Episode 22.6
October 19

Chico: Hey gang, I'm Chico Alexander. And I have stars in my eyes.
Gordon: I'm Gordon Pepper, and I have a comet in my pants.
Jason: (starts taking pictures like a Paparazzi) Hey Gordon! Hey Chico! Look this way! That's nice!

(Gordon & Chico jokingly pose)

Gordon: You want a picture of my comet?
Jason: ....
Chico: Moving on...
Gordon: As Jason is successfully showcasing, the theme this week is all about celebrities.
Chico: But we're not the only ones who've gone Hollywood. Because from somewhere in America, the "Gone Hollyhood" edition of WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: Yay! Gordon and Chico here, along with guest commentator Jason Block.
Jason: Greetings.
Chico: Great to have you with us as always.
Jason: Great to be here.
Chico: Alright. We're gonna start things off with a question...
Gordon: And you know you have celebrities when they guess, as possible answers to questions - themselves.
Chico: That would be the question I had in mind. Welcome to Celebrity Jeopardy!. Five words. "Who is Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?" Now, ever since that little bit aired, it just... went all over the place. Literally. I'll set the scene. Playing on the Million Dollar Celebrity Tourney is the former Lew Alcindor, Soledad O'Brien, and Michael McKean. The clue is $400 under I Went to UCLA.

Tell your old man to drag this '70s UCLA & Trail Blazer center (& Lanier!) up & down the court for 48 minutes.

