"Quit Following Us!- Leg 5 "
- December 14
PIT STOP: GORÉE ISLAND, SENEGAL
Good news: the Racers have left Scandinavia. Bad news: they're in
the sweltering-hot nation of Senegal in Africa. Good news: they
did what Survivor contestants FAILED to do: catch fish.
Bad news: they caught them by puking for chum. Good news: Kris &
Jon (Team Restauranteurs) have the lead. Bad news: Jonathan &
Victoria (Team Dom-Sub) are in second...and Jonathan is NOT happy
about that. Good news: Don & Mary Jean (Team Married Grands) are
still in the Race despite being last. Bad news: they're broke.
After 12 hours of sleep, meals and plotting on the remote slave
island, Kris & Jon depart the PIT STOP at 12:52am local time with
| ROUTE INFO:
Search the island for the most
well-known Slave House in Africa, where many Africans were
held before being shipped to the New World as slaves. You
will find your next clue by the front door. Seven teams will
have $80 for this leg of the Race... but ONE team will start
long-distance daters start the search, determined to go through
the Race without alliances. Their search is long. In fact it's
SO long that, over an hour-and-a-third after they left, they
STILL haven't found it. That's when Jonathan & Victoria depart.
Jonathan doesn't want to be second place anymore and is angry
that he and Victoria can't "fight for that first position".
Obviously, he's taken the Dale Earnhadrt mentality of "second
place is the first loser". (And, remember, these two are
big-money entrepreneurs, folks; it's not like they NEED the
million bucks! Keep that in mind by the time the leg ends.)
Lori & Bolo (Team Rasslers) leave shortly after them, followed
closely by Hayden & Aaron (Team 'Dating' Actors) and Freddy &
Kendra (Team Engaged Models). It seems they've formed a small
"Model Alliance" as they meet outside the PIT STOP and search
for the Slave House together.
Adam & Rebecca (Team Shrek) depart in sixth and follow the
models (even though they say they're not GOING to follow as
much). They can't WAIT to leave Africa, now aware of WHY so many
escaped (way to lose the African-American audience, CBS). 20
minutes later, the only African-American team in the Race, Gus &
Hera (Team Who's Da Boss), departs. They were happy to be
together in this important place, the land of their heritage.
Finally, three-and-a-half hours after the first team leaves,
Team Married Grands leave, flat broke and in need of fundage but
still in the Race. And they'll GET money, even if they have to
put on a Vaudeville show to do it.
One at a time, the teams find the Slave House, where a local man
awaits outside to give them the next clue in a scroll:
For more than three centuries, African men,
women and children were imprisoned here at this house before
being sent to the New World as slaves when they boarded the
ships that would take them from their homes forever. The
slaves passed through an archway known as the Door of No
Return. Before leaving this island, you must honor the
memory of those whose lives were uprooted and sold into
slavery. At 8:30am, each Team will be given the opportunity
to enter the Slave House and place a single rose of tribute
on the threshold of this historic archway.
Well,...for some, it's some more
sleep and strategy time. For others, it's a time for reflection on
the task placed before them.
No matter what, the teams line up outside the front door in the
order they arrived. When 8:30am comes around, the doors open and
Team Restauranteurs enter first to make the tribute and say a
prayer at the Door of No Return. Next in is Team Rasslers, then
Team Dom-Sub, Team 'Dating' Actors, Team Engaged Models and Team
Shrek. Team Who's Da Boss, though, are adversely affected by this
place. And after placing the rose at the archway and turning to
leave,...Gus breaks out in tears. Some would call it the "Awwwwbarf"
moment of the show so far,... but I think it's rather touching.
Finally, Don & Mary Jean place the final rose down and departs.
The emotional part out of the way, the Race continues as each
team, on their way out, gets their next clue:
| ROUTE INFO:
You've just been to a monument
to oppressed slavery. Now make your way to the symbol of
TRIUMPH over oppression: the remains of the Berlin Wall in
Germany. Take a ferry back to the mainland, go to the
airport in Dakar and fly to Berlin (over 3000 miles). Then
take a train 10 miles to the East Side Gallery, one of the
few sections of the Berlin Wall still standing, to find your
The teams miss the first ferry
out and have to wait close to an hour for the next one. This
gives Team Married Grands the time to beg for cash. But that's
kind of hard to do in one of the poorest nations in the world.
