A Bunch of Idiots
TO READ THE HAPPENINGS AT SALANI
DAY 12: GIRLS GONE WILD...WITH
Troyzan informs the inquizitive
girls of Salani that Coulton had the cockamanie idea to give up
Immunity to kick Bill out last night. This seems to unify the women
against the men of Manono as we march together to the next Challenge.
REWARD CHALLENGE: DEAR LIZA
Challenge Clearing awaits
as the fourteen remaining Survivors close ranks near Uncle Jeff.
And that's when Jeff says the three scariest words of the game:
"Drop your Buffs(TM)."
Ayup, it's Tribal Shuffle
And, just in time for
Lent, the new Tribes will be chosen with dyed eggs...accept the
dye is INSIDE the egss. Everyone takes one and, on Uncle Jeff's
signal, smashes it against their body. Sky blue means Salani, Orange
means Manono. Manono holds onto Tarzan, Leif, Jonas and Ol' King
Coulton and gains Christina, Alicia and Monica. And Coulton could
NOT be more unhappy with the switch, claiming that Salani know has
all the muscle.
All right, NOW to the
Reward Challenge. It's very simple: four tribe memebrs take bucket,
fill bucket with water from a water tower, bring bucket of water
back while keeping water from getting out of holes in bucket, dump
water into BIGGER bucket, repeat until one bigger bucket is filled
enough to lift the tribal flag. First to do that takes back a DIY
PB&J sammich kit, along with coffee, sugar and creamer. That
Tribe will take it back to One World Beach. The OTHER Tribe, however,
will NOT be returning. They'll be sent to a whole different beach
where they'll have to start all over again. OH, SNAP! All those
alliances are no more!!.
Monica, Jonas, Leif and
Tarzan are the first for Manono to haul the bucket to the tower.
The Salani group are smarter: two men carry and two women race head
to start the water. We're quick to leave the tower...but Monica
takes two hard falls en route back. Both buckets seem fairly even,
though, as they're dumped and all the Manono girls (and, yes, I'm
including Coulton in that group) head back for more. Manono's first
to head back again with a nearly full bucket this time, but Salani
takes its time to make sure there are zero leaks. they hold a SLIGHT
lead according to Uncle Jeff.
The first four go out
again for the third bucket. Tarzan starts leading back the others
after a near-full bucket is made, though Monica wanted to stay on
a little longer. The holes seem to leak heavily as they head back,
close to dumping the water by the time Salani even finishes at the
tower. Uncle Jeff said one more bucket could do it. We dump...and
it's NOT enough! We start to head back as the blue-painted tribe
return with THEIR bucket. They dump...the bigger bucket goes down...and
the flag goes up! SALANI WINS REWARD! SALANI'S STAYING AT ONE WORLD!
And Manono...they get
a map and the chance to start all over again. Huzzah. Coulton says,
"It's like Greek gods vs. peasants." Well, at least Manono's
fishing gear will be going to the new beach.
AFTERNOON 12: A WHOLE NEW
Coulton was muttering
swear words to himself ever since the eggs got smashed and he found
himself in a tribe of relatively weak folks and WITHOUT most of
his Misfit Alliance. When Manono gets to the new beach, though,
things are a bit more relaxed sinces there are cookware, ropes and
other items to make building a new shelter easier. Coulton thinks
they're not going to win another Challenge...and it seems Alicia
is in agreement.
But, hey, the game's still
going. Best Coulton can do is start a NEW alliance. He gets Christina
and Alicia to vow he won't be blindsided. Monica also throws in,
meaning the "girls" of Manono are unified. And this works
best for Ol' King Coulton; he only needs trust to get info. Monica
is worried herself that Coulton's a double-crosser and that she,
being the strongest of the girls, will be first on the chopping
Coulton then confides
in Alicia that he doesn't trust Christina in the least...and that
she needs to go. Alicia doesn't think that's wise, wanting to keep
the women together. She TELLS Coulton that this kind of in-fighting
is EXACTLY what led to the guys going to Tribal last night even
when they won the Immunity Challenge. And, sure enough, as soon
as Alicia turns her back, Coulton tells Jonas that he's with the
guys. Jonas is secretly jealous that Coulton is able to not work
a lick and stay on top of things. He doesn't know which said Coulton
is on...or even if he's on just ONE side!
(Once again, no excitement
for Day 13. On to...)
DAY 14: POULTRY IN MOTION
Salani may have grabbed
a rooster bare-handed two days ago, but Manono uses some crates
to trap a hen of their own...for a minute or two before realizing
the mesh on the crate was loose on one side allowing the hen to
escape. "These guys SUCK at Survivor," says Coulton.
He still thinks Monica and Christina are the two who NEED to go
first...but it should be Monica as, according to him, she has more
friends on Salani than Christina. She speaks with Alicia about this...but
she's still wanting to keep the girls together as she still doesn't
trust the men yet. Coulton says she only has to trust HIM...and
that seems to be enough for Alicia to agree.
