Game Show NewsNet

April 30, 2005

Gordon: We'll see which part of that aspect she doesn't like this Summer. Meanwhile, we bring back a VERY old game...from episode #7...called 'Resolutions'.
Chico: It's the end of the TV year, isn't it?
Gordon: You got it.
Jason: Ok...
Gordon: I'll give you a person, place, thing, etc. - You come up with the resolution they should do for next season. For example, if it was Bo Bice, what would a resolution be?
Jason: Don't get caught!
Chico: ... Damn! Stole mine! Uh... Don't get high on your own supply.
Gordon: Good resolution, as the Smoking Gun did just that to him, as we find that he was caught with paraphernalia for....let's say Mary Jane brownies.
Chico: "These brownies... are delicious."
Gordon: Don't Eat the evidence!
Chico: Cue animated sequence (if you actually sat through all of Reefer Madness, you'll get it.)
Jason: We got the idea though :)
Gordon: OK - this is the NETWORK edition of Resolutions.
Jason: OK..
Gordon Here we go...

#1. ABC, who has yet to give us a good original reality show (The Mole, which was an import, doesn't count)

Chico: Get on all fours and beg for Regis.
Jason: Don't do them. Stay with the good dramas and make more of them.
Chico: Cut off all ties with Mike Fleiss.
Gordon: ABC - Resolved to hopefully have a hit in the Summer with the Scholar, as I don't want to know the ratings for the dancing show.

#2 - FOX, who has a huge hit with American Idol, but who is taking a hit because of the controversy - and the ABC special can't be a good thing for them.

Chico: Concentrate on quality product. It's got you where you are right now.
Jason: Ignore the enemies and do what you do best. AI is your biggest reality cash cow.
Chico: But if worst comes to worst, remember the words of NWA: any publicity is good publicity.
Gordon: So Resolved - Just keep doing what you've been doing, and as long as you don't get in an ethnicity scandal (or have reports of Paula sleeping with Michael Jackson), you are ok.

#3 - NBC -What you have on (Apprentice, Biggest Loser), is actually good stuff, but you have nothing supporting it, as Joey...well...sucks. How can you get stuff to help your game shows?

Chico: Well, they can a) try not stealing from other source material.
Jason: See: The Office and Coupling...ugh.
Chico: The Office was actually decent...and b) remember that Law and Order won't work all the time.
Gordon: So Resolved - the NBC actually have an original braincell in it's head and to get more NFL.
Jason: Yup.
Chico: *applause*

#4 - CBS. We love CBS. Survivor. Amazing Race. Big Bro...ok, we almost love CBS. But they do a lot of good reality games that work. How can they have a blockbuster Summer?

Jason: They are the reality kings right now.
Chico: Stick with what works.
Jason: Stay with what brung ya.
Chico: Resolved: If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Gordon: Sounds good.

#5 - UPN Tyra Banks - Good. Missy Elliott - Bad. Boston Rob as the Player Operator - REAL Bad. They like star driven Reality shows, Who and what profession should they try to go after?

Chico: What about hiphop mogul?
Jason: Damon Dash. He is the CEO of Roc-a-fella Records.
Gordon: BET has Damon Dash for their own 'Apprentice -Style' show.
Chico: Oh yeah...
Jason: Darn.
Gordon: Anything else?
Chico: Well, they're under the same umbrella, so why not repurpose? But if anything, they should avoid "player". That one was done already... and not that well... Sure Boston Rob was a weird twist, but overall, forget it.
Gordon: Resolved to UPN - Uhhh....we're working on it. We'll get back to you.

#6 - WB - Well, you have...tanked. The WB needs something... anything. Any suggestions?

Chico: Quit.
Jason: Go home. You can't do reality/game shows.
Chico: If your best game was Studio 7, then... that says something.
Gordon: Resolved for WB - You're beyond help. Go into kiddie drama, since that seems to be the only thing you can do.

Finally - it's the shout-out segment. Call out any other network and give them a suggestion.

Chico: USA: Be careful what you wish for... you just might get it (per this season of Nashville Star).
Gordon: Resolved for SPIKE - to actually give us a real UFC series to go with the Ultimate Fighter. Jason?
Jason: Resolved to A&E and E--give us less of what we don't want (Gastineau and Gotti) and more of what we do (Wayne Newton).
Gordon: Enough said. Let's break and then head on to THE BIG FINISH.
Chico: Break! We'll be back...

(Brought to you by Celebrity Strip Poker. We've had Strip Poker. We've had Celebrity Poker. When do we get to see Traci Bingham take off her clothes??? HUH?????)

