"Are There Instructions on Donkey Handling? - Leg 8" -
PIT STOP: LA PIETRA, ISLE OF CORSICA, FRANCE
From Budapest to the isle of Corsica, the Racers rushed around
Europe a little more. Some teams climbed a castle wall while
Jonathan & Victoria (Team Dom-Sub) decided to ride a raft. They
all ended up stomping grapes... except for Adam & Rebecca (Team
Shrek) who, despite some difficulties, walks along the ocean floor
in old diving suits to get the FAST FORWARD and arrive in first.
Hayden & Aaron (Team 'Dating' Actors) stumbled into the PIT STOP
last... but, since it's a non-elimination leg, they're still in
it... they're just like any OTHER actor-wannabes: they're broke.
At 12:12am Euro-time, Team Shrek gets ready to depart the scenic
overlook just outside of Ile Rousse with this clue:
Travel by ferry to the city of
Nice (pronounced like 'niece'), France. Then travel to the
city square and find your next clue in front of a bust of
World War I hero Albert I. Five teams have $143 for this leg
of the Race... but ONE team with start with $0.
Rebecca is sure that the ferries
aren't running this late... so they go to a nearby hotel to get
information and crash. It's almost two hours later when Freddy &
Kendra (Team Engaged Models) depart and likewise look for clues at
hotels. Lori & Bolo (Team Rasslers), Kris & Jon (Team
Restauranteurs) and Team Dom-Sub all reach the same conclusion...
and all ask the SAME hotel manager what time the ferries start to
leave (it's about 11:30am, according to the guy). BTW, Jonathan
says he and Victoria are going 'back to basics' where they'll each
control SOME part of the rest of the journey. (Why...do I doubt it
The broke Team 'Dating' Actors, however, know that the price for
the ferry ride is at least 120 Euros (which is somewhere around
$160-$180 US)...and they KNOW they need bread. So, while the other
teams snooze, they head for the ferry dock bright and early the
next morning and start to beg anyone who speaks English for dough.
And who says French people hate Americans? They were kind enough
for lend money to a pair of greedy American tourists wanting to
turn a few Euros into a million bucks... so they can't be all THAT
The ferry arrives and five teams get on. The sixth team runs to
the dock... and just BARELY makes the ferry (literally and
financially). so it's a six-way tie en route to:
The ferry docks at the beautiful seaside city... and Jonathan &
Victoria break from the pack to find a cab and vault into first.
Lori & Bolo, Adam & Rebecca and Freddy & Kendra grab cabs as well,
leaving the other two teams behind.
Team Dom-Sub find the bust and come up from behind it to locate
Fly to the capital city of Addis
Ababa, Ethiopia (about 4500 miles away). Once you arrive, find
a marked ticket counter and sign up for one of two flights to
Lalibela, a remote village tucked away in the highlands of
Ethiopia. The flights depart at 8am and 8:30am and can only
hold three teams apiece, first come first serve. Then find
marked vans with your next clue on the windshield.
One by one, the teams arrive by
the park, hop out of their cabs, grab the clue and then jump back
INTO their cabs en routo to the international airport in Nice. The
Model Alliance is back in effect now that Team 'Dating' Actors
have caught up to Team Engaged Models.
Jonathan & Victoria seem to be on the same page as they stop at a
travel agency. And, for once, they DON'T holler when the agent
tells them the computer is down...at least, until they get back in
As such, Team Rasslers arrives at the airport first and book
tickets on Air France via Rome to Addis Ababa, leaving at 6:05pm.
The problem is that the Rome layover is overnight... and the
second flight won't land in Ethiopia until 10pm.
But Freddy & Kendra have other ideas. Angry at the wrestlers
butting in front of Kendra and hearing of their route, they decide
to take Luftansia flight leaving the next morning and booked
through Cairo, dragginf Hayden & Aaron along for the ride. Adam &
Rebecca manage to get on an Air France flight tomorrow. Kris & Jon
go to a travel agent and get tickets on Swiss Air via Zurich and
Meanwhile, Team Dom-Sub goes from first to worst, arriving at the
airport last. They find an Alitalia via Rome... but it leaves at
the latest of all flights tomorrow.
