Making His Mark
Not like the guy needs the attention, but I'm going to
spend this episode of OTB by laying out my thoughts on
the two shows Mark Burnett has on the air right now. And
if you don't know what they are, you really have no
business being here, do you?
Last time out, I was carrying on about how the S.S.
Apprentice had sailed. The show is uninteresting, and
even the boardroom bits have gotten lame.
Oh, how wrong I was.
It's probably not enough to save the show in my book (I
hear Donald spends 20 to 30 hours a week on the show,
and even though it's making him some coin, he's got
other fish in the deep fryer.)
First off, we strap on the reorg boots as the teams
shuffle off their three most likely to end up in the
Fired Cab. I don't like the whole trading of partners
thing, but this group sucks like a Hoover, so it don't
matter a whole lot.
In case you forgot, Excel did anything but, as they
caused a net loss of 37% to the sports section at Dick's
Sporting Goods. Even Richard Simmons couldn't suck that
badly. (Please don't write...) So something had to be
done. I didn't think it was going to be that drastic.
The look on those clowns' faces when Mr. Trump intoned,
"You're all fired. Go home," was fantastic. They've
probably used up all of the planned double elimination
episodes for the whole season, but that's OK. It was
very worth it. The shoving of all four of the losers
into the Fired Cab was a great moment as well.
Even if the show is doomed, we got one last gasp of
excitement and water cooler conversation out of it.
So, that's one down, and it leaves us with Survivor.
There must be an idea factory somewhere that has Mark
Burnett paying a bunch of starving waiters $5 an hour to
come up with twists and tweaks. All this while Mark
stands over the group barking orders and cracking a
whip. That's the only way it could be. From the piracy
theme of Pearl Islands, to the swim for immunity in the
first episode of Palau...no single person can have that
many good ideas go perfectly every time.
This year is no exception. I wonder if the "expect the
unexpected" bit should be stenciled on the Survivor
buffs from now on. This year kicked off with that
hellacious (T-Note: I do not believe that my
spellchecker let 'hellacious' go...) 11-mile long hike
to claim the Mayan ruins as a camp, and it got more fun
than that. More fun! Can you believe it! Uncle Mark
gives us a return trip to the Double Elimination thing a
couple of weeks ago, and then the hidden immunity idol
that made the Guatemalan jungle look like an episode of
"Finders Keepers" (Second T-Note: Catch that while you
can, Nick GAS goes away soon). If THAT weren't enough,
we get a great twist, the players must choose between
the immunity challenge, or the merge feast. A truly
delicious dilemma. Even if Jeff isn't around to read the
votes and do that weird thing with his hands to start
the challenges, someone will be there to lay out the
twists and turns, and I'll be there to watch. Surely
Mark Burnett has more up his sleeve. If he does, he
would be well-advised to use them on Survivor, and let
the Apprentice ride off into the sunset.
Travis Eberle would like to see Colby Donaldson don
the Survivor chapeau. VOTE NOW! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! at
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