Total Dysfunction (Salani)
HERE TO READ THE HAPPENINGS AT
Round 1 of Survivor action
is in the books, and after a surprising left turn at Albuquerque, both
tribes wind up at the same beach. This leads to both sharing and
scheming. And while the manly men and the girly girls are at each
others' throats, the outcasts are teaming up to pick the order apart.
Said order came to an abrupt halt when Kourtney Moon was medically
eclipsed by a game-ending injury. And then there were 17 on One World.
NIGHT 3: FIRE REPRESENTS LIFE.
PROTECTING FIRE, ON THE OTHER HAND...
Some of the Manonos are
quick to point out that the Salanis have been gone for hours (C-Note:
Tribal Councils have been known to take at least an hour to conduct).
Suffice it to say, being on "Survivor" will cause you to lose track of
time. It's a lot like third shift in that aspect. Kat is not to pleased
as keeping the home fires burning (Giggity) is HER job. Also her job,
freaking out at random intervals during confessionals. And we went back
to the tape. Yes, Virginia, Kat has the Crazy Eyes.
Christina and Alicia try to at least have the appearance of making
peace, before Alicia does some self-congratulatory BS about making
Christina looking crazy and like a liar. This from someone who is at
least crazy. ... Alicia also has the crazy eyes. Damn it, is there
anyone on this tribe that DOESN'T HAVE THE CRAZY EYES?
"Nina looks like a bag of
rocks, and I don't even know what that analogy means! She's... just not
moving." That's about the size of it, Alicia.
DAY 4: "I JUST WANT TO SEE YOU
GUYS, I JUST WANT TO TALK MORE."
The ladies agree that Tribal
last night was a wash and that some order needs to be put in place.
Having worked around a group of women before, all I can say is... good
luck with that. They decide that Sabrina should be the leader who makes
all of the decisions. That's an easy way to an easy vote-out, mind you,
but Sabrina takes the role of "managing the airheads" in stride.
Speaking of airheads, Kat
doesn't think getting a lay of the land is a good idea. Did we mention
that Kat has the Crazy Eyes? Oh, by the way, she said "look for
bananas", not "go bananas".
Alicia and Kat spend the
rest of the day in the water.
And now... TREE MAIL!
To Be Opened by the Winning Tribe
Do not open this
envelope or the boxes, until all members of both tribes are
envelope and the boxes to a clearing in a neutral location.
We move to a neutral
location where we have another pseudo-first... the first Do-It-Yourself
R-CHALLENGE: UNTIE YOUR OWN DAMN
ROPES (for a tarp; Big Mike sits for Manono)
In each box is a knotted
rope tied to a ring. The first tribe to free the ring gets the reward.
But the boxes and the ropes are yours to keep no matter the outcome.
The Manonos work on getting
the ropes to the ground first. Salanis follow suit, albeit at a more
chaotic clip. They get in a groove, but the Manonos have a clear
strategy... everyone get a rope and work on it. That proves to be the X
factor for the win.
Back in the One World, Sab
and Colton try to get the guys on his side. Colton, on the other hand,
sees visiting a Salani as a release. Not. Helping. Your. Case. Colton.
But he does help out with the Salani camp and the tarp-less hut o'love.
Sabrina is spending the entire morning entertaining her wayfarer
friend... and now she's seeing him as a "virus". Not that there's
anything wrong with that. Unless you're in the tribe and want Colton to
walk off somewhere.
Colton then whines about
he's a tribe of one, and he just wants to stay with the Salani. To
tears. Alicia says that allowing Colton to remain on their side is a
"really dumb dumb dumb move on their part." It's just not an option
Don't feel bad, Colton,
they're just bitter. Aaaaaaand CRAZY!
I-CHALLENGE: POLE POSITION
The tribesmen will stand
side by side on a balance beam. One at a time, a tribesman will have to
maneuver themselves around his or her tribe, one person at a time
touching one other person at a time. If you fall off or touch two people
at a time, you go back to the start. First tribe to transport all
players through the balance beam wins.
Tarzan sits out for Manono.
And of course, the ladies
have a couple of problems. Their boobs. Oh, and those round fleshy
things suspending from their chest that look like fun.
And while the Manonos just
make it look all kinds of easy, the Salanis... namely KAT... overthink.
And overdrink. Saltwater, that is. Christina ends up jumping off more
than she'd like. And all Dungeon Master Jeff can do is shake his head.
At Kat jumping into the water. For no reason. I'm sure that will be
addressed at Tribal, because I don't give the ladies any hope to pass
this challenge whatsoever.
Well, I spoke too soon,
because the ladies finally find a groove, but is it too little too late?
Nina shakes her head in
disgust, saying that there's no communication or no teamwork.
And Kat's defense can be
best summed up in two words... THINKING'S HARD! Everyone likes her
energy, but she lacks focus. Sabrina says it's a liability, but also
notes that Nina is the walking dead.
Monica is convinced that the
totem pole has her, Nina, and Christina on the bottom. ... Yeah. Nina
just mentions that the others are just an embarrassment and that Kat
should be the one to go home tonight. "You can't outwit if you're
Meanwhile the rest of the
Tribal order is beginning to see the logic in getting rid of Kat.
Chelsea says that if the weakest link is to go tonight, then Kat will be
the first. Nina deserves to be here more than she does. But will they
buy into it?
TRIBAL COUNCIL #2: YOU ARE
THE WEAKEST LINK... GOODBYE!
Five days in, and the
Salanis are looking like the Charlotte Bobcats. And why? Absolute and
total dysfunction. Kim says that there isn't a place for her voice yet.
Nina says that the tribe is still at war with itself, the youngers
versus Nina/Christina/Monica, even though Nina is a former LAPD -
physicality, cool under pressure. Kat... she does things with Florida
timeshares. All she knows how to do is sell sell sell. She's young.
She's limited. So is Nina. Point is? She's WAY TOO EXCITED. Nina says
that being an athletic is about working hard, smart, and together,
bringing up the collapse bordering on complete arse-kicking of the tribe
at the Immunity Challenge. Kim thinks that there's an aspect of alliance
playing into the decision making. But it's mostly been Nina vs. Kat.
Chelsea probably would've chosen a different pony. Alicia is embarrassed
by her tribe.
I'm embarrassed for you.
Kat says that her
communications skills are lacking, admitting that she will not try
anything unless she knows she's going to succeed. Well, here's your Dr.
Chico moment for the day. You can't say you failed if you didn't try...
and 'tis far better a thing to try and fail than to fail to try. So she
owns up to the loss and is willing to throw herself on the sword for it,
though she's not above throwing Christina under the bus. Sabrina takes
time out to point out that women - particularly THIS LOT - LOVE TO
CIRCUMVENT. No one is saying anything direct.
Time for your first vote.
Kat: NINA, "I think you're a
strong competitor, but I would never throw you under the bus the way you
Nina: KAT. "There's been
enough shenanigans around camp and it's time for you to leave."
The other votes...
The rest are for... NINA. By
a vote of 6-1-1, Nina, THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN. Many would argue that it's
the first thing they've done as a unit. If they don't learn from it, it
will not be the last.
Five down, 34 to go.
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