have celebrities... We have skaters... now we need
a host. Stop at... VERNON KAY.
Chico: He must have a golden handcuffs with ABC. First Million Dollar Mind Game,
now this.
Gordon: Stop...at...a whammy (WHaaa-whaaaaa)
Chico: I'm sure he's a more than able host in the UK... but here all we have to
go on is... Hit Me Baby One More Time. And he was a wiener at best.
Gordon: How did Hit Me Baby One More TIme work for you? Or Maybe I should say
HOW DID HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME WORK FOR YOU?????
Chico: Again, he was a wiener. A very LOUD wiener. With a stupid haircut. The
good news... he's since gotten a haircut. :-)
Gordon: I hope he turned it and his hair down around 12 notches, because if he
doesn't, it
will remind me of another vehicle that had a run in with ice that didn't work
out too well for all people involved - the Titanic.
Chico: We'll see how he handles the show next week.
Gordon: Oh merrily yay.
Chico: I'll give you something to yay over.. *rolls in chalkboard*
Gordon: I question the smarts of ABC here. I also question the smarts of the
following person. And yes, there is something worse than a Dead Turkey and
people who can't read clues.
Are YOU Smarter than...Anand Vasudev, who texts his way right out of The
Apprentice?
Chico: YOU DON'T TEXT IN A BOARD ROOM MEETING!
Gordon: Well...you can...sort of...but no.
Chico: Seriously, what happened?
Gordon: It's The Donald reading a text message to Anand.
Chico: What'd it say?
Gordon: a few problems here. #1. It was written by Anand, and #2. It said this:
"Come to Trump Tower from 10AM-1PM. Bring at least $50. Pretend like you don't
know me. Need you to buy a pedicab from me or one of my teammates. I'm project
manager so my ass is on the line. I'm getting close to the top -- I won't have
my phone with me, so just come by and pretend like we don't know each other,"
Chico: OOPS
Gordon: Anand, on top of it, lied that he sent the message. Of course, the
producers have all the info, so Anand was caught. He called it a 'bad judgment
call'. Trump called it illegal, accused him of cheating and fired him. That
would be the
first time in the history of the show that someone got booted for cheating.
Chico: Not to mention the first time he was fired at the start of the show.
Gordon: True.
Chico: I have the clip...
Gordon: Clip me.
Gordon: Yeah. Not good at all.
Chico: Chris Hanson has nothing on the Donald.
Gordon: Nope. But the good news is I found Anand a job!
Chico: As what?
Gordon: As Haterade server and new nanny!
Chico: YAY!
And needing one is Kate Gosselin, as 2 of her kids get expelled from the school
they were going to. Reasons cited: Fighting, calling names, and teasing the
other kids about their status, or as one unnamed official put it, 'acting just
like their mom'.
Chico: DUDE. That's so apt.
Gordon: That would make it a bunch of candidates who want to get fully loaded.
Chico: Yep.
Jonathan Goodson is teaming up with Foxwoods for a new gaming joint venture.
Gordon: I think that could be a huge boon for Foxwoods. Especially if they start
ramping up with lottery games, etc.
Chico: As you know, Jonathan Goodson is a prolific producer and the son of the
father of the game show as we know it, Mark Goodson.
Gordon: Jonathan has been doing lottery shows as of late, so this fits in
perfectly for him.
Chico: Sure does.
Gordon: And they can cull in a lot of media hoes.
Chico: (plays "Pimpin All Over the World")
In
this week's Hoedown Showdown, Tim Gunn and DL Hughley are on the list for
Millionaire hosts, Steve Harvey does Centric, Betty White becomes a forest
ranger...
Chico: Go go forest ranger!
Portia DeRossi wants a same sex Dancing With the Stars partner, like in Israel,
Al Roker and Meredith Vieira run the NYC Marathon, Nick Cannon hosts the 2nd
annual Halo Awards... Miranda Lambert wins a lot at the Country Music Awards,
Crystal Bowersox (Dec 14) and Lee DeWyze (November 14) announce the drop dates
for their albums, and Heidi and Spencer announce their wedding vow renewals,
because we know that Chico can't get enough of Spencer and Heidi.
Chico: Because the fake divorce and the real divorce did nothing for them. And
by that, I mean "everyone stopped caring".
Gordon: Are you going to get a Spencer and Heidi wall poster?
Chico: No. YOU are. :-)
Gordon: Maybe. But none of them are your hoes of the Week.
Chico: Who you got?
Gordon: I got Pat Sajak and Keith Olbermann, for the dumbest feud in recent
memory. After Olbermann gets suspended, Sajak talks about how he should never
have allowed Olbermann to get on his show. The usual hilarity ensues.
Chico: Yeah, I've yet to hear him apologize for another "hate-filled monger"...
Rush Limbaugh. Moral of the story. We get it. You're righty, you're lefty. We
get it.
Host your damn shows already.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And finally, let's go to Jamaica, mon.
The Cash Cab is riding all over the island looking for players. It makes you
feel airey.
Gordon: Wouldn't the emissions from the cabs ruin the beautiful idyllic nature
of the island?
Chico: I don't know. I mean, they run cars down there now. But still... another
country gets bitten by the Cash Cab bug. Or maybe it's a pedicab. I don't know.
Gordon: Very true. And it's better to have that than be driven around in a
Pedicab. And
That's BrainVision. Shut it down.
Chico: Got it.
Gordon: When we come back, we got tasty fruit, which you should have before you
serve your turkey. But first, it's never too early to go holiday shopping.
Chico: Yeah it is.
Gordon: Ok, it is, but what the hey.
Chico: I don't know how it goes down in your house, but in my house, we respect
the calendar!
Gordon: If you buy new year's gifts in April, you save 69%, or something like
that. You're reading WLTI, You give us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22 ways to
get fired from The Apprentice.
Chico: "Hey Donald, suck on this..."
(Brainvision is powered by Cash Pedicab, giving tourists the need for mucho
greed at a really slow speed... Don't worry if your host passes out from lack of
energy running and asking questions at the same time.)