|"I'm Not His Wife; He Doesn't Need to Scream at
Me!: Leg 2" - November
PIT STOP: BLUE LAGOON RESORT, GRINDAVIK, ICELAND
After jetting from Chicago to Iceland, sleeping overnight on an iceberg and engaging in ice climbing and ice searching, Hayden & Aaron (Team 'Dating' Actors) arrived at Iceland's famous hot springs resort at the front of the pack. Almost an hour behind them are Kris & Jon (Team Restauranteurs) in second, Gus & Hera (Team Who's Da Boss) arrive in last...and Avi & Joe (Team Brooklyn Buddies) were sent packing back to the N-Y-C.
12 hours to eat, sleep, schmooze and strategize before, at 4:57am local time, the thespians rip open the clue to start the second leg:
| ROUTE INFO:
| Fly to Oslo, Norway. Head back to
Reykjavik International Airport and take any commercial flight to Oslo (over 1000 miles away), then take a marked vehicle and drive yourselves roughly 35 miles to the Holmenkollen Ski Jump (a landmark to
Norwegians). There, you will find your next clue. You have $181 for this leg of the Race.
Hayden & Aaron only met a "few months ago", according to him, so they're still learning about each other's quirks. Hayden doesn't want Aaron to yell at her while she drive them on the road to the Icelandic capital. Aaron calls that "bossy"...but he loves that about her.
A whopping 45 minutes behind them are Kris & Jon
depart, NOT arguing and supposedly staying focused. A few minutes later, Lena & Kristy (Team Mormon Models) follow, Lena driving and Kristy listening. Right behind THEM are Freddy & Kendra (Team Engaged Models)...and right behind THEM are a kissing Jonathan & Victoria (Team Dom-Sub), who try to see what stinks about themselves...but who CONTINUE to argue with each other nonetheless.
It's 5:50am when Lori & Bolo (Team Rasslers) depart. Bolo wants to win the million bucks for Lori since
she dragged him out of a life of beating people up and joined in a life of...well,...beating people up in a controlled setting. It's 43 minutes later when Adam & Rebecca (Team Shrek) depart. Rebecca tries to be a safe back-seat driver and Adam has to FIGHT back a yell to tell her to "sit back and enjoy the drive". Just behind them are Meredith & Maria (Team Queens), who are excited to meet the "handsome" Oslo men.
The last two teams to leave are Don & Mary Jean (Team Married Grands) and, over two hours behind the leaders, Gus & Hera. Despite the distance, they're all heading to the same place...
The teams start to file into the airport, heading right to Islandair to try and get tickets to Oslo. Team 'Dating' Actors, Team
Restaurateurs and Team Mormon Models arrive at about the same time, while Team Dom-Sub, Team Rasslers and Team Shrek arrive in the parking lot. It's Lena & Kristy that get the first tickets to Oslo via Copenhagen, Denmark. However, they noticed a LOT of seats were
available and, thus, it might just turn into a ten-way tie. Sure enough, all the teams arrive...and they are all able to get on the same flight to wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen, connecting to...
In the third most northern national capital in the world (behind
Stockholm, Sweden and Reykjavik), the plane lands and twenty pairs of legs huff and puff to get out of the terminal and find their vehicles. Freddy & Kendra and Gus & Hera are the first two to find their vehicles on the second level of the short-term parking garage and haul. Don & Mary Jean have to duck under the barricade to keep from being seen by Jonathan & Victoria, though it doesn't work. The other teams depart one by one...
...except for Lena & Kristy. See, they get help from someone who says their SON can show them EXACTLY where they need to go. Excellent! Oh, and Meredith & Maria are lagging, too, since Maria is a LITTLE off when it comes to driving a stick-shift vehicle. And BECAUSE of her constantly stalling the vehicle, Kris & Jon and Hayden & Aaron are stuck behind them! Team Queens tells the others to go around them as they work this out.
Team Engaged Models miss their exit to the ski jump, as do Team Who's Da Boss and Team Married Grands and...aw, hell, just about EVERYONE is having a hard time finding the place! And, of course, Team Dom-Sub takes it the worst...well, Victoria does, anyway. She's already hating that Jonathan blames her for every little thing that goes wrong. The only ones NOT having problems as Team Mormon Models and Team
Restaurateurs. They find the exit without a hitch.
