Episode 22.15
December 21

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and there's a good chance that when you're reading this, you're going to be covered in a mountain of snow.
Chico: *plays "White Christmas" on the piano.*
Gordon: And no, I'm not talking Millionaire confetti.
Chico: That's green, dude.
Gordon: Though driving in green snow could be interesting.
Chico: This isn't just any snow... This is some sort of crazy money snow!
Gordon: Which is good, because we've had one of those crazy weeks.
Chico: And we're going to go over all of it, because from Somewhere in America, the Money, Power, and Respect edition of WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: How's everyone doing? I'm Chico Alexander. We've got a lot to cover, including part 9 of 10 Years in 2 Months, where Gordon's going to play Jewish Santa Claus.
Gordon: Oy Oy Oy
Chico: Heh. That comes later, though. First up, we've never had a game show for ninja.
Gordon: We do now. We start this week with respect, which is what you get if you finish an obstacle course in under 90 seconds.
Chico: The game is American Ninja Warrior. It's not G4's first game show, but it is G4's first game show that's actually interesting to watch (For the record, we're not including its imports with that count, which include Ninja Warrior, Starcade, Hi-Score, and Unbeatable Banzuke). But American Ninja Warrior... perhaps some history is in order. For the last four years, G4 has been fielding its own qualifier for the Sasuke course, sending one, two, sometimes three people through to Japan. This year, the field expands to 10 AND the challenge expands to a series. And it's everything you expect it to be. Cut the crap, let's just get to the course. Speaking of, here it is...The Sextuple Step, the Barrel Roll, the Jumping Spider, the Pipe Slider, the Warped Wall, the Tarzan Swing, the Jumping Bars, and the Cargo Climb. All of these are familiar to those who like to watch the exploits on Mt. Midoriyama. And speaking of, that's the prize for the 10 people who complete the three stages of the course in the fastest time.
Gordon: So that's the course. Here's the analysis, starting with...The Good. If you're a Ninja Warrior fan, you'll be very satisfied with the show.
Chico: Hai. The history of Sasuke is a storied one and I can say without doubt this is a good addition to the legacy.
Gordon: It brings everything to the table that the Japanese version does.
Chico: It both pays umbrage to the original while bringing it to American tastes.
Gordon: If anything, this also adds some originality to it, with the emphasis on the clock.
Chico: Yep. An added dimension. The original series gives you the course. All you have to do is finish it. This being an American qualifier for the next Sasuke, you also have to be fast. It's not just a matter of showing up in a green-man costume or a Super Nerd costume. You have to have the physical chops to back it up.
Gordon: True. And we see the people who do - and who don't, in spectacular fashion.
Chico: Even though greater attention is paid on those that do. We've already seen some veterans of Sasuke (Brett Sims chief amongst them) get thrown by the wayside.
Gordon: Which is nice to see.
Chico: Good to see you're pleased, because it's time for the bad.
Gordon: The Bad: if you don't like Sasuke, there's nothing here that will make you change your mind.
Chico: Nope. And the hosting team doesn't help either. Nothing against Blair Herter and Allison Haislip, but could you have gotten someone who's not as caricaturish? I mean, talk about mailing it in.
Gordon: No. It's not as good or as tight as it should be. By the time episode 3 shows up, you're pining for John Henson to show up.
Chico: Also no variety.
Gordon: This is a competition. It needs to be taken seriously.
Chico: Unless the players themselves aren't serious.
Gordon: Yes, but as you just said, you need the announcers to be serious, and not caricatures.
Chico: But perhaps the biggest problem I have; last week was the premiere and three additional episodes. This week... three more episodes and the finale. Now the original Sasuke airs over three outs twice a year. We're probably nitpicking here, but if this is presented as a series, albeit a limited one, I'd like to see it scheduled as such. After all, a man much wiser than I once said that you should understay, not overstay your welcome.
Gordon: Very true, sir. and this is a show that you could - and should - have one episode a week, instead of 8 in 2 weeks. I mean you put Hurl on once a week, and it blew chunks. Why not milk this series out?
Chico: And this show is vastly better than Hurl!. Hell, running into a wall head first is better than Hurl!.
Gordon: And you've done that before. A number of times.
Chico: Yep. But even for its shortcomings, it's a welcome show and one I think was a long time coming.

	AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR - G4
	GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	B+	A-	B+

Gordon: This is a fun show. If you are a Ninja Warrior fan, you'll be more than happy to add this to your collection. B+.
Chico: I know I am. A-. I'm also a fan of a cappella...And I know you're a fan of music in general. In fact, I did the math and the research, and between the two of us... over 40 years of musical expertise.
Gordon: Scary stuff.
Chico: That's probably why we've been looking forward to the Sing-Off. If you've watched it over this week and you thought, hey, that looks familiar...It should. The same guy who did MTV's Top Pop Group and ABDC did this.
Gordon: Well Chico has been. As you've been telling by the past few weeks, I've been more in a 'meh' mood about it, scarred by the bad group sing shows of Winter's past. And Top Pop Group...did not make me happy.
Chico: No. It didn't make anyone happy. Did this make you happy?
Gordon: Well, it made me happier. Shall we proceed?
Chico: We shall. Let's go over the good, starting with the groups. They ran the gamut of a cappella, from barbershop to college. Each one brought their own flavor to the party.
Gordon: Unlike Top Pop Group, the talent here (for 7 of the 8 groups) is incredibly strong. My favorite is Nota. Beelzebubs are a strong second, but I think the Beelzebubs will win it.
Chico: I also think the Bubs will win it.
Gordon: But 7 of the 8 groups deserved to be there.
Chico: The one that didn't? I'm guessing Face.
Gordon: Actually, no. That would be Solo, as we get into the BAD portion of the review.
Chico: Oh yeah. I was trying to forget that. Apparently I succeeded.
Gordon: If you have only 8 groups, why are you bringing in a group that's only been together for 13 weeks in a Genre (Hip Hop Urban) that would have much more, talented groups available to be selected?
Chico: Oh yeah. I know a few people who would be throwing objects at the TV right about now. Then there's the matter of the judges, two of which are just there to pad time.
Gordon: I don't need a sob story behind every group. I don't even think they should be in play. It should be the best group that wins, not the person with the best 'inspirational stoyrline'. This isn't Sing-Off Queen for a Day.
Chico: Which is a shame, really, because you have names like the Pussycat Dolls and Boyz II Men. Those are well established groups within this medium and they should have a thing or two of great import to impart. Instead we get Randy Jackson and Kara dioGuardi lite.
Gordon: Here's the problem I have with all 3 judges. Nicole Scherzinger does nothing. Shawn Stockman does nothing. Ben Folds can't translate his comments into group speak, meaning that he needs to translate what he means that an audience that doesn't study the musical form can understand, and I don't think he does a good job doing so.
Chico: Now you and I... because of 40 years of combined musical prowess... we know what Ben is saying, but let's say you're tone deaf. You would have no idea. Ben's basically too busy judging to remember that he's on TV.
Gordon: Right. That's why Simon Cowell gets the big bucks. You may not be able to understand too sharp or too flat. But if you hear 'this sound like something you'd see at a Karaoke party', you'd understand what he's saying because you have a frame of reference on it.
Chico: And how many karaoke parties have you been to?
Gordon: Enough to know the similarities. And also enough to know that Nick Lachey needs to host a few more before hosting another show.
Chico: Oh yeah. They got the wrong Lachey brother hosting. Just thought I'd put that out there. Anyways, it's a cute show that's leaps and bounds over anything that tried to make a pop group out of a reality show before. The talent really drives the series, and it's great that a cappella is out there. Will we remember it six months down the line? No. Overall, it works theoretically, and NBC would probably do well to make this an annual event, but other than that... it really has no staying power.