AIR FRANCE (leaving today): Team Rasslers
AIR FRANCE (leaving tomorrow morning): Team Shrek
LUFTHANSA: Model Alliance
SWISS AIR: Team Restauranteurs
ALITALIA: Team Dom-Sub
All roads lead there... and so does Lori & Bolo's flight. Since
they haven't enough Euros for a proper hotel, they try to sleep in
the airport by the gate to they flight to Ethiopia.
The next morning, back at Nice, Adam & Rebecca decide to screw the
Air France flight and get on the Alitalia flight Jonathan &
Victoria are on since it DOES arrive earlier. Kris & Jon follow
suit. This leaves the Model Alliance behind. Adam is NOT too happy
with Rebecca giving info to Team Restauranteurs... and this upsets
Rebecca to no end. She claims Adam is as bad towards her as
Jonathan is towards Victoria (dunno if I'd go THAT far, but...).
In fact, she vows through tears that, once the Race is over for
them, THEY'RE over for good!
Hayden & Aaron and Freddy & Kendra depart to Cairo on the
Luftansia flight. Some time later, the three other teams head to
And, needless to say, as Team Rasslers await their flight, they
are NOT very happy to see Jonathan & Victoria, Adam &
Rebecca and Kris & Jon show up at the gate. But there's nothing
they can do about it; the "Great Race Equalizer" has struck again.
So it's four teams flying to...
ADDIS ABABA, ETHIOPIA
At 10pm, the flight labds and docks at the airport. Eight
Americans run out the door and towards the depature desk. It's
Team Shrek that legs it out and signs up first. Team Dom-Sub is
second and Team Rasslers third (thanks to Adam not wanting Team
Restauranteurs to be on the same flight). As such, Kris & Jon arew
stuck with the 8:30 flight.
Four and a half hours later, the Model Alliance touch down and
race for the counter... but they're stuck with the second charter
8am CHARTER: Team Shrek, Team Rasslers and Team
8:30am CHARTER: Team 'Dating'
Actors, Team Engaged Models and Team Restauranteurs
The first flight takes off on time and the players enjoy the
beautiful scenery. 30 minutes later, the second flight heads to...
As the first group lands, Jonathan & Victoria find the
vans and this clue:
The vans here have drivers.
Direct your driver to take you to Lewz Village (about 10 miles
away) and find your next clue on an overlook. NOTE: Your
driver will only go in the direction you tell him.
Jonathan decides to do what they
did the LAST time they arrived in Africa: get a guide. As they do
this, Lori & Bolo and Adam & Rebecca get in front of them.
Victoria yells at Jonathan to stop trying to bribe a porter to be
a guide and get in. But, by then, it's too late as the second
plane lands. They take off, and the other three teams follow close
behind. Kris & Jon are in fourth with the Model Alliance tailing
them (and complaining about the 'poverty'.
En route to...wherever they're going, Jonathan stops a local and
tries to hire him as a guide. He accepts...though there's no
telling whether the guy understands word one of English.
LEWS VILLAGE, ETHIOPIA
Team Shrek and Team Rasslers find the clue box first, with Team
Dom-Sub hot on their bumper. The race down the muddy hillside
(tripping on occassion) and run right into a:
DETOUR: Raise the
Roof or Mud the Hut? (Two manual labor tasks in Ethiopia)
RAISE THE ROOF: You will join a
group of locals and carry a thatched roof 2/3 of a mile to a
designated hut. You will then place the roof on the hut,
putting a jug in the very top. Once that is accomplished, you
will get your next clue.