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE: BASKETBRAWL
To Challenge Beach the
new tribes go, with Salani giving the surrendered Tribal Immunity
Idol to Uncle Jeff upon arrival. The Immunity Challenge this time
is a simple game of basketball...in the shallow water. Three members
of each tribe (as specified by Jeff before each round) race to grab
a ball floating in the water. The ones who grab it then work together
to put it into their tribe-colored basket while the other tribe
try to stop them in any way possible. First tribe to three baskets
gets the Idol and gets to relax.
For Round 1, Uncle Jeff
wants three men from each tribe. Coulton, Jonas and Tarzan vs. Michael,
Jay and Troyzan. When Jeff tosses the ball in, Jay dunks both Coulton
and Jonas and passes to a wide-open Michael. He shoots, he SCORES!
1-0 Salani. Round 2 is two women and one man: Sabrina/Kat/Michael
vs. Christina/Monica/Leif. Well, sheesh, this ain't even gonna be
close, right? Michael runs out and gets the ball before anyone else
is NEAR it...but he misses THREE shots before Leif and the girls
catch-up. Leif wieghs Michael down and Monica grabs it. After a
scramble, Leif comes away with it. He shoots...and it goes around
the hoop and off. Another scramble with the girls. Michael grabs
it, shoves Christina...shoots...and SCORES! Two-nil, Salani.
Round 3 is all girls:
Christina/Monica/Alicia vs. Kat/Sabrina/Chelsea. The ball is dropped,
Kat reaches it first and tries to deke out Christina. But Christina
tackles her...though not before passing to Sabrina. Three-pointer
by her misses. She recovers...but Monica pulls it out of her grasp...she
shoots...she SCORES! Two-one, Salani! Round 4 is the same three
men each for Round 1. Coulton SPRINTS to the ball once dropped and
hangs on TIGHT as Jay and Michael gang up on him. "HELP ME,"
Coulton screams as Tarzan tries to help. Coulton escapes and tries
a half-court shot, but falls short. Jay recovers and shoots...and
misses. Troyzan rebounds...and misses. Michael rebounds...SCORE!
SALANI WINS IMMUNITY!
Well, can't say Coulton
didn't say so, right?
AFTERNOON 14: WHO'S GETTING
Everyone seems at least
relieved that Monica ended the shut-out. But all Monica can ask
is, "Now what?" Enter Coulton and Alicia for an Emmy-winning
performance for Best Blind-siding on a Reality Show. While Monica
gets Leif to agree to keep the tribe strong, Coulton tells Jonas
to vote Monica. And Jonas is fine being "Coulton's b*tch"
if it means he sticks around. Meanwhile, Alicia tells Christina
they should vote for Tarzan...and Chrstina agreed with her readily.
What's more, Jonas and Coulton LIKEWISE agree. And, when Monica
comes over, they ALL tell her it's gonna be Tarzan going home. And
Monica falls for it...hook, line and STINKER!
But, Leif,...well, after
what happened three days ago, Jonas is leary about telling him ANYTHING
about their plans...so Leif gets told by him it'll be Tarzan as
well. What Jonas DOESN'T know is that, by the Tree-Mail spot, Coulton
is informing Leif AND Tarzan that it's Monica going home. Of course,
even THIS is an adventure to Coulton, comparing Tarzan to an Alzheimer's
patient and knowing Leif's propecity to blabbing. He finds it difficilt
being "a leader of a bunch of idiots". Well, we'll see
if these "idiots" do what their leader tells them to at...
TRIBAL COUNCIL: NO, SERIOUSLY,
WHO IS 'CAUSE...I DON'T...
The Council Hutch of Doom
and Uncle Jeff awaits Manono...who got there LEGITIMATELY this time.
Jonas says that the Tribal Shuffle left Manono weak. Monica thinks
the change was a blessing. Coulton thinks that if Monica thinks
she can "right this sinking ship" then more power to her.
Alicia says Monica's an amazing person and very competative. But...she's
a threat. Monica thinks that's a PLUS as she's invaluable. And Leif
agrees...maybe a bit TOO much...but Monica doesn't seem to notice.
Tarzan says some nonsense
about "dropping assertiveness" and "different lodestones"
and the like...and Leif can't understand him at all with HIS limited
vocabulary. Tarzan doesn't say what he's shared with others about
himself...but everyone ELSE shares. And ONE thing Tarzan DOES share
there is that he has "nominal ephasia", meaning he can't
remember people's names. But he DOES get everyone's names right...with
a touch of help near the end.
OK, enough of this verbal
regurgitation: It is the chronological period to make a democratic
choice. The tribe marches to the alcove, scratches names down and
marches back, one-by-one. Monica writes down "Tarzan"
with a frowny-face. But what does Tarzan himself write down? We
don't know; they don't show. Uncle Jeff tallies the votes, asks
for 3Is, gets no takers and reads said votes:
Blindside complete! By
a 5-to-2 vote, Dante Culpepper's wife gets sacked. She leaves without
a word. And Uncle Jeff wonders if giving up arguably the strongest
player when they are admittedly the WEAKER tribe is a good strategy.
Only time will tell.
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