	THE SING-OFF - NBC
	GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C	C+	C

Gordon: I could see this as an annual event. The talent is there. And the talent saves the show from all of the other things wrong with it. C.
Chico: Agreed. C+. It almost makes me want to call Eric up and say "Hey,... the Sing-Off's been renewed. How do you feel about getting the band back together?"
Gordon: And here's another question. How do you feel about going to 4 celebrities and begging for money?
Chico: It's almost... horrid, actually. I mean, five businessmen, yes, but four celebrities? This does nothing for the stereotype that says celebrities are better than the rest of us.
Gordon: Times are tough.
Chico: This is true. That's why E! has given us the Bank of Hollywood. Based upon a British series, regular folk like us go into the Bank and ask for money from four Power Panelists.
Gordon: Easy enough premise. Go to 4 celebrities. Ask for money. 3 Yes's means you get it. 3 no's mean you don't.
Chico: Simple.
Gordon: So let's see The Good: The celebrities are treated as humans. They each have a distinctive personality, but there's no stereotypes. It's not like 'the person who says yes', 'the person who says no', etc.
Chico: Also, the contestants are actually real people... which means you can either like them or hate them.
Gordon: Yes. They were a nice mix of people. Surprisingly, I thought the contestant coordinators did a better job on this show than The Sing Off.
Chico: You really wanted to like the guy who wanted a swimming pool for hydrotherapy. You really wanted to not like the guy who wanted to go on to become Miss Gay US of A at Large.
Gordon: Actually I thought the Miss Gay U S of A large was a good story. His flaw was he didn't itemize what the money would be used for.
Chico: That's why I didn't like him. If you're going to go to the Man's house, you have to play the Man's game. You know you're going on a game show where you have to answer for your request down to a tee.
Gordon: True. One thing I didn't like as we dwell into the bad, is that the money total is All or Nothing. You can't negotiate the funds.
Chico: Which is kinda screwed up, really. I mean, on Shark Tank, you could at least talk them down depending on the situation. That made things more interesting.
Gordon: Right. So that I wasn't a fan of. I also didn't like the host, who was just there.
Chico: I think he was trying not to be a part of the negotiations. He was just a conduit.
Gordon: Maybe, but he didn't add anything to it either.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: I think if you need a host there, he needs to ask the questions, to and be the Barbara Walters type, asking the probing questions.
Chico: That you think would be the panel's job.
Gordon: But I mean more for conduiting with the audience. Something like what Graham Norton did.
Chico: Ah, right.

	BANK OF HOLLYWOOD - E!
	GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C	C	C

Gordon: So it's grade time. It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. That being said, it does have a lot of work that needs to be done to make it an E! staple. C.
Chico: That's about right. I mean, it has personality, but at the same time, it has untapped potential. C. We'll see how it goes for all three shows into the new year. We'll be watching intently. We're also going to be watching intently the finale of Survivor this Sunday.



Chico: As you know, we record on a Saturday before Sunday night happenings happen, so we'll be chatting about it now. Russell leaves his immunity necklace lifeline on the table (not that he needs it). Brett knew he was a target, and he fought like hell to stay... and it worked. So you have to get rid of somebody, right?
Gordon: True. And the somebody, for everyone who isn't a Galu, must be Shambo. If I'm Foa Foa, no one from Galu must make the finals.
Chico: Destroy your enemy completely. That's page 1 of the Art of War right there.
Gordon: Not only that, but your jury will be 7 Galu. If any of their own get to the finals, they win.,
Chico: That said. It's time to break down the final five.
Gordon: So...Big Board please?

Gordon: The subject: Who wins if...
Chico: Let's go over the jury one more time. We have Erik, Kelly, Laura, John, Dave, Monica, and Shambo.
Gordon: 1. if Brett gets to the end, he wins.
Chico: Because the jury is stacked to his favor.
Gordon: All of which are Galu.
Chico: That just leaves the Foa Foa four.
Gordon: 2. If Russell gets to the finals and Brett doesn't, he wins.
Chico: Yep. The other three... it's a tossup, because none of them made any moves that signified an endgame strategy.
Gordon: I disagree,
Chico: You think so?
Gordon: 3. If both Brett and Russell get knocked out, Jaison wins.
Chico: I'd have to attribute that to it just happening. I mean, Jaison and Mick, those two are your physical gamers.
Gordon: Jaison has been planting the seeds that he has been the mastermind (even though he hasn't). Jaison has been playing a very good end game, and he knows he needs to knock out Russell.
Chico: I think knocking out Russell's going to be easier done than said. Even if it's by a jury vote. There's no way that Russell's going to win, especially after he had that Immunity Idol around his neck.
Gordon: I absolutely think Russell can win and has the votes to do so. this does not seem like a group that will vote on emotion. They seem that they will vote for the best player, and Russell has been, far and away, the best player this season
Chico: Yeah, he just has to get that far, and I don't see it happening.
Gordon: If the remaining people are smart, it won't happen.
Chico: He's a great gamer. He's a great player. He needs to find out how to be a great winner, though. Now what about Kennedy? Is she a great gamer?
Gordon: I would hope so :)
Chico: Let's go back a bit. Seven years ago, GSN had a show called Friend or Foe. It was part of the Great GSN renaissance there.
Gordon: Yes it was.
Chico: It was hosted by one Lisa Kennedy Montgomery, who introduced herself as our game show hussy, and then Gordon, because he's Gordon, claimed her as such.
Gordon: I did. And she was my Game Show Hussy for 7 years. And it was good.
Chico: Fastforward to this week, and she's an expert on Millionaire
Gordon: Which is also good. Good for her.
Chico: You'd LIKE to think that. I have a few questions for you...