Don, however, comes up with an interesting strategy: he begs the
OTHER TEAMS for some of THEIR money. Some are more generous than
others, but I guess they feel sorry for the old couple because
they DO give. Rebecca reluctantly gives them $5, certain it
won't break her and Adam.
Jonathan & Rebecca's guide from the last episode is STILL with
them (why, I have NO idea) and has agreed to bring them to a
travel agent once they get to the mainland. A few of the other
teams have the same idea while others go right to the airport.
Traffic has not improved from the previous day as taxis are at a
standstill en route to the airport. Kendra FURTHER insults the
country (and comes THIS CLOSE to passing Jonathan as the biggest
@$$#0le in the Race), wondering why these people keep breeding
in such poverty.
Jonathan & Victoria, Gus & Hera and Adam & Rebecca march
two-by-two into an Air France travel agency and all get tickets
on a flight to Berlin leaving Dakar at 7:15pm with a stop-over
in Paris. Kris & Jon then come in and get on the same flight.
At Dakar airport, the OTHER for teams go to the ticket counter.
Hayden & Aaron book tickets for them as well as Freddy &
Kendra... much to the chagrin of Lori & Bolo and Don & Mary
Jean. When Team Engaged Models shows up, Team Married Grands and
Team Rasslers refuse to let them into the counter office. An
argument starts between Aaron and Bolo... and Aaron plays the
stereotype card and tells Bolo, "Just because you're 5'5" and on
steroids..." Ohhhhhhh, it is ON, baby! Eventually, cooler heads
prevail and Bolo apologizes...to Hayden. He even LAUGHS about
the steroids comment. Eventually, everyone gets their
tickets...and they're all on the same flight. (Guess not too
many Senegalese fly to Berlin very often.)
It's been the capital of the unified Germany since the
early 90s...and it's where Team Engaged Models takes a slight
lead en route to the train station. Team Restauranteurs are in a
close second, followed by Team Shrek (who think 'Fahrvergnugen'
is German for 'fast'), Team Dom-Sub, Team 'Dating' Actors, Team
Who's Da Boss, Team Rasslers and - lagging behind - Team Married
The teams arrive at the train station and learn they must board
the "S-Bahn" train to go to the Wall (Don & Mary Jean find out
from the cabbie). Adam & Rebecca decide to forget what they
promised themselves and follow Jonathan & Victoria. This, of
course, bothers Jonathan to no end and he INSISTS that they stop
following them. Those two teams and Freddy & Kendra get on board
the first train out. The other teams depart on a second
train...except Lori & Bolo, who just miss the train pulling out,
and Don & Mary Jean, who are just pulling UP to the station. The
wrestlers get on the third train, while the grandparents take
the fourth, still in the rear.
At the destination, three teams disembark and race for the Wall.
Team Shrek and Team Restauranteurs go INSIDE the wall to what
was West Berlin... but Team Dom-Sub decide to stay on the east
side (makes sense) and, lo and behold, they find the clue first:
| ROUTE INFO:
Make your way to the
(Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church, a partially destroyed
church from World War II) in downtown Berlin. Down the
street from the church is a sculpture of a broken chain
(called "Berlin") where you will find your next clue.
As the team gets into a taxi to take
them to the chain, three MORE teams depart the second train. Gus
is awed that the same human degradation found in Senegal was
also found here. Team Rasslers get off their train as Freddy &
Kendra slip under a gate to the other side to continue their
search...and Adam & Rebecca get lost. This gives Team Married
Grands' train time to arrive.
It's Kris & Jon who find the clue second, followed closely by
Hayden & Aaron and Gus & Hera. Team Engaged Models and Team
Shrek figure out they overshot the clue and run back to get it
in 5th and 6th. Lori & Bolo grab it seventh and...you guessed
it...Don & Mary Jean are STILL in last.
And it looks like they'll REMAIN in last because the first
cabbie they talk to say that they can use the train to get there
faster. So, failing to confirm this, they get on the train.
Meanwhile, in downtown Berlin, Team Dom-Sub reach the chain
sculpture first and hit a:
DETOUR: Beer or Brats?
BEER: Go to Brauhaus (beer
house) Spandau. Take steins of beer and search the crowded
bar for coasters with your team's faces and names on them.
