I'm No Dummy (Tikiano)
NIGHT 25: SCOTT TROYZAN VS.
THE (ONE) WORLD
Well,...this is uncomfortable.
With Jay having been blindsided by the Girls Alliance, Troyzan is
all alone. He knows he can't trust the Salani Alliance anymore...and
the men are now at a 2-to-1 disadvantage. Aside from somehow getting
the Immunity Necklace at every Challenge, who's to say he's not
The girls - particularly
Christina - try to apologize for what happened...and Troyzan asks
Christina if she's EVER been loyal to the Salani Alliance. Alicia
thinks Troyzan is "attacking" her verbally and Troyzan
speaks LOUDLY at Alicia, saying he's just asking a question. The
shouting match between Troyzan and Alicia allegedly answers the
question FOR Troyzan; he is indeed alone. He is now officially ticked!
And when he's ticked, he gets fired-up! And when he gets fired-up,
he goes out to win...win...WIN!
DAY 26: BREAKFAST AS TICKED-ANY'S
And to win, he must...confront
Chelsea and argue his case for staying in the game? Huh...but all
Chelsea can offer by way of explanation is, "It's just the
game." She then states that Troyzan should take it like Jonas
did: like a man. Troyzan doesn't, though; he feels that, now that
they have everything they need for basic survival, the girls don't
need the men anymore.
A little later, Tree-Mail
arrives with envelopes for each remaining Survivor:
once, going twice...
This should be some fun.
Spend your cash in clever ways,
And your hunger will be done.
The envelopes are actually
"wallets" stuffed with US$500 in $20 bills. And, if you
can't figure out what the "Challenge" is by the first
line,...oy. Troyzan...he doesn't care about food; he will spend
EVERYTHING he has to get something that will help him go further
in the game.
REWARD(-ISH) CHALLENGE: AUCTION
Welcome to the Survivor
Auction House with your auctioneer Uncle Jeff. Jeff will bring out
items (some covered) and will ask for bids. Highest bid wins the
item. Unlike most other auctions, Survivors CANNOT pool their resources
or share items. And the auction will end without notice...so get
your stuff while you can!
First item up for bids
is three BIG donuts and a glass of iced coffee. Kim opens with $100,
Chelsea goes up to $120, $140 to Kim, $160 to Chelsea...going once...going
twice...*BANG* SOLD! And I'm sure Dunkin' Donuts will be after Chelsea
like NOBODY's business when she returns to the mainland. Next up:
tortilla chips, guacamole dip and a margarita on ice (complete with
salted rim). The women are all over this...and Sabrina buys it for
$400! Next is a banana protein shake with two bananas on the side.
Maybe not the tastiest but defnitely useful at this point. The men
finally get into the bidding and Leif gets it for $100.
Next item is to Jeff's
left: a one-time "Survivor shower" complete with shampoo
and toothbrush to feel clean again. The bidding is light and Kim
wins it for $40. She gets in the shower (warning Tarzan not to stare)
and gets all cleaned up from hair to toenails. A BLT sammich with
tater chip and an iced tea goes to Kat for $180. For the next one,
Jeff ot chocolate in his peanut butter and vice-versa. Big chocolate
bars and a bowl a PB sets off a MASSIVE bidding war...and Kim even
EXITS the shower dripping wet and in a towel to outbid Alicia and
win it for $240 before returning to the shower with the prize. Jeff
then comments that Tarzan hasn't bid ONCE...and Tarzan says (in
all honesty, mind you) the money is going towards fixing the shocks
on his truck when he gets home. (Guess that means any cash not used
the Survivors get to keep.)
OK,...time to get serious.
Next item: letters from home! Alicia IMMEDIATELY bids $500 with
teary eyes, winning automatically. One letter is from her father,
who feels she is prepared for this game and he is proud of her.
This brings everyone to tears. Uncle Jeff then offers anyone ELSE
with all their money to surrender it for their OWN letters. So much
for the shocks; Tarzan gives it up, having broken down from Alicia's
reading. He, however, keeps the letters to himself.
Uncle Jeff asks Troyzan
what he's missing from home...and Troyzan says he feels completely
alone after the last Tribal Council. He's sure a letter from his
brother is there...but, though he's feeling down, he's hanging on
to his money. Jeff closes the sale of the letters.
Speaking of Troyzan, the
item he's been waiting for has arrived: an advantage in the next
Immunity Challenge. But...he does NOT bid the farm; he bids $300,
leaving the gates open. Going once...going twice...$360 to Christina
(who likewise hasn't spent a dime). Troyzan counters with $380.
The girls talk Christina into bumping it to $400. Troyzan immediately
says $420...and Sabrina wants Christina to bid all $500 to end the
auction. Going once...going twice...*BANG* SOLD to Troyzan for $420!