[$15,000] (Up in the Sky)
What celestial object was named in 1930, by an eleven-year-old girl named Venetia Burney?
A: Venus
B: Saturn
C: Pluto
D: Mercury

Gordon: Well its in 1930, so that would have to be when a later planet come out. I'd say Pluto.
Chico: Kennedy says A, because of the name similarities, and that C was named by someone else.
Gordon: Who named it? Roy Disney?
Chico: Note to Kennedy...The dog was named for the planet, not the other way around. And as for Roy Disney, who passed on this week... we're sorry for that joke.

(Silence)

Chico: Thank you. Next question....

[$25,000] (Miss Universe)
Stefania Fernandez, who was crowned Miss Universe in 2009, is the beauty pageant's second straight winner from what country?
A: Spain
B: Brazil
C: Argentina
D: Venezuela

Gordon: I belive it's Venezuela
Chico: So did Kennedy. You're both right. So far, 1-1. Next...

[$25,000] (Astronomy)
In astronomy, which of these celestial sights would be considered an "asterism"?
A: Halley's Comet
B: The Moon
C: The Big Dipper
D: Neptune

Gordon: An Asterism is a cluster of stars. So that has to be The big Dipper.
Chico: Correct Kennedy said... A.
Gordon: Oops
Chico: Next one...

[$10,000] (CELEBRITY Q) - asked by Susan Lucci
Since January 5, 1970, "All My Children" has chronicled the tumultuous days and nights of what fictional place?
A: Wisteria Lane
B: Pine Valley
C: Port Charles
D: Stars Hollow

Chico: Kennedy apparently has a lot of time to watch her stories, because she nails this one.
Gordon: She probably does. I haven't seen her in anything lately.
Chico: I know this one because I remember the SNL sketch.
Gordon: That's Pine Valley.
Chico: That IS Pine Valley
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: Going off course a little. Not an Expert question...BUT... for $5000...
Gordon: Uh oh.
Chico: You know where this is going.
Gordon: I do (prepares the skunk bed)

[$5,000] (Famous Daughters)
In 2009, NBC's "Today" show hired as a new correspondent Jenna Hager, the now-married daughter of whom?
A: Al Gore
B: John McCain
C: Bill Clinton
D: George W. Bush

Gordon: If I remember correctly, Jenna was the first name of a Bush. And no, not a Hanukkah bush, so the answer is D.
Chico: He says he watches the Today show, then in a panic says.... B. final answer.
Gordon: Jenna McCain? um...no.
Chico: A skunk for the contestant. Now for the final Kennedy question...

[$7,500] (Shakira)
In 2009, a hit single by Shakira had a Spanish version titled "Loba" and an English version titled what?
A: She Devil
B: She Cat
C: She Wolf
D: She Dragon

Chico: I know this because they're both in my iPod. And I'm Spanish.
Gordon: Well Lobo means wolf (since I did study Spanish), so I'm thinking it's C.
Chico: Kennedy says C, because "wolf" in Italian is Lupo, and it's similar.
Gordon: That works.
Chico: So your game show hussy is 3 for 5. That's gotta count for something
Gordon: That's a .600 record. I like it. She can stay my game show hussy :)
Chico: There you go.
Gordon: However if you want an almost .400 record, then you can go see what happened this week on The Price is Right.
Chico: What happened on Price this week made me sad. Some post-game stats. This week's record was 10-19-1, with a bailout on It's in the Bag. And over the course of the week we had a double overbid AND someone not so much winning a digital baby grand as it was just handed to him on a silver plate. And to top it all off, Thursday's show saw a season-low $15,110 go out the door. Were it not for one win, the amount would be LESS THAN $10,000.
Gordon: Thaaaaat's not too good.
Chico: Get me a Big Bored, sir.

