STARTING LINE: CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, USA

When you get 22 people from all over the country together as 11 pairs with current relationships and tell them that the one who gets around the world the quickest wins a million dollars,...you MUST be talking about THE AMAZING RACE!

The sixth edition of this globetrotting adventure starts with the 11 teams arriving via three speedboats across Lake Michigan to downtown Chicago. They are:

KRIS & JON: a student/waitress and a restaurant partner who have been long-distance dating for over a year who want to get to know each other better.

LENA & KRISTY: sisters, models and college students from Utah...who, though they grew up Mormon, have quite different outtakes on life. Kristy is more serious while Lena's the party girl.

LORI & BOLO: married professional wrestlers (you can't make $#|+ like this up, folks!) from Florida who claim to be the "heels" (that's pro-wrestling talk for "bad guys") of this Race.

DON & MARY JEAN: married grandparents (the best kind) from Portola Valley, CA who, like many old couples before them, want to prove they're not too old to globe-trot.

AVI & JOE: high school buddies from Brooklyn, NY who live on separate coasts now and have different "hearts"; Avi "runs people over", and Joe picks them up afterwards

HAYDEN & AARON: DATING model/actors from Los Angeles who, like others, use this Race to test their love (if they're actors in L.A., you KNOW it's got a 95% chance of not lasting) and are rather diabetic about their love for each other

GUS & HERA: a father & daughter team who want to better their rather choppy relationship...even though Gus says HE'LL be "the boss" of the team since he's "more stubborn"

JONATHAN & VICTORIA: a married couple also from Los Angeles who are entrepreneurs who, honestly, don't look like they NEED the money. Jonathan looks like the dominator to Victoria's submissive nature

FREDDY & KENDRA: engaged models from Miami, FL who have a 10-year gap between them but STILL want to have children once the Race is over

MEREDITH & MARIA: best friends from Queens, NY who are friendly, charming and funny (translation: they're gonna try to connive their way through the Race)

ADAM & REBECCA: two fitness trainers ALSO from L.A. (I sense a trend here) who are ex-lovers trying to find love again after a year of seperation (Chico calls them "Shrek and Fiona" because of Adam's hairstyle...but didn't Fiona turn into an ogre as well?)

(Like last time, I'll come up with team names for them to cut down on the amphersands.)

I think you should know the deal by now. But, in case you don't, here are the different things these teams will have to look for in their global trek:

This will continue until one team has circumnavigated the globe over 40,000 miles and has reached the FINISH LINE! first. Upon reaching said line, host Phil Keoghan will reward them with [Dr. Evil]One MMMMMILLION dollars![/Dr. Evil]

Phil meets the 22 wacky Racers at the ??? Fountain (the one I know best from the start of "Married...With Children") where he give them the rules. They'll have to perform tasks en route around the world, they'll be given a small amount of cash to cover all expenses (except air travel) at the start of each leg, they'll have PIT STOPs to stop at (eight of them which are elimination points), their first clues are on their bags 50 feet behind him, they can catch the "El" train to O'Hare International Airport after they read the clue... and the first to the FINISH LINE! gets the million. He then says his usual starting phrase. "The world is waiting for you. Good luck...travel safe...GO!!"

And The Amazing Race 6 is ON!!!

No trips or pushing THIS time as all teams make it to their bags sans injury. And their first clue:  

One-by-one, the teams depart the park. Freddy & Kendra seem to know their way around the Windy City and take an early lead while Don & Mary Jean lag behind. The teams get a lot of help from the locals as to where the train station is. Lori & Bolo (Team Rasslers) are used to pain...and they HAVE it from jogging with heavy packs. What's FUNNY is that Lori offered to carry Bolo's pack.

The teams find their ways to the Blue Line to the airport. The first team there is Adam & Rebecca (Team Shrek [just for you, Chico]), followed closely by the ALREADY arguing Jonathan & Victoria (Team Dom-Sub). Other teams slowly filter in to the station and the first subway to O'Hare is caught by Freddy & Kendra (Team Engaged Models), Team Shrek, Kris & Jon (Team Restauranteurs), Hayden & Aaron (Team 'Dating' Actors), Gus & Hera (Team Who's Da Boss), Avi & Joe (Team Brooklyn Buddies), Team Rasslin' and Team Dom-Sub. This leaves three still trying to FIND the place.

Don & Mary Jean (Team Married Grands) stick with Meredith & Maria (Team Queens; sort of a double meaning there) as they look for the Blue Line and finally find it. Maria says, "We may not be in the best of shape, but we're on the right frickin' train!" Lena & Kristy (Team Mormon Models) get some help to Blue Line and JUST MAKE the same train.

On the first train, the seven teams meet and introduce each other, noting Adam's "Hellboy" haircut. Alliances are ALREADY being made as Team Who's Da Boss (well, specifically former CIA operative Gus) tries to promise to share info with Team 'Dating' Actors and Team Brooklyn Buddies. The first team they're gunning for...is Team Dom-Sub.

