Episode 26.12 - Trippy
April 4

Chico: A bunch of little mistakes keep the Hurricanes out of the playoffs by TWO. I still think they're a playoff caliber team.
Gordon: Oh and who gets in because of it? The NEW YORK Rangers.
Chico: Which you don't like.
Gordon: No, but better them than Carolina.
Chico: He said so himself, he only loves because because I'm disappointed. You know something... I was disappointed... for 30 seconds.
Gordon: The Traitor Tots were tasty though, weren't they?
Chico: We'll get'em next year. Buffalo got hot late and that's the only reason why. It's WLTI. Someone's got to be the heel. And by heel, I mean "complete bastard".
Gordon: Would that be me?
Chico: What do YOU think?
Gordon: I think I have Whammies.
Chico: Me too.
Gordon: Would it make you feel better to send them out?
Chico: It would.
Gordon: Cool. I'll start it off.
Chico: Go ahead, sir.

Who gets the 'L-o-s-e-r' Eye Chart Whammy? Wendy Williams for Dancing With the Stars? or Richard Hatch for The Apprentice?

Chico: Wendy Williams had class all the way through, even going so far as to put Tony Dovolani on a plane to the Caribbean. Rich Hatch... did none of these things. Richard.
Gordon: Richard has already won a reality show. And being classless is part of The Apprentice mantra. Wendy was also less than classy on a show that you need to curry the audience favor. She never did. I'll say Wendy.
Chico: So we go to the body of work... Survivor and The Apprentice... and a jail sentence... or a talk show, Dancing, and a game show that's sure to suck. ... Tough decision.
Gordon: Wendy hasn't proven herself.
Chico: True. Next one...

The Britney Whammy... Thia and Naima both blame their ouster on the teenage girl vote. When you contrast the first real Idol scandals of Tamyra Gray and Jennifer Hudson being voted out with class.... So who deserves the Whammy more, Thia or Naima?

Gordon: Thia. She should know beter. She's been on a reality contest show before and clearly, based on her performances, didn't learn her lesson.
Chico: Agreed. She knew what she was getting herself into. And she should've known how NOT to play it. Blame everyone you want, but at the end of the day, if you don't perform, you have no one to blame but yourself.
Gordon: Again, it didn't seem like Thia was singing. It felt like she was a Thia-bot.
Chico: I am a Thia-bot. I sing lame ballads... and not much else.
Gordon: Balladeers are an endangered species on Idol. Next one...

Jimmy Fallon for Silent Library or William Shatner for Million Dollar Password. Who gets the Acting Whammy for worst performance in a game show?

Chico: I'm going to go with Shatner. Especially after him on Pyramid... sucking by himself.
Gordon: I agree. You have to remember that Fallon had help from 5 other people to set the mark for futility. Shatner did that all by h8imself.
Chico: Yay. Here's one for you...

Meat Loaf's blowup on "The Apprentice" or Jeff Probst's ultimate reality show pitch... in 2033 (courtesy of FunnyorDie.com I personally voted DIE). Who gets the "hee-hee-hee-this-oughta-do-it" Whammy for having something blow up in their face?

Gordon: Can I go off the board and say Charlie Sheen?
Chico: Not yet. We haven't seen him on Drew's show yet.
Gordon: Aw. I'll have to say Probst. Meatloaf is still on the show.
Chico: Yep. Jeff Probst has done a lot of great things with his computer. This... is not one of them.
Gordon: No. Maybe the next one will be better.
Chico: Maybe. I have faith in this one. Next..

The X-Factor, The Voice of America, or America Sings. Which one gets the Xerox Whammy for making Co-Pays?

Chico: The Voice.
Gordon: I agree. It brings nothing to the table.
Chico: Except maybe blind tryouts. But after that... then what
Gordon: It's up to America! And the teenage girlies!
Chico: I wish I was a teenager still. And finally...

NBC is buying "Fashion Star" from Ben Silverman. Who gets the Money whammy for this obvious copy of Runway? NBC or Ben Silverman?