Troyzan is PUMPED at this sale; he knows he's a one-man wolfpack
and knowing he can win Immunity and stick around...sweet! And he
accuses the women of pressuring Christina to get this advantage
not for herself but for the Girls Alliance.
Another item...but it
remains covered and comes with a note. The bids go between Christina
and Kat but Kat gets it for $160. The item...is a HUGE cake. But...the
note has these provisos: the cake must be shared by the entire tribe
and you can only eat it for 60 seconds. Let the feeding frenzy begin!
After a minute, everyone has faces and hands covered in frosting.
And, with that, Uncle
Jeff officially closes the Survivor Auction. Tikiano can head back
to One World Beach and digest.
AFTERNOON 26: YOU DON'T MESS
WITH THE TROYZAN
Troyzan opens the note
he spent $420 on and it reads:
You will move directly to the second stage of this Immunity
Your odds of winning have just increased from 1-in-9 to 1-in-4!
Awesome! And it's making
Troyzan feel cocky! He even combs the grounds for a 3I if the one
he handed in last night has been replaced...in broad daylight, no
less! The Girls Alliance...they are panicky. Kim tells them that
they, Tarzan and Leif should try to find the 3I before Troyzan does.
As they spread out, Chelsea thinks that Christina made a HUGE mistake
letting Troyzan get that advantage...and that the old swimsuit photographer
will now fight with more heart than half the tribe.
While the search goes
on, Kim looks over at Troyzan...and he shows a piece of cloth out
of the pocket of his shorts to her before tucking it back in. It
was actually the cloth that was wrapped around the advantage...but
he's hoping she'll confuse that with a wrapping for a 3I. Some of
the girls think that his cocky attitude MIGHT be a sign he has one...
and they need to flush it out ASAP. Kim is VERY nervous about Troyzan
at the moment...but she takes comfort that, when it's 1 vs. many,
the 1 never wins in the long run.
DAY 27 - IMMUNITY CHALLENGE:
RETURN FROM THE DEAD
Challenge Cove, Uncle
Jeff...and some familiar sights. Chelsea gives the Immunity Necklace
back to Uncle Jeff and Jeff explains that this Challenge is made
up of parts of PREVIOUS Challenges. Firstly, the eight that DIDN'T
buy their way out of it will compete in the First Stage: unknotting
ropes like in that first DIY Challenge. First three to finish plus
Troyzan will go to the Second Stage: bouncing coconuts off a trampoline
to bust three targets. The Final Stage awaits the first two to do
that: Coconut Slingshot Bingo. First Survivor to knock out three
targets in a line (vertical, horizontal or diagonal) wins the coveted
Immunity Necklace and stays safe while everyone else is vulnerable
to become Juror #4. Troyzan sits the First Stage out and everyone
Everyone gets to pulling
and twisting and yanking at the ropes. Jeff comments that Troyzan
was worried about the Immunity Challenge rather than filling his
belly yesterday. Some of the ladies make ground, though Tarzan is
not far behind. It's nearly anybody's game as the rings get close
to being loosened. Tarzan is the first to hit his mat with ring
in hand and he lets out a yell that Carol Burnett would be proud
of. Close behind are Kim and Christina. After a brief rest, Troyzan
joins them, ready to bounce nuts on tampolines in the Second Stage.
Tarzan is the first to
bust a nut...or, rather, bust a target WITH a nut. Troyzan evens
it up after Kim's shot hits the rim. As Kim hits rim again and Christina...well,
while she acts like she did the FIRST time she did this Challenge,
Troyzan hits his second target. Kim finally busts one. Troyzan goes
for the win...and JUST misses. Kim evens things up and so does Tarzan.
Christina...let's just not talk about her, OK? The first one to
break their final target...is TROYZAN! "This is MY ISLAND,"
he yells at the bench. "You CAN'T BEAT ME!" And the one
joining him in the final fight for Immunity...is TARZAN, who nails
it after Kim's final shot falls short! So...the -zan brothers get
to play Coconut Slingshot Bingo for a 1-in-8 shot at a million bucks.
The Final Stage is not
a race; the two men will fire coconuts one-at-a-time at the same
time. First to get three in a line on the 3x3 board wins. (I'll
call the boards by number, #1 being upper-left and moving left-to-right
and top-to-bottom to #9 in the bottom-right.) First shots are fired.
Troyzan knocks out #9, Tarzan #3. Second shots: Troyzan gets #2,
Tarzan fires over. Troyan gets #8, producing a possible Immunity
point...and Tarzan responds with #5 being obliterated. The first
man to knock out #7 wins...although Troyzan can ALSO put out #5
to win. Ready...aim...FIRE! Troyzan...hits the corner of four squares!