Chico: Kareem jumps in and says... "Who is Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?"
Gordon: I don't remember Kareem playing for the Portland Trail Blazers
Jason: Neither do I.
Chico: Now, normally an answer like that wouldn't be so funny... but let's put things in perspective. The clue is actually a very well-known line from a little movie called "Airplane!" which starred... Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. This was posted on YouTube... Here's the link.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h03QVlrwI_s <-- Take it in before Sony does.
Gordon: That's what we'd like to call in the business a brain fart.
Chico: What does one say about that except... YOU. BIG. SUCKJOB. Nah, he kept it interesting over the half-hour.
Jason: Funny clip though.
Gordon: But that's not the biggest suck job on the Jeopardy set this week. Hey Jason!
Jason: Yes!
Gordon: How would you like to play on Jeopardy again?
Jason: I would LOVE TO. But I can't.
Gordon: Why not?
Jason: Because I have had a bite at the apple. The rules state one and done. Don't they?
Gordon: Apparently, Jeff Kirby never got that memo.
Chico: ... No. He did not.
Gordon: Jeff Kirby played Jeopardy in December of 1999. He played again...this week. Jeff wore the same tie, and with the exception of the loss of hair, looked similar. He also placed in the same position as last time - third - and won the third placed prize...or he didn't, because SONY, after being alerted by some avid game show fans, took away his money.
Jason: That would be the superb site j-archive.com.
Chico: Yep. The J! boards and the folks at J-Archive.com were all over this. That's what you call an eagle eye. And that's what you need on your staff. And you know what... I'm kinda pissed off.
Jason: At whom?
Chico: It's easy to throw the Flying Fickle Finger of Fate at Jeopardy! Contestant Coordinators for not doing their homework. It's just as easy for me to do the same at Jeff himself.
Jason: Ah. There is a 50/50 split blame here.
Chico: Precisely. Enough blame to go around.
Jason: BTW...I do have an announcement for Mr. Kirby. If you are going to try and cheat Jeopardy!, DON'T WEAR THE SAME TIE!
Chico: HA! That was the thing that got me.
Jason: See, there isn't a whose more wrong here.
Chico: You need eyes to keep tabs on these things.
Gordon: And in addition to all of what Chico and Jason said, I'm annoyed the most that there's another spot that you could have placed a specific Panamanian game show writer and didn't.
Chico: And that would be why I'm so pissed.
Gordon: Did they call you yet?
Chico: No.
Gordon: Aw.
Chico: I just want one game. If I get more than one, great, but all I want is one.
Jason: And I bet you weren't the only hopeful contestant that was.
Chico: I know of another one. Hi, James.
Gordon: It is. You also had hopeful contestants playing a Newlywed Game featuring same-sex couples.
Jason: Yes.
Chico: One of them a famous starship ensign by the name of Hikaru Sulu.
Gordon: Played by George (Please don't sing. ever. again. In public. Ever.) Takei.
Chico: He and his husband Brad Altman play the Newlywed Game to usher in season 2.
Jason: And they win.
Gordon: And now we know why there hasn't been a same-sexed couple to play the game in 35+ years. Because if you let them on, they'd win all the time.
Chico: His opponents: Chris Knight & Adrienne Curry and Damien & Nicole Gurganious from the Biggest Loser. But they were entertaining to watch at least. Especially George trying to be hip. "Oh no, you didn't."
Gordon: So you've now seen the first gay couple play The Newlywed Game. Thoughts?
Chico: Anyway, call me crazy, but I just saw another crazy couple madly in love with each other prove it on national television.
Jason: I disagree. Here's the deal on this. This is another example of game shows trying to be too PC.
Chico: And you know what.. ain't a thing wrong with it.
Jason: That's not the issue. I couldn't give a rats behind if a couple is gay or straight. Do you want to be lectured about environmental policy (TPIR, Wheel) or just watch the show?
Chico: I just watch a show. I just see two people madly keen for each other. So they're both dudes, so what.
Jason: You don't think Sony was trying to influence political policy where gay marriage is only legal in 4 states?
Chico: I think they're just putting on a show for everyone. I mean... they're gay. We get it.
Jason: Right.
Chico: The only thing I saw was who was willing to give and receive that came out wrong.  But yeah, that's my thing. "We get it, you're gay."
Gordon: I have to agree a little with Jason here, but for a different reason. I don't think it's to influence the political landscape as much as it is to appease the fans from a financial landscape. I think it's no secret that a ton of game show fans are gay, as well as a ton of people who support the network.
Chico: Precisely.
Gordon: And a ton of people who are in network TV.
Jason: That's true all around.
Chico: You can say whatever and (^_^)-all about an agenda, but at the end of the day, it's all about the bottom line. More eyeballs... more money.
Gordon: So why not give them what they want? I think doing it once in a while with celebrities is a good idea AS LONG AS they play the game and realize it's about the game, and not themselves.
Chico: As I was saying, they can say whatever about agenda.
Gordon: George and Brad took the game seriously and they actually won. Conversely, 'I've Got a Secret', with an all-gay panel, didn't take the game as seriously and lasted 13 weeks.
Chico: Yep.
Jason: Right.
Chico: It's okay to have this sort of thing, but don't lose context. You lose that context, YOU'RE lost. As I've said before... and I'll continue saying... "It's the game, stupid." Speaking of, we have a little change in the game with the elimination of the bonus round and the reinstatement of the bonus question. Thoughts?
Gordon: I think this is better, to be honest. I didn't think the Goldyweds brought anything to the party. I liked it in theory, but there's just not enough time in the show for execution.
Jason: The Goldyweds were cute. This was a better thing to do.
Chico: Yeah. It was a deviation for the sake of change, and in the long run, it didn't really work. So we stick to what did, and the show is better off for it. It's that simple. Stick with what works. Novel concept, that.
Gordon: Yep. Another example of this concept is right after that show, on Catch 21. Chico will tell us what happened.
Chico: This week, two celebrity shows. One with soap opera actors and one with Biggest Losers. Now, I'm going to throw out the lineup on Tuesday's game, and you're going to tell me where you've seen them before (other than on their shows). Jackie Zeman, Brandon Barash, and Melody Thomas Scott. Go.
Gordon: Hmm...where I've seen them before...Jackie: Match Game '90
Chico: Right.
Gordon: Brandon hasn't done a game show yet, so I have seen him before on other soaps.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: Melody Thomas Scott: My bed.
Jason: Damn.
Chico: Cheeky little. Jackie Zeman was on Match Game in the 90s. Melody Thomas Scott... To Tell the Truth. As for Brandon Barash... well, we all gotta start somewhere. It's your basic tenet: game shows work if the players work. And the players (especially Jackie, who scored three perfect 21s in the bonus) worked. They were there to play.. they're players!
Gordon: I believe Jackie was also the first celebrity to win $25,000 in the Bonus Round.
Chico: Right. So they choose celebs who want to play the game and are enthusiastic about it. They did the same on Thursday with three Biggest Loser alums. GSN loves the Biggest Loser for some reason. Anyway... Ali Vincent won AGAIN. But she didn't go for it all when she really could've.
Gordon: She stopped too early.
Chico: WAY too early. And I got a letter from a reader that proves this. Mind if I?
Gordon: Go ahead.
Chico: Okay, this is from Chris Sera. Thanks, Chris!

Gordon: Absolutely right and well done.
Chico: Gold star and welcome to the family, Chris.
Jason: Bingo. Nice job.
Chico: If Ali was thinking this far ahead... she would've done it. You play the bonus until you can't. That is the rule.
Gordon: But do people on 5th grader play ahead?
Chico: That's a good question. NO. If they played ahead, we would've had a $250,000 winner by now. But go on.
Gordon: We don't have that. We do have a list of people who have played it, though. Big Board?