Gordon: NBC of course. Ben's only trying to make a living. It's not his fault if NBC picks it up.
Chico: True. Television makes strange bedfellows. Even more so if the network calls the bedfellow "the worst mistake they've ever made." So... altogether now... "HEE HEE HEE I CANNOT TELL A LIE. YOU LOSE!"
Gordon: I was thinking more like the Whammy canoeing the money over the river.
Chico: Why not. Call it a Double Whammyville, because NBC ought to know better by now.
Gordon: They should. And we know it's good time for a commercial.
Chico: And on the other side of it, an instant bargain... or six.
Gordon: We'll be hunting for them - next!

(Brought to you by Mutual of Whammy. For those moments when you have a whole lot of money, but nothing to do with it.)

Gordon: Hey Chico! The New York Mets are on line 1.
Chico: HA!
Gordon: But lets say you have more money than the NY Mets. What would you spend it on? We have some ideas as it's time to play Bargain Hunters.
Chico: A decent pitching staff for one. :-)
Gordon: Give us some more ideas, Chico.
Chico: Okay. Here's an idea...

"Hair Battle Spectacular" has been silently renewed for season 2. What would you buy to make your fantasy hair a winning reality?

Gordon: I like my hair, so nothing. You, on the other hand, I'd get you some astroturf.
Chico: And a tree?
Gordon: Sure. You can be Tree-co.
Chico: All about the green on this show.
Gordon: Hey that would be the biggest piece of wood on your body.
Chico: No. Comment.
Gordon: Next one...

Richard Hatch wants $300,000 to stay out of jail and launch a lawsuit against CBS to clear his name and uproot all the evil that is the eye network. Do you give it to him?

Chico: No. Next question.
Gordon: Why not? If you pay him, he'll go away
Chico: No he won't. You know he won't.
Gordon: ...True. Next?
Chico: Next...

Julie Chen and Holly Robinson Peete were models for a day on TPIR this week. Who would you pay to see on that show in the same capacity?

Gordon: Mimi :)
Chico: You missed her on April Fool's Day?
Gordon: I did. Made me sad. Their 'disaster' was just that.
Chico: I think that was the point. I liked it, though.
Gordon: So you're the one.
Chico: Yeah. Next?
Gordon: Next one...

You have $1,000 that you can spend on any Top Chef Winner's Restaurant. WHich one are you dining at?

Chico: Wow. Tough choice. I'll go with Richard Blais. Something about molecular gastronomy... I love science.
Gordon: It's unique and different. As someone who thought he should have won his season, I'd definitely try it out. He's the biggest money winner in the history of the show - and well-deserved, too.
Chico: Next one...

So ABC may be cutting back on its soap operas, so here's an idea - stop the game show bashing and get with the program. Buy an idea for an old ABC show, make it your own, and pitch to the network.

Chico: I already have an answer in mind, by the way.
Gordon: Break the Bank
Chico: Which one?
Gordon: The 70's Version
Chico: Okay, that's a good one... but what about one from the all-star lineup of 72... It's obviously not TNG or LMAD... I think it's time again... for SPLIT SECOND.
Gordon: That's not a bad show.
Chico: No it is not. And joining in the disturbing trend of overextending what should be a simple game, you can have the first 15 minutes of round 1, the second 15 of round 2, 10 for the Countdown Round, and 5 for a bonus. Or, you know, you could just do the right thing and make a 30-minute show and shut up about it.
Gordon: Pair both shows up for an hour.
Chico: That works. ABC are you listening?
Gordon: Probably not. Last one...

Would you rather buy The Big Brother House....or the Bachelor Pad?

Chico: Yes. :-)

You only get one, Mr. Greedypants.