MUD THE HUT: You will use a plaster of straw, dirt and water
and cover a wall of a traditional Ethiopian house. Once the
wall is completely covered with mud, you will receive your
Adam & Rebecca decide to RAISE THE ROOF while Adam & Bolo and
Jonathan & Victoria, after talking about which one is 'easier',
will MUD THE HUT. The wrestlers have no trouble shovelling the
plaster onto the gurney and carrying it to the wall... though Lori
IS a little grossed by getting her hands dirty. The entrepreneurs,
however, are a little more skeptical. As for Team Shrek, they jog
alongside the seven locals as they haul their roof down the path.
Meanwhile, the second trio of teams arrives. Hayden & Aaron and
Kris & Jon RAISE THE ROOF while Freddy & Kendra MUD THE HUT. As
Team Rasslers and Team Dom-Sub get half their walls done, Team
Shrek comes by with their roof.
Freddy groans and shows Kendra his left hand which is brown...and
RED from the blood coming from a massive cut. Still, Freddy
knuckles down and continues the flinging.
Adam & Rebecca arrive at their hut and help put the roof on top.
Then Adam climbs the ladder with a jug and places it on top. :
The manual labor isn't over yet.
Now take two donkeys about 3 miles down the path to St.
George's Church (a church inside a hole in the groud as you
can see from the enclosed picture). Once you arrive there, you
will give the donkeys to a farmer nearby and he will pay you
with your next clue.
As they leave, they pass Hayden & Aaron with THEIR roof.
Meanwhile, on the mud walls, Lori & Bolo are VERY close to
finishing...while Jonathan & Victoria have an issue with it... and
each other. There might be time, though, since Rebecca looks for
instructions on how to handle her donkey and yells, "Move your
ass, you ass!"
Hayden & Aaron get their roof up and go into second place after
Aaron puts the jug on top. They are quickly followed by Kris &
Jon, meaning all the roof-raisers have finished THEIR tasks. Team
'Dating' Actors get their donkeys out without a hitch (Aaron
pointing to Hayden as he whispers, "I have experience in guiding
asses.") but Adam finally gets Rebecca up to speed and they
haul... well, you know.
Meanwhile, Lori & Bolo finish the mud wall first and get into
fourth. Jonathan & Victoria are almost finished...when Vic
SCREAMS to high heaven and looks at her hand. Jonathan is
non-plussed and yells at Vic to suck it in and get back to work.
But Kendra is more sympathetic and screams, "JONATHAN, HELP HER!"
Of course, he doesn't. And Vic, after getting some cold water
dumped on her aching hand, vows not to get eliminated "just 'cause
my fingers hurt" and gets back in it. They manages to finish the
wall in fifth, but Team Engaged Models are right on their heels in
last. They're sure they're in DEEP trouble because there's
something just ahead:
YIELD # 2
This is the second of three
YIELDs in the Race. A team may use this to make another team
stop for a pre-determined amount of time (denoted by an
hourglass) before they can continue. Any team can be YIELDed
any number of times, but a team may only utilize a YIELD once
during the course of the Race.
The front three teams are well in
the lead and doing a jackassed version of the Cannonball Run and
Team Rasslers lagging in fourth...while Jonathan allows Victoria's
feet to be sliced while looking for the donkeys. Freddy & Kendra
leave just before them.
Team 'Dating' Actors arrive at the church first, give their
donkeys to the farmer and proceed down the steps to the YIELD.
They choose not to utilize it and proceed to the:
ROAD BLOCK: ("Who
has an eye for detail?")
One team member must go down into
the church where the priest will hand them a pendant. The
member must then search over 100 worshipers surrounding the
church for one wearing a matching pendant. Once you find the
right pendant, the worshiper will give you your next clue.
Hayden is chosen to enter the
church...and she is in awe at the "energy" in an around it. She
gets her pendant and starts the search.
Meanwhile, it appears that Kendra has asthma (or a reasonable
facsimile) for the first time in 15 years. But Freddy insists it's
just a 'panic thing'. Kendra gets help from the local kids who
help carry her backpack.