Gordon: The Subject: Are You Smarter than a Celebrity?
Chico: Another good question. Yes.
Gordon: Here's the list of people who have played on 5th Grader and haven't won the grand prize.

Tom Arnold
Big Kenny
Bucky Covington
Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders
Kristen Dalton
Paula Dean
Brad Garrett
Jack Ingram
Vicky Lawrence
Mike Mizanin
John Morrison
Heidi Newfield
Melissa Peterman
David Ragan
Guiliana Rancic
Michael Waltrip
Emily West

Chico: And that's only THIS SEASON.
Gordon: Just so far in syndication. You know there'll be more.
Jason: I know.
Gordon: BUT... The 2 biggest money winners on the show so far have been the celebrities.
Jason: (THUD)
Gordon: Michael Waltrip and Megan Sharp (Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader) have both won $30,000.
Chico: They had banks of $3000 and went for the bonus, I take it.
Gordon: Yes. However, our game show spies (and 5th Grader PR people) have informed us that we may get our first $250,000 winner on Monday.
Chico: And of course, we won't tell you what the PR people are telling us, because, well, we just respect you that much.
Jason: Anti-Spoiling
Chico: Right. But seriously. What are celebs doing that civvies aren't? Aside from proper risk management skills?
Jason: That's it.
Gordon: 2 things - 1. They won't risk the $25,000 for Charity (with the exception of Big Kenney and John Morrison) and 2. They will go for it on smaller amounts.
Chico: So $25,000 no, $3000 yes. Because you're locked into $2500 and you figure... why not.
Gordon: Pretty much.
Chico: Right? There you go. Now you just need someone with that much moxie. And I think it's a long season.. it just might happen more than once.
Jason: About three times I bet.
Gordon: What about Hell's Kitchen chefs? You think they will show up?
Chico: Don't give them any ideas.
Gordon: Synergy. It will eventually happen. But we talk about One Armed Dave Levey, who manages to win Hell's Kitchen.
Jason: One Arm? Wow.
Chico: If you remember, back in episode 2 or three, he snapped his wrist.
Gordon: He fractured his wrist earlier on this season.
Chico: And it's been in a cast since.
Jason: That's impressive
Chico: And there've been NUMEROUS times when it just got to be too much, but he fought through it. There's a whole reason for that.
Gordon: Yep. He still pulled it off, in front of culinary celebrities Vikas Khanna, Thomas Ortega and Eddie Wong.
Jason: Could be the most impressive winner ever.
Gordon: As a result, Dave gets a position at the Araxi Restaurant and Bar in Whistler, British Columbia, Canada.
Chico: And it's something Gordon Ramsay loves to go on about. Simple ingredients, produced simply. The KISS rule in practice. Can I get a Big Board up in this?

Chico: This one's called "Yes, Chef!" Now let's say you, Gordon... you're in Dave's kitchen. And Jason, you're in Kevin Cottle's kitchen.
Jason: Yes chef!
Gordon: (bleep)
Chico: Gordon, you get a mushroom risotto, a venison loin, and a chocolate mousse. You can cook that, right? And you can whip it out easily and quickly, right?
Gordon: I can. It's simple enough. We've only been working on Risotto for the whole season. We did Venison as well, and Mousse is simple.
Chico: There you go. Jason...
Jason: Yes Chef!
Chico: I've got orders of caramelized scallops, beef tenderloin, and a creme brulee. You can cook that, right?
Jason: I think so. Scallops are simple. The loin is simple and Brulee is a custard with a burnt sugar topping
Chico: But how quick can you whip it out?
Jason: The loin may take a long time, though.
Gordon: And it'll take even longer now... (sprinkles peanuts in the loin)
Jason: HEY!
Chico: For those playing the home game, Jason has a severe peanut allergy.
Jason: Very much so.
Gordon: SABOTAGE!
Chico: Dude. Not cool...
Gordon: Mwa ha ha ha ha!
Jason: Grrrrr.....
Chico: That's where Dave and Gordon have you beat. He had this designed to win.
Gordon: You try cooking someone's loin with nuts and tell me how it tastes.
Chico: And I'm going to take the high road.
Gordon: It was a great strategy by Dave.
Jason: Explain please.
Chico: The KISS rule in practice. Dave's menu was quick and easy. Kevin's was tasty... but time consuming. The difference is follow-through in this case. That gave the slight edge to Dave. And that's why Dave won, I thought. It's the simplest explanation to a simple question.
Gordon: It is. It's playing the game smartly by bringing in ingredients most of the chefs have used before, instead of bringing in new stuff that the chefs may not have been exposed to.
Chico: So chefs... clear down... and let's talk to the Verizon guy.
Gordon: Now The Price is Right has been no stranger to using celebrities.
Chico: Nope.
Jason: Nope. And after the Drew Carey era started, they do it more.
Chico: Sometimes they work, and other times, they're Jack Wagner and Craig Ferguson.
Gordon: However, this is the first time that we have had an advertising icon in a Showcase. His name is Paul Marcarelli.
Jason: Can you hear me now?
Gordon: You know him better as 'The Verizon Guy'
Chico: And it was one of those Showcases that really came together.
Gordon: And he showed up on the October 12th episode of The Price is Right advertising Verizon's services.
Jason: And trips were you can use them.
Chico: And a Blackberry to use them on. Which is a fairly common TPIR prize.
Gordon: The showcases, as a whole, have become tighter with a theme, instead of just corny jokes back and forth between Drew and Rich.
Chico: And this is one of those times that just proves the point.
Jason: The show overall has become tighter and smoother.
Chico: It a seamless flow with the prize, presenter, Rich, Drew, everything.
Gordon: Very true. Now we need it consistently. The Hamsters have given us an example of what they want to see in a Showcase.
Chico: Fun tubes and hamster food again? I've seen the copy.
Gordon: They like hamster food. They also added a trip to the North Carolina Water fountain for a spa and makeover.
Jason: LOL
Chico: I suggest the one in front of Bynum Hall.  Okay, it's time for news time. Gordon, hit it!
Gordon: While Chico is taking the hamsters out for fun, Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Gordon: We start with some dates.