Chico: Oh, I'm supposed to choose. I'll take the Bachelor Pad. Hot tub AND a pool table. Knock out one of the ladies' rooms, put a geek wall/man wall up... Good to go.
Gordon: Don't forget the Chris Harrison Posters.
Chico: Yeah, knock those out too.
Gordon: I'm sure there has to be a Brad Womack poster up there to replace the one you burned up on the last show.
Chico: I checked.. I burned the last one :-)
Gordon: I'll have to go Photoshop some more with him and Emily.
Chico: You do that. I'm going to take a break. When we return... speed. Faster than a furiously dying movie franchise.
Gordon: Or so Chico hopes.

(Brought to you by NFL Pad. Football players are coupled up with the NFL owners to try to get an NFL agreement together. Last group standing gets to decide where the extra billion dollars goes. COME ON GUYS, JUST GET A DEAL DONE ALREADY.)

Chico: As you can tell... Gordon loves football... and hates the UFL.
Gordon: I liked the UFL.
Chico: I meant the United Football League... not Ultimate Fan League. That was awesome. Where's THAT show, Fox?
Gordon: I like a Speed Round more. Ready?
Chico: Ready
Gordon: Speed Round starts...now! Idol: Do we finally get rid of a guy?
Chico: Yes. Bye Casey. No Hollywood ending for you.
Gordon: Pia's vote will send the audience into a shock wave. We'll see Stefano and Casey and Haley at the bottom - and Casey leaves.
Chico: Survivor... will Matt continue his winning ways on Redemption Island? Stupid question. Okay, Who's going to be his next wench?
Gordon: David, please report to the Wench room.
Chico: David! Time for ass-whuppins'!
Gordon: What about the Race? Who's next?
Chico: Flight & Big. Which means... ANOTHER PRICE IS RIGHT APPEARANCE!
Gordon: Yay? What about some email?
Chico: I got some e-mail. This is from Kim Shannon. Thanks, Kim!

VIEWER MAIL

“

Kim Shannon Hi! I was on a TV series in 2005 called Ballbreakers and have never seen the episode that I was in. I was wondering if you have any information on how I might get a copy of that episode. I have also heard that I was on the commercials for the series and would be thrilled to see even that much. Please let me know any information you might have. Thanks so much!

”

Chico: Try the Invision board. gameshow.ipbhost.com. Be specific.
Gordon: Good luck with that, Kim! I got an email from Eddie Timanus. Thanks, Eddie!

VIEWER MAIL

“

Eddie Timanus Howdy, gents. Wow, nice get on that Todd Crain interview. He is, of course, too kind. I will say that participating in the Watson challenge was certainly a lot of fun and extremely cool, and Todd did a tremendous job hosting. He kept it light, kept it moving, and most important he handled the material. Hosting a game show, as you've often pointed out, fits into the "looks easy -- isn't" category. It looks easy if the host is competent, and he was that and much, much more. I'd love to see that experience turn into something bigger for him.

”

Gordon: Thanks for the email Eddie! Any more emails?
Chico: Nope. So let's go to the Wall. We asked which summer show you're looking forward to. Matthew Behrman said ...

“

WLTI'S BIG FACEBOOK QUESTION Matthew Behrman "I want to see the Voice, if it's good or not. They have judges who have star power. Let's see if it'll be back."

”

Chico: Don't worry, Matthew. It won't.
Gordon: I've already got the Garbage Bag ready for it. Large size. The only question is...will it get past The One's mark of 2 weeks?
Chico: I think it will. I think it almost has to. To appease to the principals.
Gordon: The fact that it's going on in the summer will help.
Chico: I mean, come on... They held onto Minute to Win It for this long.
Gordon: We'll see.
Chico: So Gordon, you have a question?
Gordon: I do. And here it is...

“

WLTI'S BIG FACEBOOK QUESTION You've seen Dancing With the Stars for a month now. Be a prognosticator: Who wins?

”

Gordon: Anyways, that ends this week's show. A special thanks to no one in particular, since it's just me and Chico tonight. Next week: The plot thickens and we get a new game.
Chico: Hope to see you for that. Until then, for everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico Alexander. Game over, and spread the love