But the entrepreneurs ain't idiots. They go into another car and ask some people with cell phones to call United and American to find out which of the three flights arrive the earliest. Oddly enough, both Gus & Hera and Team Restauranteus have the same idea. It turns out that, though the American flights have connections in Baltimore and Boston, the United flight goes through...Minneapolis?! Ah, but wait. There's a hurricane coming up the coast (*SHIVER* sorry, bad memories) so MAYBE the Minneapolis flight will MISS the storm and not have a delay. And, if there ISN'T a delay ANYWHERE, it's gonna still be close...because all three flights arrive in Iceland about FIVE MINUTES apart!

O'HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, USA

The first train arrives and eight teams rush out to make their reservations. They all make their way to the International Terminal...EXCEPT for Jonathan & Victoria, since Vic INSISTS that this is a DOMESTIC flight since it's routing to Minneapolis.

Meanwhile, the second train arrives and the three teams decide to all go to American so they can check on all THREE flights at the same time and THEN determine which one to get on.

The first to book a flight are Kris & Jon, who get on the United Flight via Minneapolis. Lori & Bolo are right behind them to get on that flight, and Team Dom-Sub FINALLY gets convinced to go to international right behind them. They all want to take advantage of the bad weather on the East Coast. Behind them is Team Shrek and Team Engaged Models...but is the flight booked already? As Jonathan tries to convince Bolo that they're "super-heroes" by the color of their shirts, the first two teams book themselves on United. The clerk says that two more teams will make it, so Freddy & Kendra had for American.

Most everyone else goes to the American counter to check on THOSE flights. Gus & Hera, Avi & Joe and Hayden & Aaron make the flight through Boston while Don & Mary Jean, Meredith & Maria, Lena & Kristy and the late-arriving Freddy & Kendra get tickets through "Bawl-mer".

UNTIED FLIGHT via Minneapolis: Team Restauranteurs, Team Rasslers, Team Dom-Sub and Team Shrek
AMERICAN FLIGHT via Boston: Team Who's Da Boss, Team Brooklyn Buddies and Team 'Dating' Actors
AMERICAN FLIGHT via Baltimore: Team Mormon Models, Team Married Grands, Team Queens and Team Engaged Models

Ut oh...the Bah-stin flight is delayed for about 45 minutes due to weather...but the Baltimore flight is still on time! Four teams will be just behind the leaders...while three will be left in the back of the pack. All they're hoping is that they'll be able to make their connection to Iceland.

REYKJAVIK, ICELAND

In the quaint capital of Iceland where so many US/Soviet summits took place during the Reagan Error...er, Era, the first plane touches down at 5:54am local time...and it's the Baltimore flight! It takes a while for the four teams to find their cars but, when they do, they're greeted to this message on the steering wheel:

Team Engaged Models are the first to depart, Team Mormon Models leave in second (but aren't sure if they're going the right way), Team Married Grands are right behind and Team Queens take up the rear. They drive through the foggy air as the sun comes up over Road 1.

Nine minutes after the Baltimore flight arrives, the Minneapolis flight lands. The four teams find their cars and clues...JUST as the Boston flight arrives ONE MINUTE later! All eleven teams are TEN MINUTES APART from first to last. But...some are more together than others. Jonathan & Victoria, for instance, argue about where the waterfall is on the map. Lori & Bolo, however, are smart (for wrestlers) and get help from a native. Adam & Rebecca are arguing about Rebecca comparing Iceland to Scotland and not watching the signs. In last are Avi & Joe, singing, "New York Jews in Iceland". And

Each team tries to get directions in their own way. Lena tells Kristy that they'd "have to be totally idiots" to miss the waterfall. (cue omnious music.) Team Rasslers ask a fisherman on the way to make sure they're going the right direction...and are thusly passed by Gus & Hera and Avi & Joe. The Train #1 Alliance made in Chicago holds true as Hayden helps Gus figure out where they're going. Kris & Jon have no idea how to PRONOUNCE the waterfall so they can GET help. Don & Mary Jean drive through a street full of wasted people (and, no, it's not filming for the third Resident Evil movie). And other teams simply follow...other teams, whether they're going the right way or NOT.

SELJALANDSFOSS WATERFALL, ICELAND

Freddy & Kendra are the first to find A waterfall, with Lena & Kristy right behind...but they don't think it's THE waterfall that they're looking for according to the roadsign (actually, it IS). They're having a REAL hard time with this. Team Queens is caught up to by Team Brooklyn Buddies (NYC in da howse!) and passes them. In the fog, the friends turn left...while the girls turn right. The rest of the Alliance follows Avi & Joe to the parking lot and they all run down the path towards the waterfall. The only one it's really a tough road for...is Gus.

A few minutes later, Team Rasslers find the falls and jog after them. But it's the Alliance that reaches the Route Marker first:

Team 'Dating' Actors are the first to get out of the waterfall and into their car. As Team Queens wises up and turns around, Team Who Da Boss leaves in second place, with Lori & Bolo close behind and Team Brooklyn Buddies in fourth. As Hayden & Aaron pass Meredith & Maria, they point in the opposite direction and, as expected, the girls follow them. Aaron's happy...but Hayden hates being mean.