Ew. Tarzan...nails #2, giving him THREE chances to win: #1, #7 or
#8. They load...aim...and Tarzan...JUST misses #1! Troyzan has a
chance here. He shoots.........the coconut hits the beam above #5...but
the momentum is JUST ENOUGH to knock #5 off the frame! TROYZAN WINS
IMMUNITY! And he WHOOPS it up!! And he tells everyone else, "Don't
@#$% with me."
And then the trash talking
duel begins. The Girls Alliance says it just won him one round.
Troyzan responds by saying he was operating at 50% and it'll only
get better from here on. The GA: "Bring it on." Troyzan:
"You keep scramblin'."
AFTERNOON 27: TROYZAN AND
THE NOT-SO-SUPER 7 PLUS 1
Tarzan gathers the tribe
and requests Troyzan that, the next time he wins, he do it with
dignity and nobility. Troyzan defends himself saying that he just
"beat seven people" and he was being him: uber-competative.
Tarzan says he understands...but to just shake his hand after a
good win. Troyzan is happy to be stirring up paranoia over the fake
3I he put into play.
How paranoid are they?
Chelsea and Kim are considering, ever so briefly, voting a girl
out. Chelsea quickly dismisses the idea, not wanting MORE paranoia
to be rampant. And Kim agrees that the next one gone should be either
Tarzan or Leif. As for said not-Immune men, they're talikng it out
while bathing in the waves, certain that either one of them will
be in the Jury come tomorrow.
Troyzan plans to yack
it up with Tarzan, Christina, Leif and Alicia to break the Girls
Alliance and get the nastermind of said Alliance, Kim, kicked out.
He feels that knocking one of the big four of the GA off - Kim,
Chelsea, Kat or Sabrina - will crumble the entire Alliance and allow
the others of the group to be picked off easily. Tarzan and Leif
are all for it. Christina...well, she DOES listen as Troyzan explains
that the GA would have her gone much earlier. Alicia doesn't want
to make a rash decision...but she's not saying "no", either
because what he says makes sense to her. Guess we'll see if things
go Troyzan's way (much as it had the last two days) at...
TRIBAL COUNCIL: ABRAHAM TROYZAN:
Nine Tikianos enter the
Council Hutch of Doom where Uncle Jeff has them sit. In comes the
Jury so far: Jonas, Mike and Jay. One of the nine will join them
Uncle Jeff gets right
to the point: Troyzan is being a bit of a loudmouth at Challenges
and is directing the bile towards the women. Troyzan defends himself
the same way: it's his competative nature and the fact that nobody
was cheering for him. But Chelsea says that the bragging at the
Immunity Challenge was not cool at all and hates that he made the
rest of the tribe look like bad guys. Troyzan denies that and Sabrina
adds that, though he's a great competitor, the last 48 hours has
seen a change in him...and she doesn't like it. Troyzan doesn't
CARE if he's likable. Sabrina says she's just speaking the truth...which
shocks Troyzan to no end. It descends into a shouting match between
the two that even has Uncle Jeff hanging his head.
When things FINALLY calm
down, Chelsea is asked about Troyzan's competativeness. She admits
there's paranois spreading and she thinks of the "old Manono"
(meaning the post-Shuffle Manono) and that Troyzan is trying to
bring them to his way of thinking. Troyzan tells everyone of the
big four of the GA and his plan to get rid of one of them, even
calling out the ones he talked to and saying, "You have my
vote...if you vote Kim out." Chelsea says that'll work ONLY
if he wins every Immunity from here on...though he disagrees. Now
that they are five, whoever DOESN'T get Immunity among the big four
gets sent home!
Then Kim finally speaks.
She says this is under a LOT of assumptions about who's alligned
with whom. But she assures everyone (and the other three back her
up) that Christina and Alicia are NOT "at the bottom"
as Troyzan thinks. Christina admits that the proposition has merit.
But there IS still the original Salani tribe to think about. The
point is this is about "outplay, outwit, outlast", not
perceptions. Alicia admits that the girls "would be screwed"
if this plan works out...but why trust somebody out of the blue?
It all comes down to one question, according to Uncle Jeff: "When
do I make a move?"
It is time to vote. Troyzan
is Immune; he cannot be voted for. The members of Tikiano saunter
to the booth and write down their votes. Troyzan, of course, votes
for Kim, though he admits Kim is "probably the best girl here".
Kim's vote is for Leif, claiming he's been "wishy-washy from
day one". All the other votes are secret. Uncle Jeff tallies
the votes, asks for 3Is, gets no responces, and reads the votes:
Troyzan's plan did not
work. The vertically-challenged phlebotomist (that means he draws
blood out of people and animals) is the fourth man to join the Jury.
Uncle Jeff tells the two -zan brothers that they seem to have only
two chances of survival: keep winning Immunity or find their way
into the still-strong Girls Alliance.
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