It's kinda HARD to miss the super-tall ski jump sticking out of a mountainside so it's amazing that only two teams are able to park their vehicles and run to the Route Marker, where they run headlong into their first...
| ROAD BLOCK: (Who's ready to perform an Olympian feat?)
| Don't worry; you don't have to ski jump...but it'll be CLOSE! The one chosen to do this task must climb the steps of the ski jump (the highest in
Scandinavia) and ride a 1000-foot zip line to the bottom. Upon reaching the bottom, you will receive your next clue.
(Oh, yeah...in THIS Race, no one member of a team can before more than six ROAD BLOCKs. So the teams must choose VERY carefully as to who does what task...or they may end up doing a task with the less qualified person.)
Jon and Kristy are chosen to do the task...even though Kristy is VERY afraid of heights (where do reality shows FIND all these acrophobic people?!?). Because of this trepidation on her part, it's Jon that takes the long ride down the line first and vaults Team Restauranteurs into first place! Their reward is this clue:
| ROUTE INFO:
| Norway is the homeland of the Vikings; it's time for you to see how they lived all those years ago. Drive yourselves to the village of Brandbu (over 50 miles away) and locate the "Viking Village" to find your next clue.
As Jon & Kris split, Kristy gets up the gumption to get strapped in and take that 1000-foot ride. Oddly enough, she has a BLAST, even though she was scared out of her wits! They get the clue to the Viking village and depart in second place, using their "guide" to get there.
Meanwhile, Team Queens are STILL struggling with the stick-shift...and Maria gives up on trying to figure it out. But, after some comforting words from Meredith, Maria starts the engine up again and sends them heading towards the jump.
Team Rasslers arrive next with Team Shrek right behind them. It's Bolo and Adam (after a long pause to consider) who choose to go...and it's Bolo who reaches the top first (big shocker). Bolo has a wonderful ride to put him & Lori into third...but "Shrek" screams loudly all the way down, constantly saying, "MOM, I LOVE YOU!" He makes it down in one piece, but suffice it to say that it's REBECCA who will be driving the fourth-place Team Shrek to the village.
The next one down the line is Hera of Team Who's Da Boss, followed not too closely by Kendra of Team 'Dating' Actors.
Thanks to their trusty Norse guide, Lena & Kristy arrive at the Viking Village first. After wishing him good-bye, they jjog to the Route Marker and pull out perhaps the most-wicked clue in Race history:
| ROUTE INFO:
| At 7am tomorrow, you will randomly pick one of two
Norwegian rowboats and, along with four other teams, you will race to a marked dock on the other side of the nearby fjord. Once you row to the dock, you may jump out and run to the next clue. In the meantime, relax at this traditional
Needless to say, the girls are NOT too thrilled with the concept. Neither is Kris & Jon when THEY arrive in the pouring rain.
The next to the ROAD BLOCK are Jonathan & Victoria. Sure enough, Jonathan chooses to go. Don & Mary Jean are just behind them and Don immediately says
He'll do it...without discussing the fact that Mary Jean REALLY wanted to do it. Ah, well. The GOOD news is that BOTH men go down the line at the SAME TIME, so they're TIED for seventh as they get the clue for the village. However, Mary Jean berates Don about the "agreement" they made.
As they drive to the village, others are still making their way to the jump, including the stick-inept Team Queens. Meanwhile, Jonathan actually SHOVES Victoria away as he tries to get directions to the village. Obviously, the directions work because they're the third to the village. Jonathan, over-confident as always, thinks they're the first ones there...but Victoria knows better. Jonathan goes on and berates Vic in front of Team Mormon Models...which makes it an instant dislike of him by the sisters. Oddly enough, Team Married Grands are in fourth.
At the ROAD BLOCK, Aaron goes to the ski jump for Team 'Dating' Actors, the ninth team to do so. They're not sure how far back they've gone from the first-place finish yesterday, but they're going to keep trying.
Team Rasslers arrive at the village fifth, followed by Team Shrek and Team Who's Da Boss. Team Engaged Models arrive in eighth, meaning one is on its way there...