Adam & Rebecca get passed by Kris & Jon...and "Shrek" wants to RAM them for it. No ramming is done, but they both arrive at the falls at about the same time and grab the clue at the same time. Team Engaged Models FINALLY find their way back and Team Mormon Models are right behind them. Behind them is Team Dom-Sub, arguing all the way. That leaves Team Married Grands hoping they didn't go too far...and Team Queens following the wrong car.

Yup, it's another "Cannonball Run", folks. Seven cars, two lanes, very little sense of morality and safety. Only Gus & Hera seem to be taking it safe and easy. Hera TRIES to retake the lead, but she's pushed back into the lane by oncoming traffic. Gus says to let them go.

Don & Mary Jean are the tenth to make it to the falls and WALK to the clue. They THINK they're in last...but Meredith & Maria are still LOOKING for it. They stop at a gas station...which just so happens to be where Adam & Rebecca have stopped for directions to the glacier. They find out that they missed it by about an hour and a half of driving...so they are SO in last!

VATNAJOKULL GLACIER, ICELAND

Hayden & Aaron arrive first, but Lori & Bolo, Lena & Kristy and Kris & Jon are right behind them. They sign up for the shuttles in that order, with Avi & Joe right behind them on the second shuttle. The first three teams take the shuttle while Jonathan is thinking about d-i-v-o-r-c-e from Victoria's lack of "boundaries"...and Gus & Hera take it easy towards the glacier. The second shuttle leaves a little later with Team Brooklyn Buddies, Team Restauranteurs and Team Shrek. Teams then sign up for Shuttle #3: Team Dom-Sub, Team Who's Da Boss and Team Engaged Models.

For being a glacier, this thing sure has a lot of dirt and green spots on it. The big-wheeled shuttles drive the teams down a dirt road towards the ice that starts the actual glacier. Upon arrival, Team Rasslers, Team 'Dating' Actors and Team Mormon Models find snowmobiles...and a clue:

Kristy is NOT to thrilled about sleeping in a tent, "jet-setter" that she is. But she goes along with it. Lori & Bolo leave in first, Lena & Kristy in second and Hayden & Aaron in third.

Meanwhile, back at base camp, the third shuttle is about to take off...just as Team Married Grands show up to sign up for the fourth shuttle. Also meanwhile, Team Queens had veered away and have FINALLY arrived at the falls. All they need to do now is haul ass to the glacier before the fourth shuttle leaves. They are happy that they know how to get there...but they're a LITTLE peeved that they were deceived like that.

At the glacier camp, Lori & Bolo and Lena & Kristy arrive at about the same time. They don't know that the times are 10am, 10:30am, 11am and 11:30am...but Team Rasslers find a 10am ticket and pull it. Team Mormon Models don't hear Bolo yelling about the great time they have...but they take a 10:30am ticket anyway. Then Team 'Dating' Actors arrive and look for a 10am.

The second shuttle arrives at the snowmobiles and the three teams take off Avi & Joe are CERTAIN God has a sense of humor for having them sleep on a glacier tonight...but, hey, outside of sleeping in an alley in the wintertime, where ELSE can you sleep and freeze at the same time? Kris & Jon take off first with Avi & Joe in a close second and Adam & Rebecca in a comfy third.

When Shuttle #3 arrives, Jonathan & Victoria are the first out of the gates, followed closely by Freddy & Kendra and Gus & Hera. Shuttle #4 leaves...with ONLY Don & Mary Jean on it. This leaves Meredith & Maria stuck on a fifth shuttle solo...and most-likely stuck with an 11am depature time tomorrow.

Team Restauranteurs arrive at the camp and, after some looking around, gets a 10:30 departure time. Team Brooklyn Buddies likewise look around and go on the 10:30 shuttle. Team Shrek then arrives and, not finding anything sooner than 11am, take that.

Some time later, Team Dom-Sub arrive...and almost plows THROUGH the camp. They look around in a hurry, with Team Engaged Models right on their heels. They both wind up on the 11am shuttle. Team Who's Da Boss actaully overturn their mobile at the "parking lot"...and they arrive to find nothing but "TAKEN"s and "11:30"s...so they're stuck on the last shuttle back. Eventually, Team Married Grands and Team Queens arrive and take the last two tickets and tents.

10am shuttle: Lori & Bolo and Hayden & Aaron
10:30am shuttle: Kris & Jon, Avi & Joe and Lena & Kristy
11am shuttle: Jonathan & Victoria, Freddy & Kandra and Adam & Rebecca
11:30am shuttle: Don & Mary Jean, Gus & Hera and Meredith & Maria

As the teams relax on their non-PIT STOP pit stop, Team Rasslers give off an exhibition on their business, their hobby, their life. The exhibition over, they welcome Meredith & Maria as if they were crossing the FINISH LINE! already. As for Jonathan & Victoria,...they're STILL arguing with each other.