Chico: We're calling this one "One Short of a Washout Part 2." First up, 5 Price Tags, with two of them out of order. That was bad juju right there. Even worse, with three picks: he couldn't eliminate the 0s and 5s first. If you're playing for a foreign car, go for 0 and 5 first. More often than not, you're going to be right.
Gordon: You should always go for the 0 and 5. It's a hard enough game. Usually they won't trick you with the tags.
Chico: The Kia Soul+ was $16,595. Also, pay attention to the brand. Kias are cheap. They're efficient, but cheap.
Gordon: Yep. next one?
Chico: Next is a trip to Buenos Aires in Squeeze Play: 81341. This looks like random chance to me.
Gordon: Well you need to keep the other 1 in there. The 3 needs to go.
Chico: Bingo. Send me a postcard :-) Next up, Danger Price. Drink machine, cooler, stemware, and bar set. The Danger Price: $700. Strategy says if the Danger Price is low, go high.
Chico: That would be the bar set.
Gordon: Right. It would NOT be the Drink machine
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: Kimberly goes with...the Drink Machine. Cost: $700. LOSS
Chico: Pamela Ford gets the sole W of the day with Pushover for a hot tub

5 9 6 7 1 9 4 8 3

Gordon: Sorry $7,194
Chico: You'd be ... right.
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: We're stacking the Deck next. The deck:

9 8 5 3 2 4 1.

Chico: He gets two of the cards giving him a price of $-8,4--. Now if you ask me, we're playing for an American car with fabric protection, so I'd ask for the last number first.
Gordon: This is just bad play on James first. The first 2 numbers selected should always be the third and 4th.
Chico: He does ask for the third first. But let's say you have all three.
Gordon: If you have all 3, you go 3, 4, 5 You'd see this: $--,429. The 1 means that the first number would be a 1. And the 9 means the second number has to be 8.
Chico: From there, it's a cakewalk.
Gordon: So $18,429.
Chico: But the last game was simply... inexcusable. DirecTV in the Clock Game...
Gordon: You can't mess up The Clock Game.
Chico: Unless you do what our player did.
Gordon: If you guess $720 and Drew says higher, then $730 and he says lower, don't go $740. :P
Chico: And for god's sake... don't bid in cents. And don't say "Dollars" all the time. He was so close to getting this right... it was just... fundamentals, you know?
Gordon: Fun for mentals. But at least we can redeem ourselves with a nice Showcase win, right?
Chico: Right. That didn't happen either.
Gordon: Aw.
Chico: First Showcase: Sony Vaio notebook, power tools, $500 gift cards, and a Ford F150. That's at least... $24,000 right there.
Gordon: I would say so. What's the bid?
Chico: Player bids $26,540. Actual price... $26,327. Woops.
Gordon: And as Drew chastises him, that extra 540 cost him 26 large.
Chico: Second Showcase... kayaks, surfboards, wetsuits, a trip to Costa Rica, and a Gemcar. Bid on it, Gordon.
Gordon: $16,969. Because that showcase really sucks.
Chico: It was $17,925
Gordon: I win. Where's my crappy Gemcar?
Chico: Would you prefer one from the hamsters?
Gordon: The hamsters made one. Hamster rollers for wheels, Shavings for seat cushions, and pellets for fuel.
Chico: I'll tell them to ship it over.
Gordon: So when the Gem Car comes over to roll, I can say Roll that Beautiful Gem Car...and brain Footage.
Chico: BAD JOKE!

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Gordon: Well the Gem Car runs on the same stuff :)P
Chico: Electricity and dreams?
Gordon: I was thinking poo.
Chico: Ah
Gordon: But let's start with a Date Book.

Survivor Finals on Sunday. The Sing Off Finale on Monday. And reruns almost everywhere else except Let's Make a Deal, so watch that. And next week is Christmas week on TPIR, so watch that, too.

Chico: And as for the Sing-Off Finale... They're doing it up big. We've got Smokey Robinson, Natasha Bedingfield, Bobby McFerrin, and Boyz II Men performing. Oh yeah, and the Bubs win over Nota :-) Wut. :-)
Gordon: We'll see if that happens, though I think both of us are calling it.
Chico: I think Nota gets a deal somehow, though.
Gordon: I agree. They are very talented.
Chico: Marking it
Gordon: And I'll mark the holidays with a Hanukkah gift (Gives Chico a bat)
Chico: Nice!
Gordon: I worked hard on the red and green stripes.
Chico: I can tell!

NBC has found its Guy.... literally. Food Network Star winner Guy Fieri has been tapped to host Perfect 10. Now he's hosted Ultimate Recipe Showdown, so we know he has the chops to work a room.

Chico: Can he translate that to network TV, though?
Gordon: I don't know if he can. It will be interesting to watch though
Chico: Probably more interesting... they're pushing the show back to later in the season or perhaps summer.
Gordon: I agree with that. If you put it in the Summer, you have a better chance to nurture the show, and more original programming makes the Summer that much more interesting. However, we had some stuff this week on TV...not so interesting.