You must find five coasters and trade two steins of beer for
each. Once you bring all five coasters to the bartender,
you'll get your next clue.
BRATS: Travel to the Citadel and use a hand-operated sausage
maker to stuff five links of sausage. Each link MUST be at
least seven inches long. If you succeed, you will get your
Jonathan asks Victoria to decide
on what to do and she says, "Let's do the links." Hoping she's
not talking about a golf course, Jonathan brings Vic to a taxi
and head for the Citadel, confident he can do this since "If
Lucy can do it, so can I." (Guess we'll have to see if it's as
comical as I Love Lucy.)
Kris & Jon arrive at the chains and decide on BEER. But they are
ALSO told to take the train to it. Gus & Hera and Hayden & Aaron
also decide on BEER and grab cabs. Lori & Bolo pick BRATS, as
well as Adam & Rebecca. Freddy & Kendra, after discussing what
the heck 'steins' are, choose BEER. And Don & Mary Jean (who
were actually given GOOD advice when it came to the train) get
lost around the church but, eventually, arrive in last and
BEER: Team Dom-Sub, Team Who's Da Boss, Team
Shrek and Team Engaged Models.
BRATS: Team Married Grands, Team 'Dating'
Actors, Team Rasslers and Team Engaged Models.
Jonathan & Victoria arrive at the Citadel and actually work WELL
together (for once) in making the links. The "Model Alliance"
arrives at the beer house and start to look for their "mugs" to
trade for their mugs...er, stein. Freddy & Kendra find their
first two before Hayden & Aaron even fibd their first two. It's
neck-and-neck at four after a while as Team Dom-Sub take great
care in making sure the links are the right length.
It's the married entrepreneurs who finish the DETOUR first and
get their next clue:
| ROUTE INFO:
Make your way to Teufelsberg
("Devil's Mountain", about 5 miles away), the highest point
in Berlin. At the base of the mountain, you'll find your
As they leave, Team Rasslers
shows up, causing Jonathan to have a conniption and yell at
Victoria. Vic tells him to leave her alone, but he cleverly
replies, "I promised to NEVER leave you alone; that's why I
married you." The wrestlers start their brat-making trek...
...just as Team 'Dating' Actors gets help from Team Engaged
Models as to where their last coaster is. Sure enough, Hayden &
Aaron find the coaster, bring it to the bar and get going to
Devil's Mountain. Right behind them are the models. But, while
Freddy & Kendra find a cabbie that KNOWS where the mountain is,
Hayden & Aaron gets a cab without clue #1.
As they leave, Gus & Hera arrive and ask the beer-swillers for
"pictures of black people". Meanwhile, Team Shrek arrives at the
Citadel and starts their sausages as Team Rasslers get rejected
for having links too small.
Oh, yes, Kris & Jon...nearly forgot about them. They get off the
train and end up at the beerhouse. (Boy, these Germans KNOW
their city, don't they?) No sooner do they get their steins when
they find their first coaster. Gus takes a small sip of beer as
Hera finds THEIR first coaster. Coincidentally, Bolo is licking
the raw sausage off his fingers at the same time... much to
Adam's disgust. Anyway, Team Restauranteurs find their five
coasters and take off in fourth place. Team Who's Da Boss are
right behind them... right after Gus takes another swig, much to
Back at the Citadel, Team Rasslers' second time around is
successful and they head out for Devil's Mountain in fifth, but
Team Shrek are more or less RIGHT behind them. Even more so,
Lori & Bolo decide to WALK to the train station while Adam &
Rebecca stay smart and take a cab to the mountain. When Lori &
Bolo get on the train, they find out from another local that
they're on the wrong train! But it's too late; it takes off. At
the next station, after arguing with each other, they get help
from another tourist who will walk them to the train that takes
them closest to the mountain.
Meanwhile, Don & Mary Jean arrive at the sausage and work on
their brats quickly and cleanly, trying to make up time en route
Team Dom-Sub continue to set the pace...and hope not to get a
flat during a:
| ROAD BLOCK: ("Who
has the need for speed?")
One team member must climb up
the mountain and race a soap box derby car down the winding
path in less than 37 seconds (a competative time on the
German soap box derby circuit [yeah, who knew?]). Do this
and you'll get your next clue. Fail and you must keep trying
until you do.