Chico: Every day of your life, Gordon...
Joe: Good morning, all hands.
Gordon: And playing the role of Jason Hernandez this week is Joe Van Ginkel.
Joe: Indeed. This week I'm Joey Come Lately.
Chico: At least you're not Joey Come Dancing.
Joe: In that case, I'd be Bruce Forsyth. "Nice to see you. To see you..."
Chico: NICE!
Joe: Couldn't resist.
Chico: We know... we're so much better than the crowd you had last week. Okay, fun time aside, it's time ... for... the BIG FINISH!
Joe: Let's do it.
Jason: Let's do it.
Chico: First up, Joe... ear muffs...
Joe: O_O
Chico: Trust me...
Joe: What do I need ear muffs for? Gordon's gonna try to sing?
Gordon: You'll be hearing me sing at GSC4 - Watch it.
Chico: The S word will come up.
Joe: Oh. As in "teh suck."
Chico: Right. Anyway, who's out on Survivor next?
Gordon: I think someone on Greggifer - Gregg probably. Will Scott Savol finally leave American Idol or will there be mass chaos and anarchy?
Jason: Scott is gone.
Joe: Yep. Toast.
Gordon: And the crowd goes mild. Yay.
Jason: Unless we have a Constantine like flame-out.
Chico: Nope. Anthony and Vonzell are in the catbird, leaving Carrie (finally!), Bo, and Scott in the bottom. Scott's time runs out. There is much rejoicing.
Jason: Anthony is in the catbird's seat? What are you smoking?
Chico: Wee...
Joe: lol.
Chico: He's growing, but still in trouble. Fans will respond in kind.
Everyone will think Carrie and Bo are safe. Scott will f(^_^) up as usual.
Gordon: But this is where the chaos theory wanes. The week after a favorite gets knocked off, the audience takes nothing for granted. Unless someone flames out, Scott is history. This weekend on GSN - Card Shark's hosted by...BIll Rafferty. SHould this really be considered a classic?
Jason: No.
Chico: Card Sharks? Yes. Bill Rafferty... Sorry, man.
Joe: Why? Because it was only one year?
Chico: But then again, what is classic? Aside from Jim or Bob.
Gordon: Concentration =)
Chico: Very funny.
Joe: I dig Rafferty. He's not Perry or Eubanks by any stretch, but he's still damn good.
Gordon: He is - he should never have given up after losing two shows.
Joe: Totally underrated.
Chico: I like him too... but you said it yourself...Three shows. Remember Every Second Counts?
Joe: Yeah.
Gordon: well, the two straight shows with Blockbusters and Card Sharks right next to each other.
Chico: Granted. Amazing Race... is this where Ron & Kelly bite it?
Jason: No. I am predicting Rob and Amber
Gordon: I think the hourglass for Meredith and Gretchen has run out. Sorry.
Joe: Wow. Everyone has different losers this week.
Chico: Freaky. Okay, Joe... You're on.
Joe: MAIL TIME!
Chico: Yes.
Joe: ROFL
Gordon: Let's hear it.
Chico: First up, from Christopher Reynolds... Thanks for writing, Chris!

I remember the absolute lowest sweep total was $7! Yes, seven dollars. I hope someone can confirm this with tape, but I saw a guy with the minimum 1:30 run around for the bonuses like a kid in a candy store, didn't get any of the big inflatables, and eventually there were 10 seconds left so he grabbed a few cans of stuff that totaled $7. I think this may have been one where the TV monitor clues were used and he couldn't figure it out.

Joe: Ouch. Horrors.
Jason: Tragedy
Chico: Cans were cheap back then.
Gordon: Did he at least get to take the $7 of groceries home?
Chico: Heh. I doubt that they would want to keep it. After all, most of the food on SS was past expiry date.
Joe: lol
Chico: But it's good that someone caught onto that. I think that would have had to be early in the run :)
Gordon: I love the dedicated fans, don't you?
Jason: Thanks Chris for helping us out!
Gordon: I got more mail.
Jason: MAIL THIS!
Gordon: This one from Adam Scimone.
Joe: MORE MAIL!

A while ago, I read that we would be able to see reruns of Remote Control on VH1 Classic. I suspect, however, that it might not happen. How come?

Jason: That I would love to see, Adam
Joe: So would I.
Gordon: We did talk about Remote Control being advertised on VH1 Classic - do we have an update on that?
Chico: Me too... I doubt this will happen. At least since last weekend, they switched back from an MTV/VH1 old school block back to their regular programming.
Joe: Remote Control is one of the few shows that have aired on MTV that has been truly good.
Joe: Awwwwwwww.
Joe: Boooooooo
Chico: They gave us popcorn and took away our butter. For shame VH1 Classic.
Jason: Boo-urns indeed.
Gordon: If you do want to see Remote Control, go to the MTV or VH1 Websites and e-mail them to let them know.
Joe: Good idea.
Chico: Very good.
Jason: Absolutely.
Chico: Got another one for you...
Jason: MORE MAIL!
Chico: This one's from Anna Morfit. Thanks for writing Anna!