...and one FINALLY reaches the ROAD BLOCK! Maria chooses to do the task... and
can't BELIEVE what she's gotten herself into. But Meredith isn't going to begrudge her friend; she deserves it for the night that she's had. Down the line goes a screaming Maria and they get to clue to head to the village. With the adrenaline rush given to her, Maria puts it into first and second like a pro. They arrive in last, right behind Hayden & Aaron. But all that doesn't mean anything, since all ten teams are, again, in a tie for first.
As the sun rises over the fjord, the teams are divided into their two uber-teams:
TEAM 1: Team Rasslers, Team Shrek, Team 'Dating' Actors, Team
Restaurateurs and Team Mormon Models
TEAM 2: Team Who's Da Boss, Team Dom-Sub, Team Queens, Team Engaged Models and Team Married Grands
Team 1 has a much larger boat, but it looks more sturdy. Team 2's boat is lower to the water but it's lighter. But Team 1 is more synchronized in their rowing, all with the common goal of proving that size (or lack thereof) DOESN'T matter. Team 2...er,...not so much. They are very disorganized and argumentative with each other and they fall behind rather quickly.
Do we have to say who is triumphant? Team 1 wins imm...oops...wrong CBS reality show...sorry. Team 1 wins the race, meaning that five teams are in a tie for first as they grab the next clue:
| ROUTE INFO:
| Take a marked vehicle to the nearby train station in the town of Hønefoss and then take a train to the town of Voss (200 miles away). Then take ANOTHER marked vehicle to a marked bridge 5 miles away to find your next clue.
Adam shouts that they should all leave together so they can get FAR ahead of Team 2...which are STILL struggling with the whole "stroke-stroke" deal. When they finally DO arrive, they get their clues and take off...except for Freddy & Kendra, who have DROPPED their clue. It was within twenty feet of them, but they go back and get a spare clue out of the Route Marker box. Meredith is QUITE upset as to how Jonathan made her feel inadequate during the rowing...so, needless to say, there are at LEAST five teams who want Team Dom-Sub out of the Race!
Lena & Kristy arrive at the train station first, Freddy & Kendra in a close second and Meredith & Maria a closer third. Meanwhile, on the road, "Guess what I lost"
is muttered by Adam, angry that Rebecca told him to take his sunglasses off so he could see better while rowing. (Yo, "Shrek", win the Race by shutting your trap and you can buy all the damn sunglasses you WANT!) Rebecca has issues with Adam and tell him about it; she feels she can't continue right now with him. But Adam says, "I don't want you not to love me..." and it seems all is forgiven. They, along with all the other teams, arrive at the station. And - wouldn't you KNOW it - they're all on the same @#$%ing train to...
Nine SUVs haul to the bridge (Maria's having stick problems again), and eighteen tourists run towards the box where they find out just what's so "boss" about Voss:
| DETOUR: Endurance or Accuracy
| ENDURANCE: Roller-ski down a 1 3/4-mile marked course to get your next clue. It's the quickest way to the clue but it's a little dangerous if you've never skiied before.
ACCURACY: Complete three viking games: "Ku" (where you both must knock down pins surrounding a king and THEN the king itself), hatch-throwing (one member must get an ax to stick to the wood target) and archery (the OTHER member must hit the bulls-eye 30 feet away with a bow and arrow). Finish all three games and get the next clue. It's slow... but it's safe.
ENDURANCE: Team Mormon Models, Team Rasslers, Team
Restaurateurs, Team 'Dating' Actors
ACCURACY: Team Who's Da Boss, Team Dom-Sub, Team Shrek, Team Engaged Models, Team Married Grands
Jonathan & Victoria have a hard time with the "Ku" game, but not NEARLY as bad as Gus & Hera...or most of the OTHER teams. Don & Mary Jean, however, are taking it in stride. On the ski run, Lori is having a hard time staying ON her skis...and Bolo is having a hard time not laughing at her misfortunes. Lena & Kristy, however, have an easy go down the slope. Aaron wants to bail because "it's not safe"...and, while LOOKING at them try (and Aaron fall on his tailbone), Kris & Jon decide to split and go to Accuracy instead.