Do you like to Parkour? MTV Hopes you do with the Ultimate Parkour Challenge on October 22nd.

Gordon: It's basically a human obstacle course where the environment is an obstacle.
Jason: If you have seen Casino Royale, there is a scene where Parkour is being done.
Chico: If you remember Cha$e, Hunter T-Bo is a skilled agent in such a sport. It's really picking up a following.
Gordon: That could be a lot of fun to see.
Jason: Sure.
Chico: Could be. You know what else could be fun to see?
Gordon: What else?
Chico: Celebrities... on ice!
Jason: Say what?

ABC and BBC Worldwide are in talks to develop a spinoff from Dancing with the Stars that would have celebrities skating...

Chico: That sounds familiar somehow.
Gordon: Seem to remember a show on Fox featuring celebrities dancing on ice. Jason: Skating with celebrities?
Chico: That's it. There it is.
Gordon: How did that do again?
Chico: It didn't do. It doo-dooed. So yeah... ABC and BBC... Good luck with that. *no chance* As for the Business End. I have... a bone. Again. Is this a recurring theme?



Jason: AH! Augustus.
Chico: And this week, he's devouring a whole network. That's gonna be a lot of clean up.
Jason: Thats a big meal. Take Human bites.

Fox Reality, home of such acclaimed shows as Solitary and... Solitary... is going away.

Gordon: Aw.
Jason: Aw indeed
Chico: On one hand, Solitary is pretty much done. Which sucks because it's a great show and deserved better than what it got. On the other hand... Hey, no more Battle of the Bods!
Gordon: Solitary is a great show. I want to see FOX pick this up and run it through the Summer.
Chico: Or here's an idea. MyNetwork TV. Granted, it's not a network anymore.
Gordon: I have a feeling they won't be around during the Summer.
Jason: You team Solitary with the Cube and you have a monster summer lineup.
Chico: That's the one.
Gordon: That's a smart network choice. Now who's up for dumb?
Jason: Me!
Chico: I'll take dumb.

Are YOU Smarter than...Jeff Kirby, for reasons described up above.

Jason: UGH!
Gordon: BUT WAIT! There's more!

Are YOU Smarter than...Zev, who lost his passport as his team checks in first...but gets sent packing on The Amazing Race.



Chico: I think that's a flagrant foul in terms of TAR rules.
Jason: That is a Red Card. A big fat no-no
Chico: You either produce a passport or you're out. That's the rule. It's not a matter of international travel. That's in the rulebook. You have to have your fanny pack and your passport. Those are the two things you absolutely must have on your person at all times (those and whatever clues you have).
Chico: And besides... you just guard them with your life in a foreign country. That's just logic. But what specifically happened?
Gordon: They checked in first, Phil asks for the Passports, which they don't have, and they have to go back on the legs and search for them. They wind up not being able to find the passports, so they are eliminated.
Chico: It's painful to watch, but rules are rules.
Jason: Right.
Gordon: The Passports are eventually found, though it does them no good.
Chico: There you go.
Gordon: Now remember last week, when we had a Maksim rant over how he's done with Dancing With the Stars?
Jason: I do.
Chico: He isn't, isn't he?