Are YOU Smarter than...a number of people this week on Wheel of Fortune's Heroes week.

Gordon: Would you like to play?
Chico: I would LOVE to play
Gordon: This is a thing

H I - H / E F F I C I E N C - / F R O N T - L O A D / - A S H E R

Chico: High efficiency front-load washer.
Gordon: Yes. We have a guess of High efficieNT front-load washer. Which would be right if you ignored the fact that there's a C already in the puzzle and the number of letters in the word is wrong.
Chico: I think that would be... wrong
Gordon: Shall we play again?
Chico: Yes we shall
Gordon: Phrase

- O / - O / - O / A N D / A / - O T T L E / O - / R - M

Chico: Yo ho ho and a Bottle of Rum
Gordon: Yes. We have a guess of HO ho ho and a bottle of rum.
Chico: Drunken Santa's coming to town?
Gordon: We have ho ho hos but thats later on. Another puzzle?
Chico: Yes, please.
Gordon: The category is What are you doing?

- E A - I N G / T - E / W - -

Chico: Leading the Way
Gordon: Very good. We get as a guess...Wearing the Wig.
Chico: Umm... no. a) the I and G are already up there and 2) ... wearing the wig?
Gordon: I think this is more wearing the dunce cap
Chico: Yep
Gordon: So not a good week to be a Wheel of Fortune Solver. Also not a good week to be a Dance Judge as we get into Haterade.
Chico: Oh dear.

America's best Dance Crew judge and So You Think You Can Dance guest judge Shane Sparks has been arrested and charged with 8 counts of child molestation.

Chico: That's not going to bode well for the new season.
Gordon: No it won't. Meanwhile, I have something here that you should never attempt to molest.



Chico: Yo. *pounds*

Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Wrestling competition has gone to the great squared circle in the sky.

Chico: Praise be. The rule once again, 12 months, no word, missing, assumed cancelled.

Add the Estate of Panic as well. And, unfortunately, Cha$e, both shows that us staffers here liked.

Chico: Now that just sucks. I liked those shows.

And Blush: The search for the next great make-up artist, which we didn't like as much.

Chico: Umm...no
Gordon: Now all the sci-fi fans who brave the blizzard can go out and get fully loaded.
Chico: Hic.

Cash Cab is heading to iPhone. So is Family Feud. Both are $4.99 at the iTunes App Store

Gordon: We did our own version of Cash Cab earlier on this Summer. Chico was THIS CLOSE to escape without paying the tolls.
Chico: Stupid last question.
Gordon: Who wants some hoes?
Chico: Me! *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"* I thought about playing "Cancel Christmas", but...

In this week's Hodometer, Kim Coles hosts the 2010 LA Ordanizing Awards, Jamie Faith Edmonson (Amazing Race) takes it off for Playboy...Donald Trump peddles off some golf, Rupaul has another Drag Race in February, George Duran cakes off on TLC...Alyson Hannigan and Lee Ann Rimes go cooking with Gordon Ramsay, Simon Cowell may...or may not...leave American Idol, and Adam Jasinsky is released from Prison...for now.

Chico: And all it cost him was his parent's house.
Gordon: Yep. But none of them is your ho of the week.
Chico: Who'd'ya got for me?
Gordon: Your ho is Melissa Rycroft, who first of all is co-hosting Dick Clarks's Rocking New Year's Eve, and second of all, GOT MARRIED! Isn't that great?
Chico: Wonderful! She deserves it. She's been 2009's It girl. So far as our little world is.
Gordon: I know you want to send Melissa something. Get her a toaster.
Chico: I'll get her a blender. One that makes coffee as well.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And finally, we're going global.

We're going to Italy by way of Spain. "The Sting", or "El Golpe" has been sold to Italy. It premiered to massive numbers: almost a quarter of all Italians were watching.

Gordon: The question is - when will we see it here?
Chico: A year. Maybe two..
Gordon: We'll ponder on that. And that's Brainvision. Shut it down.
Chico: Shutting it down. Still to come, Gordon plays Santa for 2008.
Chico: But first, it was last week's big story. We're going to break down what could happen as a result.
Gordon: You're reading WLTI. you give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you 22 obstacles on a course that ninjas will enjoy.
Chico: Hwa!

(Brainvision has been brought to you by The 12 Days of Secret X-Mas. Is the milk provided by the 8 Maids a milking worth $3.69 or $7.69? And what corner do you put the Partridge in a pear tree?)

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