April 2, 2007

Chico: I KEPT SAYING DON'T GO FOR THE LONG BALL! BUT YOU NEVER LISTENED TO ME! Seriously, though, I begged to have a stroke that day.
Chico: But on the bright side, the ladies are currently rocking Cleveland.
Jason: Yes they are.
Gordon: Uh, Chico....(Hands Chico Sports Report)
Chico: DAMNIT!!!! Let's rock Whammyville.
Chico: First up...

America... or the producers for bringing him in to begin with. We've got a special package for whoever's responsible for the continued popularity of... Sanjaya.

Jason: May I go off the board?
Chico: ... Judges? (DING!) We'll allow it.
Jason: How about the singers who didnt sing well enough to make Sanjaya a viable candidate to vote for.
Chico: Interesting off-board pick. Don? Gordon?
Don: I'd say America, since it's their votes that are keeping him in the competition.
Gordon: Ill agree with Jason on this. You could tell from the first few weeks that the singers that were brought in were good. When the lights came on, they didn't deliver.
Chico: Okay, so to the season 6 American Idols, we have our special Whammy surprise...12... Singing Whammys!
Gordon: Ah - The Whammy Carollers
Chico: "Oooooooh... I'd love to take it back from you!!!!" "Ooooooo.... waaaaaaah!"
Jason: Cool.
Chico: "*Michael Jackson Whammy*" "I want money! I want money! I want money... Caaaaash" "You better cry, 'cause your money's gone... bye bye bye!" "Who would ever hurt a whammy... Who would ever wan.. OW!!!" "Kiss me where the sun don't shine!" "I'm the rappin' Whammy and it ain't no joke, I'm cleaning you out and leaving you broke!" "Ah ahhhh . . . I got money . . . it's everything . . . ah ahhhhh ah!" "All I need is cash, give me all your money...give back the money! I said, give me all your money...give back the money!"  "It's good to have your mon-eee, back...again!" "Give back the money! Said Gimme all your money... Give back the money..."
Don: Nice.
Chico: Damn... that's a lot of whammys.
Jason: A better group sing than Season 6
Gordon: Next one...

The Rich List or American Dream Vote. Which one gets the Great Whamimi Whammy for making a fast disappearance?

Don: Rich List
Chico: Rich List
Jason: Rich List
Gordon: I would say Dream Vote, just becasue I just HATED the premise
Chico: Me too, but it lasted twice as long as the Rich List.
Gordon: Id rather watch 10 Rich Lists than 1 Dream Vote
Chico: That's just granted. But it's the vote that counts, so...
Gordon: So there you go - next one?
Chico: Next...

Ryan Seacrest or Tom Bergeron & Samantha Harris... Which one gets the director Whammy for gross misuse of the word "Live"?

Jason: DWTS
Chico: Or, I should say, taking gross liberties with the word.
Jason: Harris.
Don: Tom & Samantha.
Gordon: Gotta go with Samantha. At least in Idol, they wont edit out any bad performances
Chico: That and Tom goes live when throwing it to break, so..."Now that I'm a star, I need makeup. MAKEUP!!" Always good for a laugh. Okay, G, next?
Gordon: Next one -

The Vaudeville Whammy - Which person should not have won Last Comic Standing - Josh Blue, or Dat Phan?

Chico: Josh Blue
Don: Blue.
Chico: Talk about one trick pony.
Jason: Blue
Gordon: Im going to say Dat Phan. At least the pony that Blue rode in on was funny the first 100 times
Chico: That's true. Say, what's Josh Blue doing nowadays?
Jason: Touring.
Chico: ah
Jason: He's working at least 5 dates a month through August.
Gordon: Does he clean up the bar or check the cash register?
Jason: He's actually headlining.
Chico: Good for him. Let's ask that question next year this time and see what answer we get.
Chico: Next....

The Verizon Whammy ... for behavior unbecoming of a live game show host... are we Whammying Jessica York or Kourtney... with a K?

Jason: Oh Kourtney with a K.
Don: I haven't seen Kourtney with a K yet.
Jason: Thats the dumb people who watch the MyNetwork. Kourtney with a K in a "Guess the Movie Title" got Dagger from the letters of Gladiator.
Chico: And called it "a nice try". So.. not to sway the voting... Jessica York.. dumb. Kourtney with a K... dumb... and flamboyant in his dumbness.
Gordon: I think Kourtney, though more talented, gets the Whammy
Don: Yeah, sounds like Kourtney deserves it.
Chico: Yeah, not many hosts can host while flailing sharp pointies. Put that sword away, my friend.
Jason: Wasn't that the same 300 guy?
Chico: That was the same guy
Jason: (shudder)
Chico: I think we have one final Whammy, Gordon?
Gordon: Last one -

Back to the Boy George Whammy...Howard Stern or Ashley Perl. Who REALLY is responsible for keeping Sanjaya in the American Idol competition?

Jason: Ashley Perl and all like her.
Gordon: The Whammys look cute on TV, don't they?
Don: Perl.  That crying can do wonders.
Chico: The answer is... "There's enough blame to go around".
Gordon: And there we go. There's your allotment of Whammies
Chico: And damn that was a lot of them. I think it's time we take a break. What's next?
Gordon: Next... I hear a screaming baby.
Chico: A screaming baby...A sunrise in the horizon...Must be a world premiere game. After the break.
Jason: WHOO HOO!
Gordon: And I'll give you all a hint. Jason Block has played a game of the same name - but not the same game.
Jason: My head is spinning
Chico: Confused? You won't be... after the break.

(Brought to you by Remotenol, the ultimate treatment for My Games Fever.)

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