Hayden finds the match and runs up to Aaron to open the clue:
ROUTE INFO - PIT
Travel by foot to the next PIT
STOP: Lalibela Lookout (about a mile away) just outside the
Roja Hotel. WARNING: the last team to check-in MAY be
As the actors head down the rocky
road to Dubl...er, Lalibela, Team Rasslers arrives at the ROAD
BLOCK, with Lori going down to the church. Kris is chosen for Team
Restauranteurs. (Neither chose to YIELD, BTW.) But Lori misreads
the clue and starts to retrace her steps to go outside the HOLE,
not just the church. Kris then gets a head start on finding the
matching pendant. Lori has to about-face and get back down in the
hole to start her search.
Meanwhile, a 'short cut' turns ugly for Team Engaged Models as the
locals would NOT allow the donkeys through them during a holy
ceremony. That leads Team Dom-Sub to the farmer in third... but
they forgot something: the other DONKEY! Well, they're screwed.
And Vic starts to cry again... while Jonathan seems content with
The ladies have trouble with their search and are getting
frustrated. But Kris perserveres and grabs the clue first. She
joins Jon and the kids help them find the lookout. Lori FINALLY
finds HER match and gets her and Bolo on the road in third.
The last two teams show up at the church... but it's Adam &
Rebecca who arrive at the YIELD... and they USE it:
YIELD # 2
ADAM & REBECCA YIELD
FREDDY & KENDRA!
Suddenly, Jonathan & Victoria see
daylight! They confirm the YIELD and start to race back to get the
other donkey, hopping to get it to the farmer before the YIELD
expires. Freddy is PISSED as Kendra flips the hourglass over...
and, of course, blames Kendra for dallying. Meanwhile, Adam goes
down into the church...and pulls a 'Lori' and climbs back OUT.
Even WORSE, he follows someone up to where the MONKS are. Team
Dom-Sub grab their ass and head back down the road at full-speed,
Rebecca groans at Adam being stupid (again)... and Team Engaged
waits for the sands of time to run out...
PIT STOP: LALIBELA LOOKOUT, ETHIOPIA
The first team arrives in front of Phil Keoghan and a local monk.
And Phil says the magic words: "Hayden & Aaron, you're Team Number
One!" Team 'Dating' Actors fought back from being broke to winning
a Mexican vacation thanks to AA.com. Next on the mat is Lori &
Bolo, taking the #2 spot as Kris & Jon take the long way around
and arrive as Team # 3.
Meanwhile, Adam finds out his error and nearly curses as he heads
back. As he does, the sands run out and Freddy heads down to the
church (slipping on the bridge on the way.) While the men are
down, Kendra confronts Rebecca about the YIELD. Freddy gets the
pendant as Adam returns. As it is, the YIELD meant absolutely
bupkis as Freddy finds the pendant first and moves them ahead of
Adam & Rebecca. Adam DOES find the match and Team Shrek takes off
after them, a rather upset Adam cussing himself out all the way.
And, as they leave, Jonathan & Victoria arrive at the ROAD BLOCK.
OK,... NOW they're screwed... unless someone throws a shoe or
something on the way. Victoria searches among the worshipers and
gets their clue.
Freddy & Kendra arrive as Team #4 and, in the battle for fifth...
well, you just know it's Adam & Rebecca, right? Adam is VERY
Lead by a pack of 'worshippers' of their own, the team that has
been the penultimate candidates for Divorce Court march
up to the lookout to receive the bad news: Jonathan & Victoria are
the last team to arrive... and they've been eliminated from the
OK, here, I thought Jonathan was going to go all ape-$#!+ on
Victoria. But though he's disappointed, he doesn't think Vic let
him down. "The world's a tough place," he says, "and if you can
conquer ANY aspect of it - as an individual or a team - that's
something!" Vic is upset as well... but she enjoyed the Race, no
matter WHAT we've seen to the contrary. The married couple, having
endured over 4500 miles of travel today, walk to the overlook...
and kiss and embrace.
(Just proof positive that the riggers and anger made BY the Race
seem to be all too quickly forgotten once the Race is done. Hey,
CBS, how about getting together some ultra-violent
already-divorced people for the next Race and take it to the
ULTIMATE level next time?!? SHEESH!!)