FINALLY, Team Queens arrives at the bridge and decide on Accuracy... which, thankfully, everyone seems to be having a tough time with. But it's Gus & Hera who knock the last pin AND the king down in one throw to take the lead. Kris & Jon finish shortly afterwards. Hera and Kris take to axe throwing...and Hera gets it in the stump on the second try! As Jonathan & Victoria go into third, Adam & Victoria decide to go to Endurance instead. Kris gets the hatchet in on the FIRST shot and they move on to the archery. And Gus - BEING ex-military - sticks the arrow in the target on the first shot. They have gone from worst to first and now must get to:
| ROUTE INFO - PIT STOP:
| Drive yourself to the next PIT STOP: Nesheimstunett (1000-year-old traditional
Norwegian farm 15 miles away). WARNING: the last team to check-in may be ELIMINATED!
No need to tell THEM to boogie! They're off and running as Jon sticks the arrow himself to go into second place. But Gus stops for directions, allowing Team
Restaurateurs to pull ahead.
Meanwhile, Aaron is NOT having a good time in the LEAST. And Hayden is apologizing all the way down the course. Over at the Ku course, Don & Mary Jean and Freddy & Kendra finally dethrone the king, with Don and Freddy the ax-ers. Johnathan gets the ax in for Team Dom-Sub, leaving Victoria to try to hit the archery target. Freddy gets HIS ax in while Don collects his own to try again. Don finally finishes HIS task...while the ladies have SERIOUS problems with the bow-and-arrow. Mary Jean is nervous because she FLUNKED this elective in college... and she is PISSED again!
Team Dom-Sub gets the arrow in third and gets going...just as Lena & Kristy finish the wet roller-skiing course in fourth. Team Rasslers and Team Engaged Models likewise finish the course and get moving towards...
PIT STOP - NESHEIMSTUNETT, NORWAY
In the pastures of the ancient farm run two soaked bodies towards the PIT STOP mat, where Phil Keoghan and a Norse
shepherdess. Upon four feet hitting the mat, Phil says those magic words: "Kris & Jon,... you are Team Number One!" And they get a seven-night Royal Caribbean cruise of Alaska because of this!
Back at the archery
range, Mary Jean DOES stick it and leave in seventh place. As the skies clear up, she and Don get their clue and jog towards their vehicle. As Meredith & Maria FINALLY knock the final pin down, Jonathan & Victoria find out they're right behind Gus & Hera. The two teams arrive at the same time...and Team Dom-Sub charges ahead as Gus gets his bulk out of the SUV. As such, Jonathan & Victoria are #2 and Team Who's Da Boss are #3.
A lucky shot by Kendra puts Team Engaged Models into eighth. Meanwhile, Lena & Kristy have made a wrong turn and are falling further behind! Team Queens gets the king down at last and Meredith gets the ax in (barely)... as Adam & Rebecca push down the course. It's a race for last between three teams!
As Team Shrek get into their SUV, they find one little thing wrong with it: it's not their SUV! Team Married Grands took their SUV by mistake. But, since they don't KNOW that, they have to look around the other marked vehicles to find theirs. As they struggle, Don & Mary Jean do the only thing then can: bring Adam & Rebecca's car back. They trade cars off and head for the farm.
As Maria has trouble with the archery and Lori & Bolo get directions, Hayden & Aaron arrive as Team #4, followed closely by Team Rasslers as #5. And Team Mormon Models find out they are WAY off course.
"Freddy & Kendra, you're the sixth team to arrive," says Phil to a happy Team Engaged Models. "However,..." (oh, $#!+) "...the Rules of the Race have been broken." Because they took an extra clue back at the Viking village, they are penalized 30 minutes. If the last team to arrive makes it here in a half-hour,... they're screwed.
Mary Jean apologizes tearfully to Don as they drive towards the PIT STOP, where Adam & Rebecca arrive as the OFFICIAL Team #6. Just under 22 minutes to go in the penalty. Team Married Grands become Team #7 with 13 minutes to go.
But all is not lost for Freddy & Kendra, since Team Queens have only NOW finished their Accuracy task, the last one to leave the DETOUR. They and the susters have to reach the pasture in under 13 minutes to force Team Engaged Parents into last,
so there's still a good chance!
And, as it is, the half-hour expires. Freddy & Kendra are OFFICIALLY checked in as Team #8.
Well, #9 is...Lena & Kristy! Which means that Phil has some bad news for Team Queens: they're the last team to arrive. And, because of that, NYC is no longer represented in this Race. Their friendship is much stronger, though... and I get the suspicion that Meredith & Maria will BOTH take manual transmission driving courses when they get home.