The two unanimously decide on
Jonathan having the "need for speed", so he races up the
mountain, confident in their lead and in his driving ability. He
ducks his head down for less wind resistance and, with Vic
cheering him on, finishes the course in 35 seconds flat. This,
of course, makes them both happy and grants them their final
clue of the leg:
| ROUTE INFO - PIT STOP:
Drive yourself in a marked car
into downtown Berlin and find a marked parking area. Then
make your way on foot to the next PIT STOP: Brandenburg Gate
(the symbol of reunified Germany). WARNING: the last team to
check-in may be ELIMINATED!
They stop by their cabbie to get
proper directions...when Jonathan has another fit, since Freddy
& Kendra have just pulled in. As they pull out, Freddy decides
to ride down the mountain, which his does in a mere 35 seconds.
They find their OWN cabbie and she volunteers to let them tail
her to the parking lane. Hayden then does the race in UNDER 35,
just as Team Who's Da Boss and Team Restauranteurs pull up. Hera
and Jon decide to race...and it's a dead heat at 35 seconds. The
teams then agree to split a cab fare and BOTH follow the cab to
Team Rasslers, quite irate right now, gets off at their stop and
have a hard time finding someone who speaks English to help
them. Meanwhile, Rebecca finishes her run in 34.79 seconds. So
it's a race between the walking wrestlers and the riding
grandparents for last place.
Meanwhile, on the road to Berlin (wasn't that a Hope/Crosby
movie?), Jonathan tells Victoria that, if they don't win this
leg, he's going to go off... on HER! As they argue and switch
between driver and passenger, Freddy & Kendra sneak by. They
both arrive at the designated spot at the same time, so it's a
PIT STOP: BRANDENBURG GATE, BERLIN, GERMANY
And here is where the most disgusting display of
humanity occurs. Jonathan, wanting to lighten his load, asks a
bystander to hold his backpack. But Victoria is afraid it'll be
stolen and grabs it, with Jonathan yelling VOCALLY at her. As
they near the gate, he drops the backpack behind a
barrier...but, AGAIN, Vic grabs it in fear, making Jonathan
scream even LOUDER at her! This, of course, leads to Team
Engaged Models passing them (making Jonathan scream even MORE)
and hitting the mat in front of Phil Keoghan and a native German
first and Phil announcing, "Freddy & Kendra, you're Team Number
1!" And they ALSO win a Mexican vacation thanks to AA.com.
That's not the disgusting display.
The disgusting display is when Jonathan yells at Victoria all
the way as they walk to the PIT STOP...and he actually SHOVES
her for supposedly letting the win get away from them. She's
crying as they get checked-in as Team #2. Then Jonathan
CONTINUES to berate Victoria in front of Phil (who looks rather
uncomfortable). Vic goes away crying...and Phil asks Jonathan to
talk to her some more... but all he can say is, "Why did you
pick up my pack?!" Vic has nothing to say to him.
<Soap box=on>(Folks, if this doesn't end in a lengthy and
expensive divorce then Victoria had BETTER check herself into a
mental hospital and Jonathan had BETTER take anger management
courses or go to jail! Jonathan is a bully, Vic is a victim and
BOTH should get away from each other or get help if they REFUSE
Meanwhile, Team Rasslers reach the ROAD BLOCK and elect Lori to
race. She finishes the course in the slowest time yet: 35.15
seconds. They start their drive to the PIT STOP. Time
passes...and Mary Jean finishes the ROAD BLOCK in an even slower
35.76 seconds...and then crashes into the barricade because she
forgets her brakes.
Hayden & Aaron are Team #3; Gus & Hera, in gratitude for Kris &
Jon letting them follow, let Team Restauranteurs check-in as #4
while Team Who's Da Boss comes in as #5; Team Shrek is #6 again.
Bolo, once again, stops for directions en route to the PIT STOP.
WIll this give Don & Mary Jean a chance to pass them?
Uh,.....no. Team Rasslers are Team #7! And they can't believe
For the second straight week, Phil says, "Don & Mary
Jean...you're the last team to arrive." This time, however, the
news is ALL bad: this IS an elimination leg...and Team Married
Grands' 3000+ miles travelled is all they're doing. Still,
they're greatful for each other. Don says, "If anyone man has a
relationship like the one I have with Mary Jean, they are truly
YA HEAR THAT, JONATHAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?