Derek Hough has the flu, so guess who gets to rejoin the cast? The last eliminated dancer, who is Maks. This ought to be VERY entertaining when we see him and Karina Smirnoff again.

Jason: Oh boy.
Chico: DRAMA! Just avoid each other. Don't look. DON'T LOOK, MAN! What's wrong with you!
Gordon: Maks needs to go back and get fully loaded. Again.
Chico: Funny you should mention Dancing, Gordon.
Jason: Hic
Chico: Ask me why.
Jason: Why?
Chico: Gordon, ask me why.
Gordon: Why, Chico?
Chico: There's an app for that.

ABC has released a Dancing with the Stars app for iPhone and iPod Touch

Jason: Interesting
Gordon: So you can have hoes on your phone?
Chico: I can have hoes on my phone. But first, I have a big red couch. And Gordon... The Big Red Couch is coming to Carolina.
Gordon: Boo.
Chico: I got something that'll make you not boo.
Gordon: which is?

The Wheelmobile will be in North Carolina next weekend. On Friday the 23rd, it'll be in my stomping grounds of Fayetteville, NC at the Crown Coliseum.

Gordon: BOOOOOOOOOOO
Jason: Damn.
Chico: But... it's the Wheelmobile.
Gordon: I wanna play.

On Saturday the 24th, it'll be at Raleigh Wide Open on Fayetteville ST.

Chico: I can't go to either events for obvious reasons. And no, they didn't call yet. But we're not done casting.

Perfect 10 is in California looking for contestants. They'll be at the Fantasy Springs resort & Casino in Indio on Saturday the 24th.

Chico: It's good stuff.
Gordon: It is. Very good stuff. Now who's up for some hoes?
Jason: I am.
Chico: Me too! *plays "Pimpin' All over the World"*

In this week's Media Ho Report, Richard Hatch is finally released from prison, Melissa Rycroft gets the flu, Heidi Klum delivers another baby Seal...

Jason: (groans)
Chico: They make pretty babies. Pretty people make pretty babies.

The Biggest Loser plans a Thanksgiving Special, Tyler McNiven (Amazing Race winner) writes a traveling blog, Chris Knight gets a lottery game show...

Chico: in Michigan.

A.J. Benza gets booted from High Stakes Poker, Doyle Brunson blasts poker game shows, and Mia Michaels quits So You Think You Can Dance.

Gordon: But None of them are your hoes of the week.
Jason: Hoes?
Chico: Plural?
Gordon: We have Sharon Osbourne, Bret Michaels, Cyndi Lauper, Darryl Strawberry, Holly Robinson, Rod Blagojevich and Bill Goldberg
Chico: Ah... the cast of Celebrity Apprentice 3.
Gordon: That it is. We have some of the names leaked.
Jason: They shot the open last week in NYC
Chico: Yup
Jason: The street walk scene
Chico: Also in the mix is Sinbad, Carol Leifer, chef Curtis Stone, Maria Kanellis, and Summer Sanders.
Jason: Maria Kanellis is a WWE Wrestler
Chico: Carol Leifer's an actress/writer, Curtis Stone is big in Australia, Sinbad's a comic, and if you don't know who Summer Sanders is, you should read this column a little harder. She's an Olympian who hosted Sandblast and Figure It Out.
Gordon: That's a much better cast than the last season.
Chico: Sounds like it.
Jason: I think so.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes. Should be fun. Finally, let's go around the world.
Jason: Where are we going?
Chico: We're going to Australia, with Chico's Syndie Report...

Chico: Australian network edition.
Gordon: (Ticker)

In the battle of the drive-time quiz shows, Hot Seat won over Deal or No Deal. That's good. Lost in the shuffle was Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader, which logged in just under 700,000. That's BAD. The result adds a little weight to the argument that the show won't return next year.

Gordon: Ouch.
Jason: Ouch indeed
Chico: The US version... still has a 1.6, up from last week. That's good.
Jason: Very good
Gordon: How well will it do when the episodes run out in a month?
Chico: I'll let you know. Okay, that's Brainvision. Switch it off, J.
Jason: Shutting down
Chico: Still to come, things that come in fives. Like reasons... preferably good ones. 
Gordon: But first, we create an island. This is WLTI, you give us 22 minutes, and we give you 22 celebrities that need to take a vacation.

(Brainvision is powered by the WLTI Family Card. ... What, Wheel has its Wheel Watchers. Jeopardy! has its Premier Club. DoND and TPIR have its menagerie of play-at-homes... So why can't we?)

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