Hello, I was on the children's game show finders keepers in 1988 and I am trying to locate a copy of the show's tape. Any idea how I could get one?

Jason: WOW!
Gordon: It's a ...Klauss Mail!
Jason: Yup.
Joe: We get one of these every week.
Chico: I was about to say!
Jason: KLAUSS TIME!
Joe: Isn't FK still airing (albeit temporarily at the moment) on Nick GAS?
Chico: Yes it is. It's always been airing. So we have TWO answers...1) You can post a bulletin over at http://members2.boardhost.com/gameshowtrading/ or 2) If you have Nick GAS on your digital cable or satellite system, you can catch the reruns... apparently while you can.
Joe: Rumor has it that GAS may stop showing the old Nick game shows.
Chico: Where'd you hear this, Joe?
Joe: I forget, actually. I believe Ben Ziek told me.
Gordon: OK I have one final letter.
Joe/Jason: LAST ONE!
Joe: ROFL.
Jason: I just see myself as an ugly talking mailbox.
Chico: Oh Jason... There's nothing ugly-takling about you =p
Gordon: This one comes from John Lee. Isn't it fun to know people are reading this?
Jason: Very much so.

So, why did Janu get her final words aired on Survivor last week, even though she laid down her torch; and back on Survivor: Pearl Islands, Osten did NOT get his aired, even though he laid down his torch?

Jason: Great question.
Joe: Indeed.
Chico: Well, per the rules, she is on the jury, and she didn't go home.
Gordon: Great question, and the answer is, in my opinion, that she shouldn't have.
Chico: My take... another great manipulation from the Burnett.
Gordon: We also didn't see Susan Hawk's last words when she quit All-Stars either.
Chico: Did we see Jenna's when she quit?
Gordon: Nope - we had the stars talking about how she would be missed
Joe: Interesting...
Chico: And for Susan and Osten... nothing.
Jason: It was a bad decision.
Chico: See? Burnett manipulation. You never can tell what's going on in his head.
Jason: And also what were the positions of the people who quit? Was she high enough that it warranted words?
Gordon: Janu was the only quitter who's position would put her on the jury.
Jason: That could be the reason.
Chico: And again, she didn't go home.
Joe: Weird.
Gordon: True, but I don't like the lack of consistency. Either air them all, or don't air them
Jason: I agree.
Chico: Since when has Survivor been consistent with ANYTHING?
Gordon: It's consistently high in the ratings
Joe: I said it once, I'll say it again...
Jason: DON'T DO IT!
Chico: STOP.
Joe: Survivor = teh suck.
Jason: Darn, he did it!
Gordon: (Pushes Mute Button on Joe)
Chico: He didn't stop.
Joe: You can't stop me! I am INVEENCI(MUTE)
Chico: Well, that's all the mail we have this week, but that doesn't mean we don't like getting any more! Drop us a line at WLTI@gameshownewsnet.com to get in on this game.
Joe: .....
Gordon: We love mail!
Jason: John, great question to end the week!
Joe: ..... (gadzooks, I just turned into Alan Cumming for a second.)
Chico: Remember, we do this show for you, and we can't do this without you. We so love our readers...
Gordon: You bet.
Jason: Absolutely.
Joe: WHOO READERS!
Chico: But alas.. we must part for another week.
Jason: May Sweeps...starts and we have AI losers on FF.
Chico: Yay sweeps!
Joe: RUN AWAY!
Jason: And by the end of this month...the best of all time--maybe on J!
Joe: WHOO! JEOPARDY TITLE FIGHT!
Chico: For $2 million and the title of Best Jeopardy Player... Period.
Jason: Will it be as good as Griffin Vs. Bonnar on UFC? :)
Joe: Very possibly. We'll see when it comes around.
Chico: Yeah. We have to watch all that. Okay, time to close shop. For Gordon Pepper, Joe Van Ginkel, Jason Block, James Dinan, and everyone here at Game Show Newsnet, I'm Chico Alexander and until next time... What do we always say?
Gordon: Lets Mute Joe!
Jason: GAME OVA!
Joe: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME OVEEEEEEEEEEEER!
Chico: Match Game, y'all :)
Gordon: Match Game...Aand Out!
Joe: And spread the love.